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YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) - Literature - Nairaland

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YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Tobillionaire19: 5:04pm On Oct 16, 2017
Ding! Ding!! Ding!! The alarm rang out loud for the umpteenth time, I tossed and turned again, I had set it so I could wake early, after downing several green bottles the night before, I knew I was going to be ridden with a hangover.

It's the ritual on Friday nights, going out with the boys, I'm an alcoholic and so are my friends, Abbey and Ray. Sometime we could be more, each of us bringing other acquaintance or mutual friends, but it's mostly the three of us hanging out together.

We had gone to Shibbies bar to have fun as usual, we planned to later visit O degree lounge at surulere, but something happened and we reach an unanimous decision to settle for Shibbies and drink the night away.

My thoughts ran wild through the past night and my head felt too heavy for my neck.

" Bleep" I cursed under my breath and quickly covered my nose from the stench emanating from my mouth as I yawned.

That propelled me to roll down from the bed and put off the alarm that was now disturbing my peace and further fueling the mild migraine I was feeling.

I strolled into the bathroom, and spread a large quantity of toothpaste on my brush , I started brushing my teeth hard like a dirty rug that hasn't been washed in years.

While doing that the event of last night came rushing back again and I try to remember why I had set the alarm in the first place.

Abbey, Ray and I were on our fifth bottles of Heineken when Ray stood up and said he wanted to take a leak.

" you wan use style go talk that babe that has been eyeing me shey" Abbey joked and a naughty grin enveloped his oblong shaped face.

I chuckled and looked in the direction of the damsels, I've noticed them since we stepped into the bar but my seat was inversely opposite their table so I couldn't see much of the things they were up to.

There was a cake on their table and it was obvious one of them was celebrating her birthday. Ray shrugged at Abbeys joke and headed towards the toilet located at the far end of the building, as if on purpose to spite Abbey, he changed his strides and walked to the table of the ladies.

I smiled and anticipate his next move, Ray has always been a smooth talker and I know for sure our table will be merged with the girls own sooner rather than later. He has done this all too many times.

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Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Tobillionaire19: 5:05pm On Oct 16, 2017
5 comments and I'll drip the next chapter, trust me this is one interesting piece and I'm commited to delivering updates as long as I see interests

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Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by phemmizjay(m): 5:11pm On Oct 16, 2017
bla bla blah

1 Like

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Tobillionaire19: 5:12pm On Oct 16, 2017
kalu61, Preetiex, abubakarbabang7, ADECULATE, Creeza, queenitee, jagugu88li, inkdbetty, MichaelBlake40, Dhavido, Lawlahdey, Grendel, SenatorPope, mjay05, Didov1, MariamAlheri, xamiel4, Louisefaye, YINKS89, Cjizzy, leepest, WILLIAMSKECH, Chrismarvel, Jekonmor, HelenBee, Jesutourmewer, Criis.
Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Nobody: 5:32pm On Oct 16, 2017
Tobillionaire19:
kalu61, Preetiex, abubakarbabang7, ADECULATE, Creeza, queenitee, jagugu88li, inkdbetty, MichaelBlake40, Dhavido, Lawlahdey, Grendel, SenatorPope, mjay05, Didov1, MariamAlheri, xamiel4, Louisefaye, YINKS89, Cjizzy, leepest, WILLIAMSKECH, Chrismarvel, Jekonmor, HelenBee, Jesutourmewer, Criis.
thanks for d mention,i hope u wont starve us sha

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Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Tobillionaire19: 6:39pm On Oct 16, 2017
I snapped out of my reverie as the bristles of the brush punctured my gum, I cried inaudibly, rushed to the front of mirror and opened my mouth to check how much damaged I've done.

I figured I have drawn blood, and walked back to the sink to rinse my mouth, I don't care whether my mouth reeks and stink of alcohol residue anymore, I was pissed.

My phone rang, and I sluggishly walk back into the room, I wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody now, besides who call people as early as 6:30 in the morning, if it wasn't for the alarm I would still be sleeping for sure.

The call had disconnected before I got to the bed to pick it, but I cared less, I rubbed my palms together and wiped my mouth subconsciously in case there was a toothpaste stain.

