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Why I'm Messed Up - Literature - Nairaland

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Maybe We Have To Get A Little Messed Up Before We Can Step Up: Alex Karev, (2) (3) (4)

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Why I'm Messed Up by Mzposh001: 5:32pm On Jan 13, 2018
hi guys, I've never been much of a writer but the story I want to share is a true life story. pls don't mind my errors,just read and comment thanks.







sometimes, when I sit down to reminisce on my past, I always come to the conclusion that something is wrong with me. something must definitely be wrong with me for men to always want to hurt me. I remember when I was young and I was in primary two, we have this uncle in my compound who used to play with us the little children, one day he called me into his room and brought out his joystick and told me to rub my hands up and down around it. although I didn't know what I was doing or rather what he was making me do to him, I knew there must be something wrong about it as far as my innocent brain could understand, as I grew older I began to understand exactly what I was doing. he later moved out of my compound (where I live with my mom and brother).my mom is a nurse, she later got a nursing job offer with the Nigeria army although as a civilian nurse but she had to move to Lagos and start living inside the barracks (nursing quarters very close to military medical reception station) that's what they call their hospital. my brother had to move to Abuja to go stay with one of our aunts while moved in with my uncle (a bachelor) living in akure. (our parents are divorced nd our dad re married so we can't go there).
later when I was 14 and I was in ss1, I would wake up in the middle of the night to see my uncle's hands inside my panties or on my boob,at first I was scared, I had watched things like this in the movies and now it is happening to me.i later got defiant, the last time he did it, I told him I would slap him and leave his house if he does that again, although I was just a 14 year old girl, I knew the meaning of rape and I also knew the meaning of incest.

my name is omolabake and I attended a single secondary school. by the time I got to ss2, I got a job with a woman who asked me to be a home teacher for her son. I would go there by 5 and leave by 6 according to our agreement. then one day, the woman went out and didn't come back on time, I had to wait for her by staying with her kids for her arrival, finally she got back something close to 7pm ND I was trekking back home when I passed in front of my brother's friends house, he called me and I went to him, he greeted me and asked if I do hear from my him, I said yes, he said he has a book that belongs to my brother that I should go with him to his room and I agreed, immediately I stepped into his room he bolted the door and before I could say Jack, I was already on my back, struggling for my virginity. I fought back with all my strength, I wasn't ready to lose my virginity, he later let me go after several failed attempts to enter me, he realised I was a virgin but he warned me never to fall into his trap again. I ran all the way home and spent next few days blaming myself for passing that route even though that was the only place I could pass, I blamed myself for wearing what I wore even though I was wearing my school uniform.

when I got to ss3, my best friend omolola invited me to her house and went to buy something we will eat when his brother came into her room to meet me, much was not said before he descended on me, I still think it was planned by the both of them, I begged and fought but he was determined, he raped me and rid of my virginity. although he later put up a sorry face claiming he didn't know I was a virgin,my friend came back and joined her brother in begging me not to tell anyone. I cleaned up and left. I got home and started another blame party, blaming myself for what's obviously not my fault. after my sec school, I got a job with a company that sells appliances as a secretary to the manager, the work there doesn't demand qualifications, just know your calculations thats all, one day, the manager called me into his office, immediately I entered, he cornered me in the corner of his office with a huge hard on, he didnt rape me but he made sure he cum by rubbing himself against me on the wall. I felt bad and I knew it ws only a matter of time before he rapes me since I'm made for that. I left the office never to go back there even though they were owing me two months salary. financially i wasn't lacking as my mom sends money from time to time for my needs. I got admitted into the university the following academic session to study mass comm, during my first few months in school, I experienced the most violent rape experience in my life
Re: Why I'm Messed Up by dingbang(m): 7:50pm On Jan 13, 2018
Sorry
Re: Why I'm Messed Up by Richie0974: 10:35pm On Sep 08, 2018
Hey Miss... There really is nothing that can be said to calm the hurts experienced. I only pray life treats you better. Did you report any of the incidents?
Re: Why I'm Messed Up by heniford2: 3:28pm On Sep 09, 2018
Wow wat a story
Re: Why I'm Messed Up by Heartbender: 2:13pm On Apr 25, 2019
Hi.... cry
Mzposh001:
hi guys, I've never been much of a writer but the story I want to share is a true life story. pls don't mind my errors,just read and comment thanks.







