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How To Recover From A Broken Heart. - Romance - Nairaland

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How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by jaksmillioniar: 4:40pm On Oct 11, 2017
Romantic love is mystical and magical — permeating every aspect of mind, body and spirit until you are completely consumed.The intensity of the attraction, the depths of the desire, and the power of the passion are simultaneously exhilarating, intoxicating and terrifying. Tremendous courageis a prerequisite for the awesome vulnerability of opening up your heart, body and soul for love.When that love is not reciprocated or sustained, it can be devastatingly sad, like a death.Like a flower that yearns for the sun until it blossoms completely, until every last petal drops, heartbreak leaves you feeling turned inside out. Not having your love reciprocated or being rejected can trigger a grief response thatmirrors a depressive episode. Symptoms may include difficulty sleeping, changes in appetite, sadness, apathy, hopelessness and sometimes even loss of the will to live.The heartbroken often struggle with feelings of powerlessness; frustration that it’s not within their control to make things theway they want.Many internalize the rejection of a break-up to mean that they are somehow not worthy, not capable of a sustaining relationship, or not lovable on a deeper level. This self-loathing can take root and cause a pessimistic view of the future, igniting panic and despair that love may never be found again.Many people seek therapy to remedy a broken heart.In treatment, we try to understandand analyze our love relationships.Are we recreating old patterns? Filling a void? Addicted to love? Seeking ego validation? Dysfunctional? Delusional? Naive? Insane?Perhaps. Or maybe we are just human and subject to the forces of love.Recovery from heartbreak is much like processing grief, so we go through the following stages:*.Denial(“This can’t be the end, I’m sure he will call.”)*.Anger(“I hate her.”)*.Bargaining(“Maybe if I behaved differently, it would work.”)*.Depression(“I never want to love again so I never feel this pain again.”)*.Acceptance(“It was. And now, it is over.”)

1) Know your love and feelings were real.Just because it didn’t last doesn’t mean it wasn’t real or true. You’re not crazy, foolish, wrong or delusional.
2)Understand love is always a gift.Love is a blessing even if it ends painfully, for heartbreak bears great wisdom.
3) Consider that all things happen and people come into our lives for a reason.Eckhart Tolle says, “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of yourconsciousness.” A relationship that ends is not a mistake or failure.
4) Stay in the present.Don’t ruminate about the past or second guess your actions. Don’t worry about the future. (“Will he find somebody else? Will that relationship be better?”) Stay out of your head,for that is a dangerous place to go. Practice mindfulness techniques like deep breathing and meditation. Imagine breathing in what you need (strength, hope, energy) and out what you don’t (pain, aches,sadness).
5) Release feelings of anger, hatred and thoughts of revenge.Understand this are all related to ego and cause you more harm than good. Anger exacerbates anxiety and depression, keeps us tethered and prevents us from moving forward. As Nelson Mandela said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies.” In a moment of quiet, repeat the mantra, “I forgive and release you and let you go.”
6) Let go of the attachment or connection.Don’t be a whack-a-mole and repeatedly poke your head up for rejection from the object of your affection. As Mark Twain said, “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” Care enough about yourself to conserve yourenergy for those who deserve it, starting with yourself!
7) Get support. Talk to friends and family who are empathic and kind. Tell them specifically what you need from them. If your friends are tired of your broken record, consider therapy or a support group. Getimmediate help if feeling so depressed you are suicidal.
cool Know you are lovable.Do not misinterpret the end of a relationship as meaning you aresomehow not enough. Sometimes people aren’t capable of giving us the love weneed and deserve, which is theirissue and not yours. You are exactly as you should be and are perfectly lovable just the way you are.
9) Practice self-love.Recognize masochistic and self-harm behaviors (not eating, substance abuse, risky behaviors, etc.) and nip them in the bud. As Buddha said, “You yourself, as much as anybody inthe entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Stick to structure and routine and getproper rest, nutrition and exercise. Don’t isolate yourself or your depression will take a deeper hold on you.
10) Know this too shall pass.Putone foot in front of the other and time will heal your wounds. Even if you can’t imagine feeling better or being open to love again, you most certainly will. In my practice, I have been awed and amazed by the resiliency of the human spirit.“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it...” — Jakandeola

1 Like

Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Adaumunocha(f): 4:43pm On Oct 11, 2017
Gberu sokale...lolz
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by IamSINZ(m): 4:43pm On Oct 11, 2017
Chai! Nice blog smiley
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Donaldduke2019(m): 4:49pm On Oct 11, 2017
Good blog.....seun please fp asap

