In most cases, it can be quite challenging to find someone we really like. We can never categorically state where, when, and how we’ll meet our soul mate. Our mission to find someone can range from fun to frustrating, as we often find ourselves in similar, disappointing scenarios all the time. But there are certain ways we can take to help us find our right partner and they involve a lot more of self-examination.

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Step outside your comfort zone

Most people prefer to withdraw back into the safety of their shell rather than start up a new relationship, especially when they’ve been hurt by a past love. However, we can overcome or fight the temptation to retreat back into our comfort zone. For some people, the act making ourselves more approachable or hooking up, help us feel happier within ourselves. Whether it’s to chat on a dating site or to agree to a blind date, you can approach with a sense of humour and adventure. This way, we can be more open to getting to know somebody.

Silence your inner voice

If you’ve faced disappointments and betrayals from past relationships, your instinctive inner voice may always try to keep you in line and away from danger. You may hear inner warnings like, “Don’t trust anyone,” or “You’ll only get hurt.” This may make you feel inferior and discourage you from dating someone new. Your inner voice of discouragement may deter you from dating someone you really like by saying, “It’s too soon or too late to get into another relationship.

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You have to stand up to that inner voice of criticism by understanding when it’s ringing and resist it. You shouldn’t allow it to take control of our mind and thoughts. Some people mistake this “voice” for their instinct or morality. This voice only makes us to take the wrong choices, you’ve got to silence it.

Know your patterns

Most of us are unconsciously attracted to the same type of people for all the wrong reasons. Our major attractions can later betray us, because the thing that attracts us to another person can ultimately be the very thing that brings us emotional trauma later on. Many of us subconsciously choose people who are more likely to place us in old, familiar and unpleasant scenarios. You can recognize your patterns and start to make different choices and give someone different a chance, which may eventually turn out better than your past relationship.

Think twice about your type

Many people have this fixed designs about who they should date. You may wish to meet someone who is beautiful, handsome, kind, smart, financially capable, or responsible. Setting up fixed qualities may cause us to wrongly rule out some potentially nice people.

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You may always date people who think they’re better than you. But we also resist people who don’t have these traits, but who in one way or another appear less interesting.

A lot of people have this fixed perceptions about who they should date, which is triggered by their past relationship(s). Some persons grew up with a mental picture of who they should date, perhaps from things their parents told them about the opposite sex. Make sure you are open-minded to eradicate these trend. The person we may connect with or get emotionally attached to may not always fit the exact picture in our heads. It’s okay to test the waters, to see how you feel with someone who isn’t your usual type, it may surprise us that the type we least anticipate to wind up with, will eventually be a much better choice than we expect.

Source: http://www.healthdiary365.com/2018/02/02/four-ways-on-how-to-choose-a-better-partner/