Men are more objectified than women.

Yes, I am a woman, and I came to this conclusion, and I hate having to admit it.

I have always vouched for women and women rights, and equality movements, but I came to realize recently that maybe men as well need similar movements.

Objectification has been mostly associated with women being sexually objectified by men. While it is true women are often objectified and measured based on their looks, they are guilty of the same, but the matter of the objectification is sometimes different.

A friend of mine was seeing someone she had recently met. One day we were together and I asked her how things were going. This was after one or two dates with the guy.

Me: So, tell me how are things with (X)?

Her: well, I’m not sure. Maybe I will not see him again, I don’t think I like him.

Me: Why? What’s the turn off?

Her: After meeting him face to face he is not that attractive. He is really heavy, and I don’t like his style in general.

Me, being the curious person I am: Is it really that bad? Do you have a photo of him?

I was expecting to see someone who is very heavy since my friend herself is full figured and not in a healthy weight.

She showed me a photo of the guy, and he looked very normal, average to good looking, and maybe a little chubby. If I am to compare them I would say she is pretty much in the same range.

Me: He is not that bad! and he is not really that heavy.

Her: Still, nothing about him charmed me, and apart from that I don’t think he is doing great financially. He’s not in a great position in his career. Shouldn’t a guy in his thirties be more accomplished? If I am to think of him as a possible partner I feel that he is the kind of guy who would want someone to be working and providing just as much as him. He doesn’t seem to be able to financially support a family by himself. Maybe I will be ok with working for some time, but I don’t want to work out of necessity for the rest of my life.

I found out later that the guy works as a realtor in a medium sized company, while my friend, who usually works in HR positions, was out of a job at the time.

After that I just stayed quiet for some time as I had nothing to say, more particularly nothing nice to say, I was speechless, so I just changed the subject.

That whole thing really provoked me at the time as it was really unfair and so “double standards”. I couldn’t believe how blind she was to see her own problems, but was still able to criticize others’ so confidently.

And it proved what I had been increasingly noticing;

In the dating world women are mostly objectified based on their looks, while men are being objectified based on their finances, and then their looks.

If you are a woman who’s attractive you will have so many men interested in you. If you are rich, that’s great, but it’s mostly irrelevant. If you are none of the above you will still have some men interested in you.

If you are a guy and you’re attractive that’s definitely a heart stopper, you will have many women interested in you, but if you are rich you will have a lot more women interested in you, even if you don’t have great looks. Actually the richer you are the uglier you can afford to be.

Now if you are a guy who’s not very attractive and not rich, well, that is just tough luck. You are going to struggle a lot to find a partner.

I am sure that’s not the case for all, but from what I have seen in the situations and relationships around me this is the case for many. This is very common in my culture, and it is hardly ever criticized, which is so wrong!

In the same way we criticize and demand that all men should stop treating women as sex objects, we need to urge women to stop treating men as ATMs.