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Two Days Fifteen Million Naira Job (the Experience Of A Pastor) - Literature - Nairaland

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Two Days Fifteen Million Naira Job (the Experience Of A Pastor) by JAMSEE: 8:45am On Sep 05, 2018
Samson opened the door of his office that morning, sat down and started going through his agenda for the day when someone walked in and sat down without even been asked to do so. He was wearing a westmancott suit of $95,000 , a suashish necktie of $220,000 and testoni shoes of $38,000. His eyes were covered with a broad black eyeglasses and his right hand was clutching a black suitcase. He placed the suitcase on his laps, opened it, brought out a file and started reading as if he was in his own office. Samson who got tired of watching and waiting had no option than to call for his attention. "Hello", he said to him, "what can i do for you". "I have a job for you" the man responded. TBC SOON
Re: Two Days Fifteen Million Naira Job (the Experience Of A Pastor) by JAMSEE: 7:12pm On Sep 05, 2018
P2. "I have a job for you", the man responded, "and I believe you can do it", he continued after a pause. "I want it done on wednesday and thursday next week. If you have other jobs on these days, you will have to suspend them if you will do this. I will pay you fifteen million naira for the two days job. "Stella", samson called his office attendant, "bring a bottle of wine from the fridge and also come along with my engagement file". "Sir, you are highly welcome", he said facing the man. "All my next week engagements are canceled. My assistant will see to that immediately and also write to all my concerned clients about the latest development. But please, what's the nature of the job". The man placed a file on the table and slid it towards him. He opened it and started reading. After reading through it, he excused himself from the man, walked into his assistant's office and said to her, "leave the wine where it is,forget the file and take a break. don't return until he leaves".TBC SOON
Re: Two Days Fifteen Million Naira Job (the Experience Of A Pastor) by JAMSEE: 10:07pm On Sep 06, 2018
P3. When he came back to his sit,he said to the man, "sir, i am just an upcoming artist and have not yet gotten to this level. This kind of programs are best handled by Nobody-Normal. His office is located at no 7 lugarde avenue. You can consult him if you wish". The man thanked him and left his office. When his assistant returned and asked why he let go such a lucrative job, he responded by quoting a bible verse, "WHAT SHALL IT PROFIT A MAN IF HE SHALL GAIN THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOSE HIS SOUL". When the man left samson's office, he brought out the file and looked at it again. On the page inside the file were writen; Purpose of operation - to make carricature of boko hararm members so they will get ashamed of themselves and stop their operations. Location of operation- Umarari village in Jere L.G.A which is the nearest to Sambisa forest. Duration- two days. Actor's fee- fifteen million naira. After reading,he nodded and moved on to the address samson just gave him.TBC SOON
Re: Two Days Fifteen Million Naira Job (the Experience Of A Pastor) by JAMSEE: 8:39am On Sep 07, 2018
P4. He boarded a taxi to the address given to him. In the taxi, news was been transmitted on the car's radio, "my fellow nigerians, beware. This morning, a bomb was detonated in borno state. Eighteen people were reported dead while forty six were seriously injured. It's been speculated that the Boko Haram sect was behind the attack but the security agents are still investigating the matter. The state police-public-relations officer could not be reached at the time of this publication. "When will all these end", interrupted the driver. "God is at work", responded his passenger. "Which God is really at work now? The god of Boko Haram or which?" "the God that owns the universe is at work", said his passenger again and pointed at a signboard," I will be stopping there," he directed him. The driver parked there and he stepped down, paid him and walked into the office. "Good morning sir", greeted the attendant. "Good morning. Is this the office of Nobody Normal?" "Yes sir" she responded . TBC SOON
Re: Two Days Fifteen Million Naira Job (the Experience Of A Pastor) by JAMSEE: 8:45am On Sep 12, 2018
P5. "Can i meet him right away?". He is still meeting with a client in the inner office. Please you may just have to wait for the next fifteen minutes". "Tell him that someone is here with a fifteen million naira job and that he is in a haste". "I will do that sir", she said,wrote something on a sheet of paper and headed to her boss' office. In the office, she gave it to him and when he read through it, he directed her to bring him in immediatly. He turned to the client in front of him and said, "please, you can just go, any thing you do is normal". When the man was ushered in, he stood up and welcomed him respectfully," you are highly welcome sir", he said to him. "My name is Mark. I have a job and it's urgent", the man introduced himself and went straight to the point. "It's a two days programe scheduled to hold on wednesday and thursday next week. I will pay you fifteen million naira for the two days job if you can cancel any other engagement that can affect it". TBC SOON
Re: Two Days Fifteen Million Naira Job (the Experience Of A Pastor) by JAMSEE: 9:52am On Sep 12, 2018
