mukina2:

Meehn una don kill me for this thread

_{sorry guys just had to  add this}

My neighbour's wife and him were having this argument, he said, ]your child came back by 11:30, the woman said no, she came half past 11 she didnt even realise what she was arguing for, and she was getting angry lol, insisting on the half past 11 . That night we laff sotay

LWKMD

hackney:

We had this thermometer on top of the tele and Dad said that one day the thread will drop below zero and it would snow. (in Imo state!!)
I and my sister will sneakily go and shake this thermometer like mad, turn it upside to no avail.

After we realised that he told us that so that we can stay indoors watching the thermometer instead of wandering
out of the compound.

Awwwwwwwwww

i remember when i was much younger i asked my mom y r some womens stomach big (pregnant) n others small for example when aunty bose married (my moms younger sister) her stomach was small suddely it becomes big mummy y is dat

mummys answer-weneva u marry God touches ur stomach n it automatically becomes big n i believed

another memory is wen i was younger i asked my mom dat ur breast is big n ur freinds own too,how come mine is flat like a mans own n she said wen u grow up it will become big
any tym i remember i chuckle

Years past when our parents fight and I mean good fight,Mum always pack her stuffs and move to her parent's house and we, the children, are always happy cos Mummy made us share a piece of meat between the three of us but when she's out, Dad goes to mama put to buy us food with assorted meat every day for about a week until they settle.

Then, I used to think they wont last together now they both live together without any of us. If they still fight, we dont get to hear it anymore!

my mum can be very melodramatic. . . . . . .i remember one time i just got back from school and we were going to church i wore these very high heels nd considering the fact dat am very tall so i was looking like a tree on our way, my mum was looking at me with pity and concern written all over her wen twas time to go forward to drop the offering she offered to hold me for support saying i might trip and fall on the aisle then the peak was after church she brought out these pair of flip-flops from her church bag and gave them to me she said she knows i ll need it on the long run twas really funny dat day cos she would not just take her eyes off my legs

A young couple gave bith to a bouncing baby boy, his grand father was to give a name; he said quickly 'Goodluck Y' adua VP'

denzel2009:

Years past when our parents fight and I mean good fight,Mum always pack her stuffs and move to her parent's house and we, the children, are always happy cos Mummy makes us share a piece of meat between the three of us but when she's out, Dad goes to mama put to buy us food with assorted meat every day for about a week until they settle.

Then, I used to think they wont last together now they both live together without any of us. If they still fight, we dont get to hear it anymore!

LWKMD. . . . .Me too, when me and my sisters were much younger, we always wish that our parents get into another big quarrel because as usual dad w.ill send her to her parents home and then we can enjoy the kind of life that we couldn't when mom was around, we'll dictate what we wanted to eat to our dad, sleep late, watch tv like crazi and sometimes even decline to go to school but whenever they settle and Margaret Thatcher is back, we are back to square one again!!!!


I remember when i was much younger and as usual i miss behave, you know normally as kids you start crying even before you are being flogged, my mum will lock the door and say "Kosi iyalaya Babangida toma gba e sile lowo mi ti nba rae gba" Metadinlogun Babangida kankan ole gba ilekun ki nsi" Meaning. . . .There is no amount of Babangida that will save you from my hand and even if Babangida tries to knock the door and plead on your behalf, it will fall on deaf ear. (Babangida was the head of state then) Each time i remember this i just burst into a fat laff.

Am loving this thread!!! Am coming with more soon, i dey go work!!

mumsie used to invent words all the time, until we had a vocab of little known home slangs e.g. sprak out - gerrout!
if you drop something, she yells out 'break it o!' and doesn't ask if you're hurt.

she comes home and yells 'i'm hungry! why isn't there breakfast for me?' so while we're running around to prepare something she starts - bread and tea, left over rice, and by the time brekkie's ready, she eats a little and says she's full (of course she is!)

mumC eats, cleans out her plate and asks u to come and take away the 'tasteless food you gave me to eat'. we say 'mum, you cleaned your plate out, and licked the last drops!' and she answers 'yes. cos it was so terrible'.

my dad used to call himself our 'guinea pig' back then when we were learning to cook  

bjmighty:


LWKMD. . . . .Me too, when me and my sisters were much younger, we always wish that our parents get into another big quarrel because as usual dad w.ill send her to her parents home and then we can enjoy the kind of life that we couldn't when mom was around, we'll dictate what we wanted to eat to our dad, sleep late, watch tv like crazi and sometimes even decline to go to school but whenever they settle and Margaret Thatcher is back, we are back to square one again!!!!


I remember when i was much younger and as usual i miss behave, you know normally as kids you start crying even before you are being flogged, my mum will lock the door and say "Kosi iyalaya Babangida toma gba e sile lowo mi ti nba rae gba" Metadinlogun Babangida kankan ole gba ilekun ki nsi" Meaning. . . .There is no amount of Babangida that will save you from my hand and even if Babangida tries to knock the door and plead on your behalf, it will fall on deaf ear. (Babangida was the head of state then) Each time i remember this i just burst into a fat laff.

