my girlfrend serving in of the northern states. we av been havin sum issues as in attimes we dont get to talk in the night. she tell me she wants to sleep and i allow her, if not she switches off her fone and all that. sum 4days ago, i couldn get her fone for twelve hours from 2pm till i woke in the midnight and saw her missed call (though she called me around 8pm with a private number, which she later said its a payfone.i cut the phone wen i found out she was the one callin), she told me her fone is bad, and that shes has been worried too. i let that pass, on friday the next day, she called me that she wanted to talk to me, itold her to giv me 5mins let me call back. her fone suddenly went off again. i left work, got home packed my bag, got her a new phone and off to her place in the north.i was goin to give her a suprise,on my way she told me she wanted to help this corper frend of hers(a guy) whos house was full cos he had visitors, i told her know noway. got into the town quite late and hanged out with some frends. i asked her about the guy. she said he has gone bk to his house.i tried talking her into hangin out so she cud just probably come to the joint i was, and behold see me, but she said she was goin to be at home. i then decided to see her before we changed base. on gettin to her house, low and behold this same guy was in the house. wearing boxers alone. and she tells me nothings happinig. i dropped my bag, and off i was to drink some more, now she has begged me and av 4given her. but my mind is still heavy. shd i continue with this relationship(though we planning marraige this year)

Distance and r/ship quarrel a lot, i suggest you try to build trust in yours r/ship but don't walk wt ur eyes closed cos if she is d one u will know, just follow Ur heart but do not allow emotions to becloud Ur judgement,

dude man, i've found myself in the same situation, but i was in the boxers wearing end,

anyway, all is lost dude, she's shaggin someone else, move on with ya life, or forgive her if u like her that well,

nuff said

zeal500:

Distance and r/ship quarrel a lot, i suggest you try to build trust in yours r/ship but don't walk wt your eyes closed cos if she is d one u will know, just follow your heart but do not allow emotions to becloud your judgement,

I have to agree with u.

@op, its obvious that there is no trust in that rela/ship and i suggest u sort that out b4 you even start dreaming of marriage.

i've crazy male friends, and while i'm all out  for letting my friends express themselves (one tried to walk me to the car park in his towel one time), i prefer that they maintain some decorum and be appropriately covered around me.

that having been said, the nysc experience is tough - people tend to stick together when serving in the same place and it is entirely possible that nothing was going on. if you can calm down enough, assess the situation thoroughly in your mind. were they in a compromising stance? did he or she look guilty? lots of the time women beg cos they just want the situation to calm down even though they actually did nothing wrong, knowing how volatile u men are.

great is the man whom a woman knows she can explain her position to without fear of judgement or retribution. afterall, guys are no saints either.

I'd have said nothing happened between your girlfriend, and this guy, and it was all innocent. But. . .

Going through the whole scenario - the dead phone, the inability to respond to your calls, the guy hanging around in his underwear. It's all too familiar to be platonic. The fact you'd made the effort, and travelled to see her, I'd have thought that alone would have made her feel special, enough to want to spend some time with you.

Good luck, whatever you decide though.

lexylexy9:

. . . . on my way she told me she wanted to help this corper frend of hers(a guy) whos house was full cos he had visitors, i told her know noway. got into the town quite late and hanged out with some frends. i asked her about the guy. she said he has gone bk to his house,  . . . .on gettin to her house, low and behold this same guy was in the house. wearing boxers alone. and she tells me nothings happinig.

Corpers again!

Dude its sad but truth be told, she's sleeping with the guy. Besides if there is nothing to hide why then did she have to lie to you that the guy was not in her house. And why the hell is the guy wearing a boxers in her room?

Honestly, even as a guy, if my girlfriend tells me she is not comfortable with me being alone with someone, out of respect for her I'll keep my distance from that person cos I wouldn't want her to feel bad.

One question please: Out of curiosity, how did she explain the boxers thing?

U be brother ode, let her go btw i guess shes hausa gurl? Hausa gurl like early marriage,i dated one b4.so i got experience,she also in sch.

I cant even imagine a scenario where my male friend would be in my house in just his underwear. Sounds fishy but maybe she is innocent. The phone thing is bad enough. If she wanted to talk to you she would have made it happen, then you visiting, she should of been over the moon. But the underwear guy, not cool! You need to get to the bottom of that. Long distance is difficult enough without this sort of thing. I wonder how she would of felt finding another girl in your house in only her underwear, hummmmmmm!!!

