I am usually disappointed at the kind of double standards and selfish perspectives that most Nigerian men have. You will see Nigerian men complain about how women tend to aim high in terms of the kind of men they want. You will see them whine about how women only want successful, rich and powerful men. But it's still this same men that would confidently say that they can only date and marry beautiful women.
Nigerian men would argue that only financially successful women should date financially successful men, but yet you'll still see these same men assert that they only want women who have hourglass figures and Cleopatra faces, despite the fact that they themselves aren't good looking. What a shameful double standard that obviously stems from terrible insecurities.

What these men fail to realize is that men and women want different things in a relationship and these requirements complement the needs of both partners. Women naturally want security, protection and care from their man and men know this and they are okay with it because it compliments their desire to provide care and
security for their partners. No normal woman would go into a relationship expecting to provide for her man or to assume the role of the care giver. And no normal man would expect his woman to be the one to show care, protect him and give him a sense of security. It's unnatural. Unlike men, what women need from a man isn't primarily looks because this doesn't stab into the core of their primary needs - care, protection and security. Men are more interested in looks because that's the way they are wired.
So if this is the case why do men complain when women express needs that reflect their nature, like preferring men who are successful, rich and powerful while men have the free pass to say they prefer women who are pretty and have gorgeous bodies?

I also don't see how it's any man's business the kind of man a woman prefers to date or marry. Everyone has their own preferences. No one should criticize anyone for those preferences. Even if a woman's preference delays her from getting married, how is it any man's business? No one should be forced or cajoled into settling for less than they prefer. Nigerian men should stop forcing Nigerian women to lower their standards just to tickle their insecurities and align with their mediocre perspectives.

cc lalasticlala dominique

YOU ARE VERY SMART FOR POSTING THIS OP, TELL EM BITCHY MALES. I KNOW WHAT I WANT AND I DON'T LOWER MY STANDARD TO THE EXTENT OF JUMPING INTO MARRIAGE BECAUSE OF PEER OR FAMILY PRESSURE. I KNOW WHAT MY HEART WANTS AND MY AIM AND NOTHING OR NOBODY CAN FORCE ME TO DO WHAT I DON'T WANT... PEOPLE ARE FREE TO LIVE THEIR LIFE THE WAY THEY WANT. AND SO WILL I.

Nairaland feminist will come and concur you like

Definitely... Even though some are unrealistic. I believe they should know that.

I know what I want and am not changing my mind about, no one can talk me out of it either.

who cares what men (or women) want?! just be yourself and basta!

issorite!

Who's d gal behind dis male moniker
Time never reach 4 u 2 deactivate

Dude we have heard you.

So boring...

Mtcheeew

I bet my two balls that a lady is behind that mokiner

Your topics have exposed you

sunshineG:
I bet my two balls that a lady is behind that mokiner

Your topics have exposed you

We have male feminists.
Oya submit dem balls. Should look good in egusi soup

Nma27:
We have male feminists.
Oya submit dem balls. Should look good in egusi soup

no we have pussyist ( pussy ass,niggas) not feminist

I doubt the op is one of them though.
Her right up is too biased. A man will not spend his whole time attacking other men. There is no reason for such. I am a man and I know how most men reason.

Note: I am not saying ladies shouldn't do what ever they feel like.

Dear OP nobody said that a woman should marry a man who is financially broke. Even me too will not try that;provision is very important in human relationships. What we criticise is when a woman says she wants to marry a very rich man knowing fully well that very few men in Nigeria in their 30's can be "very rich" not because they are not hardworking but because our economy is messed up. We should learn to curtail our ambitions with our environment's reality. The failure to do that is why everybody guy is going into Yahoo, ritual killing and drugs and many women even the married ones are doing olosho. Anyways sha, all na talk; I see women from even rich homes marrying normal bankers who earn not more than 120k in a month.

sunshineG:

no we have pussyist ( pussy ass,niggas) not feminist

I doubt the op is one of them though.
Her right up is too biased. A man will not spend his whole time attacking other men. There is no reason for such. I am a man and I know how most men reason.

Note: I am not saying ladies shouldn't do what ever they feel like.

So u not giving d balls

Nma27:
So u not giving d balls

What do you want to do with my balls?

It is,not that delicious now

Nma27:
We have male feminists.
Oya submit dem balls. Should look good in egusi soup

I'm not a feminist. I actually regard feminism as lame, misguided, uninformed and utterly silly. I just enjoy speaking the truth.

