I am sharing a true story of my life, nothing but the absolute truth because i need help, not insults but help please...

Now it goes like this......
I met a nigerian girl while schooling abroad she was living as an illegal migrant trafficked with her own "consent" but never knew the severity of what her Madam was getting her into, she thought she would do what her madam wanted for a couple of months and then find her own path and try to earn a living doing any blue collar job offered to immigrants, on getting here her passport was sold by her madam. she was forced into sex works for white men, for that was the only way she could pay her madam,

after a couple of months she fled to my city with the help of a friend who was also a sex worker,on meeting her friend she didn't change what she was doing rather she continued with the dirty job... that was when i met her and we started as friends but one thing led to another, one night stand became many night stands and eventually a relationship. "if i may call it", while we were together she opened up and told me the full story and said its better i know and leave her to her miserable life than i stay with her and she hides the truth, that there made me respect her more,,well i choose to stay promising myself i will help her get a decent job and convince her (which wasn't easy) to change because she was making a lot of money (she was getting addicted to the money, blue collar job was no more in the picture anymore), to be truthful the regular sex was part of what influence my staying, she was extremely kind to me, loving and caring. she was ready to give all her sex-money in an heart beat with no pay back, to me when i struggled financially but i never collected it because that would make me an hypocrite. i mean money up to 1000 dollars even more at times just so i could buy whatever i wanted.


well it took a lot of time to find a job because the country where we were, was difficult. while i was looking for a job for her i got a job at a car wash, making around 10 to 15 dollar a day after class to support her with the little i made for a week, my schooling was affected a bit but i was love drunk.she reduced her sex work due to my support because telling her to quit was sort of impossible. her late sisters son school fees,her house rent and her feeding could not all be taking care of by my small monthly allowance and earnings, not to mention i lived in the hostel..

i moved in with her, quit my hostel and support her with the rent from my monthly hostel fees, we became fond of each other and i could say at this point i realized i had fallen in love with a sex worker, it worried me for a while but she made me understand that as soon as we find her a work she would quit and that she never enjoys the sex with white men that its all for the money. she said, with me its different it feels more natural and comfortable which i believed. we finally found a job for her to work in an ice cream company. she worked night shifts and made decent money no where compared to her former earnings but manageable, we got tested for stds and it all came back negative, we made love more naturally than before,and forced her to dress more decent. Sounds quit unbelievable but i gave her some good morale changes. it was all gold.

The problem started arising when she began fantasying of us getting married as soon as i graduated, then it hit home for me. negative thoughts started coming in, thoughts like "me getting married to a former sex worker who slept with dozens of white men", "she never graduated secondary school", "she struggles to read and write correctly","her body count is far greater than mine by the hundreds", and finally how it took my convincing for her to fight for different life because she never wanted to change. bla bla bla..so the whole thing was like i was making a wife out of a sex-worker, and i must state that she had her minor bad behaviors like; she receives a lot of calls from guys on Facebook toasting her, she wasn't making any effort to improve her reading and writing even when i volunteered to help, all she wants us to do is play,watch movies, gist and have fun, no long term goal or ambition whatsoever..plus her belief that a woman should have more male friends than females, that girls don't support one another..to cut it short she is kind at heart but her lack of ambition and self development is a turn off..

One day she was caught by the police after work, she could not present any document so she was deported back to Nigeria, on getting back home i advised her to change her friends which we both agreed were bad influence, i told her to start a business or acquire a skill with her saved up money( over a million) and the money i will be sending her, which i kept my promise i have sent upward of 150k naira so she could survive the harsh Nigerian economy but to my surprise she started out doing the complete opposite. she goes with those same set of friends and their boyfriends from beer parlor to beer parlor, clubing and moving around for two months now, she has not even rent an apartment to stay or hire a personal teacher to get her basic education together as we discussed,she has not even thought of any sensible plan for herself.

now am thinking of breaking up of with her because i feel she doesn't want the best for herself and doesn't have the will power or vision to make something of her life. she is just waiting for me to finish, get a job, marry her and continue giving her peep talk. what i want from a woman is not what she wants for herself. Why i am saying all this, is becuase i do care for her and i want the best for her i dont want her to end up back being a mans sex provider because thats what happen to women whose only value is her body, but at the same time i feel as though i have tried my best to make her live a better life and its time for me to give up on her and face my carrier as software developer.

SO the question is this, should i leave her to her own faith Or have a little bit more patient with her forcing her to do the right thing for her life and maybe maybe one day eventually marry her and forget about her past and give her a better life...

Acctually can a former prostitute be good wife? Am i love blind or completely naive?
PLEASE HELP ME I DONT KNOW WHAT DIRECTIONS TO TAKE

Of all the fruits in the world, I wonder why it had to be a walnut.



You can't change who doesn't want change for himself.



Well, if you're ready to contend with sharing, then follow your heart to her.

Reading the interesting story...

An Hoelosho will always be an Hoelosho .
Be wise.
We are talking about your wife which is till death do us part.
Unless you are ready to die soon.
These hoes aint loyal .
Peace

It's hard bro but move on, you are a good person but you can't help someone that isn't ready to help herself!

