Disclaimer: This post is not meant to chastise people in interracial relationships and only represents my learned opinion and observations. Also this post does not apply to Nigerians married to Mudsharks or those married to their ancestors or at least, someone who looks like their ancestor. I have lived in four European countries and I feel the situation is the same, or almost the same but I'll use Germany as a yardstick.

When I arrived Germany, I experienced a culture shock. I had just moved there from Romania, a country in Eastern Europe, and despite both being Europeans, there are considerable differences in their lifestyle. It was normal to see couples living together, some with children, in the mall, in the streets etc. The more older the couple, more likelihood they have passed dating stage and are married. In Germany, at least around the state of Hessen where I frequented, It was not the case. All I come across at Aldi are bitter, older women. I was even forced to ask one of my colleague if Germans ever get married.

YES? they do. But more and more men are choosing not to marry in Germany. Marriage is declining faster and cohabitation is on the rise. Well, except you are an illegal immigrant looking for papers to perfect your stay. I soon understood why. Like someone told me, in Germany, It is Women first, followed by dogs; followed by other animals and then men.

First, there is a contrasting view on marriage. Marriage according to most Europeans is viewed more like a combination for the sake of recognition nothing more. The idea of a family is conceived as a consequence of togetherness and not as a goal itself while according to most Nigerians, it is a way of life. Like education, getting a job, something natural that just has to happen. Your white partner can wake up tommorrow and say she is not interested again. Chances are much lower if you marry a mudshark. Well, I am not anti-divorce and strongly encourage divorce in cases of physical, emotional or mental abuse by either partner. But I don't know if it's because of the favorable laws, greed or non-commitment, I see a lot of families torn apart here. Unlike most Nigerians who see marriage as an institution, bonded by love, faith and commitment to one another.

When you divorce, you lose your kids, half your properties and end up paying child support for the rest of your life until the child is 21. If your German partner is unemployed, you are obligated to pay her monthly support as well during the period of separation, until the divorce proceedings are completed. If she or any of her family member is heartless, she just has to make a complaint, true or false and voila, you never get to see your kids again. If she is the lazy, uneducated type, she just sits at home feeding on your monthly cheque.

In Germany, 35% of all marriage within a year are expected to end in divorce. 52% of divorce filings were made by women.


2. Babies. I don't know if it's just me. But when you relate mostly with educated female Europeans, they have a negative view on having babies. Many of them do not want to have them at all. Cultural/Societal difference.


3. Their lifestyle. We have quite different lifestyles. Every person I have ever dated or being "beneficial friends" with is either an avid smoker or drinker and in most cases both. It is quite usual to see married women in my nightout at PHI18 smoking, drunk and eventually get all spent out. A married Nigerian woman most likely wouldn't do that. And those who even do so, do it in secret. YES? I AM ANTI-SMOKING BECAUSE I AM WELL EDUCATED ENOUGH TO KNOW ITS EFFECTS.

Don't ask me why I date them if I don't like their lifestyle. A man has needs that needs to be met.


Also, in Europe, marriage is a bit more about sex. Once they are tired of having of you or as people become older, sex becomes less engaging and then cracks start to form as the relationship has a weaker foundation to cover the weakness in sex.


4. Marital Roles. I believe I don't need an explanation for this as a lot of people already know what's up on this one. When marital roles are reversed, this is a big problem for me.


I know some people will come up to say some Nigerian women also do the same things when they start living abroad. I agree. Notable examples are videos of the nurse who maltreated her MIL and the wife of the US soldier killed when he came home to Nigeria. But they are still the lesser of two evils. One just has to be careful and watch out for her character.

I also remember the Nigerian girl who I was eyeing then. Visited her the first time, served me food. In my mind, I was like this one is wife material o until halfway through the meal when she said " ;DChop quick abeg, make you go wash your plate" . I still remember my 35 year old 'Cameroonian brother' who is married to a 26 year old Nigerian. Bad Market.

A much better alternative if you are going to be based abroad is to do only a traditional marriage back home. No court wedding and also, DO NOT REGISTER YOUR MARRIAGE ABROAD. That should keep her in check as there would be no legal loophole she can count on incase she becomes radicalized.


Lastly, Moving Back Home. Getting married to a foreigner means you are stucked abroad. She is less likely to follow you to Nigeria if you ever plan on coming back home like me. It is much easier to convince a Nigerian to move back to Nigeria.


