Good morning to the house.

Please I'm really confused and weighed down as I type this message. But I'll try to be succinct.

I met two girls almost the same time around September last year. I and one started dating, even though deep down my heart she wasn't the one I really wanted, because she's the dramatic and the slay queen type. And the one I wanted was yet to give me a YES or NO reply.

By late January this year, the one I wanted started giving me green light and attention. On February, during my birthday, the one I really don't like celebrated my birthday on low-key. Though I told the one i wanted that another female friend celebrated my birthday. I observed she wasn't bothered, as she also sent me birthday wishes and gave me calls that day.

Around March, she finally accepted me. I became happy because she has been the girl I really wanted.

I started managing both while gradually trying to layoff the one I don't like, because I really do not want to hurt her intentionally.
Mind you, I've been giving her little assistance (both financially and otherwise).

So between April and November this year, the one I don't want and I were only seeing on rare occasions, since I was focusing on building my desired relationship.

But between those periods we weren't seeing much, I observed she was having suitors. And in October, which happens to be her birthday, another guy celebrated it for her. And even the few times we saw, she was having calls in my present. I was really not disturbed.

Meanwhile, I've asked this girl if she now has a new boyfriend, she'll neither give me a YES or NO answer. Though my instinct is giving me a YES answer.

Now to the main issue, last three Sundays (26th Nov, 2017), we had sex and she asked for money for contraceptive, I gave her. Yet on 10th Dec., she told me she's pregnant. She has told her mum about it, and she said her mum told her, "If you go for abortion, you'll die."

Now my question is, How am I sure that the pregnancy is mine.

How do I relate all these to my people.

How can I also relate it to my main girl.

Because I know my parents will be bittered and dissapointed in me knowing fully well non of my brothers and sisters had a child outside wedlock.
And honestly, I really do not want distractions now, as my mind is not made up yet. Because I know I'm not that financially stable for all these.

NOTE: I'm working though but still in our family house with my parents. And I know my salary may not see me through all these.

I'M REALLY REALLY CONFUSED AND WORRIED.
PLEASE I NEED MATURED ADVISE ON WHAT TO DO.

Mods, please if here is not the right section, kindly help me and do the needful.

Thanks.

Mehn this is a fvcked up situation.

The only thing I can see is you letting her have the baby and y'all go for a DNA test to truly ascertain the paternity. But in the kind eventuality where it turns out to be yours....mehn.

Last 3 sundays when you were having different rounds, we didn't hear it. It's okay.


Well, ladies have a way of trying to tie people down or wanting to know what you will do. She loves you and have taken the money for contraceptive. Since she used it to subscribe for her monthly data plan, your business is to sit down and watch. Were you the one that suggested she buy contraceptive drugs? If no, then relax.

Just watch as it unfolds and start gathering money for DNA text before the next 9 months. Give her all the supports she needs, try your best to be a real man. Don't run away from challenges. Your situation will not be like your brothers, just see it that you are the one that had a child out of wedlock. And the child is a blessing and nothing more.

Summary is: Watch and support her

mrphysics:
Last 3 sundays when you were having different rounds, we didn't hear it. It's okay.


Well, ladies have a way of trying to tie people down or wanting to know what you will do. She loves you and have taken the money for contraceptive. Since she used it to subscribe for her monthly data plan, your business is to sit down and watch. Were you the one that suggested she buy contraceptive drugs? If no, then relax.

Just watch as it unfolds and start gathering money for DNA text before the next 9 months. Give her all the supports she needs, try your best to be a real man. Don't run away from challenges. Your situation will not be like your brothers, just see it that you are the one that had a child out of wedlock. And the child is a blessing and nothing more.

Summary is: Watch and support her

And she had asked for 20k for her to get rid of it, which I gave her. Only for her to send me a three page text message about her using the money to go get provision for "our baby."

Thanks anyway.

Did u really think about all these before u did it without. Sometimes its good we think with our brains.

HeyCorleone:
Mehn this is a fvcked up situation.

