NB: This post could be a bit lengthy but I beg you to read to the end as your advice after could save a life. And it’s a personal story, my own very true life story.

Dear Nairalanders, happy holidays. I have been a proud follower of this platform for years now and I have benefited immensely from it. But I have a very challenging family issue I am about to discuss so I had to create a new moniker to raise the issue as I want to remain anonymous. Without wasting much time, I am in my early 20’s. A graduate of one of the top public universities in Nigeria (with good grades), done with service, just got a job and with other great plans aimed at actualizing my quite massive dreams. Though uneasy, the journey has been fruitful and I thank God I am not really doing badly.

My mother was responsible for much of my upbringing (and that of my sister) being a single mum as she’s been separated from the man she claims to be my dad. So I never grew up with both of them living under the same roof. Think of all indices to qualify an irresponsible man and a reincarnation of the devil himself, my “father” will tick all boxes. Mum works with the government, “okay” job that saw her struggle to give us the best education, food and clothing and she took it further by having her own house. It wasn’t easy but we did not beg. While all these was going on, my “dad”, being a businessman had things going on well. He was rich. Yes, he was! But we were never a part of it. He didn’t care about us, he abandoned us. Few times we called him for school fees, he would curse my mum out, tell us to go and look for our father elsewhere and brag about how he is made for life. In between, in order to make peace with him, myself and my sister, while we were young, would go on holiday visits to him. Just a brief description of his habits: As a chronic womanizer, he had so many girlfriends then that were always around to “maintain” his rented apartment, he was also a chain smoker and an alcoholic that got drunk almost every hour of the day. All these he did proudly right before his two little kids. While leaving after the holidays, we wouldn’t get our school fees/needs for some flimsy reasons like flushing/hiding his pack of cigarettes, throwing his alcoholic wines away, disturbing his girlfriends. Yes, we probably did some of those but it was our own little way of helping to save our dad. So the cycle continued. There was this day he came to my secondary school, he told someone to go get me and he started cursing and abusing my mom, sister and grandma, all at the top pf his voice. But I was too young to reply. My mates and other students were all around listening. It was a big psychological trauma for me. It got so bad that I was even contemplating suicide.

Not to waste much of your time, about 5 years ago my mum and dad started talking again, with the intervention of some well meaning aged persons around us. Did I tell you that things aren’t as they used to be for him anymore? Business isn’t as good as it used to so he isn’t as rich, just “okay”. I’ll explain why later on. So they got talking. My mum would go visit him, prepare meals especially during “Ramadan”. I wasn’t privy to all these while it was going on because she knew I wouldn’t support it as I already developed hatred for my dad. They took the reconciliation of a sham further which saw my mum make a major mistake that would later put me in this state. She requested a transfer at work to my dad’s city with plans to now stay with him. My dad actually made it compulsory for my mum to do this. My mum is the “soft” type when it comes to issues concerning my dad so he took advantage of this a lot. With time, I started going there too. At least, I had to visit my mum. But the bond was never there between me and my dad. We kept on having issues. He wanted to be in control while I never hesitated to put him in his place. I always told him it was my mum who sent me to school. Damn! He hated hearing this. He wanted me to give everyone the impression that he was a responsible father. My mum wanted same too “for peace to reign”, as she puts it. But I was unyielding. He would say I lack morals and wasn’t brought up in the right way, that it is typical of kids brought up by single mothers. In-between too, one of his girlfriends got pregnant so he has a second wife that’s birthed two kids now. But they are separated now even though he has custody of the two kids. Just recently, he married a third. Yes, he’s that wayward. So just last month, there was an issue between them again and my dad’s priest came later on to settle it. I was around with my sister. In the course of settling the disagreement, my dad stood up and hit my mum. He was going to hit her the second time when I stood up and pushed him away. Damn! This is my mother, my god, my backbone. Guys, this woman is all I have on earth. She’s the only reason I struggle to make it as I feel greatly indebted to her. I wouldn’t just sit and watch someone take her life that way. While I pushed him, he started cursing me. Well, ever since, my dad has been telling everyone that I beat him up. He also a good talker, he talks a lot. He thereafter told my mum to pack out of his house “if she still needs her life” and she has done that. To digress a bit, my dad is nursing a political ambition for the National Assembly and he has failed twice at it. This was what saw him sell a good part of his business to fund the ambition yet nothing has come out of it. Did I also tell you he is very fetish? Oh Lord! We grew up seeing all forms of calabash in his cupboard, I do not know what they were for anyway. But whenever I had issues with him, he would tell me that he would attack me spiritually. He actually can. He could be that desperate. Selling of his business to find politics has seen things turn really bad for him. Someone who would drive the latest car, spend millions within a short time on women, hotels, expensive drinks and other frivolities. Now, things are not as they used to be. Sometimes, he’d be without a penny and when he gets a little later, it’s straight to the bar to get drunk, smoke cigarettes and sleep with girls young enough to be his daughter and married women too. He moved to his own house in his hometown some years back, which he is still struggling to complete in order to aid his political ambition. He is an ally of a topmost Nigerian political kingmaker/elder statesman (like a Tinubu).

