star01:

@topic
i would ve @ least 1 before marrige of max of two, because u might not know what kind of shyt your wife might ve gone through like havin series of abortion,barren so n so like that

some of you guys make no sense. its like a woman asking a guy to go to a lab and check his sperm count to see if its low before she marries him.

and by the way the primary aim of marriage isnt procreation. just so u know.

and by the way the primary aim of marriage isnt procreation. just so u know.

well so you think. for some it is the primary aim and not you, me or society sets the aim for marriage, many people have varied reasons.

@ sisimose
as if having children in a marriage is an automatic definition of a happy marriage. which society do you mean by the way? because over here thousands of couples are happily married and children appear no where in the equation. they don't plan to have any.

hmm
please don't confuse things and deviate, you mentioned children not being the sole aim of marriage, where did happiness come into it? there are people who marry just because they are getting on and want kids, even if they don't love the man or woman and having the kids for them equates to their happiness regardless of the fact they do not love the spouse., there are people whose sole aim for marriage is to have financial security and for some of such people this equates to happiness. HAPPINESS is relative, for some having wealth makes them happy, some are married for the sole aim of being with their spouse and not wanting any kids , that is their own measure of happiness.

all i said is this statement you made is flawed

spoilt:



and by the way the primary aim of marriage isnt procreation. just so u know.

flawed for the reasons i gave, you imply that the primary aim of marriage is not procreation . which is wrong, for some it is the primary aim and for some it is not. To have made that staement implies you have a yardstick by which you measure this or there is an unwritten rule that says this.

@sisimose
i believe marriage originated from God. and correct me if im wrong but didnt he say "its not good for man to be alone" and so he made eve for adam as companion? who's fabricating stuff?

hmm are you a christain and do you believe what you are telling me? ( do not ever second guess another person)
if you do then good. as for fabricating, well this has nothing to do with the bible right now, we talking of making babies right? well some people go into marriage purely to make a baby simple!  ( i so don't even want to talk religion)

i don't see the arguement here, you even said thesame thing in your last post, some people go into marriage for babies or procreation, some don't, some can have babies and choose not to , the question of happiness like i said is RELATIVE, YOUR idea of happiness is diff from JOE BLOGGs idea of happiness SIMPLE>

spoilt:

@sisimose
i believe marriage originated from God. and correct me if im wrong but didnt he say "its not good for man to be alone" and so he made eve for adam as companion? who's fabricating stuff?

if you believe mariage originated from God then you really need to read your post again and again and think long and hard and then decide if you are interpreting the bible correctly. and before i forget not everyone shares your belief of the bible, so my point about ppl getting married for different reasons comes into play here. Your standards are not everybody elses neither are mine

And what if the baby dies after the marriage? Will they continue or divorce.
_{just thinking aloud}

cennific:

Fact: many marriages happen because the lady is already pregnant, the couple will then convince themselves that they were already planning to get married anyway.

Excluding teenage pregnancy or pregnancy that came about to "force the guy's hand", I feel its always better to wait for the wedding, but if it happens before, what is the big deal? Sex before marriage may be a sin but a baby is only evidence of that "sin" not the sin itself.

Exactly! Thank you jare, for putting it across so well. I can't count the number of weddings I have attended in which the bride was sporting a potruding tummy. On top of it all, the bride will wear a spotless white wedding gown.

In fact, a few years ago, it became so embarrasing in Naija, that some pastors of the orthodox churches started kicking against conducting weddings for pregnant brides. The trend has now changed. The pregnant brides get married in the registry & come to the church later, for what is called the 'church blessing.'

Pentecostal churches in their own case, have always refused to conduct wedding ceremonies for pregnant brides. Some will even ask the prospective bride to do a pregnancy test, before the couple can sign the dotted lines.

Even during several traditional weddings, it is a common sight to see pregnant brides clutching their wrapper, in a bid to avoid drawing too much attention to their state.