NEXT POST

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i dey come with epistle

Mille:
When I arrived Germany, I experienced a culture shock. I had just moved there from Romania, a country in Eastern Europe, and despite both being Europeans, there are considerable differences in their lifestyle. It was normal to see couples living together, some with children, in the mall, in the streets etc. The more older the couple, more likelihood they have passed dating stage and are married. In Germany, at least around the state of Hessen where I frequented, It was not the case. All I come across at Aldi are bitter, older women. I was even forced to ask one of my colleague if Germans ever get married.

FAIL #1
trying to meet women in the cheapest supermarket brand in Europe (mostly frequented by poor destitute people) is the issue here.... if you had gone to PROPER supermarket, you would have met PROPER women.

YES? they do. But more and more men are choosing not to marry in Germany. Marriage is declining faster and cohabitation is on the rise. Well, except you are an illegal immigrant looking for papers to perfect your stay. I soon understood why. Like someone told me, in Germany, It is Women first, followed by dogs; followed by other animals and then men.

FAIL #2
is marriage on the rise in Africa?! marriage is on the decline EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD, because marriage is overrated... and in this day and age, women are not slave to their husband (like in the past) and can take decisions for their own lives. they have great jobs, and have no problem being independent.

First, there is a contrasting view on marriage. Marriage according to most Europeans is viewed more like a combination for the sake of recognition nothing more. The idea of a family is conceived as a consequence of togetherness and not as a goal itself while according to most Nigerians, it is a way of life. Like education, getting a job, something natural that just has to happen. Your white partner can wake up tommorrow and say she is not interested again. Chances are much lower if you marry a mudshark. Well, I am not anti-divorce and strongly encourage divorce in cases of physical, emotional or mental abuse by either partner. But I don't know if it's because of the favorable laws, greed or non-commitment, I see a lot of families torn apart here. Unlike most Nigerians who see marriage as an institution, bonded by love, faith and commitment to one another.

FAIL #3
if you view marriage as a "goal", rather than the simple desire to live the rest of your life with a certain person, then no wonder you are failing at understanding marriage. In Africa, many wanna get married while NOT knowing why... solely because thats the pressure that is put upon them by RELIGION/FAMILY/SOCIETY.... yet, here you are thinking African marriage are better?!?!?!?!

When you divorce, you lose your kids, half your properties and end up paying child support for the rest of your life until the child is 21. If your German partner is unemployed, you are obligated to pay her monthly support as well during the period of separation, until the divorce proceedings are completed. If she or any of her family member is heartless, she just has to make a complaint, true or false and voila, you never get to see your kids again.[/color] If she is the lazy, uneducated type, she just sits at home feeding on your monthly cheque.

FAIL #4
if you divorce in Europe, you share custody of your kids, but they will stay with the parent who has the better ability to raise them... and the person who earns more SHOULD pay support to the other who earns less and is caring for the kids. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!! just because people in Africa are bastards who use money to blackmailed their ex wife is irrelevant here. this issue is only about the WELLBEING of children, your own selfish agenda is irrelevant.

but most importantly, if you do have kids with heartless people then blame your DAMN Self for marrying and having children with a demon. you get what you deserve.

In Germany, 35% of all marriage within a year are expected to end in divorce. 52% of divorce filings were made by women.

FAIL #5
so you'd rather they stay in these miserable marriages and suffer in silence, like most African women (who foolishly wanna keep the "Mrs" status at all cost AND/OR dont want to be divorced in a continent that looks DOWN on divorce)?!?!?

the question you should ask your self IS:"how many African women are miserable in marriage but stays with the demon they call HUSBAND?!
if ANYBODY discover something (after marriage) that is not what they bargained for, then they MUST divorce.

2. Babies. I don't know if it's just me. But when you relate mostly with educated female Europeans, they have a negative view on having babies. Many of them do not want to have them at all. Cultural/Societal difference.

FAIL #6
the fact that you would even THINK that all women should/must have kid is the reason why, today in Africa, so many deluded women are gladly throwin g newborn babies in garbage. if a babe does not want to have a child then move to the next one, et voila!

3. Their lifestyle. We have quite different lifestyles. Every person I have ever dated or being "beneficial friends" with is either an avid smoker or drinker and in most cases both. It is quite usual to see married women in my nightout at PHI18 smoking, drunk and eventually get all spent out. A married Nigerian woman most likely wouldn't do that. And those who even do so, do it in secret. YES? I AM ANTI-SMOKING BECAUSE I AM WELL EDUCATED ENOUGH TO KNOW ITS EFFECTS.

FAIL #7
its called PREFERENCES, and if you cant understand what this means, then i suggest you look up the word in the dictionnary. but if you seriously think that EVERYBODY in the west smokes or drink, then the joke is on YOU.