I was about to stand up and go get water from the fridge when my phone begin to ring again, I picked up the Samsung S6 and saw it was Ray calling, i slid the answer button and was about to tell him to call me back, but before I could even utter a word he had already started talking about the previous night.

I gave up and listened with little attention as he kept blabbing and yabbing me on how I had been drunk at Shibbies, relaying things I did and said, the ones I remembered and the ones I couldn't even fathom why I would say or do.

" Idiot, na so you dey do, weak ass niqqa, you wey no sabi as you reach your house sef " I had heard Abbey yelled in the background.

I cursed him back and we all began laughing together. I concede to them about fucking up and hid under my popular phrase that I drink for the purpose of getting high and drunk, and we all laughed again.

" So did you call me to remind me I had too much to drink last night or what? " I questioned Ray squeezing my face as if it would show through the call that I was serious then.

" Well it's one of the reasons and on my bad days you would do worse Bayo " he replied, a faint chuckle escaping the phone earpiece. I sighed and asked him to tell me the main reason he's calling because I feel like drinking cold water and going back to bed.

He yabbed me some more, with Abbey taking swipes at me as I could hear him faintly in the background still, I had put the phone on loud speaker and was gulping down a chilled bottled water I had gotten from the fridge.

When he'd had enough of me, he told me with a serious tone he would be in my house in 2 hours time and I better be ready. Immediately he said that I remembered why I had set the alarm.

" Damn! shayo na bastard oo, did you know I've totally forgotten about the party until you called now, I would have been in bed till now if I didn't set the alarm" I told Ray while scratching my head.

" Well, better get your acts together, we need to be on the road in the next two hours and remember the girls from Shibbies last night? " He asked

" Yes, I do and don't start saying things I did and didn't do yesterday night again, what about them? " I said, rolling my eyes and hoping he's not trying to start throwing bants on my drunken episode again.

" Well I got Lucy's number, the celebrant gan gan- " he managed to say before I interrupted him.

" Yeah I know and stop relaying things to me like I have amnesia, I was only high, what about her? " I asked impatiently this time, thinking of how I would get myself ready before they get to my house.

" Well she's coming with us too and I have to pick her up on our way, so you need to start prepping, I've had my bath and Abbey is almost done, Ibadan is not a stone throw from Lagos you know? coupled with the bad roads... " he explained.

I told him its okay and he ended the call. " i wonder how this guy do these things? " I thought.

I was amazed at how Ray was able to convince Lucy to travel to a party with him after meeting in less than 24 hours.

I sighed, stripped to my boxers short, and walked into the bathroom, If Ray gets here and I am not ready they will have my head for breakfast, I grin as I thought about my crazy friends, especially the troublesome Abbey.

6 Likes

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Tobillionaire19: 6:39pm On Oct 16, 2017
Preetiex:
thanks for d mention,i hope u wont starve us sha

I just dropped another update, just for you grin

1 Like

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by queenitee(f): 6:44pm On Oct 16, 2017
Tobillionaire19:
kalu61, Preetiex, abubakarbabang7, ADECULATE, Creeza, queenitee, jagugu88li, inkdbetty, MichaelBlake40, Dhavido, Lawlahdey, Grendel, SenatorPope, mjay05, Didov1, MariamAlheri, xamiel4, Louisefaye, YINKS89, Cjizzy, leepest, WILLIAMSKECH, Chrismarvel, Jekonmor, HelenBee, Jesutourmewer, Criis.
I'm here, thanks

1 Like

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by MichaelBlake40: 6:44pm On Oct 16, 2017
Let's get the show on the road!! cool
Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Nobody: 7:10pm On Oct 16, 2017
Tobillionaire19:

I just dropped another update, just for you grin
thanks darl cheesy

1 Like

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Nobody: 11:13pm On Oct 16, 2017
Sounds promising.
Your tenses though.. lipsrsealed

1 Like 1 Share

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Xteljay(f): 12:13am On Oct 17, 2017
Ride on
Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Tobillionaire19: 7:25am On Oct 17, 2017
Criis:
Sounds promising.

Your tenses though.. lipsrsealed

Please specify so I can modify, could be a mistake.

