HOW TO GRIEVE WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN

Some of the things that causes us to grieve happen more suddenly than expected. This can make it difficult to know how to handle our emotions in the aftermath of such event. In cases where our loved ones are involved, even if they had been sick for a long time prior to their death, losing them at any moment may still come as a sudden shock. The reason being that none of us truly want to lose anyone we love so much. I don’t think we really prepare to not having our loved ones around. It may sound a bit sentimental. I think it’s just part of our human nature.

There are six stages of grief everyone experiences during their mourning period. The duration of each phase may be totally dependent on the one who’s grieving, but we all, in many ways, go through these stages when some bad things happen to us.

When people suddenly experience the loss of a loved one, the first thing they face is a denial of the event. This happens because of the initial shock. Denial is actually pretending like what had happened is not true.

From denial, anger may set in, as you suddenly realize that the event may have actually happened. You are then faced with so much pain that may leave you helpless. Most people turn these feelings into anger. You may become angry at God, because you feel He should have done something to prevent your loss. Some would become bitter, thinking life as unfair to them; thus becoming angry at life. Some others would turn this anger towards other people, and use blaming methods at trying to make these other persons the cause of their issues.

The key here is to realize that no one is to blame for what may, and may not have happened. Your frustrations are totally understandable, because of how much pain you feel. But turning it out on others isn’t the solution.

When the anger settles, a form of bargaining occurs. This is the stage when you are focused on what you could have done to prevent the situation. This is where some would make oaths with God. Be careful though! You don’t want to make promises you can’t keep after your grieving is totally over and you are now starting to enjoy life, again.

As you count your losses, and how much you will miss this person, sadness may begin to overwhelm you. At this stage, depression sets in. You may refuse eating, unable to sleep; while all you do is cry endlessly. One of the things that is common here is feelings of regret. Those feelings at this stage is not unusual, and it is an offshoot of the bargaining stage, where you wished you, or some super powers, could have done something to prevent the loss.

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