maclatunji:


I kind of agree with this. Don't let love or pity blind you to give things you cannot afford to lose. Human beings are overwhelmingly disloyal.

If you don't let it, then its not love.

deepwater:
I believe the man raised her out of AGAPE love, and not with a canal mind set.
She should reciprocate same with AGAPE love and marry where she finds her own love.
She should not center her reason for not marrying him on social status because she herself is just a baby lawyer in the making - she never reach anywhere.

To be frank, most lawyers are broke .... The profession comes with just effizy and packaging, painfully these things don't pay the bills

Off topic, I almost missed not joining in this story thinking i had to drop my believes before i comment, knowing its a friday and you are the OP, many other times, i may have to contribute to or sick clarifications on some threads on FP on a day like this, but usually meet this very disclaimer. Could you please explain why this is so.

Ask Seun O. I am as innocent as 'Innocent Egbunike' O.

bukatyne:


I don't get this post....

A man not progressing for a woman insecurity?

The man sha messed up; you don't develop someone else at the expense of yourself.

Am lost at the point you are trying to make here.

The guy was not developing her at his own expense or do you think, if the lady had told this man something like this before, he would have continued?

And the guy can't train himself simultaneously, the income is meager, plus someone have to work to make that money and their is little or no time left after trunk driving to go to school.

This is the exact same scenario that plays out in the USA with especially Nigeria men, who are not professionals but do menial or contract work with their immigrant wives who they brought and Train to nursing school.

Since the husband job is not constant and in-between, the wife eventually become the breadwinner and the only person with a steady income flow and trouble starts...and in many cases I have seen, it does not always end well for wife, husband and kids.

She can upgrade his status or better still pay back every penny he spend on her three times.

tigonana:
Na y Dem dey kill some people be dis!!!

Dat lady shld be careful cos anytin fit happen.

I won't lie, this went through my mind too. The guy should just have extreme patience.

bukatyne:


The Karma that will punish her is doing press up.

So she can't turn around and train him to 'her level'?

Nice comment. The best she can do is change him to the kind of man she desires. That man is an angel in disguise.

FortuneTeller:
Is marriage slavery? He was not forced to help her. She is not obligated to marry him. However the woman should pay him for all her school fees, to have a clear conscience.

You are as wicked as the girl in question

FortuneTeller:


Sir does that change anything? So I should enslave someone because I helped them? What is the use of being with someone who does not want me? I will be miserable for a lifetime. If you are in this situation, demand your money back. But don't ruin your life over a person who has rejected you.

Somehow I agree with you on this

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She should help him up his game as well. Thats what she should do..Symbiosis. That way even if they dont end up together nobody feels used

mark2sunny:


If you don't let it, then its not love.

LOL, who is feeding you with this lie?

Biko, my own love is not blind O. It is even wearing spectacles sef.

DuBLINGreenb:
Find cash and settle the man simple if possible build house for him as a thank you gift.

with what money? Lol

Jazmiynne:


The man messed up. I repeat, the man completely messed up! In more ways than one.

The worst of his messed up errors was financing the girl and watching her change levels without improving himself.
Water will always seek it's level.

If a man is with a woman who's set on her game (regardless of who's financing that game), he had better get his act together and polish his game. Very simple. He doesn't have to be exactly at her pace, but at whatever level he's playing, he has to be ontop of his game. #enoughSaid
Y'all should free the babe biko

If he didn't finance her now, and the story was that she no longer loves the man, 99% of you would advice her not to marry out of pity o. Now because money is involved una de talk another thing.

Any man (or woman) who decides to finance their partner to success should do it because they want to, and not as an investment for marriage. Love, mutual trust, respect and loyalty are far weightier investments for marriage


Having said that, I think the babe is simply looking for an excuse. If not, what stops her from brushing up the man to her taste?
She no love am anyday that's just the simple truth. He was a means to an end, and she believes the end has been fulfilled.
The guy should pick himself, learn lessons and move on.

True Talk!!

FortuneTeller:
Is marriage slavery? He was not forced to help her. She is not obligated to marry him. However the woman should pay him for all her school fees, to have a clear conscience.

They. Are. Coming. For. You.
Remember, for most people, it's a one-way traffic
For all saying, she must marry him, it's best they gorge their eyes out of hatred for each other to please you lot

Jazmiynne:


The man messed up. I repeat, the man completely messed up! In more ways than one.