3 Likes

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Tobillionaire19: 12:21pm On Oct 17, 2017
I felt great relief after taking my bath, and my head was sitting pretty well on my neck now, no signs of migraine or whatever again, I believed the cold water helped.

I rubbed my curly punks with Gel, and sat behind the dressing mirror, " When will these beards start sprouting for real " I asked mself, twirling the little hair that has grown under my chin.

After all the oil I had bought, I still haven't seen much changes, and a Yoruba Demon without beards is like a Dubai without Burj Khalifa.

" Mtcheeew, all these beard products are scams " I muttered in frustration and began dressing up.

Couple of minutes later I was clad in my white well tailored and ironed attire, a black simple cufflinks did justice to the beautiful piece." Lord bless you " I showered my tailor with a prayer.

I picked the Agbada gown in its folded shape and walked to the sitting room waiting for the boys, they will be glad they didn't have to wait on me when they get here.

While I was watching soccer highlights, my phone rang again and I realized I haven't seen it since I spoke to Ray, I traced the sound to the kitchen and found it on the fridge, vibrating and almost falling to the floor.

" Hey babe, wassup? " I said into the mouthpiece as soon as I picked it up. It was Nike calling me. We talked for some minutes and I hung up, leaving her disappointed on the other end, she had been trying to come over and spend the weekend two times consecutively and I've been simply unavailable.

" I don't know where this relationship is headed anymore, you hardly have time for me anymore " she had whined, frustration lacing her tone over the phone.

Nike is Western Union agent and we had met one time I had gone to pick up some funds at her branch, I had tipped her handsomely after concluding the transaction and the rest is history.

Only few months since we started this affair and she has already begin plans to secure a ticket to matrimony with me. Well being who I am, I won't promise you anything, neither would I stop you from being delusional.

It's all in her head, the perfect wedding, honeymoon in Dubai or Paris afterwards, me and her settling down, having kids and start living all that boring lifestyle for the rest of sixty something years I intend to still use on earth.
At twenty-six I can't simply get hitched, that's a taboo, waking up to the same face everyday, never!

It's scary just thinking about it alone, talk more of finding myself in such a situation.

" she can keep dreaming, if she gets too clingy I'll just bail as usual " I thought and a smirk dance on my lips.

The familiar horn of Raymond's Honda Ridgeline truck sounded and I walked to the balcony just to be sure it was him, I couldn't be wrong as I saw him stepping out from the sparkling black machine.

Our eyes met as he looked up and he winked, flashing me his signature smile.

" Looking sharp dude, my finest padi of life " he teased, I gave him a thumbs up and told him to just wait up for me while I join them downstairs to avoid further wasting time coming in.

I went back in, put off all the gadgets and switch off the power from the main source on the wall, picked up my Leopard themed Zara sunglass and exited the apartment.

Abbey was on the phone when I got downstairs and his face has a frown emblazoned on it, I mouthed an inaudible greeting to him and shook hands with Ray.

" Guys let's roll, dad is mad at me that I'm not at the venue yet, when I should have been around since yesterday sef " Abbey complained, while adjusting his cap and dropping his phone.

" Dude calm down, only you knew the reason why we didn't make this trip yesterday, we could have Lodged in a hotel " I stated, stopping to wipe my sweaty face with an handkerchief before continuing

" as a matter of fact I think I know why you didn't let us move yesterday, you can't escape the sermon today anyways " I said amidst a loud and mocking laughter from Ray.

He mumbled some incoherent words and hopped back into the car front sit, Ray and I laughed at him in unison before joining him.

Ray brought the engine to life and slowly backed out of my compound, rolling the car onto the beautifully tarred road, i let out a sigh of relief as the car air conditioner blessed my sweaty face, the sun was too hot for a early morning.

4 Likes

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by MichaelBlake40: 3:43pm On Oct 18, 2017
Well,c'mon Tobillionaire19 iz that all man? give us more. smiley
Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Tobillionaire19: 6:37pm On Oct 18, 2017
Surulere has always been a buzzing environment and it was no surprises to see multitudes of people going about their daily activities on that early Saturday morning, I love sitting close by the window side in a car when I'm not driving, so I can have great view of the going-ons around me.

