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*ONE YEAR AFTER SHE CALLED ME AN IDIOT...*

By Dr Oliver Mubanga.

*Important Lessons*

She asked a question in a general Group on a WhatsApp platform.
I responded to the question professionally.

She tagged my response and typed: *"you're an idiot"*

Upon thinking through her response, I calmly replied: *"Thanks so much. Now that you have pointed out my attention to this idiotic part of me, I'll surely work on it, God bless you my dear..."*

*And the whole platform shook. Over 118 people commented. They were so surprised by my calm response. Of course she was terribly bashed to the extent that she "left" the Group.*

*An hour later she called me to apologise* for how stupid she's been etc. I forgave her and we became friends.

Then I later ended up handling her premarital counselling sessions.

Two days ago, on my Birthday, she and her husband surprised me with a gift worth over $10,000. This was a year after she called me an idiot.

*Life Lessons from this experience:*

*1. MATURITY:* Your reaction to negative feedbacks or situations shows how mature you are.

*2. CHOICE:* You have the power of choice whenever anybody does or says anything offensive to you.

*3. SELF CONTROL:* If someone calls you anything negative and you lose yourself and begin to fight or shout or do anything terrible, you only prove them right.

*4. SILENCE IS GOLDEN:* It is better to keep quiet and let people think you're a fool, than to open your mouth to enable them confirm you're truly a fool.

*5. DISCERNMENT:* You cannot throw both the baby and the dirty water away from the bathing bowl because the baby had pooed in the bath water.

*6. POSITIVE POWER:* You have the power to win people through your maturity and composure and not through overly being more sanctimonious than the person.

*7. POSITIVE IMPACT:* Life is all about people. If I had responded to her negatively, I would have lost a friend forever.

*8. WISDOM:* There are people who are sent to you by God to help your journey in life to be worthwhile, your meeting point might be at a fighting point. Be wise, even when you're angry.

*9. HUMILITY:* She was humble enough to call and apologized.

*10. RECONCILIATION:* Maybe there's someone you need to reconcile with today, go ahead and do just that.

We can all get better with ourselves, with these 10 key lessons.

I found this interesting and thought it good to share.

Good morning and happy weekend, folks

I tasted all that is sweet, but I found nothing sweeter than good health. And I tasted all that was bitter, but nothing was more bitter than being in need of good people. And I carried both, iron, and rocks, but nothing was heavier than debt. I discovered therefore that life is comprised only of two days: A day for you and a day against you! So when it is for you, be not reckless; and when it is against you, be patient. Because both days will expire!!*
*If you can't be a bridge to connect people, then don't be a wall to separate them. If you can't be a light to brighten people's good deeds then don't be darkness covering their efforts. If you can't be water to help people's crops sprout, then don't be a pest destroying their crops. If you can't be a vaccine to give life, then don't be a virus to terminate it. If you can't be a pencil to write anyone's happiness, then try to be a nice eraser to remove their sadness.*

*We can only be each other's keeper*.
*TOGETHER WE ARE GREAT*

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*VALUE ADDING WIFE (VAW)*

Many think that Jacob loved Rachael because she was beautiful....Noooooooo! Beauty only attracts a man to a woman but what determines his true love for a woman goes beyond beauty. *Rachael was not just beautiful, she was also industrious per excellence!*

Why do we have a lot of beautiful ladies today yet no husband? Because beauty without value and virtue is like a smoke. What impressed and attracted Jacob to Rachael was her industriousness.

While her brothers and elder sister Leah were at home, Rachael singlehandedly brought her father's flock to the well to give them drink. That was where Jacob met her for the first time. *"No sensible man can resist a woman who is beautiful and industrious".*

What would have made a man worked for *seven years for the woman he loved and yet felt like he just worked for seven days? ........ Value!*

My man doesn't respect me, it's because you are not a Value-Adding-Woman (VAW).

Do you realize that Jacob did not pay Leah's bride price? They gave him Leah as bonus. Because she has no value. This was why Jacob had no respect for her and her children, hence he set them as first entourage when he was going to meet his angry brother.