Listen... You’ve done more then enough. You tried helping her change and it’s obvious that she doesn’t want to change for the best. Honestly, I would advice you to stay away for awhile because she sounds toxic.

She isnt doing it anymore she just being lazy about her life now

matrix199:
Of all the fruits in the world, I wonder why it had to be a walnut.



You can't change who doesn't want change for himself.



Well, if you're ready to contend with sharing, then follow your heart to her.

Bro u Ve really tried, better forget her and concentrate on ur career

am trying to do it, but its not easy knowing that she is someone i care for and wouldnt like to see her live a stupid life

cunny88:
Bro u Ve really tried, better forget her and concentrate on ur career

Joanosas2950:
She isnt doing it anymore she just being lazy about her life now

So she says right?
Been there, done that. Like you correctly noted, it's the stress-free access to the sex that makes relationships with sex workers sweet. Yes very sweet, plus of course they are never demanding.
But they constantly need your presence and 'pep-talk' to stay on the straight and narrow. Personally I would never marry one, but we could have a life long relationship.
Funny world, where prostitutes make the best girlfriends.

Hia! Former prostitute kwa!
My brother, there is nothing like former prostitute o. Once a prostitute is always a prostitute.

nwakibe:
Hia! Former prostitute kwa!
My brother, there is nothing like former prostitute o. Once a prostitute is always a prostitute.

not just in this case but in general i believe there are girls that are into prostitution who press the pause button and ask themselves "how the hell is this my destiny", and then turn around make something new of her life entirely.. i believe so...

not just in this case but in general i believe there are girls that are into prostitution who press the pause button and ask themselves "how the hell is this my destiny", and then turn around make something new of her life entirely.. i believe so...

nwakibe:
Hia! Former prostitute kwa!
My brother, there is nothing like former prostitute o. Once a prostitute is always a prostitute.

60% of girls are former prostitute, the devil u knw is better than the angel that i dnt knw, she open up to u without hidden anything frm u, threaten her that if she does nt change the u we leave her, i rather marry a sincere prostitute than to marry a church girl

true talk, i know her in and out, we have shared a lot but she is not scaling up to my standard anyway whatsoever, its like me settling for far less than i could get, but then again is the emotion of our bond being hard to break

Hector09:
60% of girls are former prostitute, the devil u knw is better than the angel that i dnt knw, she open up to u without hidden anything frm u, threaten her that if she does nt change the u we leave her, i rather marry a sincere prostitute than to marry a church girl

Captain save a hoe! She doesn't want to be saved!

On a serious note, you need to let this one go. You want her to change but you know that's not your choice.

Just read what you wrote up there, it really speaks your mind. She is not the type of woman you want or need. You probably have a thing for fixing problems but this isn't one of those problems. If she was intelligent and driven then maybe you could salvage the relationship but you can see from her actions that she wants to have fun in life and she'll always take the easy route.

She volunteered herself to be trafficked and sold for sex! Her choice! When she got away from the traffickers she continued the trade.

This is a lazy woman to the point that her laziness is dangerous. You have your life to live so live it. Send the money to your family members or save it for your future.

It's not about whether you could marry a sex worker it's that you can't marry this one. She has nothing to offer you but pussy, nothing at all.

The Real Superman
Saving Hoes Since The 90s

I'd advise u to move ahead with ur life without her, but not without telling her that if she doesn't change you're leaving

And even if u stay with her DO NOT marry her immediately after graduating.

My God. Wen i read some of u comments i just wander d kind of hypocrites u are. Anyways op i applaud ur courage. U onr of d real men out dere dat dont use a past to judge. God bless u. See i will tell u dis. Explain to her how her not improving and all d things dat she is doing is upsetting u. B emotional and compassionate wen talking to her. Let her see how much pains u in. After dat if she doesnt improve bro den i advise u too leave. U a good man u will love again. But try for one last time if no improvement den leave

I appreciate your advise and would consider it

ekanempatrick28:
My God. Wen i read some of u comments i just wander d kind of hypocrites u are. Anyways op i applaud ur courage. U onr of d real men out dere dat dont use a past to judge. God bless u. See i will tell u dis. Explain to her how her not improving and all d things dat she is doing is upsetting u. B emotional and compassionate wen talking to her. Let her see how much pains u in. After dat if she doesnt improve bro den i advise u too leave. U a good man u will love again. But try for one last time if no improvement den leave

Maybe you need to make it absolutely clear to her that if she doesn't improve in all areas you've highlighted then you'd have no choice but to move on.

The thing is, even if she wasn't an olosho in the past and doesn't want to change her ways then you have every right not to engage her not even to talk about marriage.

Remember that marriage can either bring you happiness or sadness. Be wise and be smart in your decision making.

By the way, you sounded like a good career person, in this case I will recommend a career lady for you, in that way, both of you can have the same vision.

Finally, don't rush into a marriage. Take your time or wait for the right time.

God bless you.

The truth is marrying her is a big risk.....