P6."Consider it done sir", he responded and continued,"but please, where will the programe be holding and what is the nature?". He handed the project file to him. After reading through it, he shook his head and said,"nobody normal". "What do you mean",asked the man?". "When i said nobody is normal, nobody believes me but you have just proved me right. So after eating and drinking( for sure you have the money). You decided to go on a suicide mission and you want to make me your partner. Make i tell you,e no go work for you. No be only fifteen million,go make am 500,e no go work for you. Listen to me,people de call me nobody normal, nobody normal,but that thing no be true. The truth be say whenever i meet people like you,what ever de wrong with me quits immediatly. Listen and let me warn you- i should be speaking correct English so you will know i am very very normal-when ever you want to die, don't remember me. If anybody tells you nobody normal,tell him that guy is normal. Please leave my office".TBC
Re: Two Days Fifteen Million Naira Job (the Experience Of A Pastor) by kdavid07(m): 5:09pm On Sep 12, 2018
grin very funny. continue na
Re: Two Days Fifteen Million Naira Job (the Experience Of A Pastor) by JAMSEE: 9:13pm On Sep 13, 2018
P7. He left the office and took another taxi. In the taxi he asked the driver of where he could get a good comedian for a programe. "Ah! dem de find that one? Dem full ground now", the driver quiped. "Nobody-Normal dee this side, The-Law dee the other local goment. Dem full ground kee, abi you want make i carry you go dem office", he asked. "Yes, but firstly, start with this one you just mentioned. You said his name is The-Law?" "Yes sir", responded the driver and continued, "every body know that guy. He de talk, He de talk no be small". "Then take me to his office. I hope its not far from here", his passenger asked. "E far small, but na only #800 wee you go give me." "Its okay. Lets get there fast ". After some minutes drive, the driver packed and pointed to an office. "That third door for the second floor, na him office be that". TBC SOON
Re: Two Days Fifteen Million Naira Job (the Experience Of A Pastor) by JAMSEE: 8:59pm On Sep 18, 2018
P8. Take your money", he said to him while giving him #2000. "Please write for me the names and offices of other comedians you know". "Ah! oga, I no sabi write oh! abi make I de tell you make you de write?" "That's okay. Just say them and let me write". He told him the names and offices of some comedians he knew, which he wrote down before moving on towardsThe-Law's office. When he walked into his office, he was reading a newspaper. After telling him his mission, he rolled the rollable chair he was sitting on to the left and to the right and said, "ah! the ministry is moving to the permanent site. Where is the programe holding and what is the nature?" After hearing from him, he shook his head. "this no bi to permanent site oh!" he said and called him, "Oga, this will just swiftly move us to eternal rest". " I don't understand you" said mark, "what do you mean?" he continued. "I mean rest", The-Law responded, "do you want to rest? Are you tired of life?" TBC SOON
Re: Two Days Fifteen Million Naira Job (the Experience Of A Pastor) by JAMSEE: 12:51am On Sep 19, 2018
P9. You see, I talk. I make jokes of people what be their social status. I make jokes of Atiku the former vice president. I make jokes of Obasanjo the former president of Nigeria. While making my jokes I would be pleading for understanding."I beg oh! na weting small pickin go chop wee i de find oh! make una no take am seriouse oh!". But these people who always cover their faces, how are you going to be pleading with them. In short, have you ever heard gbum before?" "What is gbum?" the man asked looking at him. "I mean, have you ever heard gbum and every thing around you disappeared and one broken bone flew from where you can't tell -wa wa wa- towards your head?" "I haven't gotten anything from all you have been saying. please, what do you mean?" "oga, leave my office",he told him . "what is this" mark asked. "na wetin soldier carry gun de run for, na im you want make i carry joke go settle abi! e no work for you".the man remained silent. Leave my office one! Leave my office two! mm! eh!!" The man woke up and left.TBC
Re: Two Days Fifteen Million Naira Job (the Experience Of A Pastor) by JAMSEE: 11:14pm On Dec 31, 2020
The office assistant of No-body normal went home and discussed the day with her brother . After listening, he asked her, 'howmuch did you say is involve'. 'Fifteen million naira', repeated his sister. 'You are all foolish', he berated them. Fifteen million naira flew past your eyes and you are there talking trash. 'I dont understand you brother, didnt you hear about Sambisa forest' , his sister asked bewilded. 'YOU are the first person he meet when he came into the office, did you take his contact number?' he asked his sister ignoring her question. 'No, i just directed him to my boss' office', she responded. ' I hope you see it, you are just foolish ', her brother concluded. 'But brother, I dont understand you anymore oh. I am not foolish at all', his sister protested. 'You are foolish. You are very very foolish'. his brother insisted. 'In these day's economic condition, someone mentioned fifteen million naira around you and you didnt take his contact. Tomorrow, make sure you take his contact from your boss' clients file befor coming home', he ordered her. 'Ehh! brother ehh! Sambisa forest! I am not involved oh!' his sister exclaimed.

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