It is a month already that my mom died in my hands.. I am really depressed!! I have been seeing life as nothing and vanity, I can't get over her, memories with her kept coming back really hard I tried to keep myself busy by watching movies, playing games and so on..But that doesn't stop my mind from remembering her.

These days, nothing bothers me again, not even life or death, I still have a father but it doesn't change things..

There was a time I went to school (my ppa), my proprietor was trying to pacify me by talking about when he lost his wife back then and everything, I started feeling uneasy and extremely tired..it wasn't stress at all my stomach started aching and I felt like vomiting or even passing out..he noticed it and I quickly left his presence and I went back home to shower and rest..

Please how can I get over my mom, I'm so obsessed with her and her memories kept coming in my head that every time I felt I could have done something to rescue her despite everything I did, taking her to state hospitals and even private.. I am the last born and I am about 29years..I have elder ones like 45(first born) but I took so much responsibilities when she was sick and I was only the one she could call everytime she's depressed due to memory loss..I later found out her sickness was related to heart failure and it was congestive heart failure she was going through.. All those times we thought she had nocturnal asthma like early last year..

It was only last month we knew that it was cardiomyopathy or cardiomegaly heart related.. The general hospitals we took her too didn't say anything like that, one of them only said her liver seemed bigger than the normal one..And we thought it was edema cz her legs were swollen.. So, it was heart related disease and it led to cardiac arrest or heart attack cz she just vomited and stopped breathing all of a sudden..

With time you ll overcome it. When my Dad died I thought I was going to die with him, I even posted a thread similar to yours here just to console myself.. As time goes on, I regained my self and everything became normal..

Take heart, death is a debt we will all pay..

It's well , Just take it easy.
With time you will be back and kicking. The lord is your comforter.
My condolences .

Please how can I get over my mom, I'm so obsessed with her and her memories kept coming in my head that every time I felt I could have done something to rescue her despite everything I did, taking her to state hospitals and even private.. I am the last born and I am about 29years.

Dear OP
My sincere condolence

Getting over the death of your mum is a choice.
That is, getting over your mum’s death is in your hands and no one else’s hands.
Definitely, it takes time to heal, but the time healing extent is a factor which you have the power to determine and influence. You may not heal if you decide living on the matter.

I know of a boy (last born like you) whose Mother died in 1999 when he was just 7years. Till today (at age 30) he hasn’t come off it and has no significant life achievement, now jumping from one prophet to another. Anytime I come across him, the song he sings often is “iku lo meja ka ko” (death is responsible for the fish bending), the death of his mother is responsible for his life predicaments.

There is one thing you have to bear in mind, nothing can be done to bring your mum back to life. But you have to move on with your life. Not getting over your mum’s death will surely make you stagnant in life and definitely death of your career and mental death. Your mum will never be happy seeing this if she has the opportunity to see how you are faring after her demise.

No one can help you to move on after losing your mum, they can only try. Brace up and move on to face the next challenges of life as a motherless man and not a motherless baby/boy at 29.

Let it out ..Time heals everything

It's a normal thing for everyone who have lost their loved ones,but don't worry, the time shall pass. Avoid being alone, take stroll sometimes. I've been there and know how it feels like. I always forget about the death of my father when I'm in midst of my friend then, funny thing is that they will be making jest of that same dead man, but it's fun then. Their fun helped me to move on then. The journey ain't easy though, but you shall overcome it.

Time heals. With time you will get over it. I have been there, so I know what you are passing through

Once again, I'm deeply sorry for your loss. You feel this way because amongst your siblings you were probably the one closest to her. You were there with her, you saw it all, I can tell you from experience that it's not something that will ever fade off from your memory, it won't. Movies/music/games won't do anything at this stage, those memories will keep coming back, even if your friends offer to take you out to make you feel better, it won't change much.

Only you truly know how you feel, try not to get pissed when people don't seem to understand. It is still very fresh, 1month will feel like just yesterday, it'll probably feel that way even in a few months time. Give yourself time to grieve Chris, to heal, to process it all, that is what I did. She sure knows that if there was anything you could do to avert death, you would have done that.

I was in school and it hit me sooo hard, I literally lost my mind, that was one of the four times I didn't care if I lived to see another day. My world caved in, I faced so many challenges, I struggled. I pray that God comforts you, may He grant you and your entire family the fortitude to bear this loss.

