pocohantas:


Who is this latest e****?

neoG:
Please did anyone see where the woman said "he will take the money off her as HE HAD DONE BEFORE?"
She did wrong but no responsible man will have a woman who is ready to submit her money to him (which is rare these days) and will take it off her to do something else.
If you understand the bondage in paying house rent most especially as a family man and the money is not always there to pay, u will appreciate what it means to be a house owner.
He should forgive, swallow his prikkde, move in there and then buy time to build the one he will move his family into while they put up this 5 bedroom for rent.
If he refuses, the woman should call for a family meeting and to keep begging him for forgiveness not stopping stall.
If he still refuses, she should give him time and pray for him.
But I advise the woman never to live in regrets cos I feel this woman meant no harm.

revolt:
you dont know women... Any day theres an altercation shell remind you how uve nvr done anything for her even the house you live in " you didn't contribute a dime to it" how shes been carrying the load of the family on her shoulders , shell genuinely forget the mans spent all he had running their home.

. You don't know what wonen are capable of. They're not built like men. If they give they expect sompn in return and will forever hold you to ransom. Even our mothers....dont you know that line of " I carried you for nine months...made you what you are".....forgetting somebody also did same for em. Let them sell the house and build anotger together. Cos even his kids will be told your father didn't even know when the house was built.

slimmaintenance:




Nice submission.
you sabi book

LadySarah:


She knows her husband .she is also trying to secure their future,their children's.
I know someone whose husband was like this and she had to take a bold step like this.When she revealed what she achieved ,her husband broke down in tears.

He doesn't joke with her now and also doesn't fail to tell ppl what the wife did.He has put her in charge of finances and has curbed his excess spending habit.

I'm trying to understand why the man wants to divorce her,even when his name is on the property.

You marry someone who strengthen s ur weakness not ignore it.That's why you are a team.Gosh!

I'm married and my dh says it's no big deal

neoG:
Yeah am not arguing that but in this case, what have been done have been done. Is just to look for the way forward dead. As a man over look somethings women do in other to save yourself unnecessary headache in this life

LadySarah:


She knows her husband .she is also trying to secure their future,their children's.
I know someone whose husband was like this and she had to take a bold step like this.When she revealed what she achieved ,her husband broke down in tears.

He doesn't joke with her now and also doesn't fail to tell ppl what the wife did.He has put her in charge of finances and has curbed his excess spending habit.

I'm trying to understand why the man wants to divorce her,even when his name is on the property.

You marry someone who strengthen s ur weakness not ignore it.That's why you are a team.Gosh!

I'm married and my dh says it's no big deal

Femsyn:
Expected response from the man. African women need to understand, you don't do these things.

He does the "hefty" things in the house. From the write up, I don't think you ever really supported him for school fees (maybe once). Yet you complain him never having enough. How would he? Hello!!!! Family responsibilities have taken all of it, while you save and build a house for him?

A round of applause. Only a bastard husband will accept such bullcrap.

However, I don't think it should get to the level of divorce, but even at that, the marriage may never remain the same again.

Waiting for the feminists and misogynistic champions to support the woman.

pocohantas:


Who is this latest e****?



Dude, if you are bored...go fck a cactus or something. No dey give me mumu mention.
You hear?

ZIMDRILL:
i see stupid responses from my fellow man

1 the wife eventually knew that husband is not good at money so she tookover being the financial mananger in house and managed to built a house

2 as individual we are gifted in different ways, the wife is gifted wise with little you have and do something great, being a man doesnt mean you have gifts in all, lets honour good wives that steer a family in a good direction, having your own home is what every man & woman wish for on this earth whether it was the wife or hubby bought/built behind the back doesnt matter as long get informed on presentation day to say hthis is OURS

3 the wife is not claiming the house to be hers but THIER house, hubby should swallow his stupid ego that produced no house for the family and praise wife of being wiser person on this house issue

4 if it was me i would put all shit together to be a better financial manager and buy the wife a great gift eg a car or fly her to good holiday she never thought she would go

4 lets praise were credit is due like they do us when we presents houses, cars gifts etc

KOPT33:



I agree with some of your points, but this is a house we are talking about here. Was the house completed in one month? At the very least it took 1 year.