sometimes, when I sit down to reminisce on my past, I always come to the conclusion that something is wrong with me. something must definitely be wrong with me for men to always want to hurt me. I remember when I was young and I was in primary two, we have this uncle in my compound who used to play with us the little children, one day he called me into his room and brought out his joystick and told me to rub my hands up and down around it. although I didn't know what I was doing or rather what he was making me do to him, I knew there must be something wrong about it as far as my innocent brain could understand, as I grew older I began to understand exactly what I was doing. he later moved out of my compound (where I live with my mom and brother).my mom is a nurse, she later got a nursing job offer with the Nigeria army although as a civilian nurse but she had to move to Lagos and start living inside the barracks (nursing quarters very close to military medical reception station) that's what they call their hospital. my brother had to move to Abuja to go stay with one of our aunts while moved in with my uncle (a bachelor) living in akure. (our parents are divorced nd our dad re married so we can't go there).
later when I was 14 and I was in ss1, I would wake up in the middle of the night to see my uncle's hands inside my panties or on my boob,at first I was scared, I had watched things like this in the movies and now it is happening to me.i later got defiant, the last time he did it, I told him I would slap him and leave his house if he does that again, although I was just a 14 year old girl, I knew the meaning of rape and I also knew the meaning of incest.

my name is omolabake and I attended a single secondary school. by the time I got to ss2, I got a job with a woman who asked me to be a home teacher for her son. I would go there by 5 and leave by 6 according to our agreement. then one day, the woman went out and didn't come back on time, I had to wait for her by staying with her kids for her arrival, finally she got back something close to 7pm ND I was trekking back home when I passed in front of my brother's friends house, he called me and I went to him, he greeted me and asked if I do hear from my him, I said yes, he said he has a book that belongs to my brother that I should go with him to his room and I agreed, immediately I stepped into his room he bolted the door and before I could say Jack, I was already on my back, struggling for my virginity. I fought back with all my strength, I wasn't ready to lose my virginity, he later let me go after several failed attempts to enter me, he realised I was a virgin but he warned me never to fall into his trap again. I ran all the way home and spent next few days blaming myself for passing that route even though that was the only place I could pass, I blamed myself for wearing what I wore even though I was wearing my school uniform.

when I got to ss3, my best friend omolola invited me to her house and went to buy something we will eat when his brother came into her room to meet me, much was not said before he descended on me, I still think it was planned by the both of them, I begged and fought but he was determined, he raped me and rid of my virginity. although he later put up a sorry face claiming he didn't know I was a virgin,my friend came back and joined her brother in begging me not to tell anyone. I cleaned up and left. I got home and started another blame party, blaming myself for what's obviously not my fault. after my sec school, I got a job with a company that sells appliances as a secretary to the manager, the work there doesn't demand qualifications, just know your calculations thats all, one day, the manager called me into his office, immediately I entered, he cornered me in the corner of his office with a huge hard on, he didnt rape me but he made sure he cum by rubbing himself against me on the wall. I felt bad and I knew it ws only a matter of time before he rapes me since I'm made for that. I left the office never to go back there even though they were owing me two months salary. financially i wasn't lacking as my mom sends money from time to time for my needs. I got admitted into the university the following academic session to study mass comm, during my first few months in school, I experienced the most violent rape experience in my life
Re: Why I'm Messed Up by Ann2012(f): 5:07pm On Apr 25, 2019
Hmmmm

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