Guys, I am frustrated and I really want to ruin whatever is left of this man. God forgive me! Here are my plans and this is where I need your advice:

1. I want to file a case against him with NGO’s that fight violence against women. If possible, let him spend some quality time behind bars. Note that I recorded all that transpired between him and my mum up to the point he was beating her up so I have audio evidence.
2. Write the Police, requesting that they help me warn him to back-off from threatening myself and my mum, especially.
3. Write the the top politician I talked about above and other major politicians around us here so they know the kind of person he is and that he does not deserve any political office. Believe me, this could spell an end to his political ambition as the man is more of a political kingmaker. He, to a large extent, determines who gets what posts in my hometown and that is why they all (governors, senators, honourables etc) flock around him. This will ruin his reputation.
4. Write my dad, disowning him and telling him I do not want to have anything to do with him anymore. The trauma is becoming unbearable for me.
I do not know how to go about (1) and (2) above as I don’t know any NGO that could help or anyone in the Police force.

PS: There’s a lot to say and I don’t know where to start from so I will be here to provide further details at your request. But I just need your advice, I’ll do anything to protect my mother, sister and myself. My dad is after our lives. If I am after his too, I don’t think it’s bad. It would be a case of “fastest fingers first”. We’ve suffered too much to lose to this devil!

wow

WELL, if he is close to POLITICIANS, you can not do much else they will make you DISAPPEAR.

Going spiritual is another way. But WHY NOT TAKE YOUR MUM away.,,, OUT of the country. somewhere too far and forget him.

YOU DO NOT NEED THIS DRAMA right now.

Being a muslim, are there no people you should be talking to that can help? anyway, YOU CAN NOT CALL HIM OUT, CONNECTIONS WILL DROWN U.

Good morning dear. I read your post and it's so painful and depressing. You must be really going through alot and I can't imagine how it has been for you love these years. Anyway your dad is quite irresponsible like you've explained and has been unfair all these years. If I were you I would feel exactly the same, I would want to see him get punished and suffer just as he hurt me and my mum but the TRUTH you actually can't do much about it. You can go with NUMBER 2 just to protect you and your mum and sisters. If you try reporting him to those politicians, He will be so mad and HE WILL ATTACK you(spiritually maybe) cause he spent so much money trying to get there and you want to ruin it. If you go with NUMBER 1. He will still be mad but it might not go far... He can pay them off or use his connections to scrap the whole thing.
My Advice is.. Get money, take your sisters and mom and move to a different location away from him and focus on your life.
I don't know if you're a Christian but I suggest you pray for him Anyway. I know you won't cause you hate him so much. Leave him and relocate. If you try to attack him, he'll retaliate and it WILL BE BAD.

greatnaija01:
wow

WELL, if he is close to POLITICIANS, you can not do much else they will make you DISAPPEAR.