We passed the front of a couple of clubs and Lounges on Adeniran Ogusnaya and everything was calm, if only people knew what went down in those places once it's twelve midnight, I shook my head and smiled inwardly as I reminisced on some of my escapades in those places.

One time I had just collected a huge amount of money, about sixteen thousand dollars. Ray and I had gone to one of the strippers club to celebrate when a beautiful petite young girl clad in purple panties had strutted towards our table, she was new, I knew as i was regular enough at Q Club to know all their strippers.

She was really young and her body attest to that, but very beautiful and the flesh on her chest stood at attention like soldiers in the middle east wars, that was the death of me.

I had offered her a sit beside me and a glass of Hennessy, proposed to give her a thousand dollars if she would have sex with me right there and then. I felt amused and stupid remembering that lustful night and I quickly shifted my attention back to the moment.

I feel much better since I got into the car, everywhere was silent, save for the Wizkids track titled 'Like This' playing faintly from the trucks sound system.
Ray is a Wizkid fan, while I'm not particularly interested in Nigerian artiste I must confess I love the dudes songs too, so I nod rthymically to the beat of the song.

" Increase the volume a bit Ray " I had said unconsciously, I must have been feeling the song that much to the extent of requesting the volume to be turned up.

" Thought you only jam to Chris Brown and the likes, One day we will arrange Yankee citizenship for you " Ray replied, turning the volume knob of the car sound system.

I smiled at his comment, before telling him i do enjoy some of Wizkids tracks and of course the legendary Idibia, besides I'm not just cut out for the mumble jumble most Nigerian artiste churn out these day, but they are quite a few I still vibe to.

Ray nodded and the journey continue in silence, I had noticed Abbey was particularly very much silent which is unlike him, I poked him on the head from the back, he didn't even spare me a glance that's when I knew he's truly disturbed or so.

" Abena, what's up na, this one your quiet like still-water, are we safe? " I said sarcastically.
He looked back and smiled and I realized all his well, I guess everybody always want to have their me moment, irrespective of how lively they are.

Ray navigated the car through Ojuelegba and took a right turn to link Jibowu, where he claimed Lucy stayed with her friends, after I had raised eyebrows when he skipped the bridge that leads straight down to our travelling route.
I had totally forgotten about her, so I relaxed and found it surprising yet again that Ray was actually bringing her along on the trip.

Ray brought the car to a halt in front of a restaurant and raised his phone to his ears after punching into it a bit, which I believe must be dialing Lucy's number.

As if on cue two beautiful ladies came out from the front door of the eatery, dressed in a black beautiful made matching Agbada and trousers, the outfit was very catchy considering its a new trend for females to be caught wearing such attires.

" Sweet Jesus! " I groaned as they walked towards our ride, Lucy had a blood red stilleto adorning her feet and a black sun shade sits nicely on her nose bridge.

Her friend whom I could hardly recognize probably due to my drunken state the night before slayed on her own right too she's not a pretty as Lucy but she looks great and has more flesh in the right places.

For a moment I felt bad as I did a reality check and figured I'm the only without a babe, they closed in on us and Ray signaled at them to enter the vehicle.

" I thought it was only one one babe coming? " Abbey spoke for the first time since we got into the car, glancing at abbey with a puzzled face, then it suddenly dawned on me he probably didn't have plans for the second lady, since he didn't even know she was coming.

Ray answered him and keep explaining, but I cared less about their discussion that moment so I couldn't really hear what was being said.

I smiled satisfactorily at the realization, I needed to make use of the advantage I have to win the girl before Abbey does his magc, and that is sharing the backseat with them for the next two hours of the journey.

Ray released the central lock and I quickly opened the door and stepped down from the car..

" to be successful in any endeavour you have to plan all the way to the end " I thought and flashed the ladies a killer smile, knowing only me understand what I had done.

6 Likes

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Tobillionaire19: 6:42pm On Oct 18, 2017
MichaelBlake40:
Well,c'mon Tobillionaire19 iz that all man? give us more. smiley

Updated! Light was out all day man
Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Tobillionaire19: 12:30pm On Oct 19, 2017
The art of seduction has been synonymous with women, but as a player, you have to learn this trick, you have to understand the psychology behind it, the ability to be able to attract a woman without even saying a word yet is very important.

