the world may soon lose another soul, I know I'm not important anyway.
I've tried all my life to be stable for once, right from childhood I struggled, no family, no friend, I assured myself it will get better buh it doesn't, as I get older, it seem the truckload of depression multiplies, I look in to the future all I see is a dark Paradise, each night I pray and cry myself to sleep, what could be my crime?
why was I created? I'm told we all have purposes here, what's mine? I don't know.
I have no relationship with anybody, I'm so lonely, I've struggled so much, I think its time I get some peace,something I've never knew, I feel ashamed to tell people what I go through each day, I'm like a stranger here.
Waking up each day is no longer my wish
anymore, as I'm tired of living
Nothing seems to work for me again,
I just want to escape from this world and bury
my shame
Frustrated and hopeless

What is the problem OP? You are obviously crying out for help for a reason.

Whatever you're thinking don't do it. Nobody will notice your absence and life goes on. You just have to keep grinding, thriving and pushing. Believe you me, you're not alone, there are thousands of people going through same, only weaklings and cowards take the easy way out. Keep pushing bro.

Sorry to say, this sounds more like a poem but if it's real, pls. OP don't do it. Say Wat it is just the way it is so that some good hearted fellows will come to ur rescue.

U very wrong to drop this n not talk afterwards yes D's is a faceless forum n public too BT u may never knw what could help you there's real ppl here

Try talking if u real with this post help comes from differend kind of strange ways

Op dont take any rash decision about yourself. Dont stop believing. Look on the brighter side of life. U are alive and well. That is enough to thank God for. Keep hope alive.. Dont also allow ur academic qualifications to weigh u down. Do something no matter how little.

Austindumas1:
the world may soon lose another soul, I know I'm not important anyway.
I've tried all my life to be stable for once, right from childhood I struggled, no family, no friend, I assured myself it will get better buh it doesn't, as I get older, it seem the truckload of depression multiplies, I look in to the future all I see is a dark Paradise, each night I pray and cry myself to sleep, what could be my crime?
why was I created? I'm told we all have purposes here, what's mine? I don't know.
I have no relationship with anybody, I'm so lonely, I've struggled so much, I think its time I get some peace,something I've never knew, I feel ashamed to tell people what I go through each day, I'm like a stranger here.
Waking up each day is no longer my wish
anymore, as I'm tired of living
Nothing seems to work for me again,
I just want to escape from this world and bury
my shame
Frustrated and hopeless

You have a browsing phone., data and can compose good english like the one up there and you qualify yourself as if you have nothing to thank God for...really? You need to visit an IDP camp or a specialist hospital.

I'll try to be real with you...you problem have a foundation in SELFISHNESS. Yes., i mean it., you're so selfish that you care-less about others and that makes you lie about no family and friends. Look., you better learn to care and show concern for others; life is not all about you only! The truth is real happiness in life can easily be found in making others smile through acts of kindness and appreciating the effort of others who are trying hard to help you...everybody have challenges; even dangote..yes., you heard me well...only those who are able to look beyond self enjoy a happy life.
You have all you need to pick your life up and be all you want to be if only you stop pitying yourself and get something meaningful doing.
This is my best advice for you!

Y

Alexk2:

You have a browsing phone., data and can compose good english like the one up there and you qualify yourself as if you have nothing to thank God for...really? You need to visit an IDP camp or a specialist hospital.

I'll try to be real with you...you problem have a foundation in SELFISHNESS. Yes., i mean it., you're so selfish that you care-less about others and that makes you lie about no family and friends. Look., you better learn to care and show concern for others; life is not all about you only! The truth is real happiness in life can easily be found in making others smile through acts of kindness and appreciating the effort of others who are trying hard to help you...everybody have challenges; even dangote..yes., you heard me well...only those who are able to look beyond self enjoy a happy life.
You have all you need to pick your life up and be all you want to be if only you stop pitying yourself and get something meaningful doing.
This is my best advice for you!

I wish I could give you 1 million likes with this moniker. You just summarised the fact of op's life.

