lol very funny

As a child i remember that i did something terrible, their used to be a half lunatic man (ppl's reasoning) in my enviroment, Not really a lunatic but do crazy things sometime, he lives in a house, so cant call him lunatic and got a job, but you must not call him baba russia, so on one of my birthday, something went wrong with my brain; i think and i shouted baba russia.he ran after me for almost an hour and i was like dying and panting like m life is going to be snuffed out when i got home, i straight away ran into the cupboard in my bedroom.he came to my house with a cutlass and a crown shaft of a vehicle engine and told my mum to bring me out, that he must cut me into 2 that day.my mum and other neighbour begged him but he refused as my sisters often come to the door of the room to inform me of the happenings. i almost died inside the house, he didnt leave until after 2 hours and told my mum he's coming back to cut me into two, imagine! he said not more than 2; just 2, gush!!! lol! .He said he is not ready to kill me but just cut me into 2, i didnt leave inside the cupboard where i was hiding until late in the night, lmfao!!! what a Birthday Gift, !!!

ceah:

As a child i remember that i did something terrible, their used to be a half lunatic man (ppl's reasoning) in my enviroment, Not really a lunatic but do crazy things sometime, he lives in a house, so cant call him lunatic and got a job, but you must not call him baba russia, so on one of my birthday, something went wrong with my brain; i think and i shouted baba russia.he ran after me for almost an hour and i was like dying and panting like m life is going to be snuffed out when i got home, i straight away ran into the cupboard in my bedroom.he came to my house with a cutlass and a crown shaft of a vehicle engine and told my mum to bring me out, that he must cut me into 2 that day.my mum and other neighbour begged him but he refused as my sisters often come to the door of the room to inform me of the happenings. i almost died inside the house, he didnt leave until after 2 hours and told my mum he's coming back to cut me into two, imagine! he said not more than 2; just 2, gush!!! lol! .He said he is not ready to kill me but just cut me into 2, i didnt leave inside the cupboard where i was hiding until late in the night, lmfao!!! what a Birthday Gift, !!!

Goodness, this sounds terrible!! Thank God he never got hold of you. But he has guts, facing your mom like that! What's with him and being called Baba Russia sef?? LOL.

ceah:

As a child i remember that i did something terrible, their used to be a half lunatic man (ppl's reasoning) in my enviroment, Not really a lunatic but do crazy things sometime, he lives in a house, so cant call him lunatic and got a job, but you must not call him baba russia, so on one of my birthday, something went wrong with my brain; i think and i shouted baba russia.he ran after me for almost an hour and i was like dying and panting like m life is going to be snuffed out when i got home, i straight away ran into the cupboard in my bedroom.he came to my house with a cutlass and a crown shaft of a vehicle engine and told my mum to bring me out, that he must cut me into 2 that day.my mum and other neighbour begged him but he refused as my sisters often come to the door of the room to inform me of the happenings. i almost died inside the house, he didnt leave until after 2 hours and told my mum he's coming back to cut me into two, imagine! he said not more than 2; just 2, gush!!! lol! .He said he is not ready to kill me but just cut me into 2, i didnt leave inside the cupboard where i was hiding until late in the night, lmfao!!! what a Birthday Gift, !!!

Kai itd been long since i laughed so hard. baba Russia, am sure u died a thouand times in that cupboard, happy birthday, LMAO

@Maedan, Thank God he never got hold of me, the way the guy sound he would have cut me into two cos u need to see him, he was so determined, from that very day when i see him from a mile i make sure i run another mile difference before i wait knowing that he cant get me, though he never recognise me again but till date i dont think if i go near that area i will like to hear that name close to me, lmfao!

@Aisha2, u got it wrong, i died a million times in that cupboard, hahahaha, cut me into 2 my foot, it's a story i will live to tell my 15th generation, lol!

I hv bin laughing so hard , lolzzz. You guys are so funny.

My brother hates taking drugs, he just cant swallow.He used to throw dose tablets at the back of a chair until mum discovered the place and he didnt find it funny that day atall.After purnishment and enough beating i pitied him cos i hate seeing him cry so i decided to be taking the drugs for him. So whenever mum gave him drugs, he will pass it to me and i will take it for him .,we did it for almost a year, .When dey finally caught us one day while trying to do our normal passing, dey were all shocked and we confessed what we have been doing.They simply cant stop laughing at our stupidity, mum said no wonder you dont fall sick and from that day they started calling me drug addict!!.Imagine the reward i got for my kindness oooo,

Liferace:

mum said no wonder you dont fall sick and from that day they started calling me drug addict!!.Imagine the reward i got for my kindness oooo,

bro druggie


Well i can't forget this either.

