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The Cross Of The First Child - Family - Nairaland

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The Cross Of The First Child by Aminzy(m): 8:03am On Sep 20, 2017
Being the first child comes with a lot of responsibilities and everyone around especially parents, seem to lord it over you. You are meant to be responsible for your younger ones. In academics, you are expected to be the first. Socially, you are meant to set the pace for a bright future. Physically, you are expected to be strong. Even your younger ones look up to you for support in crisis situations because they expect you to be the leader.
Unfortunately, being first also makes you a scapegoat. The sins of the younger children are borne by the eldest simply because you should have envisaged their wrongdoing. You should have cautioned them when they were about to set foot on the path of destruction.
This tradition of the “responsible first child” moves from generation to generation. Check every generation you have come across, the first child is always believed to be the pacesetter. The one who should shoulder all responsibilities. Woe betide the first child that falls short of expectation. The child is seen as an outcast. A disgrace to the family. A nincompoop. This is the reason why even the elders pray that the first child will always remain ahead of his/her younger ones.
If the younger one begins to shine brighter than the elder in any area of life, he becomes a yardstick for the older one. The older one begins to get compared to his younger one. Individual differences are thrown out and it is never considered that each child has his/her own strengths and weaknesses. In extreme cases, the first child is considered a failure. For a child with low self-esteem, the decline begins.
If responsibility for younger ones are dumped on the shoulder of the first child, who is responsible for the first child? Has anyone ever thought that the first child sometimes might just want to be left alone without having to premeditate the actions of his/her younger ones? Does being the first automatically make him/her immune to mistakes?
Can you relate with this? Either as a first child or observed the toga of responsibility and perfection being placed on an older one? Please share your experience in the comment section below.

cc lalasticlala
Re: The Cross Of The First Child by ImaIma1(f): 8:58am On Sep 20, 2017
It is a mistake for a child whether first or not to be saddled with responsibilities of his/her siblings especially financially. Parents should have the number of children they can cater for and not expect the first child to take up their responsibilities.

Couples just have children up and down with "it is God that gives children" as their watchword.

And inasmuch as the first child is meant to be a role model to the younger ones, attention should also be paid to their feelings so that they are not under pressure.

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Re: The Cross Of The First Child by tayo60(f): 9:20am On Sep 20, 2017
Its not only the first child that shoulders the responsibility of others. Any of the siblings can do that so far he or she has the ability and capability of doing such.

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