It's like a soccer striker and his shooting ability, it's a very necessary attribute to have, it's a must-have.

We live in a world of over 7 billion people, it's very obvious that you will always find someone richer, someone more educated, someone more handsome, so the key is to be different and that is turning the tables and being the seductor, albeit subtly.

Women love men who can seduce them, it's a new terrain for most of them, this is simply different from flirting so they are shook and completely lost in trance when you catch them through that web.

Ever wondered why a woman would fall for a man who isn't really their type and then utter the all too familiar ' I don't know how, there's just something about that guy '

They've been hooked and there's no going back until at least the seductor has accomplished his task.

Women are fragile creatures, they have wild imagination and if you play on that strength and turn it into a weakness, soon you will find your way to the innermost part of their heart, where their most loved ones have never even been before.

There are few ones who can smell your demonic nature from miles away, I love these ones, they are experienced and not clingy, you don't have to work much, they let you know straight up, if they are fvcking with you or not.

If only all women can be that realistic, we wouldn't have many hearts breaking into pieces like a ceramic tile, if only they would stop the fairytale imagination and fantastic illusions they see, if only they can embrace what is obtainable and pragmatic.

Well for as long as life allows me, I'm probably going to always detest monogamy, why choose one when the heart is large enough to love many, big, small, dark, fair, tall, short, busty, booty-ful, varieties is the way of life and anything that will deny me of such luxury can relegate to the waste bin.

Lucy climbed into the car, and her friend followed suit, my brain almost scattered on sighting her derriere " what an ass! " I thought.

There's no story or excuse, I must hit this one. Even the free flowing Agbada couldn't hide the glory of Lucy's friend batty.

I hopped back into the car, achieving my aim of sandwiching Lucy's friend in between us, I jammed the door hardly and Ray squeezed his face.

" I've told you not to ever jam my door like that anymore!" he yelled, glancing back with a murderous stare.

I opened the door again and jammed it harder than the first time while making a funny face, everyone in the car laughed and Ray soon joined in, shaking his head in defeat. He shifted is gear to drive and the journey began again.

8 Likes 3 Shares

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Xteljay(f): 10:35pm On Oct 19, 2017
Nyc one
Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by adeniyi3971(m): 7:24am On Oct 20, 2017
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me...


As a Yoruba Demon (YD) fellas how many likes can I get?

32 Likes

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by romoruyi(m): 7:24am On Oct 20, 2017
Hmmm
Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by looseweight: 7:24am On Oct 20, 2017
Ok
Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by yomalex(m): 7:25am On Oct 20, 2017
hmm
Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by adeniyi3971(m): 7:26am On Oct 20, 2017
Bruh.. No one badder than us






Aa bad gan

1 Like

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by GeneralOjukwu: 7:26am On Oct 20, 2017
SHAKABOOM would come soon to complain...

He has female relatives who were victims of Yoruba Demons...

1 minute of silence for THEM


4 Likes

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Basic123: 7:28am On Oct 20, 2017
What is the origin of the word ?



By the way,ladies still love them and fall for them even when they know they may still break their heart.
Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by god2good: 7:33am On Oct 20, 2017
What of igbo demon? AH!!!

1 Like

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by Joephat(m): 7:33am On Oct 20, 2017
grin
Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by SHAKABOOM: 7:36am On Oct 20, 2017
GeneralOjukwu:
SHAKABOOM would come soon to complain...

He has female relatives who were victims of Yoruba Demons...

1 minute of silence for THEM

Abeg no forget say Una get cLusade dis week for one church oo..Dem PLayer warLIORZ suppose organize strong deliverance session for yu dirty unclean AFONJA coward demon. cheesy

6 Likes

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by SHAKABOOM: 7:39am On Oct 20, 2017
Basic123:
What is the origin of the word ?



By the way,ladies still love them and fall for them even when they know they may still break their heart.
The word YOLUMBA demon originated when Oluwa threw oduduwa out of heaven like a bail of OKRIKA cloth.

10 Likes

Re: YORUBA DEMONS (the Scourge Of Ladies) by looseweight: 7:40am On Oct 20, 2017
Nice story

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2 Likes 1 Share

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