1 Share

Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by jaksmillioniar: 4:56pm On Oct 11, 2017
laveda sinaj ginaz genea sexybbstar ireneony optional1 ishilove safarigirl yarimo geekybabe lalas247 tossie101 vizkiz and rosieluv rosalieene madgoat retiredmumu ikp120 chumzypinky skarlett lastmumu lilyqueeny florblu joy1706 subtlemee myfantasies fluxbush hibiscus76 attackgat sarrki sleekyshuga nne5 leprezident cleopatra4 rukkydelta cerowo dollyjoy biafrabushboy dingbang sinz shinarlaura makydebbie ifakiland kinginvagina mhisbliss feenandowski khiaa

1 Like

Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Nobody: 4:56pm On Oct 11, 2017
Lalasticlala modify the Op's English.
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by jaksmillioniar: 5:03pm On Oct 11, 2017
menstrualpad trustyshoess lewaluv lovelygurl jennyofoldstones missraine69 misscongeniality arabiandude horlolah jodha decomaniaboss lawlahdey and lsofdk maxi112 adewumiopeyemi amarabae joyberry lionessza shurley22 shinarlaura pweetyjuddy refiner tosyne2much ladyjumong divay22 bibijay123 obontami huee omotayor123 tamarapretty helenbee
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Nobody: 5:04pm On Oct 11, 2017
EzeEbira:
Lalasticlala modify the Op's English.
cheesy cheesy
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by jaksmillioniar: 5:07pm On Oct 11, 2017
Medunah(f),purpleprincess,Jodha(f),Samadict(f),adewumiopeyemi(m),kennygee(f),hibiscus76(f),Kosy79(f),Amarabae(f),Misypee(f),cutestcuty84(f),mhizesther(f),ikombe,Jessicaseth(f),Nickymezor(f),Julietcutie(f),Shamstiel,Hadez(f),HenryDion,cerowo(f),Damsexy18(f),safarigirl(f),vivypretty(f),omosefeeguaibor(f),remmyton(f),Culin(f),zhiiee(f),Shugah(f),Tynasparks(f),dominique(f),shinarlaura(f),Mikylopez(f),Barristertemmie(f),Juliaann(f),Sandydayziz(f),Aniker(f),nnowu(f),mofeoluwadassah
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Sleyanya1(m): 5:16pm On Oct 11, 2017
smiley
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Florblu(f): 6:02pm On Oct 11, 2017
Op please space this write up.It will help us read
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Divay22(f): 6:13pm On Oct 11, 2017
Who's suffering from heartbreak sad.
Not me
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by mofeoluwadassah: 6:25pm On Oct 11, 2017
why did you call me here?bros
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Nobody: 7:27pm On Oct 11, 2017
Interesting blog
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by jaksmillioniar: 7:38pm On Oct 11, 2017
Divay22:
Who's suffering from heartbreak sad.
Not me
a guy neva dump u before
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Stevengerd(m): 7:40pm On Oct 11, 2017
Oya Blog Dem... jekan mo!!!
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by jaksmillioniar: 7:40pm On Oct 11, 2017
NoFavors:
Interesting blog
tnx guy
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Neimar: 8:02pm On Oct 11, 2017
abeg e tu long

u nr sabi summarize grin
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Nobody: 8:19pm On Oct 11, 2017
Jakan the blog king (oba blogger) ..nice blog bro
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Dillusionist(m): 8:28pm On Oct 11, 2017
nice
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Rukkydelta(f): 8:52pm On Oct 11, 2017
This is nice
Kudos Jake
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Kimcutie: 8:54pm On Oct 11, 2017
Rukkydelta:
This is nice
Kudos Jake
What's nice? undecided
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Kimcutie: 8:57pm On Oct 11, 2017
I just dey see "nice blog" please where is the blog
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Rukkydelta(f): 8:59pm On Oct 11, 2017
Kimcutie:
What's nice? undecided
Mind your business
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Keketu(m): 9:03pm On Oct 11, 2017
Rukkydelta:
Mind your business
mind your business too ponto angry
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Rukkydelta(f): 9:07pm On Oct 11, 2017
Keketu:
mind your business too ponto angry
Go away
Don't talk to me anymore
You have being enemy zoned
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Lalas247(f): 9:26pm On Oct 11, 2017
Fantastic piece of writing grin
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by shinarlaura(f): 10:17pm On Oct 11, 2017
Nice write up
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Kimcutie: 10:48pm On Oct 11, 2017
Rukkydelta:

