Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,425 members, 7,819,539 topics. Date: Monday, 06 May 2024 at 05:46 PM

The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. (26797 Views)

What’s The Hardest Part About Marriage That No One Ever Talks About? / Things I Saw In A Coded Bar/motel, Bothering Me About Marriage! / What's Your Biggest Fear About Marriage? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by ivolt: 11:47am On Oct 12, 2017
It is all about choice.
Don't marry someone who is not compatible with your worldview in the hope
that you will force them to change.

Your threats may work for a while but it will ultimately fail.
There is nothing wrong with some women thinking that marriage is the ultimate
achievement neither is it an abomination for some women to pursue financial independence,
it doesn't make any of the two group less of a woman.

It is a great injustice to try to force someone to live by your own standard.

2 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 11:48am On Oct 12, 2017
sirusX:
To each his own

Marriage doesn’t limit one’s creativity or zeal for achievement

In fact it increases it if your with the right person

Selfish interest is what kills today’s marriages I love you but.......anything after that but is usually a selfish reason. I don’t want to get married for marrying sake we get married because we want to build a life together with someone we want to share it with

Keyword share no nonsense behaviors

2 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by komododragons: 11:48am On Oct 12, 2017
NiggaBoi:
I have come across a sizeable number of ladies and I always love engaging them in different types of conversations. I'm a person that's so focused about making a good living for myself so I'm always interested in seeing everyone around me successful and doing great. But it really breaks my heart every time I ask my female friends what they picture their future like.

The first thing they always talk about is getting married. They got me thinking and I got to understand why. The average African girl has been brought up with the mentality that marriage is the greatest achievement for them. That's why we have a lot of females feeding off men and depending on them for everything.

Our society not having enough independent females is one of the major causes of abuse of women. I'm always happy when I see females excelling and doing well in their various career paths and family life. But I guess the mentality of viewing marriage as the greatest achievement for a female has to be abolished. Our society will be better if we have as much successful females as their male counterparts.

My name is Ola, and I'm a male feminist.

Pls the mods should help me push this to FP.
in Africa women don't what to work but to use their yansh as leverage to gain.

so I won't blame women if there husbands beat The hell out of them or use them as piece of shiit cos that's what them portray themselves for the very beginning.

3 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Apogee14: 11:51am On Oct 12, 2017
Adaumunocha:
D only African society that I know of that is matriarchal is Ghana...
really ? didnt liberia just have a female president ? who controls the house in african homes ? the mother. she has power over the father sef. its a matriarchal society. this whole feminism thing is just you black people doing oyinbo copy copy after you had access to the internet and access to oyinbo lifestyle. now you want to copy their feminism. like in every african home it is the mother always laying down the law for the children and for the house. go ask anybody who grew up in africa who they feared the most, mummy or daddy ?

2 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by oyetpel(m): 11:51am On Oct 12, 2017
Apogee14:
african women dont need feminism. feminism is a western concept because western societies are patriarchal. african societies are matriarchal so its insane to even suggest feminism

How is African societies Matriarchal?

2 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Apogee14: 11:51am On Oct 12, 2017
Apogee14:
really ? didnt liberia just have a female president ? who controls the house in african homes ? the mother. she has power over the father sef. its a matriarchal society. this whole feminism thing is just you black people doing oyinbo copy copy after you had access to the internet and access to oyinbo lifestyle. now you want to copy their feminism. like in every african home it is the mother always laying down the law for the children and for the house. go ask anybody who grew up in africa who they feared the most, mummy or daddy ?
oyetpel:


How is African societies Matriarchal?

1 Like

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by youngRx(m): 11:51am On Oct 12, 2017
even Chimamanda one of the greatest feminist of her time is happilly married....and she is still pursuing her career to the fullest.

1 Like

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by SlayQueenSlayer(m): 11:51am On Oct 12, 2017
NiggaBoi:
I have come across a sizeable number of ladies and I always love engaging them in different types of conversations. I'm a person that's so focused about making a good living for myself so I'm always interested in seeing everyone around me successful and doing great. But it really breaks my heart every time I ask my female friends what they picture their future like.

The first thing they always talk about is getting married. They got me thinking and I got to understand why. The average African girl has been brought up with the mentality that marriage is the greatest achievement for them. That's why we have a lot of females feeding off men and depending on them for everything.

