The husband is living abroad,the woman is a mother of 3,civil servant.She is in Nigeria with the kids .She cares less about kids and returns home late from work frequently.She will not answer the call at times and on many occasions tell lies about her whereabouts.Its crystal clear that she is messing around.
The husband is ready to kick her out.How can a man abroad come to divorce in Nigeria?Can a man look after the kids alone abroad.Is there a reliable Nigeria woman to marry that will behave better?Can you bring such a woman to live with you abroad?

this scenario is more rampant amongst nigerians with a partner living overseas than people are willing to admit.

chaircover:

^^^^^^

Exactly.

Thats why I said that people have misplaced priorities and rather chase money than build up strong solid families.

Money made is then spent on divorce lawyers and other Item 7's that shouldnt even have been on the programme.

exactly.

my take on this is that if a man is going to be worrying himself sick about who his wife might/or might not be doing it with,then its pointless being away from her in the first place.

you will only drive yourself insane with mindless thoughts and jealousy.

With God, all things are possible. Divorce or getting another woman is the wrong decision to make. Forgiveness and trying to understand each other in love and in Christ is the only logical thing to do now. Think about it.

peacettw:

With God, all things are possible. Divorce or getting another woman is the wrong decision to make. Forgiveness and trying to understand each other in love and in Christ is the only logical thing to do now. Think about it.

God is not a basket of rubbish. How can somebody abandone his family and expect God to do miracle for him.

This guy is a classical example of numerous Nigerians I met after I letf Nigeria. They abandone their family and pretend everything is fine. Some abandone promises made in the name of God. God is suppose to purnish them. Because we know God, sometimes purnish people for erring.

If you have the means of getting married abroad and take care of the children, then why not bring the woman abroad. If you thing her career is important, then you should pack and go back and live on her income untill you get something.

Wait oh. . . so the man is ready to be a father??

What is wrong with some men sef?? Because his wife comes back late from work and doesnt pick up her calls, you automatically conclude that she is messing around? Doesnt she have her own life to live?

Nawa for some men sef

I wonder who the man is sending to spy on the woman and why the man believes this to be true. While she is supposedly out galavanting around who is watching the kids? My friend is here now with her husband but she will be the first to tell you that she was gone most days till 9pm. She lived with her parents with her boys and her husband more than took care of them financially but she is not the idle type. She was getting her degree in dentistry, she volunteered at her church and she also ran a business that kept her out a lot. If he came from a family that were nosy and out for trouble she would no doubt have been labelled a LovePeddler. Just my opinion. Nobody really knows what's going on

crown22:

The husband is living abroad,the woman is a mother of 3,civil servant.She is in Nigeria with the kids .She cares less about kids and returns home late from work frequently.She will not answer the call at times and on many occasions tell lies about her whereabouts.Its crystal clear that she is messing around.
The husband is ready to kick her out.How can a man abroad come to divorce in Nigeria?Can a man look after the kids alone abroad.Is there a reliable Nigeria woman to marry that will behave better?[/b]Can you bring such a woman to live with you abroad?

You have not dealt with a situation first and you are already thinking of another "reliable woman"?

Outstrip:

I wonder who the man is sending to spy on the woman and why the man believes this to be true. While she is supposedly out galavanting around who is watching the kids? My friend is here now with her husband but she will be the first to tell you that she was gone most days till 9pm. She lived with her parents with her boys and her husband more than took care of them financially but she is not the idle type. She was getting her degree in dentistry, she volunteered at her church and she also ran a business that kept her out a lot. [b]If he came from a family that were nosy and out for trouble she would no doubt have been labelled a LovePeddler. Just my opinion. Nobody really knows what's going on

This is the case.

@chaircover/mrprsdent
Marital problems should not be seen as living alone abroad issue,
If you have issues with people living abroad that should be a different matter
There are several women with their husbands living and working together in Nigeria
They still end up paying divorce lawyers
A married woman recently died in an hotel in Nigeria-she sneaked out of matrimonial home with a secret lover.
Face issues critically and avoid biases and bad belly and petty jealousy.

