Is Marital Love Depreciative?

In marriage, when the couples are starting, they are at each others heart, they call each other a particular name ( love, honey, darling, mine etc). As time goes on, their love for each other starts reducing, they may starts sleeping in different beds, accusing each other of infidelity, talk to each other wish harsh voice, care less for each other and so on and may end up in divorce. If they are to remain dates only, such a thing may not occur.

Fellow Nairaland users, is marrital love depreciative in nature.

Well dear, just like everyother thing in life, the issue has no constant answer

I've witnessed people fall in love, get married and be as in love for the rest of their lives. I've also witnessed people fall in love, get married and later cause each other pains that make them wish they never met and they end up walking out on each other (you begin to wonder what happened to the talk-of-the-day love they once shared)

on the other hand i've witnessed people fall in love, later fall out of love but stick together for some mutual reasons like kids, family, social life and other stuff hence i call it a marriage of tolerance; the love is gone but they still manage to share the same roof, tolerating each other. This group do care for each other on the other hand

And then there is a group where the people are forced into marriage with no love in the first place, these people start by tolerating each other and at the long run, they grow to love each other and grow more in love for each day that passes

It all depends on the individuals involved: you see i love saying that love is like a flower, when watered and taken care of, it blossoms and when neglected, whithers

Its something everyone of us has to find out, each on its own since none of us sees into the future to know for sure which of the above mentioned groups our place will fall into. We all have to do our best to make a marriage work, always try to remember what was once, it does help atimes

Deciding to go solo all your llife to prevent the dissappointment doesn't necessarily help because you might still end up miserable and lonely, so why not give it a shot??  

IN A NUT-SHELL I'LL SAY SOME MARITAL LOVE MIGHT BE DEPRECIATIVE, BUT IT DOESN'T ERASE THE FACT THAT SOME ARE APPRECIATIVE

Yes it is as well as any kinda love we have for anything.

Take my car, when it was just bought, i loved it, dreamt about it, treated it like my princess and loved it but now, the love has faded and its just something i use to get around.

Its only natural to loose interest in something especially marriage.
However i think the word marriage means making the whole relationship work, staying together against all odds and working things out. Like someone mentioned earlier in another topic - you just have to eat, pray,talk and sleep together.

I respect and take my hat off to whoever has been married for more than five years - they deserve my applause cause its just not an easy venture but i know that through God- it shall be possible.

most men and women forget that to get the best out of anything in life you have to give,build,invest,sacrifice a lot to it. marriages die because both partners go to sleep and forget to continually pour oil into the lamp of their relationship. they would rather trade blame on who caused the relationship to wither than work on the solution of either reviving or sustaining the relationship. marriage can work and do work if both parties commit to the building of the union.
love goes beyond feelings and fluttering of the stomach or racing heartbeat, you must invest yourself to make it work. married people can look for ways to reinvent those moments that stole their hearts away.

Love is what kicks in when the initial infatuation has worn off. Its infatuation that depreciates with time. Real love endures for a lifetime.

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Love in Marriage can appreciate but its a lot of hard work from both parties but where only one person is struggling to hold the centre together it can be a misery adventure. Its just human nature to go gis-gis for new things and if you don't work on maintaining what you have to preserve its freshness or appeal the interest wanes and of course it depreciates and then your tolerance level comes to test. For africans, its not easy to walk away at this stage so they stay but window shop.

well said.

all things come to an end, good or bad. but you can make it worth it while u still av it, the memories can be haunting & regretful when its bad, but blissful and splendid when its good. its up to the parties in it.

The two lover birds determines how strong that love would be as they grow older. I have met couples who had the love thingy rosy for the first 3 years and after that started an American -Vietnamese war , yet the were stil under the same roof . Today they are both in their late sixties with happy children , one home and a renewed love , in fact they still sleep on the same bed and ?? . What faces one , turns the back to another.
depreciation or appreciation is not direct or constant

cute-ass:



IN A NUT-SHELL I'LL SAY SOME MARITAL LOVE MIGHT BE DEPRECIATIVE, BUT IT DOESN'T ERASE THE FACT THAT SOME ARE APPRECIATIVE

I Love You. Well Said.

With the right one,love is a beautiful thing.
You just have to carefully find that right person.

Its just a funny thingy but its just like that,when you have just met each other,u have a lot of things to discuss,have fun,take each other out irrespective of any other factor,you ignore mistakes because you have not known the do's and donts of your partner,over time,u dont ignore mistakes again because you think you have spent enough time together and you should have known each other well enough.