Alexk2 has said it all.

mikky4764:
Sorry to say, this sounds more like a poem but if it's real, pls. OP don't do it. Say Wat it is just the way it is so that some good hearted fellows will come to ur rescue.

well it's not a poem buh I write too, I do write poems and songs based on how I feel at a particular moment.
about this post, I've battled depression for a long time, I don't usually complain much about it until of recent, I held the whole pains inside, right now it's much to carry along, I've no strength anymore.
I never had a normal childhood, my parents broke up when I was just 2,I never had any memory of my father except him beating my mum, ultimately they divorced, my dad remarried, we used to be six in my family, few years later, like a movie, I lost my siblings in an accident, my mum suffered stroke afterwards, just on recovery she lost her job, I was barely 16,I had to get my family together, I struggled, I opt out of sch then, there was nothing like stability in our lives, nobody bothered to help, I'm a sicker too, I struggled through my health and family issues, I think they whole agony slipped me into depression, the fact that nobody cares, I mean I've rich relatives including my father who could had given a hand, buh everybody paid deaf ear, even several occasions we approached some all we got was snubs, well God had been faithful too, I'm done with my ND programme in polytechnic,it was tough, cause I was responding for everything there, my journey with depression hasn't been easy, if not for my mum I'd given up already, buh on second thought, she won't make it if I die, my sister too, buh I'll lie if I say I'm happy living, the pressure and pains are much.

Austin, the truth of the matter is that there are thousands of Nigerians and indeed Nairalanders that are struggling with life just the way you are doing now. The difference between them and you is that they have a broader outlook about life , whereas you have a narrow outlook.

Again, you and I know that life is unfair, but at the same time, life owes you nothing. Your parents, family and friend owe you nothing.

It is your responsibility to get up and create the kind of life that you desire by yourself, and the best place to start is changing your thinking that life owes you shit. I am saying that it is not about you. Stop focusing on yourself alone. Other people around you matter. Do something to make them happy and you will reap happiness and joy yourself. Go out and work to create the kind of life that you will be proud of, because you TRULY CAN. And you know what? You can start where you are now with, nothing but only your TIME and MIND, your most precious resources.

Think it. Make it. You can. You must.

Alexk2:

You have a browsing phone., data and can compose good english like the one up there and you qualify yourself as if you have nothing to thank God for...really? You need to visit an IDP camp or a specialist hospital.

I'll try to be real with you...you problem have a foundation in SELFISHNESS. Yes., i mean it., you're so selfish that you care-less about others and that makes you lie about no family and friends. Look., you better learn to care and show concern for others; life is not all about you only! The truth is real happiness in life can easily be found in making others smile through acts of kindness and appreciating the effort of others who are trying hard to help you...everybody have challenges; even dangote..yes., you heard me well...only those who are able to look beyond self enjoy a happy life.
You have all you need to pick your life up and be all you want to be if only you stop pitying yourself and get something meaningful doing.
This is my best advice for you!

that's where you got it wrong, life plays us at different levels, our reactions to it differs, our psychological make ups are different, the comparison can only make sense to a certain level.
I know I've it hard with life, I equally know some people might have it harder, if I was selfish, I wouldn't be here any longer, I think I'm selfless, and my mum and sis had been my saving grace, cause each time I try to cross the line,I remember them, I remember all we've been through and instinctually I know they won't survive it if I'm gone, especially now, buh am I happy with myself? nope,my life is like a candle, burning to give them light,without it they are blanked too, don't always hastened to quick conclusion

Alexk2:

You have a browsing phone., data and can compose good english like the one up there and you qualify yourself as if you have nothing to thank God for...really? You need to visit an IDP camp or a specialist hospital.

I'll try to be real with you...you problem have a foundation in SELFISHNESS. Yes., i mean it., you're so selfish that you care-less about others and that makes you lie about no family and friends. Look., you better learn to care and show concern for others; life is not all about you only! The truth is real happiness in life can easily be found in making others smile through acts of kindness and appreciating the effort of others who are trying hard to help you...everybody have challenges; even dangote..yes., you heard me well...only those who are able to look beyond self enjoy a happy life.
You have all you need to pick your life up and be all you want to be if only you stop pitying yourself and get something meaningful doing.
This is my best advice for you!

You are the second person I will profess love to today.... I love u (no homo).
The op is a selfish lazy niggga..... He should go and see what people are suffering on a daily basis yet they are still happy and hopeful of a better tomorrow.

A person with a phone and data is here talking off point.

this bashing is really the reason I hate to speak up, I've seen people bashed when they complained, and they ended up committing suicide, anyway thanks for your time, I was wrong to make this post.
always remember we struggle differently, our reactions to pains also differs and we are different individuals.
thanks again

Austindumas1:
this bashing is really the reason I hate to speak up, I've seen people bashed when they complained, and they ended up committing suicide, anyway thanks for your time, I was wrong to make this post.
always remember we struggle differently, our reactions to pains also differs and we are different individuals.
thanks again

The bashing they are dishing out to you is being done in good faith. What they want you to do is to take responsibility for your good and that of your close relatives. They are saying that you have all it takes to succeed already, and I believe that. A person with OND, who can write well like you has got a good spring board to start from.