The only thing I can see is you letting her have the baby and y'all go for a DNA test to truly ascertain the paternity. But in the kind eventuality where it tunes out to be yours....mehn.

Really really bleeped up, my brother.
Thanks.

Mistake has happened...


@Op at this junction, u have to man up....dat child might still not be urs....there are chances for that....


Best n first move...is to raise some cash and take her to Med. lab for a DNA Test to be sure....


Going for an abortion is not a good option at all...


GOD HELP U...

LivinaPatrick:
Did u really think about all these before u did it without. Sometimes its good we think with our brains.

So what's your advise?

This and lot more are the reason why i fear ladies, while you were trying to lay her off, she was busy calculating her ways on how to get you to be hers, in which she eventually succeed.

Now, my brother, the truth is, you did the wrong thing for the right reasons. About your parents, i think you'll be the first to break jinx of getting a child outside marriage, you have to deal with that.

Equal2DeTask:
Mistake has happened...


@Op at this junction, u have to man up....dat child might still not be urs....there are chances for that....


Best n first move...is to raise some cash and take her to Med. lab for a DNA Test to be sure....


Going for an abortion is not a good option at all...


GOD HELP U...

I thought DNA test is done after childbirth?
Or can it be done now?

dayo2me:
This and lot more are the reason why i fear ladies, while you were trying to lay her off, she was busy calculating her ways on how to get you to be hers, in which she eventually succeed.

Now, my brother, the truth is, you did the wrong thing for the right reasons. About your parents, i think you'll be the first to break jinx of getting a child outside marriage, you have to deal with that.

Phew!

Please more advise and suggestions.
Thanks.

subzero2:

And she had asked for 20k for her to get rid of it, which I gave her. Only for her to send me a three page text message about her using the money to go get provision for "our baby."

Thanks anyway.

Don't mind her, she is just joking. But why did you release inside her? Bros you no try and condom nah N100 which could have saved you the 20k, the stigma, this thread, and the trust.

She is pulling your leg

Op, take your girl to the hospital, for a pregnancy lab test. Or you get a urine pregnancy test trip from any pharmacy around you. Atleast this will help clear off ur head a little. The girl may just be using ur money to solve her personal problems.

mrphysics:

Don't mind her, she is just joking. But why did you release inside her? Bros you no try and condom nah N100 which could have saved you the 20k, the stigma, this thread, and the trust.

She is pulling your leg

Honestly, I'm blaming myself.
I've not been myself for days now.

OP, you stepped into her web with your eyes wide opened... and now u are carefully trapped..

When your instinct tells you that she was having some suitors, that was when to end things.. you acted like a potential sugar daddy... (who can't leave their wife and still can't marry the side chick or let her go when she wants to. )

If the one you Love happens to hear about this, how do you think she will react?.. you love her yes but you don't respect her feelings..and that can make any reasonable girl to take a walk..

Just tell her she can keep the baby but you can't marry her, At least you can be the first in your family to have a kid out side wedlock.. there's first time to every thing.. And apply all the persuasive skills ever known to man to make the other one stay...

izaray:
Op, take your girl to the hospital, for a pregnancy lab test. Or you get a urine pregnancy test trip from any pharmacy around you. Atleast this will help clear off ur head a little. The girl may just be using ur money to solve her personal problems.

I've confirmed a pregnancy test result she showed me last Sunday. And it's positive.
Mere looking at her self, a smart person will know she's pregnant.
My only worry is how can my family give me the necessary support.

Though, I'm yet to tell my people. She has even called my immediate elder brother about it. My brother called me and I told him, "we'll see when I come back."

Richy4:
OP, you stepped into her web with your eyes wide opened... and now u are carefully trapped..

When your instinct tells you that she was having some suitors, that was when to end things.. you acted like a potential sugar daddy... (who can't leave their wife and still can't marry the side chick or let her go when she wants to. )

If the one you Love happens to hear about this, how do you think she will react?.. you love her yes but you don't respect her feelings..and that can make any reasonable girl to take a walk..