*If you force yourself on a man, he may never respect you. If he got you cheaply, he will never respect you. If you are not adding value to his life, he will never respect you.*

Even after marriage, Leah had to be begging and buying the attention of her own husband while on the other hand, Rachael was practically *in control of Jacob*, nor be jazz oooo, it's *Value!*

Rachael was a shepherd in the midst of her siblings, *a profession meant for men.* She was in control of her father's business. This was what glued Jacob to her.

*Gen 29:9* *_Jacob was still talking with them when Rachel arrived with her father’s flock, for she was a shepherd._*

How can boys be in the house and a girl (last daughter of the house for that matter) be the one to tend her father's flock and family business? *Industriousness!*

After Jacob slept with Leah, he still went for Rachael. *Sex don't keep a man, value does.*

Leah had 5 children, Rachael had none, yet Jacob still loved Rachael more than Leah. *Having children is good but adding value is better.*

*Don't ever think you can pin a man down with children. If you like give him a nation, if you are not adding value to his life, he will walk away someday.*

*I'm passionately pleading with our parents not to raise their daughters in a way they will become a liability to a man.*

*Make your daughter a shepherd before her Jacob arrives. Give her a source of livelihood before marriage. If you want her husband to respect her, inculcate in her, great morals and values, give her quality education and hopeful future. Don't train her merely because of the bride price you want to collect on her head.*

Even though Rachael his daughter has been married off, Laban lived on the flock kept by his daughter even after she was married out.

This is why many men fall for their ugly hardworking housemaids than their beautiful but lazy house wife.

We indirectly train our housemaids to be industrious while we train our daughters to be lazy and dependent. Whatever you invest in your daughter today, the future will tell.....!

*Be a Value-Adding-Woman and your man will respect you for life.*

*I believe this piece blessed you, please also invest in someone!* God bless you and have a most blessed week!

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*A poor man always think the rich man made his wealth out of luck or in a dubious way.*

*And the rich man believes the poor is poor because he is lazy.*

*A young lady who got married very early thinks ladies who are finding it hard to get married have bad character.*

*A young Man/Lady who just graduated and gets a job immediately thinks he/she is smarter than others.*

*While a woman who just got married and start giving birth sees "barren" women as people who lived a wayward life.*

If only the poor knew the price the rich paid to get to the top and if only the rich knows the battles, challenges that the poor is going through, none will ever form a theory about each other.

If the poor can't appreciate the rich man's success let him mind his business if it is easy to be rich he wouldn't have been poor.

And if the rich won't help the poor grow at least he should not kill the spirit of a struggling man.

If only you know what people endure or fight behind the scene you will always thank God for your life. Until you walk in people's shoes, you will never know how hard the journey is.

*Let's Help each other grow!*

"HELP SOMEONE TO MAKE IT IN LIFE"

*Kenyan runner Abel Mutai was only a few meters from the finish line, but got confused with the signs and stopped, thinking he had finished the race. BUT Spanish man, Ivan Fernandez, was right behind him and realizing what was going on, started shouting to the Kenyan to keep running. Mutai did not know Spanish and did not understand.*

*Realizing what was going on, Fernandez pushed Mutai to victory.*

*A reporter asked Ivan, "Why did you do this?" Ivan replied, "My dream is that one day we can have some sort of community life where we push ourselves and also others to win."*

*The reporter insisted "But why did you let the Kenyan win?" Ivan replied, "I didn't let him win, he was going to win. The race was his."*

*The reporter insisted and asked again, "But you could have won!" Ivan looked at him and replied: "But what would be the merit of my victory? What would be the honor of this medal? What would my Mother think of it?"*

*The values are transmitted from generation to generation. What values do we teach our children and how much do you inspire others to earn? Most of us take advantage of people's weaknesses instead of helping to strengthen them.*

*PLEASE DO NOT DESTROY, LET'S PUSH ONE ANOTHER TO THE FINISHING LINE. WE ALL DESERVE VICTORY.*

It shall be well with us. Thanks and do have a blessed and fulfilled week. ��.

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