How do one cope with a husband that finds it very difficult to express himself, don't show emotions any form and most of all, not caring.can't even have a simple decision without an argument which most times I apologise/ keep shut for the sake of peace. All these traits where absent while we where courting.just being married a little over a year, i have decided to join him in displaying his attitude,just to let him know how it feels but it just makes the whole thing worse. Any advise on how to go about it.

Two wrongs dont make a , !


You're the woman here and should able to influence your man to make the needed changes.

You certainly shoudnt behave as he does, wrong way to go about it. Have you tried to tell him exactly how you feel in a respectful, non-threatening, non-blaming, loving attitude?

@ronell
I understand what you are going through at the moment. The main problem here is that you have not fully understand your husband yet.

Just wake him up by 4:00 am in the morning and sit him down. Be confident to ask him what the problems are. There maybe some characteristics in you that he is not confortable with and he couldn't express himself. Promise him that you are ready to make amend to ensure your marriage works. Let him know that it takes two for a marriage to be successful.

I appreciate the way you are getting on with him, that shows maturity. Not being able to express himself in marriage is one of his weakpoints and it is your duty to help him work on it. Stick to him and remember that the grass is not always greener somewhere. I am sure things will improve with time. You are passing through a TEST PHASE in marriage which every successful marriage does.

@ poster
i understand how you feel and as earlier said ,two wrongs cant make a right. communication is one of the essential key to a successful marriage and please make sure you don't change yourself i.e trying to be someone else. that will ruin everything.
wish you all the best.

ronell:

How do one cope with a husband that finds it very difficult to express himself, don't show emotions any form and most of all, not caring.can't even have a simple decision without an argument which most times I apologise/ keep shut for the sake of peace. All these traits where absent while we where courting.just being married a little over a year, i have decided to join him in displaying his attitude,just to let him know how it feels but it just makes the whole thing worse. Any advise on how to go about it.

He wasn't that way when you guys were dating?

You need to look at yourself too and see where you've changed. Could be the reason for his attitude!

Like they've said, you need to have a heart to heart with him! Fighting him like you've discorvered will only make things worse.  

_{But na wah with all these marriage wahala oh, you guyz r scaring the s**t out of me!}  

ronell:

How do one cope with a husband that finds it very difficult to express himself, don't show emotions any form and most of all, not caring.can't even have a simple decision without an argument which most times I apologise/ keep shut for the sake of peace. All these traits where absent while we where courting.just being married a little over a year, i have decided to join him in displaying his attitude,just to let him know how it feels but it just makes the whole thing worse. Any advise on how to go about it.

Two wrong they say can't make a right. A blind man as well can't a blind man, else two of them fall into a pit. If God has endowed you with better understanding and wisdom, your attitude must influence your husband. You loved him before two of you went into marriage, never join the stream of failures so that you will not fail. Let him see what you see. If he doesn't know, make sure you teach him to know but mind you, apply wisdom. Never pretend to be the head, he is the head.

trying to find him out.
First, you need to know yourself, then, try to know him