biacan:
She said she has three sisters including her that their elder sister is married remaining she and her younger sister....... looks like the guy is lying he's wasting her time and don't want to give others a chance to woe her...... amaka if you're reading this thread break up with him and give those guys that are ready for you a chance...... remember you're a lady don't ever trade your time with a man.......

Madam calm down.

Avedonn:


People like this are the reason I don't take female advise, read their comments or respond to their comments on nairaland.

If you take girls advice here on nairaland, then be rest assured you are on the path of self destruction.

I think she is quite bias

kuchikau1:
pls carefully read the part wey she menstruates.

Though I know this thread is already dead, buried and forgotten the moment the guy created a counter-thread, and I'm sure they're together somewhere now smiling and making fun of these threads. However these are my observations.

1) The lady might have lied about some stuffs, its not because she's a liar as some people accused her of, but possibly to conceal her identity as much as possible so that people close to her (outside nairaland) who might have known about the thing going on between her and her guy might be confused if she's the one or not. She might not even be an Ibo lady as her moniker suggests. It's all to shield her.

2) The lady loves this guy so much and actually wanted to make it work, at the same time needed some heads up to take some harsh decisions like breaking up hence her reason for bringing it up here.

3) She's been very lonely and she must be the type of lady that likes being in the company of her guy all the time. She's sexually active and it's obvious she's being sex-starved

4) Just like an average Nigerian girls, she's at that stage of her life where they see nothing else more important about their life other than being called "MRS" anytime soon, just like their peers. I've had several opportunities to talk out some of my lady friends of their desperate moves all in a bid to "hurriedly" answer to the pressure of becoming a MRS. We all should know at a stage in a lady's life, all she thinks and dreams about is getting married, as sad and unbelievably ridiculous as it is. They become so desperate that they can do anything just to achieve that, even if its dumping a prospect for a temporary ASSURANCE . This is very common amongst our girls.

5) As rightly pointed out by some Posters, the guy is that average Nigerian guy who sees FINANCIAL STABILITY as a priority before any marriage. Most Nigerian guys would always want to make "that money" first before settling down. That's where their pride lies. They want to be in charge financially. Most guyz wouldn't ever attempt going to any marriage only to later start depending on some people (even your wife) for survival. I must agree he actually made a great mistake of promising the lady an instant marriage just as they even started dating and yet to get to know each other. He knew what she wanted, played into her hand just to make her feel secured (the lady must be a very pretty one hence he didn't want to loose her) when he knew it wasn't actually guaranteed.

6) At a point, the guy had so much going for him and he couldn't handle the pressure from her lady coupled with other pressures engulfing him. He easily felt irritated by her, it got to a stage he started having a second thought about everything and that was at that point the lady in question was trying hard for both of them to see, but my guy just wanted to be left alone hence he kept making excuses. Note : it's not that he didn't still love her at that moment, but some thoughts and fear crept in which made him paranoid, consequently leading to the need to avoid her. Meanwhile at this point, just as Human being the lady is, she was feeling dejected and unwanted. The ASSURANCE she wanted was going bleak and her endurance level waning.

7) Being an extremely introvert person, while the lady the direct opposite didn't help the matter either.

In conclusion, I beleive they could work it out. All they need is some time. No need to rush. They need to still get to know each other more. It's obvious they love each other. Notice how they both independently avoided saying ills about each other. That goes to show they really adore each other so much. The u ion can work. However, there must be a great sacrifice and compromise, especially from the guy. He needs to understand the lady loves him and really wants to spend her future with him but he would need to be less of an introvert. I mean, if the lady could have made some sacrifices of being less of an extrovert she used to be, they can both meet at a midpoint (my wife was also an introvert, had to sacrifice some lifestyles so we could be both happy, she also became less of homebody she used to be and this helped us both a lot) . The most important thing is COMMUNICATION and MEANINGFUL TIME spent with each other while planning a formidable future together.


I want you to disregard whatever anyone might have told you about calling it quit. Many of them don't even have a steady relationship and can't keep one but they'd jump to this kind of thread and give advice. Both of you should come together, go on vacation somewhere for like a week and have deep discussion about the way forward, about your future. I beleive so strongly that if you both decide to make it work, it'd work. The most important thing is you both cherish each other which is apparent in the two threads.

Please do not forget to post your Fulani Herdsmen themed Pre-wedding pictures here by DECEMBER and invite Nairalanders.

Cc Mr and Mrs Amaraokafor Goldcrossxx

kapelvej:
Read my story, as I type now everything is still the way they are. https://www.nairaland.com/4447411/wife-finally-moved and
https://www.nairaland.com/4457718/update-wife-finally-moved

Hmmmm! Sorry, I got this late.
I sensed all these things u mentioned here and if u followed all my comments closely in there (her post), you will find out that I sensed financial restrictions would have played a naughty role in the delay of u guys union.
I bless God that u r picking up financially, continue that in the mean time, stay focus, don't be distracted with (her) relationship, she's not a strong minded person, she can distract you if care is not taken. So, bro, go ahead and make all the money in this life and never make a mistake to look back.
Meanwhile, I need to be sincere with you, she still loves you! She's only a 'fun loving girl' that loves lightening up almost every time. I just confirmed from your story that she's a good and adorable girl, in fact she is addicted to you and she wants more of you. I suspect she can never be contented with another man (temporarily tho) because of your high level of maturity and tolerance.
I also notice that you guys are from two different worlds, i.e. you being an introvert relatively and her, being a 'social animal: laffs.
This is an automatic shirt for you guys to be the most beautiful couple around according to a physics law that says two opposite forces attract each other.
Now, my advice goes thus: firstly, pardon her in your heart, 2, be positive about her if u feel you guys can work out (meanwhile, not based on my analysis here o, or similar others) but based on personal conviction. 3, call her back and let her know that you are doing that based on the fact that u av seen her heart and its pure. 4, reconcile with her after u av made sure that she has dropped that her 'emergency boyfriend' cos they are always very dangerous to relationships most especially if they have gone down, if you know what I mean. Then finally, schedule a convenient date with her parents for introduction and continue seeing her like your baby sister perhaps, she is your Pet Project!
We can always chat if there is need bro. Stay blessed!

biacan:
She said she has three sisters including her that their elder sister is married remaining she and her younger sister....... looks like the guy is lying he's wasting her time and don't want to give others a chance to woe her...... amaka if you're reading this thread break up with him and give those guys that are ready for you a chance...... remember you're a lady don't ever trade your time with a man.......

This is the worst comment/advice I just read on this thread.
Sorry, are you married? Do u have a Date? Am very sorry to ask those personal questions but u triggered the cause ma.
Because there seems to be conflict in information and you think the guy was lying and fooling her...smhfu! Is that how you handle your own relationships?
Assuming you are a brilliant gal, such lapse should communicate to you that they are both real and they are not wasting our TIME which is more important to someone like me. He can't actually master all d info of a girl they have not even done introduction na or why are you behaving like an 'Iya ile okan'.
If the girl does not like him, she wouldn't have bothered to seek advice on nl (even though she sounds to be too confident of her foolery) and on the other side, if the guy doesn't want her back, he wouldn't have bothered to compose a follow up post (that's where my own doubt about the story's authencity lies).
Never try to break a bond Miss, try to seal one if you are opportune....good morning ma'am!

SmellingAnus:
been a while I saw this my darling

u were forming for me

Spaxon:
u were forming for me

not at all... by the way, i don't remember never replying your mention

anyway.. good to hear from you again... hope you are good