Going spiritual is another way. But WHY NOT TAKE YOUR MUM away.,,, OUT of the country. somewhere too far and forget him.

YOU DO NOT NEED THIS DRAMA right now.

Being a muslim, are there no people you should be talking to that can help? anyway, YOU CAN NOT CALL HIM OUT, CONNECTIONS WILL DROWN U.

Thank you for your response. He is a politician but a failed one. Seems everyone knows how bad he is so they are not even ready to give him a chance. Telling his fellow politicians, opponents and the kingmaker I talked about will make them wary of the pretentious character he puts up outside and further convince them that he is not to be given the party’s ticket. So, in that regard, I do not think he has much power or influence to make me “disappear” as you suggested.
Kindly elaborate on “going spiritual” in your comment above.
I really wish I could take her away. But I just got a job. I’m just starting my life so I may not have much to do that now. Maybe, later on. However, my mum isn’t living with him now, although they are in the same town becasue mum’s work is currently there. She left him ever since he said she should pack and “leave of she still needs her life”. Mum said it may take a while (say, a year) to get a work transfer to another town. I think it’s government’s policy. I’m really not sure but I am still not comfortable with them being in the same town. We have forgotten him and we want him to forget us but I think he wants to prove a point. He is very egoistic. He’s been telling everyone around town that I beat him up. He knows how to explain stories and tell lies to whip up undue sympathy. I do not want a drama myself. My mantra is “to live and let live”. However, people should know he isn’t who he claims to be before they fall prey of his antics.

I doubt there’s anyone really. He’s very egoistic and stubborn. He has issues with his dad (another long story). Most of what he’s doing now, his father did to him too but not to the extent of hitting his mum. He doesn’t listen to his mum. There was a time is mum was attempted to correct him on an issue in my presence and he told her to “keep quiet”. So she may not do much. And she most times support him because of the little change he gives her. She also stays with him.
The time he hit my mum, it was right before his “alfa”. Just so you know he doesn’t care.
To your last point, I do not think he has the connections to “drown” me nor the allegations I will be putting up against him. He doesn’t even have the money to buy such connections either. Like I said, things aren’t the way they used to be for him. But to fight with “jazz”, he knows how to do that one very well.

I hope I addressed all your points. Apologies for another lengthy response.

God be with you, be strong.
I'll urge you, your sis and mum to stay away from that Man now before he does any more stupid stuff which could be grave.
May Allah bless you

Beverlyrich:
Good morning dear. I read your post and it's so painful and depressing. You must be really going through alot and I can't imagine how it has been for you love these years. Anyway your dad is quite irresponsible like you've explained and has been unfair all these years. If I were you I would feel exactly the same, I would want to see him get punished and suffer just as he hurt me and my mum but the TRUTH you actually can't do much about it. You can go with NUMBER 2 just to protect you and your mum and sisters. If you try reporting him to those politicians, He will be so mad and HE WILL ATTACK you(spiritually maybe) cause he spent so much money trying to get there and you want to ruin it. If you go with NUMBER 1. He will still be mad but it might not go far... He can pay them off or use his connections to scrap the whole thing.
My Advice is.. Get money, take your sisters and mom and move to a different location away from him and focus on your life.
I don't know if you're a Christian but I suggest you pray for him Anyway. I know you won't cause you hate him so much. Leave him and relocate. If you try to attack him, he'll retaliate and it WILL BE BAD.

