VAINLY MUSING

By Abdullahi O Haruna Haruspice

Dear Gomina Bello,

I join your well wishers to celebrate with you on the completion of your edifice that’s so grotesquely magnificent that one needs not aspire to go to heaven. This is indeed a heavenly masterpiece that should last forever.

It is an unrivalled template of a house in the whole of Nigeria.You no doubt have taste mr governor. Your taste is befitting of your status your excellency, anyone with your kind of accomplishment sure deserves this one piece of architectural splendour. This is a big and fair plus to your greatness mr governor. As they say in low parlance, carry go - nothing do you sir.

One fascinating thing about this magnificent heaven is its location; strategically located in mockery of the poor. Your mansion will remind them to worship your kind of God, marry your kind of women and believe in your kind of belief. When they wake up everyday to see this best of the best, the pang in their stomach will gyrate not in hunger but in worm infestations.

If the dominante Igala people who have reigned supreme in the hierarchy of the Lugard House had built such a mansion in their land, their people would have been happy like your people of Ebiraland.

No! Instead of bringing heavens like you just did, they whimscally chose to build heavens in Abuja leaving their Igalaland to red muds and ego bloated youths. They towed a misdirected lane instead of the nee direction you are using to bring subdued progress to your people. They build hotels in Abuja while you build eye- catching opulence in Okene, though you also outsmarted them with your houses in Maitama, Asokoro, Ikoyi, Utako, Wuse, Dubai, a proposed private university in Benue and other Landed properties in Apapa converted by your excellecy. TWALE!!! You are indeed a digital hero - even with hunger in the land, atleast we can still go to your palatial empire to take selfie in hunger.

At all at all na him bad oh. If it's easy, let former Landlords of Lugard House show us their mansions in Ogbolicha, Omala and idah. You are a true son of your ancestors- only a trained child goes out to the field and brings harvest home. You are indeed Omoluabi of Anebira. I admire your lioness sir.

With such a mansion, we don't need any disturbing infrastructure like hospitals- no one with your edifice in their land fall sick , even with the rich stranded water in Lokoja, we dare not ask for pipe borne water, same way industries in Okene may cause disturbance or vibration to your heavily crafted crib.

This is what concealed youthfulness can give, it affords one unlimited affluence. It gives this shallow falsehood of accomplishment. By the time references of governance are made, you will come top in the ladder of esoteric measurement as that young governor who changed the governance narrative of Kogi. Like late Aguiyi Ironsi's walking stick, your swag stick shall speak for you as that young man who walked the veranda of governance with giat and swanky bravado.

Your boss in Aso rock will be too shy and ashamed to look into your eyes, your sight will remind him of his failure as a person. Do you know that even as a former governor, petroleum minister, head of state, head of lucrative PTF, the man couldn't build a mansion in Daura? He shouldn't begrudge you abeg- you showed him that in less than 2 years in government, one can build a massive abode. Congratulations my digital governor, this is how to go with directed governance.

All your traducers gritting, gnashing and grumbling of no salaries, tell them to come to Okene and see what you have used their toils for. They will mellow and wish you well and even dash you a second term in the Lugard House. Walahi you are better in utilisation of our commonwealth- far better than the landlords of yesterday who used their old age not to build mansions in their country homes nor buy American Ford utility vehicles for their aides. You are so generous that you don't swag alone but with your youngsters in low waist. That is called participatory chopping.

Once again, congratulations your excellency Mr governor for this milestone, the commissioning of your edifice. It is not easy to lead a people and not have where to retire to. I love your tactical dexterity- while the big boss was in kano commissioning 'disturbing' projects you led the rich, the super rich and the mega rich to commission your palace. They cheered you up in accelerated but ephemeral gusto as you cut the tape of your earthly heaven in the name of Allah, the beneficial and the merciful while the people you swore with the glorious Quran to make life easy for watched from afar in unmitigated grief.

Yours in shock,

Haruna Abdullahi

Beautiful write up! Wish Bello could actually get to read it