Don't ask me why I date them if I don't like their lifestyle. A man has needs that needs to be met.

FAIL #8
then no wonder you will never understand this issue, if you willfully date women that you deem unfit, simply because you cant control yourself, then the issue here is not Europeans or women, its YOU!!!!

Also, in Europe, marriage is a bit more about sex. Once they are tired of having of you or as people become older, sex becomes less engaging and then cracks start to form as the relationship has a weaker foundation to cover the weakness in sex.

FAIL #9
are marriage in Africa (mostly based on family/religious/society pressure) any better?!? do all these women that marry ANY donkey they meet (just to be called Mrs) any better?! abeg think....

4. Marital Roles. I believe I don't need an explanation for this as a lot of people already know what's up on this one. When marital roles are reversed, this is a big problem for me

.

FAIL #10
if you want African lifestyle, stay in Africa, but if you willingly decide to move to Europe, then start living the way Europeans do and adapt.... as being EQUAL in marriage is what works in Europe. any man who thinks that he is above his wife should stay in his forrest in Africa (where such state of mind is accepted and fully endorsed by gullible women).

I also remember the Nigerian girl who I was eyeing then. Visited her the first time, served me food. In my mind, I was like this one is wife material o until halfway through the meal when she said " ;DChop quick abeg, make you go wash your plate" . I still remember my 35 year old 'Cameroonian brother' who is married to a 26 year old Nigerian. Bad Market.

FAIL #11
its called being REAL... i guess you would rather she pretends that she is one way, and turn out to be another after marriage, abi?! so you want to chop her food, that she was nice enough to prepare and serve you, then mount the babe and abuse her toto, while not even thank her for her kindness and helping out by washing the dishes. you ungrateful man, haba!

A much better alternative if you are going to be based abroad is to do only a traditional marriage back home. No court wedding and also, DO NOT REGISTER YOUR MARRIAGE ABROAD. That should keep her in check as there would be no legal loophole she can count on incase she becomes radicalized.

FAIL #12
what about staying in your forrest, and be done with the misery of Europeans lifestyle.... its obvious, with your state of mind, only a very narrow minded African woman would ever be able to please you... not even the African women in Europe could satisfy you because the minute they taste the REAL LIFE, and the REAL way that men should treat them, they look down on men like you.

Lastly, Moving Back Home. Getting married to a foreigner means you are stucked abroad. She is less likely to follow you to Nigeria if you ever plan on coming back home like me. It is much easier to convince a Nigerian to move back to Nigeria.

FAIL #13
if you'd marry that woman for the RIGHT reason, then the above should not even be an issue....sadly, you sound like a very selfish/narrow minded man who wanna marry someone, have kids with them and because YOU wanna go back home (and never had the decency/guts to let her know about this before marriage), you expect this woman to now change her life for YOU.
very sad!

You dont need to attack the poster..

well strange. whatever rocks your boat O.P

Germans will never prefer Nigerian women so also Nigerian men will not prefer German ladies.

Except due to the common binding energy - Sex

mrphysics:
Germans will never prefer Nigerian women so also Nigerian men will not prefer German ladies.

Except due to the common binding energy - Sex

I know quite a no of nigerian women married to German men, and the friends of the guys are always eager to meet other Nigerian ladies.
I think they like black women sef.

Of course, Germany's divorce rate will be higher than Nigeria's b/c women in Nigeria don't have the freedom of leaving unhappy marriages like women in Germany do. Germany is also an individualist country, meaning that at the end of the day people care about their own personal choices + happiness, while the collectivism plaguing Nigeria sometimes moves people to hop on the marriage bandwagon so society will stop looking down on them for being 30 and still single.

Mille:
I see a lot of families torn apart here. Unlike most Nigerians who see marriage as an institution, bonded by love, faith and commitment to one another. [color=#000099]

A skim through the threads in this section alone will let you know that the above doesn't hold much water for some many marriages in Nigeria. Cheating spouses, domestic abuse, marrying the wrong person (e.g. a recent thread that was posted a few days ago) are all characteristics of some many Nigerian marriages. And we all know about the several marriages of Nigerian celebrities that have fallen apart. There're probably a lot more troubled marriages in Nigeria than we hear about but people, especially married women, are living in silence b/c: they're afraid to speak up, denial that their marital life is wonderful to keep up appearances, they don't have the necessary resources to help them, they've been told to pray and enslave themselves for their husbands in order save their marriages.