Maduawuchukwu:
Dear OP nobody said that a woman should marry a man who is financially broke. Even me too will not try that;provision is very important in human relationships. What we criticise is when a woman says she wants to marry a very rich man knowing fully well that very few men in Nigeria in their 30's can be "very rich" not because they are not hardworking but because our economy is messed up. We should learn to curtail our ambitions with our environment's reality. The failure to do that is why everybody guy is going into Yahoo, ritual killing and drugs and many women even the married ones are doing olosho. Anyways sha, all na talk; I see women from even rich homes marrying normal bankers who earn not more than 120k in a month.

The point of the op's writeup is that women should be free to choose the man they want without any criticism from anyone.
That's what you aren't getting,
Even If it's a billionaire the girl wants to marry she has every right to say so
You have no right to try and curtail anyone's ambition because of your own personal views neither do you have the right to criticize anyone for their choices just because you do not agree with it
That is the op's point.

Daeylar:


The point of the op's writeup is that women should be free to choose the man they want without any criticism from anyone.
That's what you aren't getting,
Even If it's a billionaire the girl wants to marry she has every right to say so
You have no right to try and curtail anyone's ambition because of your own personal views neither do you have the right to criticize anyone for their choices just because you do not agree with it
That is the op's point.

Exactly. Help me tell him

I am starting to think the monikers DouglasH92 and Misscokie were created by nairaland to upload similar topics that generate a bit of traffic for the site.

The former claims to be male and tackles male while the latter claims to be female and tackles female.

For the topic, I dont think this is an issue.

•••Girls now creating male account...

DouglasH92:
I am usually disappointed at the kind of double standards and selfish perspectives that most Nigerian men have. You will see Nigerian men complain about how women tend to aim high in terms of the kind of men they want. You will see them whine about how women only want successful, rich and powerful men. But it's still this same men that would confidently say that they can only date and marry beautiful women.
Nigerian men would argue that only financially successful women should date financially successful men, but yet you'll still see these same men assert that they only want women who have hourglass figures and Cleopatra faces, despite the fact that they themselves aren't good looking. What a shameful double standard that obviously stems from terrible insecurities.

What these men fail to realize is that men and women want different things in a relationship and these requirements complement the needs of both partners. Women naturally want security, protection and care from their man and men know this and they are okay with it because it compliments their desire to provide care and
security for their partners. No normal woman would go into a relationship expecting to provide for her man or to assume the role of the care giver. And no normal man would expect his woman to be the one to show care, protect him and give him a sense of security. It's unnatural. Unlike men, what women need from a man isn't primarily looks because this doesn't stab into the core of their primary needs - care, protection and security. Men are more interested in looks because that's the way they are wired.
So if this is the case why do men complain when women express needs that reflect their nature, like preferring men who are successful, rich and powerful while men have the free pass to say they prefer women who are pretty and have gorgeous bodies?

I also don't see how it's any man's business the kind of man a woman prefers to date or marry. Everyone has their own preferences. No one should criticize anyone for those preferences. Even if a woman's preference delays her from getting married, how is it any man's business? No one should be forced or cajoled into settling for less than they prefer. Nigerian men should stop forcing Nigerian women to lower their standards just to tickle their insecurities and align with their mediocre perspectives.

Its because you guys are paying too much attention to the noise, as long as they can't hold a gun to a woman's head and say don't marry that guy, its all noise you either let it affect you or you don't that's how I see it, besides I'd advise you to take everything here at face value, this thread is mostly visited by 21-25 so what does that tell you.

iamJ:
Nairaland feminist will come and concur you like

Chai!
Chineke!

Daeylar:


The point of the op's writeup is that women should be free to choose the man they want without any criticism from anyone.
That's what you aren't getting,
Even If it's a billionaire the girl wants to marry she has every right to say so
You have no right to try and curtail anyone's ambition because of your own personal views neither do you have the right to criticize anyone for their choices just because you do not agree with it
That is the op's point.

We all have the right to make our choices but our choices should be guided by our realities otherwise we are destroying ourselves. A situation where every woman wants to marry a billonaire in this poor Nigeria is going to be very destructive. Crime and desperation will go through the roof and we will all lose. You can't have a country like Senegal and desire American luxury.