Tink_sh:

I cant even imagine a scenario where my male friend would be in my house in just his underwear. Sounds fishy but maybe she is innocent. The phone thing is bad enough. If she wanted to talk to you she would have made it happen, then you visiting, she should of been over the moon. But the underwear guy, not cool! You need to get to the bottom of that. Long distance is difficult enough without this sort of thing. I wonder how she would of felt finding another girl in your house in only her underwear, hummmmmmm!!!

would you classify tank top and short shorts as underwear? cos around here guys tend to wear their boxers around like it's house wear.

i may be playing devil's advocate, i know, but it is worth a second thought. in the famous words of alan shaw 'there's reasonable doubt'

iceblue:

would you classify tank top and short shorts as underwear? cos around here guys tend to wear their boxers around like it's house wear.

i may be playing devil's advocate, i know, but it is worth a second thought. in the famous words of alan shaw 'there's reasonable doubt'

I understand your point. I was thinking more that a man in his boxers would be equal to a girl in her bra and panties. Here, not even my brothers would be in my house in their underwear.

it should be, but some Nigerian guys need to update their knowledge about decorum and decency.

anyway, poster, please tell us, did he travel from his room to hers in boxers or he had his clothes lying around somewhere. if it's the latter, i give up looking for reasonable doubt

iceblue:
cos around here guys tend to wear their boxers around like it's house wear.

hehehehehe, cinema view 4 u huh?

nope. it's not pleasant to look at. and nothing bad goes through my mind either. it's just something i've become accustomed to seeing.

Yeah yeah, as wel as av been accustomd 2 cleavages and stretch mark azz wif no panties

iceblue:

nope. it's not pleasant to look at. and nothing bad goes through my mind either. it's just something i've become accustomed to seeing.

sounds like you are accustomed to viewing different shapes and sizes, kewl beans , hehehe

like i have a choice. y'all go down the street in ur boxers . if we had decency laws in this country, the police would have too much work to do.

You can wear glasses, that would shade you from viewing the so called boxers, or remove ur eyes,

Buh we dnt hav d lawz and d police are dull. Comprende?

lala boi:

You can wear glasses, that would shade you from viewing the so called boxers, or remove your eyes,

read, if you can, my posts and stop posting mindless replies. suck a lemon while u're at it.

daduke2k:

Buh we dnt hav d lawz and d police are dull. Comprende?

my point exactly. the guy may have strolled next door in boxers to have a word with his neighbour, which isn't out of place to him. at that point he wouldn't think of it in the context of 'what if her bf walks in and sees me in her room dressed like this?'

iceblue:

read, if you can, my posts and stop posting mindless replies. suck a lemon while u're at it.

my point exactly. the guy may have strolled next door in boxers to have a word with his neighbour, which isn't out of place to him. at that point he wouldn't think of it in the context of 'what if her bf walks in and sees me in her room dressed like this?'

From the way it was explained, i do not think the guy lives next door !!

Poster, you are just joking; I don't really know why you guys die for women like this when the hole letter is written boldly on the wall. Good, you forgave her and that is it. Try new things, try new babe

Yeah rite, i quit.

Yeah rite, i quit.

daduke2k:

Yeah rite, i quit.

KEWL BEANS

Corpers again!

Dude its sad but truth be told, she's sleeping with the guy. Besides if there is nothing to hide why then did she have to lie to you that the guy was not in her house. And why the hell is the guy wearing a boxers in her room?

Honestly, even as a guy, if my girlfriend tells me she is not comfortable with me being alone with someone, out of respect for her I'll keep my distance from that person cos I wouldn't want her to feel bad.

One question please: Out of curiosity, how did she explain the boxers thing?


well she says i wouldn expect him to sleep wit his jeans on.
there was a time she was getting real close to this other guy b4 now. i wasnt comfortable with it
after i pressuered her well, she confessed she slept wit this guy twice, but it was a mistake.
i forgave her though and av 4gotten it all.(i aint a saint though)
i try to trust her anyway. cos she tells me to pls do trust her. i think i can see thru her heart(i can tell if
shes the best gal av ever had.

The girl is silly for allowing a male friend slept in her room with just a boxer.I dont think it is just an ordinary friend,it is 99.9% guilty,but I will hurge the guy to go on with the relationship and wait for the time the same sitauion will repeat itself.I know girls always forgive when it comes to seeing a man with another babes,cos we men are fun of double dating even more than the ladies.[color=#000099][/color]

lexylexy9:

on gettin to her house, low and behold this same guy was in the house. wearing boxers alone. and she tells me nothings happinig. i dropped my bag, and off i was to drink some more

lo!

You are no more a fool than most men, Anyway you know best wats going down. This ur forgiveness hope it can endure? I guess you will be needing lots of it in the near future.

Area_boy:

dude man, i've found myself in the same situation, but i was in the boxers wearing end,

anyway, all is lost dude, she's shaggin someone else, move on with ya life, or forgive her if u like her that well,

nuff said

Move on!!!

Poster, Your life has just been made easy. Take a walk and get someone else whom I strongly believe is out there waiting. Best of luck