Be encouraged, determined to succeed and don't give in to self- pity, because you have all it takes to make it, if only you take responsiblity.

Fadamant:


The bashing they are dishing out to you is being done in good faith. What they want you to do is to take responsibility for your good and that of your close relatives. They are saying that you have all it takes to succeed already, and I believe that. A person with OND, who can write well like you has got a good spring board to start from.

Be encouraged, determined to succeed and don't give in to self- pity, because you have all it takes to make it, if only you take responsiblity.

Really appreciate people encouraging others but believe me bro, bashing does more harm than good no matter how well intentioned!

We should learn to put ourselves in the shoes of people with suicidal tendecies.

Most times what is needed is our love and encouragements and not criticism as criticism may further push the individual to feel worthless and unloved!

GOD HELP US!!

Cry nomore and run to Jesus, hes the only way out.

The guy above me accusing the op of being selfish, it's not really your fault, I hope you never have any cause to experience depression. It's not tough love, you're just being insensitive. Someone is having suicidal thoughts and you're comparing him with dangote, dangote has problems too, are you kidding me?

Austindumas1:
the world may soon lose another soul, I know I'm not important anyway.
I've tried all my life to be stable for once, right from childhood I struggled, no family, no friend, I assured myself it will get better buh it doesn't, as I get older, it seem the truckload of depression multiplies, I look in to the future all I see is a dark Paradise, each night I pray and cry myself to sleep, what could be my crime?
why was I created? I'm told we all have purposes here, what's mine? I don't know.
I have no relationship with anybody, I'm so lonely, I've struggled so much, I think its time I get some peace,something I've never knew, I feel ashamed to tell people what I go through each day, I'm like a stranger here.
Waking up each day is no longer my wish
anymore, as I'm tired of living
Nothing seems to work for me again,
I just want to escape from this world and bury
my shame
Frustrated and hopeless

@ op, take it easy oo.. Look beyond today and think of better tomorrow

Your stories don't add up OP. In march 2017, you said you were 19 but on the 13th of December 2014, you claimed you were 22yo.


You also said on another thread that you lost two of your siblings at birth and two in an accident on their way back from school. But here you're saying you lost all four of them in that accident.


On the same thread, you said your mom was laid off before that accident resulting in the stroke. But now you're saying the accident happened before the stroke that made her lose her job.


One might conclude that you're either a pathological liar, or you're delusional and this "depression" only exists in your head (I don't even want to get started on how fúcked up this is) or you're just a lazy prick playing on people's emotions to scam them out of their hard earned money.



I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt but now is the time to come clean.

Alexk2:

You have a browsing phone., data and can compose good english like the one up there and you qualify yourself as if you have nothing to thank God for...really? You need to visit an IDP camp or a specialist hospital.

I'll try to be real with you...you problem have a foundation in SELFISHNESS. Yes., i mean it., you're so selfish that you care-less about others and that makes you lie about no family and friends. Look., you better learn to care and show concern for others; life is not all about you only! The truth is real happiness in life can easily be found in making others smile through acts of kindness and appreciating the effort of others who are trying hard to help you...everybody have challenges; even dangote..yes., you heard me well...only those who are able to look beyond self enjoy a happy life.
You have all you need to pick your life up and be all you want to be if only you stop pitying yourself and get something meaningful doing.
This is my best advice for you!

Nigerians are very wicked! I have never seen a nation that are educated but refuse to educate themselves about mental illness or depression.

Everything you wrote there is jargon in the life of someone who is depressed. Talking about having data and all that, how ridiculous that people liked this post.
IDP camp? what is his business with them when his mental health is in dire need of help? Did he put them there? Do you even know what depression is?

Not long ago we learned about the death of the Linkin Park singer who committed suicide after suffering depression.

Chris Benoit,Steve Martin, Robin Williams just to name few have all committed suicide because of the same sickness. And these are famous and rich people but you are talking about writing well and data. smh

No wonder we have more mad people on the streets because these people don't have anyone to speak to, fear of being shut down or mocked. It's like YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO COMPLAIN OR FEEL BAD because other people have it worse! Really?

Dear Nigerians, We should stop shutting people with depression and if you have nothing to say, please let people who are familiar with the problem proffer solution. You are not him to know what and how he feels.

[quote author=ModusOperandi post=58889940]Your stories don't add up OP. In march 2017, you said you were 19 but on the 13th of December 2014, you claimed you were 22yo.


You also said on another thread that you lost two of your siblings at birth and two in an accident on their way back from school. But here you're saying you lost all four of them in that accident.