Mind your business
Sorry. cry
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by Jodha(f): 9:23pm On Oct 22, 2017
The niggur wey go break my heart has not been born yet....
Re: How To Recover From A Broken Heart. by CU902: 4:59pm On Apr 06, 2018
jaksmillioniar:
Romantic love is mystical and magical — permeating every aspect of mind, body and spirit until you are completely consumed.The intensity of the attraction, the depths of the desire, and the power of the passion are simultaneously exhilarating, intoxicating and terrifying. Tremendous courageis a prerequisite for the awesome vulnerability of opening up your heart, body and soul for love.When that love is not reciprocated or sustained, it can be devastatingly sad, like a death.Like a flower that yearns for the sun until it blossoms completely, until every last petal drops, heartbreak leaves you feeling turned inside out. Not having your love reciprocated or being rejected can trigger a grief response thatmirrors a depressive episode. Symptoms may include difficulty sleeping, changes in appetite, sadness, apathy, hopelessness and sometimes even loss of the will to live.The heartbroken often struggle with feelings of powerlessness; frustration that it’s not within their control to make things theway they want.Many internalize the rejection of a break-up to mean that they are somehow not worthy, not capable of a sustaining relationship, or not lovable on a deeper level. This self-loathing can take root and cause a pessimistic view of the future, igniting panic and despair that love may never be found again.Many people seek therapy to remedy a broken heart.In treatment, we try to understandand analyze our love relationships.Are we recreating old patterns? Filling a void? Addicted to love? Seeking ego validation? Dysfunctional? Delusional? Naive? Insane?Perhaps. Or maybe we are just human and subject to the forces of love.Recovery from heartbreak is much like processing grief, so we go through the following stages:*.Denial(“This can’t be the end, I’m sure he will call.”)*.Anger(“I hate her.”)*.Bargaining(“Maybe if I behaved differently, it would work.”)*.Depression(“I never want to love again so I never feel this pain again.”)*.Acceptance(“It was. And now, it is over.”)

1) Know your love and feelings were real.Just because it didn’t last doesn’t mean it wasn’t real or true. You’re not crazy, foolish, wrong or delusional.
2)Understand love is always a gift.Love is a blessing even if it ends painfully, for heartbreak bears great wisdom.
3) Consider that all things happen and people come into our lives for a reason.Eckhart Tolle says, “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of yourconsciousness.” A relationship that ends is not a mistake or failure.
4) Stay in the present.Don’t ruminate about the past or second guess your actions. Don’t worry about the future. (“Will he find somebody else? Will that relationship be better?”) Stay out of your head,for that is a dangerous place to go. Practice mindfulness techniques like deep breathing and meditation. Imagine breathing in what you need (strength, hope, energy) and out what you don’t (pain, aches,sadness).
5) Release feelings of anger, hatred and thoughts of revenge.Understand this are all related to ego and cause you more harm than good. Anger exacerbates anxiety and depression, keeps us tethered and prevents us from moving forward. As Nelson Mandela said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies.” In a moment of quiet, repeat the mantra, “I forgive and release you and let you go.”
6) Let go of the attachment or connection.Don’t be a whack-a-mole and repeatedly poke your head up for rejection from the object of your affection. As Mark Twain said, “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” Care enough about yourself to conserve yourenergy for those who deserve it, starting with yourself!
7) Get support. Talk to friends and family who are empathic and kind. Tell them specifically what you need from them. If your friends are tired of your broken record, consider therapy or a support group. Getimmediate help if feeling so depressed you are suicidal.
cool Know you are lovable.Do not misinterpret the end of a relationship as meaning you aresomehow not enough. Sometimes people aren’t capable of giving us the love weneed and deserve, which is theirissue and not yours. You are exactly as you should be and are perfectly lovable just the way you are.
9) Practice self-love.Recognize masochistic and self-harm behaviors (not eating, substance abuse, risky behaviors, etc.) and nip them in the bud. As Buddha said, “You yourself, as much as anybody inthe entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Stick to structure and routine and getproper rest, nutrition and exercise. Don’t isolate yourself or your depression will take a deeper hold on you.
10) Know this too shall pass.Putone foot in front of the other and time will heal your wounds. Even if you can’t imagine feeling better or being open to love again, you most certainly will. In my practice, I have been awed and amazed by the resiliency of the human spirit.“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it...” — Jakandeola
nice write up. I like Eckhart Tolle and would like to have a conversation with any one who is interested in Eckhart or any spiritual author. you can reach me at 09068448991 or 080137392834

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