Am loving this thread!!! Am coming with more soon, i dey go work!!

laffed so hard i'm in tears!! dayummm!! musta been one of those flogging-to-remember sessions!

My dad: we'r leaving 4 church @ exactly 8.30am

@8.30am, evry other psn 'll be ready, waiting 4 him.

@9.05am, he heads 4 his car & evry1 runs after him.

no, no, no, noooooo, this is funny. oh my gawrd

I hear u

Kai, a lot of childhood memories are just streaming back into my head as I go through this thread. My mother had this habit of patting her head constantly while she was not engaged in any activity. I would be wondering what was in her hair that she was trying to kill Then she was very good with words and spoke very fluent English. She used to pick on me then as she practised her vocabulary. Here she goes: '' Stop behaving like a slowpoke!!, [ The patting of her head goes on ] '' Don't join the Junk Journalists when you grow up'' [ The patting of her head continues ].

As for my dad, there was one day I came back from my friend's house at Ikeja. I had just bought some new clothes and trainers then, so I was looking good. As I stepped into the sitting room, my dad looked at me and winked '' Hmn, so how did it go with the girl?. Talk to me. '' I was just laughing that day


www.vibes-extra..com

LMAO sum crazy funny storiesss

therez alotta stuff i find amusin bwt ma mum n dad lol. . .therez alwayz a show in ma house errday
Cn remember 1 day we were all dwnstairs. . .err1 bk 4rm uni, wrk n ting. . , there waz ds slow Old tune playin on tv n ma mum is really gd wiv dem bk in da day songz lol. . . as this particular one waz playin, she stood up n started dancin. i dnt knw if she waz tryin 2 dance yahooze 2 da slow song lmao . .errr1 started laaaffffiiinnnn but da highlight waz wen ma dad suddenly came dwnstairs wiv his house robe, wearin nothin less than 5 jumpers inside , ma mum sed 2 him as she waz still up n dancin away, 'excuse me young man, can i hve ds dance'. . .lmaoooo dat waz sooo much joookkeesss. and ma dad as strict man naa waz lyk 'my friend wait let me pass jor''. . laffin as he sed it. . .waz really jookkesss dat day . . .fun tymz

I remember  one time when I was about ten, or eleven years old, the whole family was in the living room and I looked across at my darling mom and I noticed that she was staring into space, lost in thought, with a worried look across her face. Things werent the best at that point in our life. Anyways, in order to make mom laugh I interrupted her thoughts and blurted out "Ma, I can tell what ure thinking". She snapped out of her trance and looked at me, knowing that I always had something hilarious to say, and asked "Really? Ok, what was I thinking?" I replied "You were looking at me and asking urself  'wow, how on earth did I give birth to such a beautiful son'? ". My sisters and dad hadnt finish laughing at my statement when mom replied "I was thinking of u alright, but I was really asking myself 'When am I gonna have the courage to return HIM to the zoo?". Then she stood up and went to her bed room. lol. We almost died laughing. Moms left us in stitches that night!!!! oH BOY, tHOSE were the days!!!

y'all have got some funny stories. Anytime we beg Mumsi for money she goes, "i'm taking record of all this money i'm giving you. When you start working, i'll collect it with interest." or when we sit heavily on the sitting room chairs, she says; "I know you'll buy gold chairs for my in the future, but I don't want to sit on the floor with my husband till then". Popsi has this way of looking over his glasses when we come to ask him for something that makes one feel like he'll refuse. He usually doesn't but the few seconds before he agrees feel like years. Parents really,

had no childhood memories,

came into the world at the age of 26,

my younger bro just said i was a mad man on the street b4 26.

somebody will die today!

My mum does not allow me to touch her phone. She says if i receive calls with her phone, her credit will finish!

goldenpat:

My mum does not allow me to touch her phone. She says if i receive calls with her phone, her credit will finish!

God bless Nigeria. no matter what we are one hell of a happy ppl.

1. It was Christmas and my dad offered us soft drinks, we were so expectant of the fun being our first time of ever touching it. We rushed the crate and quickly opened three bottles, lo and behold, it was tonic fanta! I don't know what kid will drink that. We couldn't tell my dad why we didn't drink it despite our initial enthusiasm.

2. We planned a night party to declare open my dad's new house only for my dad to ask at the zero that "I hope you guys are not planning on bringing girls into this house?" It wasn't funny, we canceled the party and disappeared to avoid being lynched by party hungry friends.

MY DAD- hmmmm.

1. He never wanted us to watch the video cassete player in his absence(God knows why). He would remove the player from the living room to his bedroom, Carefully keep it and draw on a sheet of paper, a diagram of the positioning of the electricity cable running from the machine, then hide the paper somewhere. when he returns, he will use the diagram to see if the cable is still in the position he left it. If yes- that means we never touched it. If no, we get some serious flogging. One day we stumbled on the diagram book and since that time, he never flogged us again, cos we would use it and arrange it back using the diagram.

