Do you for once in your quiet time feel you've married the wrong person and wished you could roll back the hands of time and make another choice? I am married and the thought has never crossed my mind but I hear guys say so.

No I didn't marry the wromg person.

Boboribo:

but I hear guys say so.

And gals too!

i think i did

Maybe they think it would be easier/better with someone else, once thay reach a few years of marriage and realize it's not all fun and butterflies, The truth is, it would be more or less the same with anybody. Some of the things that are difficult in a marriage are due to marriage itself (it is not easy to share everything with one person, and all the responsibilities of marriage) or to the person herself , and not the partner (for instance, if it is a challenge for me to expose my feelings and talk to my husband about what bothers me I cannot blame it on him to "not understand me" but on myself, things would be the same with another man ).

Of course, there are some situations when a person really does marry the wrong man/woman (I'm thinking of the girls who would still marry their boyfriend after he beat them, or someone with alcohol problems etc.). But all in all, I believe marriage reveals more about ourselves than anything else, and changing partner will not change us, at some point, we have to look at ourselves and accept to change if we want to make the marriage work, not change the partner.

@poster,

it wont cross ur mind if u had just a suitor and no other option.

So long there were many and u chose him/her over others, one time it may cross your mind especially when u experience changes in behaviours.

sure in my 1st/2nd year.

Why do i feel like the poster was speaking for himself, that he is married to the wrong person?
If you sure you are, you need to love the one you with and leave all others, you can make it work

@post

i think the post should have said "married the wrong person" OR "for the wrong reason" because:

some people marry the wrong person for the right reason
some people marry the right person for the wrong reason

MRbrownJAY:

@post

i think the post should have said "married the wrong person" OR "for the wrong reason" because:

some people marry the wrong person for the right reason
some people marry the right person for the wrong reason

My thoughts too.

I did not marry the wrong person at all, she is the blood of my blood, the bone of my bone, the hair of my hair, the hand of my hand, the nose of my nose, the hand of my hand, the everything of myself,

why would anyone marry the wrong person?. You have to go through that check process first to make sure you have the right baby. Can she cook? is she clean? Is she smart?
You have to go through that check list to see if she suits you, and to see what exceptions you can live with, because you cant lie to yourself that you will get the perfect princess. People always have their little deficiencies here or there.


www.

that's so scary, actually marrying the wrong person the stress of divorce to begin with, and even finding a reason for divorce

join 9jawear on facebook

I may be wrong, but I believe very few will answer this truthfully.

@ poster, wonder why u posted if indeed it had never crossed ur mind.

I think it crosses every ones mind sometime, its not bad, be rest assured it crosses ur spouses mind too. Its normal,
its like any other decision uve made in life and u wonder if u got it right. It doesnt neccesarily mean u feel any less bout the person; if anything, it makes u understand better ur reasons for marrying him/her in the first place.
If u agree nobody is perfect and that we all have our short comings; then you cannot have a perfect husband or wife, what u have instead are good, considerate, tolerant and caring persons on both sides who have their doubts once in a while.

wrong person, wrong reason, which ever, ure bound to have those doubts once in a while.
know why??

cause we're human.

you cant marry  the wrong person. marriage fail because of altitude, if a wife have a bad altitutde to life. you would have problem. Some people just have bad altitude  or character. And instead of them correct that bad character. They blame others. It is not difficult to change a bad character, but some people dont want to change but prefer to blame others. And another thing is who is the one given you advise. If the person as a wicked heart. you would think they are telling you the truth but rather decieving you.

Abroad, they call police on themself. But this wife have never ask themself. that the police man you call is doing a job to keep is family, he does not care about you. He is just using you to make money and take care of his family, you are just a number to him. A tool, he can use
. If there are no people  as silly as you. They would less policemen, social workers would get fired etc,  So they neeed silly people like you, who have no brain to discover the thruth about life. That you put the best into your marriage and it comes first before anything. It comes best before a church or a pastor. It comes first before your brother or sister or mother or father.

You see when you destroy you home because of pastor adeboye church, do you think pastor adeboye would marry you as second wife. Or you think pastor adeboye would put your children name in his will. Or do you think the poolice would will his house to children,  Or your brother or sister is ready to put your own children on the house they brought in New york  or chicago. Hell no. You are the silly one,   Instead of some people agreeing they are silly.  They think they are wise. that why people have problem. You see before I give pastor adeboye my food. I would eat first. Because pastor adeboye does not transfer his iya  in nigeria to me.    Some people are silly and the silly one would be used by the wise one. but the silly one mostly believe they are wise and because of pride they cant humble themself and agree to be silly. They have ego. ego and pride kills.

YES I DID

Hun; good question, I did to be sincere.

