vicben27:
the dude is not even serious.is going to treat you like trash! from what you just wrote l don't think he loves and value you no man will talk to the woman he intends to truely marry that way he just wants to get you pregnant and continue with his ways

I think you are right cos the only thing he's always eager to discuss with me is pregnancy and giving birth, and whether i have not done anything that may cause delay in giving birth as he has done medical test required of a man and has been declared OK when i ask him God forbid there is delay...

Pricelessangel0:

I think you are right cos the only thing he's always eager to discuss with me is pregnancy and giving birth, and whether i have not done anything that may cause delay in giving birth as he has done medical test required of a man and has been declared OK when i ask him God forbid there is delay...

from his actions you should know. just Take ur time fall in Love and have a great life. you should at list have some level of Love for someone before you jump into marriage,its a life time commitment.If he loves you enough let him go and pay ur bride price, that's if you have feelings for him. but honestly think is of no good. after all said and done just fellow ur heart.

vicben27:
from his actions you should know. just Take ur time fall in Love and have a great life. you should at list have some level of Love for someone before you jump into marriage,its a life time commitment.If he loves you enough let him go and pay ur bride price, that's if you have feelings for him. but honestly think is of no good. after all said and done just fellow ur heart.

Thanks, I trully appreciate gan...

iupac120:
[color=#000099][/color]
Be careful with the dude. I don't think you have any business with the guy even if he promised marriage to you. Do not be equally yoked with unbelievers. Your boyfriend is not ready for marriage but he's ready for s*x!

He's not an unbeliever... Infact the first i tried to let us talk about s**x, he accused me of not talking like a christian and talking worldly...

Pricelessangel0:
Thanks, I trully appreciate gan...

uwc ur Highness

Pricelessangel0:
I met this guy 4yrs ago bt we were just friends, he has been hitting on me but i didnt give him face until recently(last yr) and we started dating this feb, but my problem is since we started dating he has been talking about marriage and he want me to move in with him because am in Lagos and he's in Abuja and i told him am nt ready to co-habit with any guy b4 marriage so he's now looking 4 alternative like lets do introduction and i will move in with so as after 3mths he will pay my dowry b4 we start planning of Tm/wedding bt the problem is i feel as if i dont know him enough and i cant even say i love him or not and as if am nt also ready because am scared of marriage and that its as if i cant find my inner self so its seem as if am lost somewhere{i haven't discover my inner passion}, and i dnt even hv a stable work bt he does and i told him but he says there is no p that hes ok wit it, that i will be fine with time bt i know that marriage has its own phase,
Pls my fellow Nairalander's Advise Me With experience

If you feel you don't know him pls step back a little and reanalyse the situation. Ask yourself if this man will be able to lead u as the head, if he understands your future plans and is willing to build a future with him. If you find out anything about him now pls don't brush it aside,that may just be the icing on the cake and the warning against the heartbreak u may face later. Its your life and you deserve to spend it with a man that cherishes you,not for what u look like,or wat u can do,,but a man that u understands the meaning of being a husband to protect,love nd care for u in all honesty,pls take your time so u don't end up in a mess...marriage is not the ultimate

Rizzoli:


If you feel you don't know him pls step back a little and reanalyse the situation. Ask yourself if this man will be able to lead u as the head, if he understands your future plans and is willing to build a future with him. If you find out anything about him now pls don't brush it aside,that may just be the icing on the cake and the warning against the heartbreak u may face later. Its your life and you deserve to spend it with a man that cherishes you,not for what u look like,or wat u can do,,but a man that u understands the meaning of being a husband to protect,love nd care for u in all honesty,pls take your time so u don't end up in a mess...marriage is not the ultimate

Thanks so much dear...i appreciate

Pricelessangel0:

Thanks so much dear...i appreciate

You are very welcome and I do pray that you find that man that will cherish you,appreciate you and build your future with u ...
Stay blessed

So because he is not expose enough to talk about sex you believed he is a real christain but when he invited you to come with all your property and cohabit without even introduction you didnt see he is not a practicing christain because he will be watching you everyday without touching you, afterall he cant talk sex.

That man is not on same level with you at all. i already know he is way older. End all businesswith him for your own good. you are looking for a partner that will reason and make decision with you but his idea is to make all the decision and hand it to you, you either acept or you are not submissive. You cant handle that man's mentality. That is their typicality and they like going for far your women thinking they will be easier to control.

Rizzoli:

You are very welcome and I do pray that you find that man that will cherish you,appreciate you and build your future with u ...
Stay blessed

Amen, Amen and Amen.

Pricelessangel0:

Yeap! That's the problem because he always backed out at the last minute arrangement, it happened last dec when we have not even start dating and also this easter all with the excuse if am coming i should come with all my load and abandone the one i cant, and when i said i cant do it, he tells me thats what he want if i cant do it 4 now maybe i will change my mind if he gives me enough reasons that he's real and that was how the issue of introduction came in. Sometimes i feel as if he doesnt want the best 4 me cos i just rented a place and he is asking me to forfeit the money or ask 4 refund.

