Yeepii! its Friday.

I decide to share this funny relationship quotes by the one only Africa oldest leader, Robert Mugabe.

Enjoy...

Robert Mugabe Quotes On Relationships And Lifestyle:


1. Dear ladies, if your boyfriend didn’t wish you a happy Mother’s Day or sing Sweet Mother for you, you should stop breastfeeding him.


2. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don’t walk around with X-rays to see inner beauty.

3. If you have attended over 100 weddings in your life and are still single, you are not different from a canopy.

4. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana, is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father.

5. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a ‘girlfriend’.

6. Dear sisters, don’t be deceived by a man who texts you “I miss you” only when it’s raining, because you are not an umbrella.

7. If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you don’t need to call those things “your breasts”. It’s called COW BELL, OUR MILK! Repeat after me, OUR MILK!

8. It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.

9. All I hear always is, ‘No sex before marriage?’ If that was God’s plan, then you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day.

10. Men sucking lady’s breast is normal because the act was learnt in childhood when they were young but the act of lady’s sucking men’s d*ck is what baffles me. Where did they learn it from?

11. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw Adidas lines on your face.

12. Respect pregnant women because it’s not easy walking around with evidence that you’ve had sex.

13. Some of the girls of today can’t even jog for five minutes but they expect a guy to last in bed with you for two hours? Your level of selfishness demands a one-week crusade.

14. I stopped trusting ladies when my class three girlfriend left me for another boy all because he bought a sharpener with a mirror.

15. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a “broke” man who’s extremely good in bed.

16. Witchcraft is when a 24-year-old girl. who cannot jog for five minutes expects a 40-year-old man to last for one hour in bed.

17. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst thing ever, because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become emotional.

18. Women with beauty and no brains, it is your private parts that will suffer the most.


19. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real.

If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to schoolgirls, just buy your wife a school uniform.

21. It is every man’s dream to remove a woman’s pant one day but NOT when it’s on a drying line.

22. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newlywed wife but lately, there’s nothing as such any longer because it’ll have already been given out as a Birthday gift, token of Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection, Examination marking schemes and for Lorry fares!”

21. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.

22. We are living in a generation where people “in love” are free to touch each others’ private parts but cannot touch each others’ phones because they’re “private”.

23. My dear ladies, please don’t buy a selfie stick when your armpit itself needs a shaving stick.

24. It’s better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she didn’t drill.


25. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum & you realise witchcraft is real

iamJ:
without his ugly, old chicken face it wouldnt be funny


Friday time to burn some cash

Even lalasticlala and mynd44 will laugh at these quotes