Intelligent issues are to investigate properly before jumping to conclusions
Call and talk well with the woman and express your concerns
Dont think of another woman as suggested by a clever person above
Think of bringing her over and live together
There are some women living just in Abuja and husbands in Lagos and still "over enjoy in Abuja
There are also many couples living together abroad and still divorce
There are many couples living together daily and waking up together and still divorce
The main issues are Trust,Effective communication and DONT LISTEN TO RUMOURS since you are not around
Think of bringing her,if she is disloyal she wont love to go because of extra duties
Love and respect and be committed and dont abandon your lover,body no be wood

@chaircover , I beg to differ ,  you can not blanket all their issues into one person living abroad and the other living at home.

I lived with a family that the Father lived in Saudi Arabia for twenty years , while the mum worked as a doctor in naija and they have 4 kids . 2 of the kids are doctors now, one is an engineer and the last an investment banker all now in the states . the father and mother sacrificed to make a better life for there kids. The father is now back at home in nigeria with the wife living happily retired .

The fact of the matter is because something is not traditional it does not make it wrong. I spent 10 years with this family and learnt more about christianty, family values and ambition ( they have truly shaped who i am today)  from this family than my parents who are now divorced and lived togerther for 15 years in naija before seperating

Any marraige is built on trust and good planning . if you have made any decisions or sacrifices in your marriage you must stick to the plan and remain loyal to your  partner.

There are women and men who sleep with lovers under there spouse's nose ( a cheat is a cheat no explanation or rationalization required ) also dont choose a path that you can not stick to

Pittbaby I think you guys are missing the point abeg. I grew up in an estate that housed mainly senior university staff. During the early 90's just about every single medical doctor went to Saudi Arabia and many of the wives were creeping. In fact I know of two. The men might have been faithful as they were in Saudi and they value their joysticks the women on the other hand were lonely and many times stressed. Remember that we are talking about Saudi that the men can return any time. In a case were they are either out illegally and cannot come back until papers a straight then it is very likely that the women will creep. You cannot sit here and say that these decisions were made for the better fo any family. Nobody is saying that absolutely every person will cheat but the fact remains that the situations makes it more likely that something like that will happen. To be honest I don't think it is even right in God's eyes but then again I might be wrong

Chair cover

I dont completely disagree with your point of view , and the family I lived with was not a minority . There were quite a few families in the UI community that had fathers working in very well paying jobs and catering for families back home .

It is not an easy choice and requires great commitment and sacrifice from both parties. which is the point i am trying to make , this family was simply not prepared to make the commitment. It requires commitment on both sides , in this case we are not sure if the husband ever visits home , or if the wife can visit him . How well is he actually providing for his family or if they have a joint goal in mind about his time away. I know quite a number of people in different circumstances husband in Naija , wife and kids in US while husband establishes business  and makes  things stable before bring over wife and kids.

and in terms of the minority statement the fact of the matter is you only hear of cases where things went wrong and hardly ever of the cases where things went right. hence my decision to cite my experience

That is why I begged to differ and stated that there must be a plan and commitment.  

you have a very good stance on most issues but  I must (respectfully)differ with you point of view (not you) on this one

Pittbaby I think you guys are missing the point abeg. I grew up in an estate that housed mainly senior university staff. During the early 90's just about every single medical doctor went to Saudi Arabia and many of the wives were creeping. In fact I know of two. The men might have been faithful as they were in Saudi and they value their manlinesses the women on the other hand were lonely and many times stressed. Remember that we are talking about Saudi that the men can return any time. In a case were they are either out illegally and cannot come back until papers a straight then it is very likely that the women will creep. You cannot sit here and say that these decisions were made for the better fo any family. Nobody is saying that absolutely every person will cheat but the fact remains that the situations makes it more likely that something like that will happen. To be honest I don't think it is even right in God's eyes but then again I might be wrong

Please if we look at it statistically in a community of  women how many will cheat whether there husband is there or not. but you hit the nail on the head with the statement about legal papers. Again it must be a workable plan with a cut off point.  You can not run a marraige where you dont see each other for an inordinate period of time due to travel restrictions. At that point you have to decide wheter na abroad or your wife chikena I whole heartedly agree with that.

@Pittbaby; what do I know? I don't have all the answers o! LOL. I am just like everyone else; trying to juggle 1001 things at the same time

I have learnt a lot on this forum myself; to me, everyones views are important So I respectfully take your comments and views on board too

Right back at you sweetie , no one but god has all the answers o !!!