The worst of his messed up errors was financing the girl and watching her change levels without improving himself.
Water will always seek it's level.

If a man is with a woman who's set on her game (regardless of who's financing that game), he had better get his act together and polish his game. Very simple. He doesn't have to be exactly at her pace, but at whatever level he's playing, he has to be ontop of his game. #enoughSaid
Y'all should free the babe biko

If he didn't finance her now, and the story was that she no longer loves the man, 99% of you would advice her not to marry out of pity o. Now because money is involved una de talk another thing.

Any man (or woman) who decides to finance their partner to success should do it because they want to, and not as an investment for marriage. Love, mutual trust, respect and loyalty are far weightier investments for marriage
















Having said that, I think the babe is simply looking for an excuse. If not, what stops her from brushing up the man to her taste?
She no love am anyday that's just the simple truth. He was a means to an end, and she believes the end has been fulfilled.
The guy should pick himself, learn lessons and move on.

If the situation were reversed now, you go dey preach to us how men ain't worth sh*t...but you do make some valid points, it's a mistake to groom anyone with intent of any prospective filial relationship ....however, it does appear from the little info garnered here that the man may have committed a lot of effort and time to the vision of being wedded to a well educated lady...she would be embittering a visionary man irrespective of how absurd the situation may have become...dumping the man after graduation portrays her as no more than a dupe without any integrity.

maclatunji:
We listened to this on Star fm 101.5 and just had to share.

A girl’s parents die when she is 14 and somehow ends up with a young man that is a fruit seller who sends her to school with the proceeds of his business.

Later, he becomes a truck driver and continues paying for her training until she is 26 years old today and is now a lawyer.

Now, she is feeling uncomfortable about this her truck driver benefactor with marriage on the horizon. She feels she is above his level and is looking for a way to tell him.

She is looking for advice on how to do it without hurting his feelings although she is grateful for all he has done for her.

What do you think about this situation?

Source: http://www.opinions.ng/tragic-love-story-lawyer-truck-driver/

There's no way he won't feel hurt. She's selfish. Stories like this are so common. I hope people learn when investing so much resources in a lady or guy with the hope of getting married. Most of the time it won't work out.

maclatunji:
We listened to this on Star fm 101.5 and just had to share.

A girl’s parents die when she is 14 and somehow ends up with a young man that is a fruit seller who sends her to school with the proceeds of his business.

Later, he becomes a truck driver and continues paying for her training until she is 26 years old today and is now a lawyer.

Now, she is feeling uncomfortable about this her truck driver benefactor with marriage on the horizon. She feels she is above his level and is looking for a way to tell him.

She is looking for advice on how to do it without hurting his feelings although she is grateful for all he has done for her.

What do you think about this situation?

Source: http://www.opinions.ng/tragic gloves story a lawyer's truckdriver/

Based on the story line,The man must have asked for her hand in marriage.personally,I wouldn't advice her to go ahead with the marriage because of what need would the marriage with hatred and discomfort be.Rather,I'd blame the man having that mentality that she's going to be her wife..For the fact you've helpful to someone doesn't warrant you getting something in return. Personally I help others without expecting something in return from them.This erases any disappointments that may arise when things don't work out as planned.

I dont have a problem with her wanting to leave him, I have a problem with her REASON for leaving him.

She's mad!

Just get her a pack of cold farmfresh yoghurt and peppered meat with a good dose of otapiapia, kill and dry or better still sniper.
Useless human being.

JeffreyJamez:
I dont have a problem with her wanting to leave him, I have a problem with her REASON for leaving him.

She's mad!

LOL.

Sometimes when people are suffering and we pity them, we do not know that they would become monsters when they have been uplifted from their predicament.

This is really not new in the history of relationship between man and woman. But my concern is why is it taking so long for men to understand that such is a deadly venture that is not worthy of engaging in.

As for the advice, there is no way or tactics to adopt in order not to hurt him. But since you have decided to repay good and commendable gesture with ingratitude, born out of lawyer level and classical sentiment, go ahead and spill the beans, for divinity will grant him a heart of gold to absorb the shock and move on with his life. But remember, there is always a reward for every action!

my advice to d lady is to reciprocate by sendin d man to school to meet her status.

maclatunji:


If it were the reverse I am sure it would be the classic case of 'the typical ungrateful man'.

