I am looking for some advice, for the last couple of weeks I have been piecing together my husband's comments, actions, text messages, receipts, behaviour etc, and am certain he is having an affair with the new girl at work.

Lat night was the clincher, he has been Christmas shopping and left it in boot of the car, went to check on it last night after he had gone to bed, one of the things I found was 2 sets of underwear but completely nothing like my size, obviously she has a better figure than me(but I am still losing weight from having baby).

I will be double checking tomorrow (he is on works night out tonight) that they are no longer in the car, meaning that he has given them to her.

We have been together for 12 years, have 3 children, youngest is a few months old, have had some patchy times in the past but always worked through them, and thought that right now everything was going great.

Anyway, the dilemma I have is this, I have decided that I do not want to be with this man any more, I would never be able to trust him, I thought I would confront him after Christmas so it is as normal as possible for the kids. But it is really upsetting me, I can't eat, can't sleep, I started crying in the car on the way to the shops today.

So I think I want to confront him about it tomorrow night but maybe suggest that he stays till after Christmas so it is not too awful for the kids.

Does anyone have any suggestions, any help or advice?

made babe,

one thing i want u to get straight is to feel inseure about yrself.

your size has nothing to do with yr husband wandering if u were madonna, beyounce to mention just a few he will still stray.

as to what 2 do, about this issue
one minute u said u thought the r/ship was great and later u don't want to see him.

i believe caught in the act once is not enough grounds for divorce.

pls talk to him calmly about it and then u can make up yr mind after his response but also note that he might be head strong about it at 1st so pray 4 wisdom from the giver (BabaGod) if u still want to remain married.

i tell u some thing there is nothin out there better the devil u know than the angel u don't.

cheers all the best.

Thanks for your rcomments, i know it sounds a bit flippant to say i don't want him anymore, but we have been getting on well, back to having sex, joking with each other, he has been making an effort with me, telling me I am so beautiful and all that, I read this is one of the signs, that he pays more attention because he is feeling guilty.

There is other stuff that has happened in the past that might make it easier to see why I have had enough. We actually split up a few years ago for a few months, we really weren't getting on and it was him who kicked me out with the kids, he went with a few other women, again only found this out through snooping, had asked him to tell me of he started seeing anyone so I knew where I stood, but he said he didn't becasue he didn't want to hurt me! Said he then realised he wanted me, I put it down to an early 'mid-life crisis' and we got back together and our relationship grew stronger from there.

I actually had a dream a few weeks ago before I began piecing things together properly, in the dream he was having an affair, I told him about the dream and asked him if he was having an affair, he said no, then quietly said, no yet, I asked him to repeat what he said, but just said he was joking.

It just seems like one thing too many to have happened to us.

Hello,

im very sorry for your situation. But one thing i need to ask is: ARE YOU REALLY SURE HE IS CHEATING ON YOU? Maybe he bought the underwear for you? Some guys are not good in checking the right size at all! My ex-boyfriend never bought the right size of clothes for me...or maybe just once in 5 years LOL - he always missed it...

If you are 100 % sure, he is cheating on you, confront him! But make sure, that you have a place to go to, if the situation is getting out of hand. My ex was trying to beat me, because if found out, he was cheating on me for a long time. BUT try to keep the kids out of this.
Seeing, how parents quarrel or fight, could be horrible for them.
And if you fill for divorce, you need 1.) a good lawyer and 2.) support of your family and friends. Without support it will be hard for you.

I dont want to recommend divorce for you, but if you have the feeling, that you cant bear it anymore - leave him!
I think its better for kids to have a happy mother than parents who quarrel all the time.

Take care

fumi

dont really wanna talk on this issue but i have to,whatever ur decision is think of the kids.dont make decisions selfishly,cos u might regret it am talking from experience.take care

im sorry bout the situation madeline but uv gotta be patient and wise
u might confront him and realise he's not cheating
im not saying u're wrong but itz better u tread wisely in such issues as marriage
the best formula i believe 4 it
is try to catch him red handed and just walk out quietly
he'll be so ashamed and frightened he'll stop
but for now stay calm till u're 100% sure he's cheatinng on you
then just speak out your mind to him

Fumi:

Hello,

im very sorry for your situation. But one thing i need to ask is: ARE YOU REALLY SURE HE IS CHEATING ON YOU? Maybe he bought the underwear for you? Some guys are not good in checking the right size at all! My ex-boyfriend never bought the right size of clothes for me, or maybe just once in 5 years LOL - he always missed it,

If you are 100 % sure, he is cheating on you, confront him! But make sure, that you have a place to go to, if the situation is getting out of hand. My ex was trying to beat me, because if found out, he was cheating on me for a long time. BUT try to keep the kids out of this.
Seeing, how parents quarrel or fight, could be horrible for them.
And if you fill for divorce, you need 1.) a good lawyer and 2.) support of your family and friends. Without support it will be hard for you.

I don't want to recommend divorce for you, but if you have the feeling, that you can't bear it anymore - leave him!
I think its better for kids to have a happy mother than parents who quarrel all the time.

Take care

fumi

shey na deaf n dumb dey wory u abi na read n not understand?
somebody dey tell u koro-koro xperience,u still dey ask stupid question,

@topic,
sory maam bout d whole issue but one thing u have to get straight is gettin to live alone after so many years of marriage aint easy n might lead to frustration.
D devil u know is waay beta than d angel u dont know,
wat u need is to continue wit ur endurance n persevere til he changes.
better still,try n get to know wat changed him 4rm the man u r used to b4 marriage.

:Dhang in there girl,dnt jump into any conclusions and dont do anything harsh even if it si true, i thot my husband my husband was havg an affair,the hthot almost drove me mad.i donno we are all human but if he relly loves u,when u ask him nicely he will deny it but probably end it too,afterall he chose u to be his for better for worse

hey, i think she posted this 2005 and this is 2007
madeleine ,wat up? how far?what has happened?i pray the lord would make you strong for the kids

2005 ke?
its still relevant anyway.

contact cheaters.com and confirm before any move

dremoney:

2005 ke?
its still relevant anyway.

no one said it wasn't relevant just that 2yrs makes a differences in once;s life so we need to know where she stand with him now before one can comment.