Thank you very much as it seems you understand my issue. It’s been VERY depressing. Yes, reporting him to the politicians will really hurt him as they may be considering him for the next elections so he will fight me back spiritually, I am very sure of that. But...it seems to be the only weapon I have. And I feel I should damn the consequences and still go ahead. If he fights back, I may have no choice but to do all within me to retaliate too and trust me, it would be in a VERY VERY bad way. My mind seems to be made up, God pls forgive me! That’s why I am trying to unburden my mind and get the right advice before I act. Either I report to the politicians or not, he will still make attempts at attacking me spiritually. I know this. It just may not be as much or as serious as when I eventually report.
And yes, I am a Christian. This same issue led me to Christianity. Ever since I was small, I resolved to do things differently. Everything he has done, I want to do otherwise, even in terms of his religion. Thanks to the way mum brought me up tol, I don’t drink nor smoke nor engage in these immoral acts I saw him do. I am not saying I am perfect or holy too.
I can’t pray for him. Did you read the part I said he cursed me because I pushed him from hitting my mum again? I remember when my mum would pray for him at morning devotions when we were younger, it got to a point I’d keep mute and stop saying “AMEN” when it got to his part.
Focus? I have always done that, save for recurring distractions like this from his end.

PS: Coming from someone who has practised for a good time the two major religions, I am not in support or against any religion. I have muslims all around, even as close relatives. They are responsible with lifestyle worthy of emulation. Those are Muslims, not bad eggs like my dad hiding under the guise of one religion to perpetrate evil. Same with chrisianity. I am jist trying to be very much open on this issue so everyone is well informed and advise accordingly. Hence, I am saying things just as they are.

Sarkin:
God be with you, be strong.
I'll urge you, your sis and mum to stay away from that Man now before he does any more stupid stuff which could be grave.
May Allah bless you

Thank you for your taking time to comment on this. I have always advised my mum to stay away before this one happened but she wouldn’t listen. My dad seems to know her weakness that she likes him a lot and he always uses that to his advantage. Even after this incidence, she was still trying to stay back. My sister and I made conscious efforts to make her leave, she was almost unyielding until the man told her to pack out “if she still needs her life”. Thank God for that!
If my dad calls her now and fake one applogy and mandates her to come back, she may yield to it and I already told her if that happens, she can as well forget me. Because if she had listened to my advice of not having anything to do with this man, issues wouldn’t have got this complicated. There wouldn’t have been any avenue for him to hit her and me getting in-between that he had to curse me. She has assured me it will never happen though. But if it does, then I will run from her too before she serves as a tool for them to get me. Then, God will know I have tried my best.

Thank you again and may you continue to grow in Allah’s wisdom.

pathetic! I take time to read ur story. U/ur mum truly suffered. That's is men for u.As thing are now,u dnt need to harm,fight/report him to any politicians be it Tinubu or anybody. if u tell U dat Fayose maltreated/beat his wife Feyisetan,u won't believe it.Forget about his outside Ponmo cutting, the man nah Holyfield at home.What i'm saying is dat,those peep u want to report ur dad too do evil/fetish pass him.At dis junction, all u need to do is to pray/distance urself from him.Such a diabolical man can send u on errand from Lagos to Kebbi on footwagon(May U not see evil).U,ur sis and mum shud flee.May u not become misfortune/ unfortunate in life.Work hard/get urself busy,u'll forget about him.Finally, move closer to God/go spiritual too(Fasting n prayer),go to CCC ,C/S,CAC .May those seeking after ur life die b4 u .Peace

go seek God face biko. Go to CCC.Dey dnt demand/collect money from u.Just go spiritual. Not saying u shud worship there.Run pls run

I'm a seasoned boxer; and I don't believe in all those spiritual trash and all those tales of a tallisman or anyone alike attacking me.

If you don't mind, u can give me the address of ur dad and all requisite informations I need to close in on him so I can give him a serious beating of his life he will never forget.

When I finish with am, if him see your mother or you him go run leave him house... I'll visit the house by 6pm and leave by 8pm.. He will turn out a changed man by the time I'm leaving...
That's the only thing in my mind concerning this topic.

-The Apostle.

Begin by helping your mom see her self-worth so she can stop going back to him. Perhaps use the help of the NGO to do this. Without that in place, all your efforts will go to waste because she will keep going back to him.

Your dad is just a little worse than most Nigerian men. Majority of them are that way. The people you want to report him to probably oppress their wives, cheat on them, have baby mamas outside of marriage.

