Sorry but i don`t know what to do anymore. My family want to circumcise my daughter but I have lousy probs cuz of it. Have started to think about to run away. Anyhow i have to secure my kid.

Don't allow them to circumcise your daughter plz protect her.

how i can proect her here ? the family is stressing me she would not belonging to us if not , and me i would be still alive and and and

@ sunrise

what an awful thing you're going through

well, where do you live?

where do you/your family come from?

we'll take it from there

naija !

@ sunrise , the thing is that you're cutting your story too short

you start statements without finishing them, you're brief to the core

how does someone begin to help you when the person knows almost nothing than the title of the thread

i'll love to help,but you must come straight and detailed

It s normally for my family, not even a thing to talk about. Look you will not find a comment from ´naija I think. naija is my motherland and I will not be able to do anything or I loose all what I have. Not to talk much means to be afraid.

@ sunrise
i get what you're saying.
you have a big task ahead of you, but at the end of the day, you have to take a decision.

How did you feel growing up with the circumcission, now if it wasn't a good feeling then i'll assume you don't want your daughter to go through the same torture.

you should have been able to confide in your mum, but if your mum is not the kind that you can talk to then i think the best thing for you to do is plan an escape with your daughter.

the key word in that sentence is plan , because you wouldn't want to do anything stupid. it might mean the end of you and your daughter if it dosen't work out perfectly.

plan of a secure place, maybe a big city like lagos, flee there and start a new life for yourself and your daughter.

this might be difficult, but you just have to be strong, believe in yourself and get strength from looking at your innocent child.

i wish you luck and mercy

what about the baby father

It´s looking like he doesn`t have an opinion, he doesn`t want to fight for, says "You still alive, or?" "You don`t want your daughter to get husband?" "You want us to feed her for the rest of her life?"
Nigerian mothers what are YOU thinking? Did nobody have this prob before?

I have a feeling that if you have access to post in an internet forum, you're not in such a helpless position in Naija society that you can't stand firm in this matter.

Thanks Darling dat helps.

Another glaring example of the ineffectiveness of advocacy against such harmful practices in Nigeria; Legislation banning FGM and proposing approprate punishment for offenders is yet to be passed into law in Nigeria. Sad thing is if you had been in nearby Ghana, Central African Republic, Cote d'Ivoire, Burkina Faso or Djibouti (to name a few), you would have had the full weight of the law behind you in your quest for ensuring your daughter's rights are not violated. Guess you'll just have to e bold enough to stand up to them and say a firm no. Believe you me, when your daughter's a woman, she'll love you for it. All the best.

FGM: Female Genital Mutilation/ Cutting.

Its obvious that you don't want your daughter to be circumcised. Have you actually said that to the people stressing you about it? Or have you just kept quiet and given them varous excuses? I am just trying to find out how you are handling the situation presently. If you have told them straight and they are still insisting then there is every possibility that they will do it forcibly, so your daughter is not safe and you may have to leave or if you don't want to lose wyour present security send her away - maybe to boarding school or to live with more sympathetic relatives?

If you have told them and they are still trying to convince you then the situation is less desperate and you may have more time to think and plane.

But seriously, it would really help if you told us what part of Nigeria you are from because nairalanders from your area will be able to understand your culture better and give you the best advice.

Good luck and remember: the children are our future and your daughter's happiness is the most important thing. I will be praying for you.

I think I have to fight them ! Maybe to change some. Will try to find friends to help me. And last but not least i will do somthing against.

avomajek, is there any comment from naija? I still wait for an opinion out of. Is nobody able to speak about ?

You are being very brave in standing up to your husband and your family to protect your little girl. It is a terrible thing to do to a child. Your husband seems to think that it is necessary for her to be accepted in your culture; you need to point out that FGM is being made illegal all over the world and in 20 years time the women who have suffered FGM may well be considered the 'odd' ones. Also, that a practise that is wrong can't be stopped until people are brave enough to stand out and refuse to do it. Also that, yes, you are still alive but many little girls die or have terrible medical problems because of this - is he happy to take this risk? Perhaps he thinks that all cultures and parents do this - can you get him to look at some information on the internet to see how rare and awful this actually is. Show him this information from the World Health Organisation:

Consequences of FGM
Depending on the degree of mutilation, FGM can have a number of short-term health implications:
severe pain and shock
infection
urine retention
injury to adjacent tissues
immediate fatal haemorrhaging
Long-term implications can entail:
extensive damage of the external reproductive system
uterus, vaginal and pelvic infections
cysts and neuromas
increased risk of Vesico Vaginal Fistula
complications in pregnancy and child birth
psychological damage
sexual dysfunction
difficulties in menstruation
In addition to these health consequences there are considerable psycho-sexual, psychological and social consequences of FGM.



You might be able to find help and support here: http://www.forwarduk.org.uk/resources. This is a UK organisation but I'm sure they will be interested in helping you - there is a 'click here if a child is in danger' button that puts you on the right track for help. Even if they can't help you, they might be able to put you in touch with a local organisation that can. They also have information on an exhibition by Nigerian artists about FGM describes as 'The project communicates specific Nigerian experiences of FGM (female genital mutilation) as suffering, sorrow, and (economic) setback to viewers around the globe.' so they are obviously interested in the situation there.

madam sunrise
it is your duty to protect your baby girl. not all cultural practices are helpful. female circumcision is sooooooooo outdated .its shocking that people still do it.it is dangerous and has ruined many women's lives. circumcised women dont feel anything during sex and they develop major complications during childbirth.
the bible only said circumcise men. i dont know who fabricated circumcision for women!
anyway even if it means you have to seek asylum in another country then that is what you have to do. drastic situations need drastic measures. start plotting your escape. if your husband is spineless and cant speak up then you have to take charge. i would die first before anyone circumcises my girl. im not kidding you.
use the internet and get in touch with a local organization that can help you. your baby will grow up and be thankful you protected her. goodluck oh!

Did you see the how many people clicked on , and nobody write anything. I think it`s still normal here. But I will fight that my daughter willnot be.

@ sunrise
that's the spirit. fight to the death.! we have to kick against harmful cultural practices.

I propose a 5 Million nairalander march to register our displeasure with Baby Sunrise's Circumcision. Date and place anyone , Seun?


Na now we no go see administrator anymore

@ the poster,the word is circumcision not circumisation.

A barbaric act on females.The proper word actually is female genital mutilation.
It should be unheard of by now.

grimripper:

who made u websters dictionary ?

yeah circumstition is messed up, either don't care as long as i get my privates wet she cud be cut from navel to ass

again it is CIRCUMCISION not CIRCUMSTITION

gosh babyosisi.
goodluck to you trying to correct all the bad grammar. ive given up.

female circumcision is child abuse, and parents who do that are liable to, male circumcision is a different case altogether. my dear, no let them mutilate your baby say dem dey circumcise am, Tie your scarf on your waist and say a big No. if they insist, carry knife and stand next to your baby. tell them either they leave your baby or you cut them, and be mean about it.

@ Sunrise
Im so sorry to hear about what ur family are planning for ur daughter.
Female circumcision is mutilation of your body.
It bring no good only danger.
I suggest u stick up for yourself and your daughter.
God forbids, what if something bad hapens to her because of this circumcision.

I hope things turn out well for you and ur family.