Our society not having enough independent females is one of the major causes of abuse of women. I'm always happy when I see females excelling and doing well in their various career paths and family life. But I guess the mentality of viewing marriage as the greatest achievement for a female has to be abolished. Our society will be better if we have as much successful females as their male counterparts.

My name is Ola, and I'm a male feminist.

Pls the mods should help me push this to FP.

There is no such thing as "male feminist". A feminist a person(male or female) who supports feminism.

1 Like

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Apogee14: 11:51am On Oct 12, 2017
Pavore9:


Humanity is evolving.
more like devolving

1 Like

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by YelloweWest: 11:51am On Oct 12, 2017
Brugo:
Marriage is an achievement to those who view it as so. Don't condemn them.

A girl who grew up in a functional home where the father provides leadership and finance would see it as an achievement to marry someone like her dad.

Also, a poverty stricken but beautiful lady is often inclined to view marriage (to a rich guy) as an achievement even though her only asset is her good looks.
Havi g a child is the greatest thing that can happen to many young women.
The only proper way to have a child is through marriage!

1 Like

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Longeaton: 11:53am On Oct 12, 2017
Male feminist! like what the Bleep?
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 11:55am On Oct 12, 2017
My name is Ola and I'm a cuck. undecided lipsrsealed

2 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by mustafa006: 11:57am On Oct 12, 2017
so what makes you think that happy marriage is not the biggest achievement of a woman
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Adaumunocha(f): 11:58am On Oct 12, 2017
Apogee14:
really ? didnt liberia just have a female president ? who controls the house in african homes ? the mother. she has power over the father sef. its a matriarchal society. this whole feminism thing is just you black people doing oyinbo copy copy after you had access to the internet and access to oyinbo lifestyle. now you want to copy their feminism. like in every african home it is the mother always laying down the law for the children and for the house. go ask anybody who grew up in africa who they feared the most, mummy or daddy ?
Your post is kinda contradictive. Matriarchy & feminism go hand in hand. Do u actually understand what feminism is about?

2 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 11:59am On Oct 12, 2017
youngRx:
even Chimamanda one of the greatest feminist of her time is happilly married....and she is still pursuing her career to the fullest.


Married to which race?
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by elantraceey(f): 12:02pm On Oct 12, 2017
You need to change your cycle of girlfriends
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Apogee14: 12:04pm On Oct 12, 2017
Adaumunocha:
Your post is kinda contradictive. Matriarchy & feminism go hand in hand. Do u actually understand what feminism is about?
whats contradictory ? am saying in a matriarchal society you do not need feminism. feminism is an ideal born out of women feeling oppressed. in a matriarchal society women are not oppressed so you dont need feminism.

1 Like

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by kadara2041: 12:04pm On Oct 12, 2017
NiggaBoi:
I acknowledge that it's a general ideal that the woman is subservient to man almost throughout the world. But wouldn't the purpose of getting an education be defeated if every female were to choose marriage over a potential glowing career? Why then should they go through the rigors of getting an education in the first place?

It is not a general idea. If you follow the bible teaching then the woman is under the man. She must be subservient to the man
Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 12:06pm On Oct 12, 2017
Afam4eva:

A lot of women have become educated and are pulling their weight just as much as men are, so it's their prerogative of an individual basis to decide what they want to do with their life. Contrary to feminist shenanigans, women are more likely to want to be subservient and cared for. This maybe due to either their nature or a learned skill from patriarchy. Even here in Nigeria, a lot of women who are highly educated are not afraid to leave a career they would have had in a heartbeat for marriage. While some others will pursue career to the detriment of marriage and family. it's a case of personal choice and we should allow people to make their life choices.
you seem not to understand the OP's point. He is not talking well to do women who have put their success first. He is talking of an average lady sitting somewhere waiting for one rich man to marry her, so she can perhaps live on the man... two different context.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 12:07pm On Oct 12, 2017
Afam4eva:
We're brought up to have divergent views on life. While some think education is paramount, others think that without marriage, they're not fulfilled. We should not always try to force our school on thought on other people. [b]Not every woman will be financially independent. So, let's leave those who think marriage is su[/b]preme to follow their heart.
this is s very wrong thought. Each individual should strive to take responsibilities for their lives... this is one reason we are here!