I remember early 1990s, then we were still very young, whenever we are to eat in the night (dinner), we all have to be in the parlor (no dinning table), so you would see all of us sitting down waiting for our mom to finish the cooking, everyone with his plate and spoon, complains here and there, no one would want to sleep because if you do, no food for you be that, that's an automatic disqualification, so because of that, we'd start a music concept with the plates and spoons, according to how old you are, we''d line up and start singing, using the plates and spoons as instrument of music, the whole neighbor would be coming to shout at our window that we are making noise, who cares, we'd continue because we don't have any other choice because if you dare sleep, no food.

there was this night we were all eating and nepa took light, suddenly, come see owl eyes for darkness, everyone shielded their plates of food (it was yam that day), then came one of my bro, he wanted to steal someone else's yam in the dark, as soon as he left his plate, (he had 4 yams on his plate then), i and few others quickly dashed to his plate, took one each, his was left with half (he already bit part of that one so no one touched that lol), after his unprofitable venture, when he came back and saw his plate looking empty, he started crying and shouting, cussing everyone and trying to go report to our mom (then the lantern was already on).

My sharp mom didn't even answer him, he kept crying and vowed not to eat the last half yam, he had not even finished the statement, the yam disappeared from the plate lol, lol, that made him increase the scream, this guy cried for almost all the night and to top it up, my mom gave him another round of beating, because she said she hates seeing her children cry when no one beats them and that he shouldn't cry because he also wanted to go steal someone else's own.

I also remember how we all use to go hide under the parlor chairs at night when we offend our mom because we know what was coming our way.

there was this day one of us offended my mom, she kept nagging, nagging nagging about it and promised to report him to our dad, menn that one na hell, anyone that escapes our mom's beating shouldn't thank God, the person should just be crying right from that period till midnight because she's surely going to report that person to our dad. so this very day, my mom was so angry and was not interested in dealing with that brother of mine that she promised to report, as soon as we all heard, we automatically turned to good and well behaved children, everyone went about their assignments and house work because we don't want our mom to remember any past offense we might have committed, as for me, i just kept praying she does not remember the crate of eggs i broke at her shop, that gave me a hard time to get over that i made sure i wore all my 8 pants that night before going to bed. this particular erring brother of mine went ahead to wear 5 clothes (including his khaki school uniform) under his clothes before going to bed (our dad used to come home late from work), we knew the deal was yet over so no one slept deeply except the younger ones.

When our dad finally came back from work, some of us woke up and started shaking under each chairs we hid, o boy, the thing no easy, by the time our dad was eating and we started hearing whisper and all that from our mom, the fear increased, i couldn't take it anymore, i had to hide deeper under the chair, the erring bro had to run out of the house (worst move ever), this was around 10pm, he ran out and stayed out until one of us was sent to call him in, he still didn't enter, so we left him there and before i knew it, i slept off.

  Suddenly, someone sneaked into the parlor from outside (around 12am in the morning and the door was not locked because of him), he chose the next empty chair and ran into it, he hid there, seeing him do that, more fear gripped me, i had to run out of my hiding place, went to sleep at the right place so i don't get mistaken for him lol. lo and behold, it was around 3am i think, the first thing i heard was "YEEEEEEEEEE BABABABABABABABABA LAHOOOOOOOOR (BABABABABABA PLEASEEEEEE), YE YE YE YE I WON'T DO IT AGAIN, BABA LAHOOR, YEEEE E WU NEEEEE (YEEE I DON DIE), I knew the beating has started, the sleep disappeared from my eyes and all i could do was waiting for my turn in case he turned to me, i was already crying when i was not yet beaten  , the sound of the cane being used on my bro sent pains into my body and i kept crying secretly (grinding machine rubber, my dad was a fab engineer so he use to have all these in his company).

  To make matters worse, my dad discovered my bro was wearing 5 clothes including his uniform and we were all warned before never to wear our uniform at home, he was made to strip (his pant included), gosh!!!!, the beating was too much that the rest of us started begging our dad to beat us on his behalf  , (our mom kept adding fuel, i bet he must have really done something bad, can't remember what he did) he cried to the extent that he was having pulse each time he tries to cry after the beating. the next morning, when we were all asking for our school fees, he couldn't come near our dad and he was the first to leave for class. i just won't forget all these things, not even when i am 100yrs old, i remember one statement our dad used to say, he likes saying " you won't kill her for me, before i had all of you, she's been here for me" so i bet he cherished our mom more than his kids and would dare any of his kids misbehave towards her.

this one just reminded me of my own ordeal  , will share later.

