If You See Olosho, Marry Her! She'll Almost Make A Better Wife.

Not many Nigerians drop in customary courts. In today's Nigeria of emptiness, thirst and lack, you are only depriving yourself of 24-carat relaxation, if you are not a signatory to the painful comedies that sneak out from such courts. I've not been there though; the stories that escape those enclosures bring about genuine laughter meant only for trying times like this. "I know of four men that my wife has slept with," "I'm no longer interested, I caught her stuffing the turkey with my gateman," "oh! I caught this woman with my younger brother, sinking the sausage in my own bed," "dissolve us please, she still has sex with her ex, after five years of marriage," "my mechanic has been sleeping with my wife," and so on, are the likes of things couples discuss with the president/Judge. Who will get married to an innocent looking girl? You? Well.

An average man prefers a young,pretty, innocent looking and well structured doll face for a wife. In fact, old men who want to re-marry even prefer such ladies. Mere seeing their faces, you can't but trust such butterflies. Before they tell you 'yes,' you are already planning marriage with them. When they smile at you, you would definitely will half of your real estate to them. Twenty four hours into your relationship, you can beat your chest that she's all yours and loves you without reservation. She can't have a side chic, not her type does that. Mere looking at her lips, you want to get married tomorrow. Woah! She's just too soft. When some meet such girls, they even pooh-pooh and brush off their friends.She's enough for a companion. She's caring, loving, gentle, intelligent and fun to be with, so, what else? Death! Oh sorry, next paragrah!

Have you ever imagined why some men just die of heart attack? One of the most stinging and sensitive feelings is that of when a girl you live for, cheats on you without a single sign of remorse. If there's one attribute of innocent looking ladies not many care to know, it is that they are also blunt. They are intelligent enough to give you reasons they slept with your driver and/or friend. "Because you do go to work in the morning and come back in the evening. I always feel lonely, what do you expect me to do?" If you are not satisfied with that beautiful response, then she'll continue, "Maybe we should break up.I had no option then, you should try to understand." That's when a lover boy/man would collapse only to wake up in the hospital.

Someone told me the story of a guy who went to pay his friend a visit, on getting there, he met his friend and they gisted. The friend he was visiting told him how hes been on the job with a pretty girl.They must have both laughed as the friend even showed his visitor some of the girls' undies. It was not funny when the girl showed up from the bathroom and alas! She was the visitors' girlfriend.What a dark day for a serious lover! This is the minim: Is it not better to date Olosho (a sex worker), so that at least you are sure of something? You are sure your babe is with some guy now getting herself screwed. Even, getting married to Olosho seems better as you would also be sure your wife is with some other man rendering sexual service when you are out for work. In fact, if you get home before her, you can easily put a call through to her and ask her to give the phone to the man she's sleeping with. That done, you would just request that the man releases your wife with a promise that you would relief her very early the next day, so that she would continue with the chemistry. Oh shit! What have I been saying? Who will marry Olosho?

How I wish innocent looking ladies are really above suspicion.If Only Saint-like girls are really trustworthy.That, no girl is truly angelic? No! Well, I will get married to a pretty and innocent looking lady who is decent too.Just that I won't place all my trust in her, but in God, who is the only one that can't disappoint.

Ayeni Faith Damilola is a writer, public speaker and eulogist.
faithdamilolaayeni@yahoo.com

I beg pardon, but this writeup just ended up meandering and saying nothing.

Only government officials retire, oloshos don't

@op,a man once told me"you cant study a wuman",if you are always having the thought of someone shagin your gf/wife then you will be restles till eternity.Thats why,i cant go into a relationship with someone i dont "trust".To married an olosho is like a man that thosint have a problem with "polyandri".

so if you're offered a brand new car you'd go for the panel-beated one??

My motto in life:

I do not OWN any Woman.
I do not OWE any Woman.

I cannot come and go and have heartache for woman mara jare

How can someone even think of marrying a prostitute

MhizzAJ:
How can someone even think of marrying a prostitute

Are they not human beings with a future? They have feelings too

I hear you.
Modified:
There's so much sense in the message the writer is trying to pass.
The problem is that people think that they are smart while others are dull.
But I still don't believe that it has gotten as bad as the title suggests.

DanseMacabre:
I beg pardon, but this writeup just ended up meandering and saying nothing.

Then you must lack imagination if the patent sarcasm in the OP's write-up eludes you. And the OP did say something, albeit indirectly. The message s/he sought to convey is that "appearances can be misleading".

DarkRebel69:


Then you must lack imagination if the patent sarcasm in the OP's write-up eludes you. And the OP did say something, albeit indirectly. The message s/he sought to convey is that "appearances can be misleading".

If this cliched piece of verbosity sounds in the least way 'patently' sarcastic to you, then you must have an exaggerated sense of imagination. I can only hope you don't hallucinate or hear voices.


And no, the underlyingmessage is that anybody can change. So much for your imagination.

People hardly change,they either change enviroment or slow down for a while,sooner or later there real self will come out.

My only fear is her punna..go wide full everywhere..

DanseMacabre:

If this cliched piece of verbosity sounds in the least way 'patently' sarcastic to you, then you must have an exaggerated sense of imagination. I can only hope you don't hallucinate or hear voices.

And no, the underlyingmessage is that anybody can change. So much for your imagination.

If it's not sarcasm or satire, are you insinuating then that the writer was being literal when she opined that men should begin now marry "ladies of the evening" should they come by one? If you claim my imagination is exaggerated then it appears yours is sorely under-used.

As regards the second half of your comment, we're both saying the same thing in different ways. "Appearances can be deceiving". "Anybody can change" – Potato, poTAto.
Another thing I find curious: First you say the OP wounded up saying "nothing", and yet in this comment you seemed to have magically discovered the "underlying message" of what you prior had called meaningless meanderings. How so?

DarkRebel69:


If it's not sarcasm or satire, are you insinuating then that the writer was being literal when she opined that men should begin now marry "ladies of the evening" should they come by one? If you claim my imagination is exaggerated then it appears yours is sorely under-used.

As regards the second half of your comment, we're both saying the same thing in different ways. "Appearances can be deceiving". "Anybody can change" – Potato, poTAto.
Another thing I find curious: First you say the OP wounded up saying "nothing", and yet in this comment you seemed to have magically discovered the "underlying message" of what you prior had called meaningless meanderings. How so?

Does the idiom 'beating around the bush' strike a chord with you?