Just tell her she can keep the baby but you can't marry her, At least you can be the first in your family to have a kid out side wedlock.. there's first time to every thing.. And apply all the persuasive skills ever known to man to make the other one stay...

My brother, even the non living things can attest to the fact that I love and respect my main girl.
I'll try everything humanly possible to keep her. It won't be easy I know.

I know i goofed big time.

As for marrying her, she knows it won't work.

Thanks anyway.

Richy4:
OP, you stepped into her web with your eyes wide opened... and now u are carefully trapped..

When your instinct tells you that she was having some suitors, that was when to end things.. you acted like a potential sugar daddy... (who can't leave their wife and still can't marry the side chick or let her go when she wants to. )

If the one you Love happens to hear about this, how do you think she will react?.. you love her yes but you don't respect her feelings..and that can make any reasonable girl to take a walk..

Just tell her she can keep the baby but you can't marry her, At least you can be the first in your family to have a kid out side wedlock.. there's first time to every thing.. And apply all the persuasive skills ever known to man to make the other one stay...

My brother, even the non living things can attest to the fact that I love and respect my main girl.
I'll try everything humanly possible to keep her. It won't be easy I know.

I know i goofed big time.

As for marrying her, she knows it won't work.

My main challenge is my parents. And how to make them soft-pedal

Thanks anyway.

subzero2:


My brother, even the non living things can attest to the fact that I love and respect my main girl.
I'll try everything humanly possible to keep her. It won't be easy I know.

I know i goofed big time.

As for marrying her, she knows it won't work.

Thanks anyway.

Maybe we have a different version of respect..

But hey..Go and conduct pregnancy test with her and not her choice of hospital ..if its true that she is indeed pregnant.. it's not the end of the world.. Do all you can to make your main lady understand that you love her and all.

I am even happy it was ordinary Pregnancy and not HIV.. considering the fact that she has been seeing other suitors who were even celebrating her birthday.. please don't be too careless next time bro... U might not be this lucky

subzero2:


Honestly, I'm blaming myself.
I've not been myself for days now.

I understand. There is a day you will hear the truth. One day someone was telling me certain story, I did my ear as if I was training pig. When she saw her tricks is not changing anything, she opened up and told herself the truth.

Richy4:


Maybe we have a different version of respect..

But hey..Go and conduct pregnancy test with her and not her choice of hospital ..if its true that she is indeed pregnant.. it's not the end of the world.. Do all you can to make your main lady understand that you love her and all.

I am even happy it was ordinary Pregnancy and not HIV.. considering the fact that she has been seeing other suitors who were even celebrating her birthday.. please don't be too careless next time bro... U might not be this lucky

Thanks mahn! I appreciate your advise.

More suggestions, please.

Na wetin u like, na hin burn you for hand. Mr man, carry your cross alone.I have no fuccking advise to give.

subzero2:


Honestly, I'm blaming myself.
I've not been myself for days now.

Was it that you intentionally cum inside her or it was a mistake.. Y didn't u remove your dick when u were about cumming?

Welcomme:

Was it that you intentionally cum inside her or it was a mistake.. Y didn't u remove your dick when u were about cumming?

Hmm!

subzero2:


Hmm!

Sigh! Bro, man up; not the end of life.

I just feel bad for the ‘not-pregnant’ girlfriend that (probably) thought she was in a committed relationship. She is about to learn some harsh lessons of life.

elektra:
I just feel bad for the ‘not-pregnant’ girlfriend that (probably) thought she was in a committed relationship. She is about to learn some harsh lessons of life.

It's all good.

Welcomme:

Sigh! Bro, man up; not the end of life.

Thanks mahn!

There is no pregnancy anywhere! She wants to milk you dry and then move to the main. You have been relegated to maga level.

About her parents? She will later tell them that she had a miscarriage.

Buy that pregnancy test stuff, and test her buy yourself.

Make sure you buy a gun before doing that! She must not go unpunished by you!

OK. So you were cultivating two farms simultaneously...well done. More Olympians to your swimmers club. Ndi iranu!