Encourage your mom to cut ties with him for good. And you guys stay away from him. No drama

Cut him out of your life for good and let your mum start working her transfer back. Howrver, understand one thing, you cant force your mother tegarsing the issue on the ground. Just let her know that the man will use her for rituals for his political ambitions if she doesn't set herself free
Don't waste your time trying to go all out to revenge or whatever. Let him stay dead in your life for ever, and stop giving him that much power over you.
His juju can't work on you, if you don't believe in it. Stop attributing so much power to the man, and live your life

The ball is in ur mum's court. There was no bond in their relationship/marriage. And still, there IS not. Why can't she just abandon the man and move on for good? The suffering part of her life, with God, she pulled through. (i.e. Training you guys).
Why going back to a man living a life of debauchery? Unless na juju. Which i doubt!!
Like someone wrote above, try and relocate her, maybe to another state.
It is better she is alive for u guys than to die cos of a worthless man.

Biko, no vex for d words i used for ur father. But he is not responsible. Protect ur mum. Gud morning.

Father from hell!

G

Dear friend, I understand how u feel but i will advice u not to act like a BASTARD if truly u know u were given birth by this Man, If im right ur mum seems to be the first wife and yu are firstborn of this man, beliv me ur mum still loves this man irrespective of his altitude towards her.

The only sacrifice u can make for this woman is to seek for God wisdom, do not meddle into their affairs aggressively. Call ur dad on phone that u want to see him.if he refuses, beg him till he gives u attention. Meet him and prostrate for him (weda u are yoruba or not) tell him to forgive u and ur mum , u dont need to remind him the bad he did to u and ur sister or mum, just ask him u want the family to reunite wat u need is PEACE my brother, U dont have to need anything from him before u recognise him as ur father . With this ur dad will come to his senses and will embrace u, ur sister and mum back to the house. Ur mum has already made u and ur sibling the only contribution u need from ur dad is blessing so all ur mum efforts will not be in vain.

Do not offend God via ur Dad, every homes face different challenges

Its well with u bro.

moscobabs:
Dear friend, I understand how u feel but i will advice u not to act like a BASTARD if truly u know u were given birth by this Man, If im right ur mum seems to be the first wife and yu are firstborn of this man, beliv me ur mum still loves this man irrespective of his altitude towards her.

The only sacrifice u can make for this woman is to seek for God wisdom, do not meddle into their affairs aggressively. Call ur dad on phone that u want to see him.if he refuses, beg him till he gives u attention. Meet him and prostrate for him (weda u are yoruba or not) tell him to forgive u and ur mum , u dont need to remind him the bad he did to u and ur sister or mum, just ask him u want the family to reunite wat u need is PEACE my brother, U dont have to need anything from him before u recognise him as ur father . With this ur dad will come to his senses and will embrace u, ur sister and mum back to the house. Ur mum has already made u and ur sibling the only contribution u need from ur dad is blessing so all ur mum efforts will not be in vain.

Do not offend God via ur Dad, every homes face different challenges

Its well with u bro.

This sounds good.

Please let me add my little shot.

1. As a Yoruba man, I will tell you this , if you are one good, you don't need to do all you have mentioned above .

If he still has siblings or uncle and auntie, you could call an extended family meeting. Tell them all these and make your request known without disregarding him.

If there's no extended family, then you can just cut off from him.


As a Christian, I will advise you to forgive him and let go off the hurts , that's the only way you can be free otherwise, you may carry the hurt forever and these are things that cause depression etc, doctors would tell you that. I need point out that it is difficult but achievable.

Finally as a lawyer, I want a situation whereby it would be on record that he can give an undertaking not come near you , mum and sibling as well as ensuring such doesn't damage your family name. A lawyer should be able to help out with that.

These are 3 stand points I am mostly likely to look at issue.

I wish you all the best.

Forgive them for?

He’s probably an **** because he knows no matter the pain he causes them, people like you will make them the bad guys and turn him to the god who needs to be appeased despite being malevolent. This is wickedness disguised as good advice. You think they will offend God for not laying down to be further trampled? I wonder the kind of god you worship.