1F30M4:
Once again, I'm deeply sorry for your loss. You feel this way because amongst your siblings you were probably the one closest to her. You were there with her, you saw it all, I can tell you from experience that it's not something that will ever fade off from your memory, it won't. Movies/music/games won't do anything at this stage, those memories will keep coming back, even if your friends offer to take you out to make you feel better, it won't change much.

Only you truly know how you feel, try not to get pissed when people don't seem to understand. It is still very fresh, 1month will feel like just yesterday, it'll probably feel that way even in a few months time. Give yourself time to grieve Chris, to heal, to process it all, that is what I did. She sure knows that if there was anything you could do to avert death, you would have done that.

I was in school and it hit me sooo hard, I literally lost my mind, that was one of the four times I didn't care if I lived to see another day. My world caved in, I faced so many challenges, I struggled. I pray that God comforts you, may He grant you and your entire family the fortitude to bear this loss.

Thanks sir.. It is very hard

Amotolongbo:
Dear OP
My sincere condolence

Getting over the death of your mum is a choice.
That is, getting over your mum’s death is in your hands and no one else’s hands.
Definitely, it takes time to heal, but the time healing extent is a factor which you have the power to determine and influence. You may not heal if you decide living on the matter.

I know of a boy (last born like you) whose Mother died in 1999 when he was just 7years. Till today (at age 30) he hasn’t come off it and has no significant life achievement, now jumping from one prophet to another. Anytime I come across him, the song he sings often is “iku lo meja ka ko” (death is responsible for the fish bending), the death of his mother is responsible for his life predicaments.

There is one thing you have to bear in mind, nothing can be done to bring your mum back to life. But you have to move on with your life. Not getting over your mum’s death will surely make you stagnant in life and definitely death of your career and mental death. Your mum will never be happy seeing this if she has the opportunity to see how you are faring after her demise.

No one can help you to move on after losing your mum, they can only try. Brace up and move on to face the next challenges of life as a motherless man and not a motherless baby/boy at 29.

Thanks l.. I really appreciate you

Amotolongbo:
Dear OP
My sincere condolence

Getting over the death of your mum is a choice.
That is, getting over your mum’s death is in your hands and no one else’s hands.
Definitely, it takes time to heal, but the time healing extent is a factor which you have the power to determine and influence. You may not heal if you decide living on the matter.

I know of a boy (last born like you) whose Mother died in 1999 when he was just 7years. Till today (at age 30) he hasn’t come off it and has no significant life achievement, now jumping from one prophet to another. Anytime I come across him, the song he sings often is “iku lo meja ka ko” (death is responsible for the fish bending), the death of his mother is responsible for his life predicaments.

There is one thing you have to bear in mind, nothing can be done to bring your mum back to life. But you have to move on with your life. Not getting over your mum’s death will surely make you stagnant in life and definitely death of your career and mental death. Your mum will never be happy seeing this if she has the opportunity to see how you are faring after her demise.

No one can help you to move on after losing your mum, they can only try. Brace up and move on to face the next challenges of life as a motherless man and not a motherless baby/boy at 29.

Thank you..I really appreciate
I always feel that I could have done something to rescue her, I later found out it was Congestive heart failure..

Sorry for your loss.
Its all part of life so please take it in a good fate

.

Allow yourself to heal, don't distract yourself, face the reality of her passing, cry your heart out as often as you need to
Then remember she'll want you to live and enjoy life then do so
My condolences on your loss, time heals

No one gets out of life alive...Time heals everything

You don't have to get over her.

One of my friend lost his mother in 2013 and he still posts about her every month on whatsapp.

Just find a way to continue your daily life activities. If you have a friend or partner, now is the best time to go stay with them. Let them take care of you.

Think of what your mother will want? I'm sure she would want you to forge on with your life.

Sorry for the loss big man.

dboY1123:
It is a month already that my mom died in my hands.. I am really depressed!! I have been seeing life as nothing and vanity, I can't get over her, memories with her kept coming back really hard I tried to keep myself busy by watching movies, playing games and so on..But that doesn't stop my mind from remembering her.These days, nothing bothers me again, not even life or death, I still have a father but it doesn't change things..
There was a time I went to school(my ppa), my proprietor was trying to pacify me by talking about when he lost his wife back then and everything, I started feeling uneasy and extremely tired..it wasn't stress at all my stomach started aching and I felt like vomiting or even passing out..he noticed it and I quickly left his presence and I went back home to shower and rest..
Please how can I get over my mom, I'm so obsessed with her and her memories kept coming in my head that every time I felt I could have done something to rescue her despite everything I did, taking her to state hospitals and even private.. I am the last born and I am about 29years..I have elder ones like 45(first born) but I took so much responsibilities when she was sick and I was only the one she could call everytime she's depressed due to memory loss..I later found out her sickness was related to heart failure and it was congestive heart failure she was going through.. All those times we thought she had nocturnal asthma like early last year..
It was only last month we knew that it was cardiomyopathy or cardiomegaly heart related.. The general hospitals we took her too didn't say anything like that, one of them only said her liver seemed bigger than the normal one..And we thought it was edema cz her legs were swollen.. So, it was heart related disease and it led to cardiac arrest or heart attack cz she just vomited and stopped breathing all of a sudden..

