However , below are tips on how to live with unapologetic partners:
PREPARE YOUR MIND TO LIVE WITH IT : It might not sound sweet , but one recommendation from experts is that the spouses of such persons would have to prepare their minds to live with such habit . Fagboungbe said that would save them the stress of being sad over it per time . “ If you can do that, you would have classically conditioned yourself to expect that type of behaviour, so take them as they are, ” he added. Also , Attoh said partners of such persons should try and live with it because it is difficult to change an adult. She said , “ Allow the situation to take its course because it is always difficult to change anything when tempers are high. If you try to raise it as an issue, it can degenerate into conflict because some people just don ’t like to be corrected . ”
*TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT LATER: Experts have also advised that effective communication might be the way to go. Fagboungbe said talking to them when relaxed or in a good mood could help and ultimately yield positive result. “ Research has shown that couples tend to listen to each other when they are in bed and ready to sleep . Raise the issue in a subtle tone and let the person know the implication of what they are doing. If you are a religious person, you can introduce religion. ” Attoh also advised that the aggrieved partner could raise it when the person is at their best. “ It ’s very difficult to correct an adult but you can talk to them in their moments of joy or happiness. Make it a friendly talk. Any marriage that works is because one party decided to work at it. The two partners do not usually have the benefit of the same experiences , but if you make up your mind to live together , do what you can , and talking about it is an option . ” Involve a friend or someone they respect : In case talking about it does not yield any result, Fagboungbe said the partner on the receiving end could talk to someone the spouse respects. This, he said , could help such persons to see things differently . “ But if this doesn’ t work, you have to live with it and then see it as their normal way of behaviour, else it could lead to separation , in - fighting and even divorce ,” he said .
DON’T BITE YOURSELF IF YOU DIDN’ T NOTICE EARLIER: While some would expect that such traits must have been noticeable in the early days of courtship , Attoh said people don ’ t get to know everything about a partner during courtship , thus, they should deal with it. She said , “ The truth is that couples are not 100 per cent sincere to themselves during courtship . Everybody tries to put in their best and accommodate the other person’s shortcomings until they sign on the dotted lines . ”
HELP THEM TO GET KNOWLEDGE: Perhaps one other way to help such people is to help them get the right knowledge on such things. Attoh said the partner could buy them books that address such; encourage them to attend seminars where such issues could be addressed; take them to religious houses, as applicable , and expose them to places where they would pick the right cues . “ Over time , the person might change , ” she added.