Thou everyone deserves a chance buh it doesn't seem she wants the chance..

Marry her ..Kim k Pusssy is all over the Internet yet she was wifed up

hillarious marrying is no were around the corner i mean she still hasnt qualified for an engagement not to talk of marry

ItzBIM:
Marry her ..Kim k Pusssy is all over the Internet yet she was wifed up

My guy if u love her,marry her...but,remember say.either the first or the last child...one no go be ur own....once a soldier is always a soldier.

op, the truth is you were committed to her at first because of the money she gave to you.

then the second was sex, because you were enjoying all these things for free you became attached and committed. and because of your soft heart and gentle nature you became in love with her and find it hard to hurt or disappoint her. then you start to see how to corrects her mistakes and maybe turn her around so you can marry her.

habit is a very sensitive and delicate thing to change. a thief is a thief, and a prostitutes is a prostitutes. they never or difficult to change. it only need the situation to turn things around for the worst then that habit will resurface.

only the strong hearted and a carefree person can marry someone of that kind of past.

from what I see you are not a carefree or strong hearted. you can never change anyone. they might change when life seems so good and goes on like that. but once the situation goes back to a point a one time prostitutes or a thief will go back.

the thing that triggered that habits or behavior will spark it again.

modern prison is not to just people is jail. because jail doesn't solved the problem or changed people, rather but to rehabilitate, reorient, psychological welfare and to change of their previous environment or the basics that cause the crime in the first place.

that's why the western prison are well built and a lot of trainings going on there.


but in Nigeria the government will release a harden criminal after jail terms back to the society without welfare or checking on them and their conditions. it will never solve anything. they will only wait for the right moment to go back and it won't be long in this hashed economy

i never collected her money so you cant say her money motivated me to stay, and i agree with you on habit,its hard to change

fineboynl:
op, the truth is you were committed to her at first because of the money she gave to you.

then the second was sex, because you were enjoying all these things for free you became attached and committed. and because of your soft heart and gentle nature you became in love with her and find it hard to hurt or disappoint her. then you start to see how to corrects her mistakes and maybe turn her around so you can marry her.

habit is a very sensitive and delicate thing to change. a thief is a thief, and a prostitutes is a prostitutes. they never or difficult to change. it only need the situation to turn things around for the worst then that habit will resurface.

only the strong hearted and a carefree person can marry someone of that kind of past.

from what I see you are not a carefree or strong hearted. you can never change anyone. they might change when life seems so good and goes on like that. but once the situation goes back to a point a one time prostitutes or a thief will go back.

the thing that triggered that habits or behavior will spark it again.

modern prison is not to just people is jail. because jail doesn't solved the problem or changed people, rather but to rehabilitate, reorient, psychological welfare and to change of their previous environment or the basics that cause the crime in the first place.

that's why the western prison are well built and a lot of trainings going on there.


but in Nigeria the government will release a harden criminal after jail terms back to the society without welfare or checking on them and their conditions. it will never solve anything. they will only wait for the right moment to go back and it won't be long in this hashed economy

what do you want us to tell u? you know the right thing to do but you don't have the courage to do it. it's easier for you since you are not even in the same country. take that bold step

i have heard your advise am no rushing anything

skfa1:
The thing is, even if she wasn't an olosho in the past and doesn't want to change her ways then you have every right not to engage her not even to talk about marriage.

Remember that marriage can either bring you happiness or sadness. Be wise and be smart in your decision making.

By the way, you sounded like a good career person, in this case I will recommend a career lady for you, in that way, both of you can have the same vision.

Finally, don't rush into a marriage. Take your time or wait for the right time.

God bless you.

Op I think you under a luv spell...* wud rather say you shd try a deliverance session esp of you a xtain! We just so obsessed with things or affairs we quite know wouldn't be so good for us, or apparently might turn out bad or harmful... Anyways, I noticed God loves you to have gotten the babe repatriated! Just continue with your life and leave the bitch; you only tot she told you all, I can categorically tell you that she only told you 45% of what she had been tru or the so called past...!
Do rembr her in your prayers and don't get lost be the emotions and all of that... continue bn here frn till you invite her for you wedding ceremony if she's somewhr close to attend!

Care for those around you, show your family the love they deserve and pray for your real woman to meet up!

Thumbs up to the real guys out there, you a good one! But you can never change anyone! A dog can only pretend as a sheep, it wud always remain a dog...

Joanosas2950:
true talk, i know her in and out, we have shared a lot but she is not scaling up to my standard anyway whatsoever, its like me settling for far less than i could get, but then again is the emotion of our bond being hard to break

my brother am really inspired by your story, and breaking up ain't an option bcuz all u've done would be in vain. from my perception you are the positive side of that girl and her coming back to 9ja made her lose that part. so, the only thing that might change her for the best is BEING AROUND YOU.
I'll advice you to get a means of getting her back to where you live. bcuz I understand you influence her life more than anything else, and you can't change her from the outside or on phone, you have to be present.
keep up the good work. God will surely be on your side.

Wow, i dont know how to comment on this, bro may what you want for yourself come to pass