My condolences,bro.
You are yet to recover from the shock and pain at the moment.
Please take heart, allow time to heal your painful loss.
Confide in an empathetic friend/confidant whom you trust and is a good listener.

Time heals.
Please look for "When someone you love dies" (JW)."
The points there in would help you a great deal..

Shalom.

UpInTheSky:
OP,
My condolences
Please stay strong

Be comforted knowing your mom is now with God,
I've watched videos of people who have gone to Heaven
and with what they say, it's a place to behold, so I'm sure your
mom is in a better place than this cruel earth and most importantly,
she's at peace and in no more pain.

May her soul rest in eternal peace and
may God give you the strength to you
need during this difficult time.
Take it one day at a time.

Hugs, hugs.

Who went to Heaven to do the videoing

dboY1123:


Thanks l.. I really appreciate you

You have to be very strong if you realy want her to get to her final destination

And if you realy want to move on with life

Once she is buried, you will start getting back yourself

Don't be surprise, she will visit you and talk to you to move on that she has gone to prepare a place for you

God is your strength

So sorry for your loss. God is Almighty. Allow him to carry you.

dboY1123:
It is a month already that my mom died in my hands.. I am really depressed!! I have been seeing life as nothing and vanity.

There is no solution to the problem at hand. You must learn to live with it or die for it.

Which ever you choose. Keep this in mind; there is no solution to the problem at hand.

Lalasticlala

Ehya

Eeyah! I'm so sorry for you loss OP. But do you know the best you can do for her is to pick your life up and start living normal again. I mean, I understand especially since she passed on in your arms. It could be so emotional or traumatic for you. But all the same, you need to just carry on dear. I prayed the Lord to give you strength to get on with life in Jesus name.
My sincere condolences.

Op, just take heart..... Better days ahead....

I've equally been there...And I can really feel the kind of pains the op is currently passing through..... You can imagine the pain of losing the only one who truly cares for you genuinely
....That was my own case and that's what the op is passing through at this moment....

Op,may the good Lord comfort you...

Time is the greatest healer, it gets better with time, 25 years later and it still feels like yesterday I lost my father and although I have learnt how to Bury the pain, it still hurts. Just give it time......

Eya, I know that feelings. Seriously bro, if you want me to tell you the truth eh, nothing anyone will say right now that will make sense to you but trust me on this, you are the only one that can pull yourself out of that feelings and it's not going to happen overnight, slowly with time, you will be fine.

When I lost my mum, it was very tough for me to move on. I kept getting mad at everything, sometimes I felt like blaming her for even dying. I mean like, I felt she left intentionally.

Nothing seemed to make sense to me, the worst thing anyone would say to me then were stuffs like: "you are a man, you have to compose yourself, I know how you feel ( imagine someone who hasn't lost his mum telling me such thing)"


I cried many nights and I was always indoor. Even uptill now, I sometimes still feel bad once I allow the thought occupy my mind.

Sometimes I put the blame on God, I asked why he didn't save my mum from dying? I was almost losing my trust in God and my belief was under serious attack.
I thank God I came off it though.


So bro, it's understandable but please remember the following:

-No matter the pains we subject ourselves to, they can't bring mum back to life

- Some people say time heals all wounds but I do like to say God heals us of all hurt, not time.

- Those who are dead are free from the worries and troubles of this world.

- They are actually in a better place (this depends on their beliefs and relationships with their maker though).

I realised that we can't prevent some things because they're simply beyond our control. This doesn't mean God has stopped being God. Let go of the questions you have no answers to, so that you won't be putting more burden on your heart.


I pray that God will give you the fortitude to bear this great loss bro.

She sleep be strong and be of good courage..This world is Not our home. Eat and be merriment.May Host of Heaven watch over U/all urs. IT IS WELL with U