Whao, and I thought I had a lot of beatings as a child?

Liferace:

I hv bin laughing so hard , lolzzz. You guys are so funny.

My brother hates taking drugs, he just cant swallow.He used to throw dose tablets at the back of a chair until mum discovered the place and he didnt find it funny that day atall.After purnishment and enough beating i pitied him cos i hate seeing him cry so i decided to be taking the drugs for him. So whenever mum gave him drugs, he will pass it to me and i will take it for him .,we did it for almost a year, .When dey finally caught us one day while trying to do our normal passing, dey were all shocked and we confessed what we have been doing.They simply cant stop laughing at our stupidity, mum said no wonder you dont fall sick and from that day they started calling me drug addict!!.Imagine the reward i got for my kindness oooo,

LOL, i did the throwing-behind-the-sit thingy too, but i didnt have a kind brother like you.

Liferace:

I hv bin laughing so hard , lolzzz. You guys are so funny.

My brother hates taking drugs, he just cant swallow.He used to throw dose tablets at the back of a chair until mum discovered the place and he didnt find it funny that day atall.After purnishment and enough beating i pitied him cos i hate seeing him cry so i decided to be taking the drugs for him. So whenever mum gave him drugs, he will pass it to me and i will take it for him .,we did it for almost a year, .When dey finally caught us one day while trying to do our normal passing, dey were all shocked and we confessed what we have been doing.They simply cant stop laughing at our stupidity, mum said no wonder you dont fall sick and from that day they started calling me drug addict!!.Imagine the reward i got for my kindness oooo,

Heheheh. This is real love right here . Lol @ "no wonder you don't fall sick".


@ honeric01
Lol @ "Baba Lahoooor!". Children of those days were very strong, to overcome all these thrashings . You can't beat the "kids" of today like dat oo . You boys sef were very troublesome .

maedan:

Lol @ "Baba Lahoooor!". Children of those days were very strong, to overcome all these thrashings . You can't beat the "kids" of today like dat oo . You boys sef were very troublesome .

Ah! children of our time were very stubborn with thick skin, i mean we always liked to try new things, especially the negative ones, i still remember asking my mom where babies come out from, she simply said from the stomach, i kept wondering how a baby is expected to come out from the stomach, went to class next day and started staring at my pregnant teacher, she noticed and decided to ask why i was staring at her big tummy, i simply said i was waiting to see if it was time for her baby to walk out of her stomach , it was so funny, she kept laughing and didn't even tell me the answer, it took me 4 more years to know where babies come out from.

honeric01:

Ah! children of our time were very stubborn with thick skin, i mean we always liked to try new things, especially the negative ones, i still remember asking my mom where babies come out from, she simply said from the stomach, i kept wondering how a baby is expected to come out from the stomach, went to class next day and started staring at my pregnant teacher, she noticed and decided to ask why i was staring at her big tummy, i simply said i was waiting to see if it was time for her baby to walk out of her stomach , it was so funny, she kept laughing and didn't even tell me the answer, it took me 4 more years to know where babies come out from.

Lol. Somehow, it's always boys that never figure it out on time. Girls never seem to have that problem .

maedan:


Lol. Somehow, it's always boys that never figure it out on time. Girls never seem to have that problem .

dont start!

na2day?:

dont start!

LOL> OK .

maedan:

LOL> OK .

ima bring out my whip and whoop ur behind

na2day?:

ima bring out my whip and whoop your behind

Oh sure . I'm sh-sh-shivering in my sh-sh-shoes .

maedan:


Oh sure . I'm sh-sh-shivering in my sh-sh-shoes .

oh really, this whooping will take place with u not having any shoes on

na2day?:

oh really, this whooping will take place with u not having any shoes on

What, no shoes?? B-O-R-I-N-G!!! .

maedan:


Lol. Somehow, it's always boys that never figure it out on time. Girls never seem to have that problem .

yes you're right but you should understand why since girls are like their mothers and should understand their body better than the boys.

maedan:


What, no shoes?? B-O-R-I-N-G!!! .

shoes will be the least of ur problems, there are many other things u wont be wearing for this spanking

honeric01:

yes you're right but you should understand why since girls are like their mothers and should understand their body better than the boys.