“Every Home faces challenges and bla bla bla” only when it’s the man who’s being a monster.

Otherwise it would have been “send the bittch packing” and things similar to that, should his mom be the one who did a 10th if he did.

You think the God you’re using to justify your wicked post is a foolish being who can’t see through human selfishness in using his name to propagate evil. Better repent .

moscobabs:
Dear friend, I understand how u feel but i will advice u not to act like a BASTARD if truly u know u were given birth by this Man, If im right ur mum seems to be the first wife and yu are firstborn of this man, beliv me ur mum still loves this man irrespective of his altitude towards her.

The only sacrifice u can make for this woman is to seek for God wisdom, do not meddle into their affairs aggressively. Call ur dad on phone that u want to see him.if he refuses, beg him till he gives u attention. Meet him and prostrate for him (weda u are yoruba or not) tell him to forgive u and ur mum , u dont need to remind him the bad he did to u and ur sister or mum, just ask him u want the family to reunite wat u need is PEACE my brother, U dont have to need anything from him before u recognise him as ur father . With this ur dad will come to his senses and will embrace u, ur sister and mum back to the house. Ur mum has already made u and ur sibling the only contribution u need from ur dad is blessing so all ur mum efforts will not be in vain.

Do not offend God via ur Dad , every homes face different challenges

Its well with u bro.

Seahawk:


Forgive them for?

He’s probably an **** because he knows no matter the pain he causes them, people like you will make them the bad guys and turn him to the god who needs to be appeased despite being malevolent. This is wickedness disguised as good advice. You think they will offend God for not laying down to be further trampled? I wonder the kind of god you worship.

“Every Home faces challenges and bla bla bla” only when it’s the man who’s being a monster.

Otherwise it would have been “send the bittch packing” and things similar to that, should his mom be the one who did a 10th if he did.

You think the God you’re using to justify your wicked post is a foolish being who can’t see through human selfishness in using his name to propagate evil. Better repent .

EPP me o.

Guy try to be patient. If it's government work your mum can apply for transfer after 6 months. All those things you listed just forget about them try to get your mum out of that town with time I pray he comes to his senses before it will be too late for him.

You said your dad is fetish, I think it's best you thread with caution. Your mom no longer lives with him, so I doubt he is still a danger to her life.Forget about him. Make sure she is not emotionally blackmailed into moving back in with him.

I know this will be hard for you to do but if can apologise to your dad. You are just starting life, the last thing you need is any hindrance to your success. Apologize and stay far away from him.

Dear op, I know you are deeply hurt by the action of your dad towards you and your mum. I sincerely feel your pain because I know how it feels to see your love ones being hurt while you feel powerless.
I want to advice you base on experience because I grew up in a similar case with yours. And my first world is that "If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you're allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.Shannon L. Alder" you should try and ignore or let me say forgive your dad and let nature or karma do his job, your dad will soon regret all his action and by the time he realise that it will or might be too late for him. Thank God you have gotten a job and your mum has a house of her own. She should try and work her transfer back to where she built her house. She is a strong woman and I'm sure she will be fine. I think you guys need the distance because time doesn't heal all wounds, only distance can lessen the sting of them. So you guys need to distance yourself from him.
Lastly don't try to be brave in this case because brave, make you strong, but they also make you stupid. You end up tripping over your own two feet.” (Hadrian). The only revenge you have against him is for you to be successful, so that you can take care of your mum as a queen that she is. Again don't try to attract curse on yourself by trying to put put your dad down because according to the law of God, after God is our parent and no matter how irresponsible your dad is, he's still part of the reason why you exist. Thanks

NB: using a friend account to send this message. My first time of commenting on nairaland and its because I'm deeply touch by your message

Your mum is the real MVP! Tell her I LOVE HER!

You are duty bound to secure and protect OUR mother. She's now a person of high value.

Young warlock, Thou must be strategically tactical. What better way than to stay out of range and stealth mode.

The spirits raised you a warrior to defend your soft mum in moments as these. Step into your true office with no fear or doubt.