My dear that's a red flag.. You will be at his mercy if u forfeit your comfort in Lagos and cohabit with him in Abuja. All he wants is a baby mama. If he's truly sincere he should come down and pay your dowry, do marriage wedding proper, not all these cock and bull story. Smhhh.

He thinks he is smart. Biko please I beg you in the name of God.. That's a trap.. U will regret it, if u follow suit and move in with him. Introduction can be broken at any time.. Let him do marriage proper or allow visits but move in finally? Hell to the NO!

THINK PLS!
A better man will come your way, even in Lagos sef!

Pricelessangel0:
I met this guy 4yrs ago bt we were just friends, he has been hitting on me but i didnt give him face until recently(last yr) and we started dating this feb, but my problem is since we started dating he has been talking about marriage and he want me to move in with him because am in Lagos and he's in Abuja and i told him am nt ready to co-habit with any guy b4 marriage so he's now looking 4 alternative like lets do introduction and i will move in with so as after 3mths he will pay my dowry b4 we start planning of Tm/wedding bt the problem is i feel as if i dont know him enough and i cant even say i love him or not and as if am nt also ready because am scared of marriage and that its as if i cant find my inner self so its seem as if am lost somewhere{i haven't discover my inner passion}, and i dnt even hv a stable work bt he does and i told him but he says there is no p that hes ok wit it, that i will be fine with time bt i know that marriage has its own phase,
Pls my fellow Nairalander's Advise Me With experience

If it isn't a HELL, YES then it is a HELL, NO!
You should be eager to get married. Your reservations and doubt are a CLEAR NO NO.

Pricelessangel0:


He's not an unbeliever... Infact the first i tried to let us talk about s**x, he accused me of not talking like a christian and talking worldly...

And you believed? When you move into his house, what do you think you will be doing? Introduction is not marriage by the way. Move on.

I don't like dumb guys that thinks they are smart, Pls don't allow him manipulate you.

Well I have a different take on this. Looking at the whole situation, he has been a friend for 4yrs. He’s not someone that just came into your life. 4yrs is a long time for a guy who wants to hit and run to wait for you. To me he seems like a needy guy who wants you around him. Maybe in his mind, both of you can better prepare for marriage when in the same location. Most people cannot handle long distance relationship.

Since you don’t have a job, moving to Abuja is not a bad idea. Since he’s not yet married to you he can rent you a small place and agree to keep your condition of no sex before marriage until you do registry marriage. It is even for your own good that you marry a man who you know and are in close proximity with. Yes, he may be immature in his views. But I don’t think his intentions are bad.

He has waited this long to have you, he wants you close to him during this dating period. Go with your heart. Let him do intro and pay dowry if he can afford it, then you move to Abuja. Or you go to a court with your parents blessings pending when he can fulfill other marriage rites. Your choice but think well. I have been through this before.

In my case, the boyfriends desperation for me to live close to him destroyed the relationship because like you I was advised not to until he married me and, he was advised not to until I moved. So you see? He is also taking advice like you are. Our advice may not be the best solution for your relationship. Call him and find a middle ground where you both can be comfortable. Try to understand where he is coming from and what his intentions are. Also, communicate your fears to him just like you explained to us here. Goodluck.

baby124:
Well I have a different take on this. Looking at the whole situation, he has been a friend for 4yrs. He’s not someone that just came into your life. 4yrs is a long time for a guy who wants to hit and run to wait for you. To me he seems like a needy guy who wants you around him. Maybe in his mind, both of you can better prepare for marriage when in the same location. Most people cannot handle long distance relationship.

Since you don’t have a job, moving to Abuja is not a bad idea. Since he’s not yet married to you he can rent you a small place and agree to keep your condition of no sex before marriage until you do registry marriage. It is even for your own good that you marry a man who you know and are in close proximity with. Yes, he may be immature in his views. But I don’t think his intentions are bad.

He has waited this long to have you, he wants you close to him during this dating period. Go with your heart. Let him do intro and pay dowry if he can afford it, then you move to Abuja. Or you go to a court with your parents blessings pending when he can fulfill other marriage rites. Your choice but think well. I have been through this before.

In my case, the boyfriends desperation for me to live close to him destroyed the relationship because like you I was advised not to until he married me and, he was advised not to until I moved. So you see? He is also taking advice like you are. Our advice may not be the best solution for your relationship. Call him and find a middle ground where you both can be comfortable. Try to understand where he is coming from and what his intentions are. Also, communicate your fears to him just like you explained to us here. Goodluck.

. I think your viewpoint is a breath of fresh air. It pays to have a different view; even if it is not loud and popular.