I felt the poster asked a simple question: Did u marry the wrong person?
It means then that the question is strictly meant for married chaps and not  confirmed singles like my brother becomerich etc
Some contributors are even using the opportunity to turn counselors.
It is either you are married then answer the question or not married and just read through the thread and relax. Than trying to ask the poster to re-frame the wordings and all that.

becomricch:

you cant marry the wrong person. marriage fail because of altitude, if a wife have a bad altitutde to life. you would have problem. Some people just have bad altitude or character. And instead of them correct that bad character. They blame others. It is not difficult to change a bad character, but some people dont want to change but prefer to blame others. And another thing is who is the one given you advise. If the person as a wicked heart. you would think they are telling you the truth but rather decieving you.

Abroad, they call police on themself. But this wife have never ask themself. that the police man you call is doing a job to keep is family, he does not care about you. He is just using you to make money and take care of his family, you are just a number to him. A tool, he can use
. If there are no people as silly as you. They would less policemen, social workers would get fired etc, So they neeed silly people like you, who have no brain to discover the thruth about life. That you put the best into your marriage and it comes first before anything. It comes best before a church or a pastor. It comes first before your brother or sister or mother or father.

You see when you destroy you home because of pastor adeboye church, do you think pastor adeboye would marry you as second wife. Or you think pastor adeboye would put your children name in his will. Or do you think the poolice would will his house to children, Or your brother or sister is ready to put your own children on the house they brought in New york or chicago. Hell no. You are the silly one, Instead of some people agreeing they are silly. They think they are wise. that why people have problem. You see before I give pastor adeboye my food. I would eat first. Because pastor adeboye does not transfer his iya in nigeria to me. Some people are silly and the silly one would be used by the wise one. but the silly one mostly believe they are wise and because of pride they cant humble themself and agree to be silly. They have ego. ego and pride kills.

did u mean altitude or attitude? u know it could make sence both ways, one could understand why altitude could be an issue in a marriage, imagine the wife being taller. Now thats a marriage where altitude could just be a problem.

@spiderman

I think it crosses every ones mind sometime, its not bad, be rest assured it crosses your spouses mind too. Its normal,
its like any other decision uve made in life and u wonder if u got it right. It doesnt neccesarily mean u feel any less bout the person; if anything, it makes u understand better your reasons for marrying him/her in the first place.
If u agree nobody is perfect and that we all have our short comings; then you cannot have a perfect husband or wife, what u have instead are good, considerate, tolerant and caring persons on both sides who have their doubts once in a while.

wrong person, wrong reason, which ever, ure bound to have those doubts once in a while.
know why??

cause we're human.


I love your piece, articulate and without pretense.

@spiderman,
lol.

Just convert your stumbling blocks into stepping stones! That is my advice

that is one big mistake people do, dont marry because this person is perfect, marry because there is something that you know that your partner  does"t know, so if there is any misunderstanding you woun"t be blamming eachother that this person is suppose to know this. the best thing is to try and teach eachother. afterall, nobody is perfect be you man or woman.

wales:

I did not marry the wrong person at all, she is the blood of my blood, the bone of my bone, the hair of my hair, the hand of my hand, the nose of my nose, the hand of my hand, the everything of myself,

Congrats! I wonder how long you've been married for?

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that is one big mistake people do, dont marry because this person is perfect, marry because there is something that you know that your partner does"t know

rapstar:

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that is one big mistake people do, dont marry because this person is perfect, marry because there is something that you know that your partner does"t know

WHAT!? oh lawd!!!!!!! you are either very young or VERY SINGLE!!!!!

Yes i have felt like that a couple of times and yet my home is the best you can see around.on certain occassions we have had reasons to be frank and tell the truth uncoated.i dont want confrontation and my wife hate to pretend.at times like this,wen she stand up to tell me "temi,you should say sorry",i feel like swapping her but man, she's the best thing to happen to me cos she's my opposite in character thereby complementing me.as some one said earlier,its just normal.even my wife must have tot same at a time or the other.

so am not the only one? it has surely crossed my mind

i'm not married yet , i just suffered  a very terrible heartbreak on val'z day so im just trying to cope, though i find it so difficult concentrating on anything including my job, i cant even eat, and i'm getting thinner everyday.

eazyman:

i'm not married yet , i just suffered a very terrible heartbreak on val'z day so im just trying to cope, though i find it so difficult concentrating on anything including my job, i cant even eat, and i'm getting thinner everyday.

eazyman,
take am eazy,
if not, water go pass gari!!

last i checked valentine's day was 2 days ago,
if u continue down this path,
na then u go see thin.

@easyman.

the babe no do u well. when you guys do urs it sweets u. u never thin. now na morning.