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Did I Marry The Right Person? by carpenter(m): 10:46am On Mar 23, 2007 |
Please take sometime to read this. This depicts how I feel about marriages and relationships. It will help us to know ourselves better. Cheers! All through my life, I have watched marriages and relationships crumble not because they (the parties) were not in-love or crazy 'bout each other (at least in the first few days,months or years as the case might be). But because they failed to understand and accept the realities of life. Its more of learning to love an individual: knowing what they like, and what they don't, where u both agree and where u don't, strengths and weaknesses, stuffs like that, than falling in love. Its all about managing people. I agree with this school of thought, what do u think? N.B. my words are above, everything from here-on is someone elses work. [b]DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON? During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, " How do I know if I married the right person ?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, " It Depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered " How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's Weighing on your mind. Here's the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked Their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a Completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love, Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, " I was swept of my feet." Think about the Imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing There; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls Become a bother ( if they come at all), touch is not always welcome ( when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you Think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, " Did I marry The right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of The love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their Unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is The most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You Could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because ( listen carefully to this): THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find " LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression " the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it Takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific Things you can do ( with or without your spouse ) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe ( such as gravity), There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your Relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable, You can " make" love. Love in marriage is indeed a " decision", Not just a feeling. [/b] 1 Like |
Re: Did I Marry The Right Person? by ima1(f): 12:17am On Mar 24, 2007 |
this is actually pretty good good job carpenter |
Re: Did I Marry The Right Person? by OmoEko1(f): 12:24am On Mar 24, 2007 |
That so so true and did u write this |
Re: Did I Marry The Right Person? by ima1(f): 1:24am On Mar 24, 2007 |
i bet he copied it from somewhere - copy copy |
Re: Did I Marry The Right Person? by LoverBwoy(m): 1:49am On Mar 24, 2007 |
N.B. my words are above, everything from here-on is someone elses work. |
Re: Did I Marry The Right Person? by ima1(f): 4:03am On Mar 24, 2007 |
i don't think i even saw that. |
Re: Did I Marry The Right Person? by mohawkchic(f): 4:11am On Mar 24, 2007 |
Very wise words ! i totally agree with that concept of looking at marriage, i shud know applying these rules however is challengin i reckon,thats IMHO |
Re: Did I Marry The Right Person? by whiteNkem(f): 9:16am On Mar 24, 2007 |
Very nice lesson! And it's all so true. Hmm, nice to see some lectures around. This is another proof that we constantly learn something. |
Re: Did I Marry The Right Person? by carpenter(m): 11:48am On Mar 26, 2007 |
@ima1 U probably did not see that 'cause you were consumed by the words. The challenge was good though, peeps should not take credit for other peeps work without saying so. @Loverbwoy Thanks for making it clear and thanks for being nice 'bout it |
Re: Did I Marry The Right Person? by Maneater1(f): 12:39pm On Mar 26, 2007 |
True story!!! Well said. I've learnt so much. |
Re: Did I Marry The Right Person? by draigboje(m): 11:55am On Mar 30, 2007 |
SUCCESS IN YOUR MARRIAGE---A MUST. Men and women these days have gradually turned themselves into sex-freaks. Out of the myriads of ladies available, the man decides on just one of them to marry. The decision to marry the particular lady in question is likely to be borne out of The qualities possessed by the lady above others (and may be prayers). Some of these could be her physical beauty, her good sense of dressing, Her charming behaviour, her good sense of humour etc. The lady may also accept the marriage proposal from the man because of his good looks, His good income, his charm, humour etc. The man may be full of praises for her at the initial Stages of the marriage and vice versa. One wonders therefore why any of such a couple, For instance, could be caught with sexual immorality or loss of interest in the relationship. The root of this could be traced to the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil (Gen 3:2-7). This has to do with the soul of mankind which is the seat of emotion, intellect etc. The soul also houses man’s inner character (containing man’s true thoughts and feelings). Eating the fruit brought the knowledge of good and evil. Knowledge is part of the intellect which is seated in the soul. The resultant judgement from God was addressed to their soul. The woman’s desire was directed to the husband (not just any man) --Gen. 3:16 While the man was commanded to take charge over his wife (not just any willing woman)---Gen.3:16 The man and the woman acquired the ability to do both good and evil after eating this fruit. They also acquired the ability to discern between good and evil. Your spouse will definitely have shortcomings. Some of these could be deliberately done to spite you or get you irritated (for whatever reason). Talk things over with him/her. Remember that God called all the parties involved in the Eating of the fruit and found out everything (Gen. 3:7-13). Having spoken with him/her, remember to keep feeding your soul With thoughts in line with God’s judgements/injunction. This way, you keep working on yourself to keep the fire Of your love burning for your spouse. The erring partner should make the necessary adjustments And keep feeding his/her soul with beautiful thoughts for his/her partner. Both parties must keep working towards the success of their marriage and/or love life. This is part of what is being taught at www.godswillfoundation.org. Visit them now, sign up for their newsletter (to learn more) And you will be glad you did. Dr. I. Aigboje |
Re: Did I Marry The Right Person? by ernie4life(m): 6:29am On Sep 27, 2015 |
carpenter:nice piece 1 Like |
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