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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post (76581 Views)
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Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Lexusgs430: 10:41am On Nov 26, 2017 |
DOUBLEWAHALA: The fully understand the whole gist, best to read the long post..... |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Eberex(m): 10:41am On Nov 26, 2017 |
To err is human. Even you are not perfect, so I would implore you forgive and forget. These are the kind of issues that either keep or break a home. And I believe you don't want the latter. Have you seen the movie "why did I get married too". I would advice you watch it. You are having almost the same issue. Forgive her. If you don't, even you too will have a restless mind. Not to talk about your son. Jesus teaches us forgiveness, remember. |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by jendoakino(m): 10:42am On Nov 26, 2017 |
I don't why people don't get this ,am not making excuses for men but the truth is that women cheats with emotions unlike men that can just have sex with no feelings attached .That's why when a woman cheats on her husband she finds it difficult to have sex with him unlike men 13 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by nitt: 10:42am On Nov 26, 2017 |
taking everything into consideration plus the fact that u r already based abroad, i'd advice to forgive but don't forget yet. work your life to accommodate her n yr boy... u seem like a hardworker who can do anything to cater for his family if to say u were in Naija I think u would have no other option than to free the woman. but don't let her spoil yr progression abroad wish u the best, all family men should be as hard working and focused on their families. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by cmecproblem(m): 10:42am On Nov 26, 2017 |
First you need to find out why she was out there pestering another man for care and attention! Your wife is emotionally disconnected from you, as it is she doesn't love you anymore. She should truthfully decide if she can still love you again. 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by jericco1(m): 10:42am On Nov 26, 2017 |
you cheated before and you lied about it.
yours was worst than hers.
you should forgive her.
she loves you. 6 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by sisisioge: 10:43am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Hmmm...the reason people cheat is too vague for even them to comprehend. You are a guy smart in both looks and books, yet your wife cheated. A man can be married to a hottie and still cheat. Why do people cheat? The million dollar question! Anyways, please forgive her same way she forgave you in the past. Unfortunately, when a woman cheats, she tends to be emotionally involved unlike men who just do for physical pleasure. Biko forgive her and stop tormenting yourself. You two have been through a lot together, try to move past this too. It is well. |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by kwajahafiz(m): 10:43am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Boohoohoo, cry me a river.Most Nigerian girls nowadays are hoes, deal with it. They were prostitutes or.so called Runs girls in college and they'll remain prostitutes in marriage. That's just what it is. 7 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Ichie11(m): 10:43am On Nov 26, 2017 |
For braking the Samsung S8edge am angry with you you went too far Sir. forgive and move on that's the rule in MARRIAGE |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by ststyreal(f): 10:43am On Nov 26, 2017 |
betafuture:Why would you involve your son, in the whole tussle. I really don't appreciate that at all and secondly, I beg you to forgive and forget since you aren't sure of their meeting physically and you also aren't a saint either. Give her thus last chance I beg of you and I promise you, she wouldn't dare do such again, please I join in begging on her unbehalf, at least she is remorseful. Have mercy and forgive please, I beg of you. Do let this stay between you guys and never be disclosed to any one else I beg you in Gods name, Forgiveeeeee!!!!!! |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by lyricalz: 10:44am On Nov 26, 2017 |
betafuture: any woman that cheat can kill, no matter the begging and crying the emotion is already there, women are easily deceived, no matter the fact that the other man is married with kids, a romantic word from him will melt her heart again. woman can't love two guys deeply at the same time, its obvious she is not so into you as she is for the guy. what your wife needs is only Jesus ryt now, a heart that fears God will honour her husband and not cheat. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Arysexy(m): 10:44am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Karma! U cheated and denied it and thought u r free? Thank God they have not gone far. You have no moral justification not to forgive her and forget d episode. Move on 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Sage7(m): 10:44am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Bro, I know exactly how you feel. You want to leave her, but you do not want to leave the marriage. They will still communicate, she will definitely call him to let him know what has happened. At this point, only your spiritual unit can refuel the emotional energy you have lost, trust me you will still lose some more. Any move she makes will play back this tape in your head for a reasonable amount of time. Like I said earlier, you will be unwilling but you must try to go to the spiritual unit. That is what will make the