Exact-ly . Girls add two plus too. It's still scary to them to think of it, but they somehow, they understand. While boys stay clueless till they're like, 10 .

na2day?:

shoes will be the least of your problems, there are many other things u wont be wearing for this spanking

Someone's really pre-occupied with spanking tonight . Should we take this outside - ahem, to another topic, I mean??
.

maedan:

Exact-ly . Girls add two plus too. It's still scary to them to think of it, but they somehow, they understand. While boys stay clueless till they're like, 10 .

I am sorry to burst your bubble, most girls don't know where the urine comes from, even at 20-30, most of them still don't know where the urine comes out from, alot of them don't know that they have 3 openings underneath them.

honeric01:

I am sorry to burst your bubble, most girls don't know where the urine comes from, even at 20-30, most of them still don't know where the urine comes out from, alot of them don't know that they have 3 openings underneath them.

It's embarrassing to say this, but you are verrrry correct

maedan:

Someone's really pre-occupied with spanking tonight . Should we take this outside - ahem, to another topic, I mean??
.

yes, lets take it outside to yim

Hmmmm while i was a kid sat down da floor 4 almust 4yr's+ by dis time i get k-leg ,men wen man pikin frnds day play ball i go sit down dey look my elder who was ask 2 tke cre of me alwys live @hme 2play me i lyke 2play ball bt leg is still on strike 4 dat ,i sumtymes blive it was an injestion i took wen i was still small bn given 2me by a nurse dat cosed it 1day with bad leg intnd 2 watch my bro playin futball dere was a guiter infront f our house omo men na inside guitar i find myslf o! Cme c laughs, pple laughs@me
another durin sch dayz in pry den my classteacher gave me home work 2do bt i 4got 2 do it ,dat samenite c money no gud @times 00!!,mumsy just cm bck 4rm wrk ax lastborn now na me carry mumsy bag enter inside house ,open bag cm c new #5o note da moni enter my eye i cm carry put insde my sch bag mumsy dey find moni she ask me nd bro we talk say we no bt my bro knew i was da brain bhind dat game nxt day came hmwrk i no do na moni wich i will take ax food moni 2sch na him i go take put insde my sch neker,i 4got 2put on my short 2sch i go carry my order short wear go sch tinkin dat is da right one sensitive mumsy search my da whole nd my neker found it inside my short oboy!!! c beating 4 house @nite ,teacher self nearly beat me die hmwrk bk i true it in2 canal near my sch after teacher talk say make i go find my bk cm ah!! na hymn i shout man pikin find canal hymn c bk o! round 2 beating @hm nd @sch da ff day

maedan:


It's embarrassing to say this, but you are verrrry correct

yea embarrassing, i see the sign on their faces when i asked them these questions

mak una no use laffter kill person here oooooooooooooo

maedan:

Funny, i used to do something like that, well, when ever I was walking behind any one on the street, I would imitate their steps, ie, walk with left when they walk with left, then follow with their right etc. Very annoying I'm sure .

not so much annoying as psychotic.

are people safe around you I wonder.

maedan:

Lol, brothers are like the eighth wonder of the world. You sometimes ask why the term was created . By the time they are through with u (as kids), you wonder if you're truly related. As a child I could talk back a lot and would say something that would make my elder brother(s) see red . Oh boy, see thrashing, you'd think he was beating his mate. I think sometimes they forgot I wasn't a boy - but I was certainly beaten like one, so I know how you feel .

obviously you have harsh wild boar skin and a rock-hard wildebeest head, since the beatings did nothing to change your personality from chimpanzoid to humanoid

goat is one word for you

Not the first time you're hearing this I'm sure.

if there ever was compelling evidence about the ineffectiveness of corporal punishment, you're it.

@ tpia aka Medusa aka Tranny aka The Most Despised Member on Nairaland:

Oh my dayzzzz!! Lol, you are SO predictable. This is how you operate, digging through people's posts and going to every thread they have posted in to attack them. Aw, you're such a mental case. You should be expelled from interacting with proper humans. Gosh, I always knew you were deep down MAD, but this is too much. You are despised, loathed and abhorred by everyone that comes across you on NL. . . . I can bet that that is the same in your every day life. Well, now I know your case is beyond help, I think I can leave you to continue to roam the streets of Nairaland like the demented slag you are.

good lord!!!

see rant



 

I have touched a nerve


















again






hope foam isnt exiting your mouth as you type