You dey mind this one? Hypocrite

FortuneTeller:


Sir does that change anything? So I should enslave someone because I helped them? What is the use of being with someone who does not want me? I will be miserable for a lifetime. If you are in this situation, demand your money back. But don't ruin your life over a person who has rejected you.

From the details we can obtain from the story there has always been a hint of a relationship from the onset, so its not like he wants to enslave her for helping her it's more of helping himself through his lover and future wife by doing all he could to help her get an education.
This makes the lady in question a scam artist who couldn't refuse his help back then but rather played to the gallery to get all she can from him.

However, I agree with you on one thing and that's that he should just let go because he won't even enjoy his life with her cos she will do all in her power to make his life miserable.

Na wa oo!

Which kind of story is this?

My advice to both parties - Karma never forgets!

It is very painful, but if I was the guy, I will just dust myself, pick myself up and move on. One big truth people don't realise about life, which I have come to realise is that whatever you sow you will reap. This is the truth and nothing but the truth, but many people out of ignorance overlook this fact, then when they begin to reap all the seeds they sowed, they will start running helter-skelter.

When you sow good things into people's life like in relationships and you get rewarded with evil, never be troubled because you will get the reward back. And most times the reward comes from a better mate than the one that did you bad. I am talking from experience. People may call you mumu or stupid, because most human beings are very selfish, let it never stop you from still sowing good things into people's life when next you have the opportunity.

That guy should move on, it will be painful, but he should never be discouraged because as long as there is day and night, he will get a very better Reward, far better than that lady.

FortuneTeller:


Sir does that change anything? So I should enslave someone because I helped them? What is the use of being with someone who does not want me? I will be miserable for a lifetime. If you are in this situation, demand your money back. But don't ruin your life over a person who has rejected you.

if u know wat it means n d deception she may have used to collect d cash den u wudnt say so, in as much as i support u in saying d man shud move on but d word pay him back is fees is a no no for me, i did same for a girl, she wud say she wud marry me, from delta i came to lag on transfer n still helped her true sch, finally she graduated last yr n i sent her to learn a trade i borrowed d cash to do dat n on feb 2017 she ran away wit a guy she felt he had more cash n had to lie to friends about me so dey wudnt blame her n by March 2017 dey broke up, her friend called to say she was suffering n i sent her some money n she said she has repented n ready to go learn d work which she stopped half way, she begged to come visit n i allowed her n den i realised she fooled me again i got angry n beat her cos for d two yrs n 6 months i dated her i have always been abused by her, checked her fone saw d oda guy n oda guys pics n cudnt find mine n d pain was just too much i beat her n in july on my birthday seh refused to post my pics wit d excuse dat we are many she cant post only my own on her dp, n den revelations started coming out how she slept wit a guy she told me was just a friend, i forgave her n a week later she started again with d insult but den wat pained me most was dat she goes about telling d new toasters how am older dan her, where as i told her my age n asked her if she was ok
she said yes, now tell me fortune how much can she pay me back, d only thing u can tell me is work away.but its not easy cos two yrs n 6 months is not a joke not to talk of 12yrs

for a guy to b abused by a lady for 2yrs not dat am crippled or she feeds me o,infact money n fud stuff she will use it to feed guys n my shirt she wud borrow to male friends though i have let go cos she wanted to leave but d hurt is there, relationship is not same as injury not all heal, in my own case i had to move on for two weeks now i have been recovering daily n praying for help, now i have girls coming but i cant really do anything cos i like to b alone. DEC her pay was higher to wat i sent to is more dan wat i gave to my mum*3 n to my younger ones hmmm i no know d percentage but i knew i did eveil to my mum to give an ungrateful girl more cash dan my own mum.

If she doesn't want to marry him.......she should calculate the amount he has spent on her multiple by three (because of inflation over ten years) and pay him back.............she should settle him financially

wait ooooo, this isn't a matter to be deliberated on. she must marry am shikena.
what nonsense. haaa
radarada.

Let her pay him off with applicable commercial interest rate on the money he has spent on her.

Please People sweden or Canada, which is the best to work and immigrate to? I need answers from all nairalanders. Please show some love and care.