marriage stand. Your son cannot be a factor at this point. Do not drink, it will not help. You need to discuss it with her mother or her brother( this person should be a mature person that must promise never to tell any other person, might be your pastor if you feel the family member will spread the news)....someone she is very close to in her family line but you must inform her before you do so. Please note that she will beg you not to do so but you need to let her know that it is the only way your mind will be at rest in a little way. Be careful in all, she will still kick back soonest trying to turn tables. Whatever you do, do not leave that marriage! It is a phase that will pass! |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by EMEKA1MILLION(m): 10:44am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Brother! Ask ur self some questions, do u still show her love? I mean the love u show her before marriage? Do u still take her out? Buy her gifts?listen to her troubles? Show her u care? Pamper her and tell her how much she means to you? Have u allowed ur zeal and passion to succeed academically take over ur whole life that you no longer have time to spend with ur wife? It's not about how good looking u are Oga! Have u stopped being her husband? Brother for a man far far away to still have an effect on ur wife, it's probably because he is doing something which u are not... He is listening to her! Retrace your step.. Forgive her and create time for her everyday... Women are emotional, men are mental. Forget the money, she loved u before u had it... Forget the material things u think u have... Spend time with ur wife.. It will be inconveniencing for u but u have to try... She hasn't slept with the man yet so u can still make this work... I pray things work out well for u.. #cheers 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Azam101: 10:45am On Nov 26, 2017 |
To err is human to forgive is Divine. |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by QuestSeeker: 10:47am On Nov 26, 2017 |
@op, I feel your pains and pray that you and your wife can pull through this storm as husband and wife. However, note the followings: 1. Any man that fvcks another man's wife risks having his own wife bleeped too. Remember that karma is an unforgiving bitch. Have you ever bleeped another man's wife? 2. A research conducted sometimes ago showed that a high percentage of wives who cheated on their husbands did so as a result of the husband having cheated on them earlier in their marriage. I strongly commend your frankness and disclosure of your own past sex escapades without attempting to paint your wife as the ONLY bad person in this matter. MY OBSERVATION Your wife never trusted you after catching you with that used condom even though she feigned forgiveness and that may explain her escapades as you didn't refer to any adulterous act on her part prior to yours. MY ADVICE Except you had caught your wife in such situations before she caught you with your hands in the cookies jar, I will advise that you have a heart to heart talk with her and forgive her. Let her know what the consequences of a repeat occurrence would be. Refrain from having amorous affairs with other women (either single or married) while you are still married to your wife. And be a good father to your darling son. Wishing you all the best. 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Tozara(m): 10:48am On Nov 26, 2017 |
betafuture:You cheated on your wife and even lied to her about it. You have no case. You are a fuçking HYPOCRITE! You guys are even now. You have NO RIGHT to be hurt. What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. Forgive your wife and stop punishing her for the same crime you committed, but never paid for (since you concealed it from her). You can't have one rule for you, and another rule for her. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Trippletriangle: 10:48am On Nov 26, 2017 |
You can look inward and rekindle your love for her by taking her out and satisfying her sexual need from time to time.fore play can be helpful sometimes 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by onlyme07(m): 10:50am On Nov 26, 2017 |
To be candid,you are hot tempered. I understand what went through your head,your thoughts about how you suffered in Nigeria, brought her to UK and make her happy. Its normal for a happy home which you desire. Pls,for the love to come back to your home and the sake of your son,you need to apologise for all you did during the issue. You have have gone too far bro. You hit her head,damaged her phone,disgraced her in the presence of your son,refuse to forgive her and even accept her oza room palava..lol Bro,you need to apologise by taking her out on a date,buy her a new phone,beg and hug her in the presence of your son,buy her a new phone better than the one you spoilt and make sure the oza room is drench in s.x for a week. Rekindle the love for a happy home. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Horlufemi(m): 10:50am On Nov 26, 2017 |
This is hard Thinking..... |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by 4FACEADELEKE(m): 10:51am On Nov 26, 2017 |
I cant see myself living with a cheating spouse not to talk of loving them.oga when trust is broken in a relationship there is nothing left in that relationship. it can never be the same.if you truly love her and love yourself let her go.You both bleeped up,you learnt your lessons,you should both go your separate ways.If you forgive her and continue the relationship, there is no guarantee that you will not cheat on each other in no distant future.Cheating should never be used as a form of revenge in any relationship, not to talk of marriage.Our generation have made marriage look like a child's play,marriage is sacred,maybe not to you but to me. I can tolerate any nonsense from a woman but never her,cheating on me. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by TPound(m): 10:51am On Nov 26, 2017 |