Don't you think your old man would've hurt you if he had that level of clearance? You are well backed and he knows it.

Respect him, stay out of his radar and allow him annihilate himself which he ain't doing badly at it.or allow nature take its course. The old must always give way to the new. This is the law.

Never go the route of direct confrontation, dirty your hands and make people blame you for the old mans death.

Smile,dobale,clean out and blank out into safety with your sweet mum.

ipobarecriminals:
pathetic! I take time to read ur story. U/ur mum truly suffered. That's is men for u.As thing are now,u dnt need to harm,fight/report him to any politicians be it Tinubu or anybody. if u tell U dat Fayose maltreated/beat his wife Feyisetan,u won't believe it.Forget about his outside Ponmo cutting, the man nah Holyfield at home.What i'm saying is dat,those peep u want to report ur dad too do evil/fetish pass him.At dis junction, all u need to do is to pray/distance urself from him.Such a diabolical man can send u on errand from Lagos to Kebbi on footwagon(May U not see evil).U,ur sis and mum shud flee.May u not become misfortune/ unfortunate in life.Work hard/get urself busy,u'll forget about him.Finally, move closer to God/go spiritual too(Fasting n prayer),go to CCC ,C/S,CAC .May those seeking after ur life die b4 u .Peace

Thank you for your words of wisdom. I will definitely get closer to God now. I say a resounding AMEN to your prayers. God bless you too!

LordsApostle:
I'm a seasoned boxer; and I don't believe in all those spiritual trash and all those tales of a tallisman or anyone alike attacking me.

If you don't mind, u can give me the address of ur dad and all requisite informations I need to close in on him so I can give him a serious beating of his life he will never forget.

When I finish with am, if him see your mother or you him go run leave him house... I'll visit the house by 6pm and leave by 8pm.. He will turn out a changed man by the time I'm leaving...
That's the only thing in my mind concerning this topic.

-The Apostle.

Lol I actually felt like doing this at some point. I hadn’t beaten him and he’s telling everyone I did. Maybe I just should have. Thank you so much, God bless you!

JupiterGeekVII:
Begin by helping your mom see her self-worth so she can stop going back to him. Perhaps use the help of the NGO to do this. Without that in place, all your efforts will go to waste because she will keep going back to him.

I honestly have, time and time again. It got to a point she was saying it seems I am not happy with her being at her husband’s house so I had to thread with care. The man really had her “mumu button”. She has come to the realization of that too. Hope she learns from it. If she goes, I forget both of them. I can’t help her if she isn’t willing to allow me. Nonetheless, she has assured me it’s a different ball game this time and there’s no going back whatsoever.

Thank you for your comment.

Seahawk:
Your dad is just a little worse than most Nigerian men. Majority of them are that way. The people you want to report him to probably oppress their wives, cheat on them, have baby mamas outside of marriage.

Encourage your mom to cut ties with him for good. And you guys stay away from him. No drama

Thank you very much. We will stay away as you have advised. I sincerely do not have issues with him having baby mamas or girlfriends or his lifestyle. That’s his cross. While my mum was with him, he would bring his girlfriends home to sleep with them. He would even insult my mum right before these girls lol. But when it gets to the point of threatening our lives, it only makes sense I seek help and being an evil person I know he is, they aren’t empty threats.

Thanks again.

eyinjuege:
Cut him out of your life for good and let your mum start working her transfer back. Howrver, understand one thing, you cant force your mother tegarsing the issue on the ground. Just let her know that the man will use her for rituals for his political ambitions if she doesn't set herself free
Don't waste your time trying to go all out to revenge or whatever. Let him stay dead in your life for ever, and stop giving him that much power over you.
His juju can't work on you, if you don't believe in it. Stop attributing so much power to the man, and live your life

Thank you. I have been talking to her about working the transfer. She keeps bringing up different issues and I believe they are just excuses. I suggested talking to the Permanent Secretary of her ministry on facilitating the transfer since it puts her life at risk, she rejected the idea. If she could leave that town, trust me, my mind would totally be at peace. Another issue I think my mum has is trying to meet some vague non-exsistent societal standards. How people will talk about her leaving her hisband’s house for the second time which reason for enduring so many “bullshit” from the man. Perhaps, this is why she is scared of going back to her own house since people around will notice and ask questions. But hey, your happiness first, others should follow.