Mille:

Don't ask me why I date them if I don't like their lifestyle. A man has needs that needs to be met.[color=#000099]NEXT POST

Since you already have negative perceptions of European women and are only dating them for the sheets, you probably keep attracting the wrong kind, which's only going to perpetuate your already-negative perceptions of them.

Good-you can see the other side of things. Very eye opening right? Don't you just like it that if you must fart, it mustn't smell ?
Marry for the right reasons and make sure you have money most are going to stay until you go broke Financial security is very important though African ladies are too patient with brothers.

MrBrownJay1:
i dey come with epistle



FAIL #1
trying to meet women in the cheapest supermarket brand in Europe (mostly frequented by poor destitute people) is the issue here.... if you had gone to PROPER supermarket, you would have met PROPER women.



FAIL #2
is marriage on the rise in Africa?! marriage is on the decline EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD, because marriage is overrated... and in this day and age, women are not slave to their husband (like in the past) and can take decisions for their own lives. they have great jobs, and have no problem being independent.



FAIL #3
if you view marriage as a "goal", rather than the simple desire to live the rest of your life with a certain person, then no wonder you are failing at understanding marriage. In Africa, many wanna get married while NOT knowing why... solely because thats the pressure that is put upon them by RELIGION/FAMILY/SOCIETY.... yet, here you are thinking African marriage are better?!?!?!?!



FAIL #4
if you divorce in Europe, you share custody of your kids, but they will stay with the parent who has the better ability to raise them... and the person who earns more SHOULD pay support to the other who earns less and is caring for the kids. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!! just because people in Africa are bastards who use money to blackmailed their ex wife is irrelevant here. this issue is only about the WELLBEING of children, your own selfish agenda is irrelevant.

but most importantly, if you do have kids with heartless people then blame your DAMN Self for marrying and having children with a demon. you get what you deserve.



FAIL #5
so you'd rather they stay in these miserable marriages and suffer in silence, like most African women (who foolishly wanna keep the "Mrs" status at all cost AND/OR dont want to be divorced in a continent that looks DOWN on divorce)?!?!?

the question you should ask your self IS:"how many African women are miserable in marriage but stays with the demon they call HUSBAND?!
if ANYBODY discover something (after marriage) that is not what they bargained for, then they MUST divorce.




FAIL #6
the fact that you would even THINK that all women should/must have kid is the reason why, today in Africa, so many deluded women are gladly throwin g newborn babies in garbage. if a babe does not want to have a child then move to the next one, et voila!



FAIL #7
its called PREFERENCES, and if you cant understand what this means, then i suggest you look up the word in the dictionnary. but if you seriously think that EVERYBODY in the west smokes or drink, then the joke is on YOU.



FAIL #8
then no wonder you will never understand this issue, if you willfully date women that you deem unfit, simply because you cant control yourself, then the issue here is not Europeans or women, its YOU!!!!



FAIL #9
are marriage in Africa (mostly based on family/religious/society pressure) any better?!? do all these women that marry ANY donkey they meet (just to be called Mrs) any better?! abeg think....

.

FAIL #10
if you want African lifestyle, stay in Africa, but if you willingly decide to move to Europe, then start living the way Europeans do and adapt.... as being EQUAL in marriage is what works in Europe. any man who thinks that he is above his wife should stay in his forrest in Africa (where such state of mind is accepted and fully endorsed by gullible women).



FAIL #11
its called being REAL... i guess you would rather she pretends that she is one way, and turn out to be another after marriage, abi?! so you want to chop her food, that she was nice enough to prepare and serve you, then mount the babe and abuse her toto, while not even thank her for her kindness and helping out by washing the dishes. you ungrateful man, haba!



FAIL #12
what about staying in your forrest, and be done with the misery of Europeans lifestyle.... its obvious, with your state of mind, only a very narrow minded African woman would ever be able to please you... not even the African women in Europe could satisfy you because the minute they taste the REAL LIFE, and the REAL way that men should treat them, they look down on men like you.



FAIL #13
if you'd marry that woman for the RIGHT reason, then the above should not even be an issue....sadly, you sound like a very selfish/narrow minded man who wanna marry someone, have kids with them and because YOU wanna go back home (and never had the decency/guts to let her know about this before marriage), you expect this woman to now change her life for YOU.
very sad!

@ Mr.BrownJay1
That was touchdown. A homerun! Well said, sir.

From someone who also lives in Germany, this is the most misogynistic post I have seen in a while. I tried to see reasons with you, but come on. You lost me at the points where you couldn't do YOUR dishes and where you advise people not to have court marriages. That was when I realized almost the entire post is riddled with BS