I've lost count of the number of Igba nku's that I attended, which had the bride conspicously 'in the family way.' I keep wondering, what's the rush? Why not tie the knot first before baking the bun in the oven?

I used to say that I wunna get married VERY
young (btwn 19 and 22), enjoy maself with ma
husband for couple of years and then start havin
babies. Now I actually don't care about the timing.
So if a surprise baby comes BEFORE I get married,
I see it as a blessing rather than a disgrace.
People that look at it as a disgrace are giving themselves
headache, I agree with mamaput!! That's not the
worst that cud happen to a gurl these days.

I became passionate about this whole "omg what
a disgrace" thing when one of ma friends got pregnant
for her boyfriend. Instead of people minding their
EFFING BUSINESS or being of sum help, all they did
was criticize and bad mouth. She decided to keep her baby
(I SAY BRAVO TO HER!!), she decided not to get married to
her boyfriend just yet (actually they agreed to wait a while).
They're taking care of the baby together, tho they not married.
They gunno get married later if the love's still there.
It really isn't as bad as people blabber about. It's your business
how u want your life. All this talk about reducing "chances" makes
me wunna throw up and as mamaput rightfully put it, the
word "stepfather" isn't there for no reason. DAMN!
And tho I do not pray that ma own daughter wud get pregnant in her
teenage years, I wouldn't throw her out if it happens. NEVER!!!
Keep open minds people!!!

PrincessMo:

They gunno get married later if the love's still there.

Really? I thot the essence of parenthood was raising kids in the security of a loving marriage. What was the essence of having a child if both parties werent even sure they would end up together?

PrincessMo:

And tho I do not pray that ma own daughter would get pregnant in her
teenage years, I wouldn't throw her out if it happens. NEVER!!!
Keep open minds people!!!

If you're also "keeping an open mind" then why pray that your own daughter wont be pregnant as a teen?

Betta to raise a child outside a marriage if the marriage is gunno be
traumatic, Ever thot of that? All I was tryna say there is that I don't
believe that two people shud be forced to get married because they
have a baby on the way.

Also, it isn't a question of whether or not ma daughter gun get pregnant.
I don't know if that's gunno happen. All I'm sayin is that if it does, I wudn't
call it a disgrace and throw her out like many parents do, mine included!

I agree with your sentiments, i think it also needs to be reiterated that unmarried people should behave responsibly. If you know you arent ready to get married then either abstain from sex or use protection.

I think parents who throw out their children for getting pregnant outside marriage are being too harsh but i don't blame them. There must be consequences for errors of judgement.

lol, abstainance,
well, let's put that aside for the moment.
Talkin about protection, shit happens yo!
Condoms rip, pills are missed, and such and such.
If a "mistake" happens, I believe it was meant
to be. I agree that people MUST be responsible.
Now back to abstainance, I'd be a fat hypocrite
if I preach it lol, so no comment there.

do we all wish we could truly practice abstinence. Easier said than done, but if you do decide to do the deed be fully aware that there is a price to pay for carelessness.
No one will listen to you when you plead broken condoms that day.

Is that "you" to me personally or a general "you"?
I'm quite aware of consequences and alla that.
I've got no problem with takin full responsiblity
for any thing I put ma hands into.

the "you" was a general one.

iight cheers,

Marriage before getting pregnant is the right thing.
At least, 2 people are meant to be joined together during the ceremony

What happened to the baby that came as a result of David and Bersheeba intercoure ; he died, because God frowned at it. Same gave birth to Solomon after they were legally married

It is always better to wait till after the wedding to get pregnant, but sometimes in some situations you have to test the woman's "equipment" and make sure that it works.

Na ibo people dey like dis kin thing.

Call me a hypocrite but I dont much care for the institution of marriage, however I don't want to have children unless I am married.

I guess what I am trying to say is, just for the sake of giving my future children a home with a mother and father, I am willing to do the marriage thing.

I definitely don't want to be a "baby mama". (no offense to anyone).

I want my kids' father to be there and very much in their lives.