And if there’s one thing I believe in this life, it is that this man cannot harm me. Je should try it only when he is ready to die when it bounces back. Our God is not biased.

Thank you for the advice.

mejai:
The ball is in ur mum's court. There was no bond in their relationship/marriage. And still, there IS not. Why can't she just abandon the man and move on for good? The suffering part of her life, with God, she pulled through. (i.e. Training you guys).
Why going back to a man living a life of debauchery? Unless na juju. Which i doubt!!
Like someone wrote above, try and relocate her, maybe to another state.
It is better she is alive for u guys than to die cos of a worthless man.

Biko, no vex for d words i used for ur father. But he is not responsible. Protect ur mum. Gud morning.

@bolded, that is exactly what we keep telling now. I hooe she knows better now. Sir, it isn’t “juju”, the man just knows how to control and manipulate her. I’ll push further on relocating her. I need her alive, if she doesn’t. That’s all I have on earth. Thank you

Oyindidi:
Father from hell!

Legit straight from hell. A true reincarnation of satan.

moscobabs:
Dear friend, I understand how u feel but i will advice u not to act like a BASTARD if truly u know u were given birth by this Man, If im right ur mum seems to be the first wife and yu are firstborn of this man, beliv me ur mum still loves this man irrespective of his altitude towards her.

The only sacrifice u can make for this woman is to seek for God wisdom, do not meddle into their affairs aggressively. Call ur dad on phone that u want to see him.if he refuses, beg him till he gives u attention. Meet him and prostrate for him (weda u are yoruba or not) tell him to forgive u and ur mum , u dont need to remind him the bad he did to u and ur sister or mum, just ask him u want the family to reunite wat u need is PEACE my brother, U dont have to need anything from him before u recognise him as ur father . With this ur dad will come to his senses and will embrace u, ur sister and mum back to the house. Ur mum has already made u and ur sibling the only contribution u need from ur dad is blessing so all ur mum efforts will not be in vain.

Do not offend God via ur Dad, every homes face different challenges

Its well with u bro.

Thank you sir. People keep saying I shouldn’t offend through him and I ask how? It seems my only offense here is stopping him from hitting her the second time. With the way he was, he could have picked a plank of wood or stone and hit her with it, then the story would have been otherwise. People will only beg us to forget it as he’s our father after all. God forbid! May my mother never suffer in vain. If God would count that as an offense against me, then I don’t know what to say. I honestly wish I could narrate the scene in a better way so you get a clearer picture. I cannot count how many times I have called him in the middle of the night to beg him and make peace, even on my mum’s behalf. I stand to say sir, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. These are the things that empower him to do more nasty things. I think the alcohol and nicotine is taking it’s toll on him so he could be hard for him to come back to his senses.

If I was to act like a bastard or have his own kind of heart, he’d probably be six feet below now but thank God for God. I once told him after the last incident that I wanted a paternity test, it REALLY pained him though. I keep hoping one day, one man will come around with evidence and claim he is my true father. My joy will know no bound sir.


Nonetheless, I really do appreciate your advice. God bless!

icamello! Look here and listen up very clearly. Beating ur father is not d solution to the problem. If u beat him and he curse u,even God will honor dat curse.Why?There is curse of the parents,it work.U may not see d effect now but it sure work.May u not suffer miscarriage.May ur light/lamp not be put off.As thing are now,ur best bet is to FLEE elsewhere. Change ur number/ dnt even contact ur friend,family/ neighbor.u can make new friend elsewhere. Go spiritual too(not wicked lifestyle/ otumophor ooo).I believe he'll change by the time all RUNZ from him.FLEE