1 Like

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nov6(m): 12:08pm On Oct 12, 2017
Adaumunocha:
Marriage does not stop any lady from fulfilling their career dreams pls.
The society has nothing to do with one being melancholic over seeing their mate with their husbands and kids... I don't think that void is socially inspired.


now i agree with my spirit about you
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Trottle: 12:08pm On Oct 12, 2017
Apogee14:
more like devolving

Or even better; "degradingly evolving".

1 Like

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Apogee14: 12:09pm On Oct 12, 2017
Trottle:


Or even better; "degradingly evolving".
aptly put

2 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Trottle: 12:10pm On Oct 12, 2017
Longeaton:
Male feminist! like what the Bleep?
grin grin He still wants to retain his Masculine prestige now cheesy
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Tedpgrass: 12:10pm On Oct 12, 2017
women should be allowed to make their choices.... but are those choices well-informed or is there a guarantee of societal support for those choices regardless of outcome

those are the driving forces behind choices.
A society where merit or talent is underrated as compared to the use of underhand. methods which contribute to the ideals of nepotism, with an underlying background of poverty and lack of enlightenment/ education, this is to be expected!!!

Throw in the unfair natural procreation time. limitation...its an uneasy balance..


Solutions are not far off .

Internet availability, celebration of the girl child through a change in social mindsets/ behaviours, availability of sperm or egg banks for retrieval and ART at a time suitable to the woman!!

These and many more will change this mindset releasing a significant economic benefit.. Something politicians and pubic administrators should start to explore!!
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 12:10pm On Oct 12, 2017
There is nothing wrong with a woman desiring marriage so much, it's her life. She should be successful at it.
Same goes to the one who desires career more.

What I am yet to understand is why Nigerian males speak from both sides of the mouth. I stumbled on a thread talking about desperation of ladies to get married. Then the ones that are not desperate are tagged feminist.

You see, you can't please people.
Just do what works for you.
If you can handle both at the same time, good!
If you can't, take it one step at a time.

3 Likes

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by kadara2041: 12:10pm On Oct 12, 2017
NiggaBoi:
Well, I have no other choice than to submit to your well constructed response. The whole thing that I'm preaching here is the understanding of the concept of choice. Seems like many female children in our society nowadays are not aware of the choice because the society says so.
I think many female children look at the reality of the country and make the wise decision to take the line of least resistance. Why struggle and strain when someone can do it for you. Come to think of it women were borne to help man Genesis 2:18 18Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."

So niggaboi allow the women to fulfill the destiny made for them by God
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Adaumunocha(f): 12:10pm On Oct 12, 2017
Apogee14:
whats contradictory ? am saying in a matriarchal society you do not need feminism. feminism is an ideal born out of women feeling oppressed. in a matriarchal society women are not oppressed so you dont need feminism.
But Nigeria is not a matriarchal society... Women are oppressed here so we need feminism... Hope u know we have different types of feminism

1 Like

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Pearl005(f): 12:11pm On Oct 12, 2017
Marriage is what it is to different people, depending on background, personality, enclosure and other factors.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nov6(m): 12:11pm On Oct 12, 2017
[quote author=SmartyPants post=61346942]So what exactly is the philosophy of male feminism?[/quote

i asked my self exactly the same question
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Adaumunocha(f): 12:12pm On Oct 12, 2017
Nov6:



now i agree with my spirit about you
OK o

1 Like

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by naija2(f): 12:12pm On Oct 12, 2017
NiggaBoi:
Well, I have no other choice than to submit to your well constructed response. The whole thing that I'm preaching here is the understanding of the concept of choice. Seems like many female children in our society nowadays are not aware of the choice because the society says so.

some know they have the choice, they are educated to know what they want for themselves but the society and their parents have a louder voice even if it is unspoken. That stops them from making that choice, it stops them from saying what is truly in their hearts. that's where you see those that are tired just few months after their wedding and with the smallest of misbehaviour from their husbands, they call for divorce. They still don't know it takes a lot to be married and get into it with much depression in them. they end up hating their husbands, they end up cheating and probably divorce at the end of the day. But, the truth is that over 80 percent aspire to marriage.

1 Like

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (Reply)

My Husband Wants To Use Me For Money Rituals / Have You Seen Treasure Ofuya / 2 Men Lay Claims To A Baby Boy In Edo (Pictures, Video)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 63
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.