Boredom sets in because you are doing thesame thing over and over again and that why it takes a lot of love and tolerance to keep a home,even though you quarel,you will make up.Its meant to be like that.

I said it in an earlier topic that so many stuffs should be looked into in Nigerian relationships,public display of affection should be allowed and partners should get more intimate and try to spice up their love life,even if it will depreciate, it will take a longer time.

Nigerians fall in love for all the wrong reasons.Thats why we have all these problem,with the way we claim to serve God we are still morally bankrupt. If u don't date somebody cos of his or her money or influence it will last.
BUT tell me how many people date cos ho the guy is nice,Not anymore u need to have money and position.
Until maybe when our economy is OK when u don't put money first in every thing.thing will continue to be like this.
God help Nigeria

i agree with you kliverpool, a lot of relationships are based on what u have rather than the character/personality, and when we start on the footing of materialism we are bound to encounter difficulties along the way, money can't buy u happiness,trust,loyalty,fidelity,peace.God will help us.

This not only common in Nigeria now but the rate of divorce everywhere and the number of single parents are so high, and even more common now within the Nigeria community abroad like never before all due to Marital Love Depreciation.

Love is like a flame that needs to be kept burning, if not, the fire will die down and turn into cold ashes.

Married couples need to appreciate each other often and date each other constantly, go on vacations, creative activities that would take all the stress off, marriage seminars and other things that can help the relations (invest time in your marriage basically, spend quality time together as a family). When you just sit back, relax and take each other for granted anything can happen.

Communication is equally very important, before you will go and start telling some so called friend about your family problems it's better to call the spouse and solve that problem immediately before it get out of hands and both parties start keeping diaries of bad deeds which would eventually climax into divorce due to irreconcilable differences, Lord have MERCY!

I have found the key to happines is understanding what is ,and why it is. My uncle once told my cousin someting when he heard his girlfriend moved into his house.He said "friendship is sweet on a visiting basis"(in my language).
What this simply means is move into the same house with your best friend and you will see how difficult it can be if you did not understand each other very well.Not to talk of someone you did not know very well. Being in love does some thing,it makes you see the other person through a fog which unfortunately tends to clear.
When that hot love starts to clear and there is nothing to replace it, boooom.Most couples even after long courtship may not know each other very well mostly because both the guy and the woman are trying to show thier best side , when they come to live together unless they try to be very accommodating and understanding they start getting on each others nerves.This is worsened if they also don't work on keeping the bedroom action hot.
If these things come together with the stress of having to bring up children, love goes out the window and the fireworks begin.
Understanding ,accommodation,companionship,sharing,caring and good sex keeps the fire burning.Thats my view.

Interesting topic! See a related thread

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-45783.0.html

whatever you get out of it is determined by your input,all things being equal.

@poster! yes it is. We now have physical and material attraction than sacrificial love.

sometimes it depreciates, and that is when they start cheating on each other.

but generally i think they just start getting used to each other and have become predictable and know that they will always be around, and just fall into a pattern, but its just like having your arm,and not feeling it is there until you need to use it to lift or touch.
all in all, me i have been married for 6yrs, and i still think my huby is hot  , and he still thinks i walk like a horse  as he thoght the first time he met me.

It is not the love that is depreciative, i think it is the people that are involved, cos the man stopped doing those things that he used to do to stand out of the crowd all cos he was madly in love, the woman stopped to turn the head of the man as well, cos she is now all relaxed and has babies and all that.
They need to always find a way to spark it up and spice the romance.
They need to be each other's bestfriend and all the rest will fall easily into place

funny enough, we tend to overlook certain things in life when we get too familiar to it. But that doesnt implies that if we sincerely appreciate those things we will lose interest in them when they are too long with us.

Love, real love, is not affected by the law of diminishing return. It is in fact true love that bring us closer when we become too familiar in marriage. At old age, the elements of lust become victim of diminishing return. Beauty fades, sex lose it appeal, fashion lose it candor, money either run out of it become a burden on us, children start finding their own destiny and detach themselves from us.

All of these are ephemeral. Love the last thing that bind us together.

To those who have no real deposit of love, those who painted candle in gold, deceiving themselves and the world with gleaning 'golden candle', soon the sun will shine, and the wax will melt away, leaving behind tales of regrets. For such, love is depreciative in nature.

To those who marry without ther eyes on the ephemeric qualities, the longer they live the stronger their love and affections. Such as the one that pursued pure gold, mostly unrefined, and then keep it away from thieves and reckless pessimists.

Words of wisdom

yes

Mind to explain?