On the same thread, you said your mom was laid off before that accident resulting in the stroke. But now you're saying the accident happened before the stroke that made her lose her job.


One might conclude that you're either a pathological liar, or you're delusional and this "depression" only exists in your head (I don't even want to get started on how fúcked up this is) or you're just a lazy prick playing on people's emotions to scam them out of their hard earned money.



I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt but now is the time to come clean.

I've no reason to lie or do I? I was born January 1st 1995, my four siblings didn't die in the accident only two, the other two died from sickle cell anemia, and also my mum had the stroke after the accident not before, though her health was already failing her..
made be I didn't make specification, that's no enough reason to call me a liar,anyway thanks for your time.
another thing I'm far from lazy, I worked as a waiter to see myself through school, during my ND program, I've done many other jobs too,what are your basis of calling me "lazy"?

Dear Austindumas1, please kindly go to this thread https://www.nairaland.com/3084060/burnt-out-no-where-turn/11#58734249 , you will surely find someone who you can talk to. I am very certain by going through the thread, you will find some comfort.

You were born in 1995, 22 in 2014 and 19 in 2017? Maybe I just suck at math, i see you've also modified the part where you said 4 of your siblings died in the accident. Get your stories straight if you want people to take you seriously. Anyway it was just an observation, i wish you all the best,

ModusOperandi:
You were born in 1995, 22 in 2014 and 19 in 2017? Maybe I just suck at math. Anyway it was just an observation, i wish you all the best,

honestly speaking I'm 22 now,due to my condition I look far younger, I mean I'm SS,so I mostly don't tell people my real age, they don't believe me anyway, so I was try to make myself older, at least to be taken serious, I didn't celebrate my 22 birthday then.

Austindumas1:

honestly speaking I'm 22 now,due to my condition I look far younger, I mean I'm SS,so I mostly don't tell people my real age, they don't believe me anyway, so I was try to make myself older, at least to be taken serious, I didn't celebrate my 22 birthday then.

it's all good, have fun.

ModusOperandi:

it's all good, have fun.

here is a current pic of me, you can judge my real age,anyway thanks for your time

edwife:


Nigerians are very wicked! I have never seen a nation that are educated but refuse to educate themselves about mental illness or depression.

Everything you wrote there is jargon in the life of someone who is depressed. Talking about having data and all that, how ridiculous that people liked this post.
IDP camp? what is his business with them when his mental health is in dire need of help? Did he put them there? Do you even know what depression is?

Not long ago we learned about the death of the Linkin Park singer who committed suicide after suffering depression.

Chris Benoit,Steve Martin, Robin Williams just to name few have all committed suicide because of the same sickness. And these are famous and rich people but you are talking about writing well and data. smh

No wonder we have more mad people on the streets because these people don't have anyone to speak to, fear of being shut down or mocked. It's like YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO COMPLAIN OR FEEL BAD because other people have it worse! Really?

Dear Nigerians, We should stop shutting people with depression and if you have nothing to say, please let people who are familiar with the problem proffer solution. You are not him to know what and how he feels.

I choose to reply you because it is very necessary...i have offerd my best advice to the best of my knowledge base on my experience on this issue(depression). I have even advised a guy on this NL and he came back in appreciation. So, you can say all you want but i know it is in his best interest to heed to my advice...if you think you know better, why not help him out instead of attacking blindly. I challenge you to carefully go read my post once
more before trying to quote me.

Austindumas1:

here is a current pic of me, you can judge my real age,anyway thanks for your time

You look great...not exactly older than your age if you ask me.
I'll love to be a friend if you dont mind..

Alexk2:

You have a browsing phone., data and can compose good english like the one up there and you qualify yourself as if you have nothing to thank God for...really? You need to visit an IDP camp or a specialist hospital.

I'll try to be real with you...you problem have a foundation in SELFISHNESS. Yes., i mean it., you're so selfish that you care-less about others and that makes you lie about no family and friends. Look., you better learn to care and show concern for others; life is not all about you only! The truth is real happiness in life can easily be found in making others smile through acts of kindness and appreciating the effort of others who are trying hard to help you...everybody have challenges; even dangote..yes., you heard me well...only those who are able to look beyond self enjoy a happy life.
You have all you need to pick your life up and be all you want to be if only you stop pitying yourself and get something meaningful doing.
This is my best advice for you!

You should go out there and see people suffering... People who seemingly don't have anyone to run to. If it were so easy, we won't have unemployment as a social problem in Nigeria. Well, you have to walk in d op's shoes to fully understand. Pls next time keep your lack of empathy to yourself. That's how your likes push people to end it. Mtcheeew