2. He never wanted anyone to touch his car especially wheneva he travelled, so he would use charcoal to mark the tyre positions. upon his return, he would check to see if the car was still parked within the marks he made. When we discovered, we would cruise the car well well, park it anyhow, clean his own marks and make new marks whereva we park it

i just dont understand why we must always eat rice on sunday

do u guys remember this one
the analog telephone that NITEL started with, that can be locked
when my dad is going out he would lock it and go with the keys
but when we learnt how to tap our nubmers, he just wonder why we dont bother him about the telephone any more until the bills came

TheSaintz:

do u guys remember this one
the analog telephone that NITEL started with, that can be locked
when my dad is going out he would lock it and go with the keys
but when we learnt how to tap our nubmers, he just wonder why we dont bother him about the telephone any more until the bills came

Oh my gosh my mum told me she use to do that , but my granny found out she did it, she plugged out the phone then kept it in her bag.

i remember one day my dad sent me on an errand, on my way going i kicked my leg so badly on the stair case
and it really hurt me dat i had 2 limb my way foward my dad seeing wat happened only responded by telling me
"my frnd make sure u dont break that stair case oh" immediately every thing changed i cudnt laugh or cry

i remebr when we were young and we were going for evening church programe, we alwaz walk to church cuz its nt far from our house den we wud b figting who would hold my mums hand cuz we r three, wen 1 takes d left, 2 r left wth d rite so we wud b fightin seriously on d road so my mum said mayb she shud ask get 3 hands

den wen we r goin out u wud just see one of us run seriously to d car, den sit in front and lock d door while d remain 2 of us wud b biting our tongue dat we r not so smart. ironically, now no body loves d front seat cuz u ve to wear a seat belt and its less room.

so much fun growin up

i remember when we were young and we were going for evening church programe, we alwaz walk to church cuz its nt far from our house den we wud b figting who would hold my mums hand cuz we r three, wen 1 takes d left, 2 r left wth d rite so we wud b fightin seriously on d road so my mum said mayb she shud ask get 3 hands

den wen we r goin out u wud just see one of us run seriously to d car, den sit in front and lock d door while d remain 2 of us wud b biting our tongue dat we r not so smart. ironically, now no body loves d front seat cuz u ve to wear a seat belt and its less room.

so much fun growin up

my dad would always brag of how he caught my mum
that my mum was the hottest chick back in those days
and that her shakara was too much
sometimes he feel like slapping her for all the hard times she gave him
he would say'' look at her now she is in my house''
in his presence my mum would say that she just pitied him
but when he is not around my mum will say that
'' u dad was really handsome in those days and all the ladies wanted him badly''

but when we ask her that ''why do u keep saying to him that u pitied him''
she will say u people better shut up otherwise,

and ofcourse she is the margareth thatcher of the house but my dad ever sweet and gentle

i can remember that we had this china mug in the house
and anytime anyone comes close to it my mum will shout '' u better be careful o, that mug is older than u''
my dad will just shake his head
sometimes she will go '' oh this mug why dont u just break and go, u have tried o jare''

and then one faithful day while holding it on the balcony and my parents sitting outside the house
it fell and landed just in front of my mum
she yell like i had killed someone and gave me the beating of my life, it took my dad to rescue me

months after the incident my dad jokingly talked about it (refering to the mug as her first love)
she was mad '' that my dad had planned it with me to get rid of the mug
and this time it took God to prevent me from getting another pounding

very funny responses.

reminds me of the day I and my Mum went to visit my granny.
she had an argument with my Mum and next minute, she came out with a kobo to flog my Mum.
we had to escape through the back door. scary!

and when my grand dad's gun was missing, she was so mad.
she said she was going to learn how to shoot it before it was stolen. "if any of these armed robber come, i was going to open the window and shoot out a round!". she was 70 then.

wow, may her soul rest in peace.

i remember wen i was about 5 and my mom had just had a baby, i went to her saying i wanted my own kid and how did she do it.
she said she just prays with daddy and God gives her a child, i went and grabbed my older brother and made him pray with me, after 3 days, without a kid ofcourse, i oncluded she was lying.

who remembers how wen u get moeny wen ure young and ur mom asks to keep it for you, u never see ur money again and wen u ask, u either get 'the look' or it was used to buy something for u, lol

in my house, my mom was the boss(still is) dad was the nicer one(still is), if we want something or want to go out, we ask daddy, he says, if we dont ask mummy and get an agreement, we aint going nowhere!

whenever momsie was travelling, we could hardly wait to see her go and when she comes back, no one's really excited. when popsie travels, we are sad, and wen he comes back, eveyrone is all smiles and happy.
she confessed to us later(after we had all grown up) that it made her sad, cos she thought we all loved our dad and didnt like her. lol
well thing is, no kid likes being shouted on or beat so until u grow up, we all think of our moms as terrors.