honestly, I feel karma is playing its role... you cheated while you were married, yet,you still want a perfect marriage...it doesn't work that way bruv... the way you lied to her then,she knew u were lying but she overlooked it.but overreacting on this issue is plain dumb... just forget the issue and move on. life is full of ups and downs...this is one of the downs of life. I just pray this story will be part of your autobiography on your successful life. I don't know you,but I can read you to be a very successful politician. mark my words and mark this date I said it. 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by emerged01(m): 10:52am On Nov 26, 2017 |
I feel your pain bro. For the sake of your son,pls forgive her and make sure you watch her closely. |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Fragileheart(f): 10:53am On Nov 26, 2017 |
First Mr Betafuture your wife is not adulterous just like you've said, she may be saying the truth and considering the fact that she has been begging and pleading for forgiveness of which you attested to that she has been indoors shows that she has a lot of conscience still left in her and even though she actually cheated you should be able to see the sincerity in all her pleadings. Forgive your wife and check within yourself to know if there are things you're not doing right, that you're a passionate lovemaker is not enough, you can read up marriage books to know more and lastly the earlier you forgive her the better before she hurts herself. EVERYONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Nobody: 10:53am On Nov 26, 2017 |
You cheated on her, she forgave you, now it's your time to forgive her. You guys see cheating as nothing, but when a woman cheats, hell let loose, that's unfair. Forgive her, no one is perfect. betafuture 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Nobody: 10:54am On Nov 26, 2017 |
ibkayee:a lot of angry people all over thes net these days, thank God election is fast approaching, we need real change |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by diritalkz(m): 10:54am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Bro i can imagine what you are going tru,it possible your wife had something with that man while you were away most women don't think before they act she probably thought she could hide this whole thing from you not know the world is a small place and there is not hidden under the sun just like it happen to you when you cheated on her and brought home a used condom. Here is my little advice from a married young man like your self seat your wife down tell her to tell you the truth because it very important make her understand you are ready to take any thing then get the guys number put a call to him tell him to stay clear from ur wife use his name on Facebook to search his profile and look for his wife and threat to report to his wife if you are able to find her then you embark on the journey to forgive your wife it not easy but take it as the best option because she remorseful about her act tell her you will end the union when Anything like this repeat itself again. I have come to understand that some men a specialized in dating married women and breaking people's home we have to guide our wives from such evil doers,am suspecting your wife met that men while you were away distance is one of those many problem in marriage and relationship. |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by websiteguru30: 10:55am On Nov 26, 2017 |
bro I understand how you feel... I will advice you to forgive your wife and work on yourself. .. create more time with your family... communication matters most in the famly.... Forgive her and buy her gift and show her love. I am seeing your home great again. REMEMBER U FALL INTO THESESAME SIN. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by ibkayee(f): 10:56am On Nov 26, 2017 |
ChiefPiiko:I love election season because of all the funny slander, I laughed so much during the last one 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Nobody: 10:57am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Why will people just be quoting the whole post na ,what kind of wickedness is this on a Sunday morning Op by the way, I think you are even worse than your wife, so I don't think you have the right to be hurt, you are just as guilty, you first have to confess your own sin to her and get her to forgive you, or you think she was a fool to have believed the story you used to conceal your adultery?, the both of you need to forgive each other 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by IamaNigerianGuy(m): 10:58am On Nov 26, 2017 |
MIPNIG: Read the post again. In antiquity, our forefathers sent women home who were rebellious or posed a problem and allowed them back when the issue was resolved, so there is nothing 'Oyibo' about trial separation. Would you prefer that the issues remain simmering and papered over until they are become unsolvable ? Do you think if the woman wants to leave keeping her at home will stop that ? Have you ever heard the term Abilene paradox where people make collective decisions they are unhappy with just to maintain the status quo ? I don't have time for you abeg. Stay your lane. |
Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by queenfav(f): 10:58am On Nov 26, 2017 |
This is lengthier than a Jackie Collins novel. Gosh! |
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