How can you be in the same house with somebody and not tell them you're pulling off a project as big as homebuilding?

In the earliest stages, not informing the man made a lot of sense, but what of when the project had taken off? What of during roofing? There were many instances where informing the man should have been the next thing on her list of actions, not really at the end of the whole project.

If she has the mental fortitude to withhold information such as this, what else is she hiding?

I personally will CEASE all interactions with a woman who this stunt.

What if the man had a specific design he would like to have in a residence? It is quite demeaning. You might be able to stomach this kind of stunt, but not me or many men I know. The very thought is nauseating.

ZIMDRILL:
i see stupid responses from my fellow man

1 the wife eventually knew that husband is not good at money so she tookover being the financial mananger in house and managed to built a house

2 as individual we are gifted in different ways, the wife is gifted wise with little you have and do something great, being a man doesnt mean you have gifts in all, lets honour good wives that steer a family in a good direction, having your own home is what every man & woman wish for on this earth whether it was the wife or hubby bought/built behind the back doesnt matter as long get informed on presentation day to say hthis is OURS

3 the wife is not claiming the house to be hers but THIER house, hubby should swallow his stupid ego that produced no house for the family and praise wife of being wiser person on this house issue

4 if it was me i would put all shit together to be a better financial manager and buy the wife a great gift eg a car or fly her to good holiday she never thought she would go

4 lets praise were credit is due like they do us when we presents houses, cars gifts etc

ZIMDRILL:
i see stupid responses from my fellow man

1 the wife eventually knew that husband is not good at money so she tookover being the financial mananger in house and managed to built a house

2 as individual we are gifted in different ways, the wife is gifted wise with little you have and do something great, being a man doesnt mean you have gifts in all, lets honour good wives that steer a family in a good direction, having your own home is what every man & woman wish for on this earth whether it was the wife or hubby bought/built behind the back doesnt matter as long get informed on presentation day to say hthis is OURS

3 the wife is not claiming the house to be hers but THIER house, hubby should swallow his stupid ego that produced no house for the family and praise wife of being wiser person on this house issue

4 if it was me i would put all shit together to be a better financial manager and buy the wife a great gift eg a car or fly her to good holiday she never thought she would go

4 lets praise were credit is due like they do us when we presents houses, cars gifts etc

ZIMDRILL:


are you saying its ok for a man to do it

but wrong if a woman does it ?

its most men who surprise wives with new houses a project done in secret from start to finish and that ok

if the woman does the same to surprise hubby, you know see her as enemy please swallow your ego and praise

KOPT33:
I am even afraid of the woman as I type this.

In the earliest stages, it made sense not to inform the man, but I feel at some point, the woman should have informed her.

I will not sleep in the same room or talk to a woman who pulls this kind of act behind my back. It is wicked, demeaning and terrifying.

LadySarah:


She knows her husband .she is also trying to secure their future,their children's.
I know someone whose husband was like this and she had to take a bold step like this.When she revealed what she achieved ,her husband broke down in tears.

He doesn't joke with her now and also doesn't fail to tell ppl what the wife did.He has put her in charge of finances and has curbed his excess spending habit.

I'm trying to understand why the man wants to divorce her,even when his name is on the property.

You marry someone who strengthen s ur weakness not ignore it.That's why you are a team.Gosh!

I'm married and my dh says it's no big deal

LadySarah:


She knows her husband .she is also trying to secure their future,their children's.
I know someone whose husband was like this and she had to take a bold step like this.When she revealed what she achieved ,her husband broke down in tears.

He doesn't joke with her now and also doesn't fail to tell ppl what the wife did.He has put her in charge of finances and has curbed his excess spending habit.

I'm trying to understand why the man wants to divorce her,even when his name is on the property.

You marry someone who strengthen s ur weakness not ignore it.That's why you are a team.Gosh!

I'm married and my dh says it's no big deal

Eberechi24:

Lord I don't want to meet this personality as life partner. Amen.

Eberechi24:

My dear my boss is a "common technican" but his wife is a senior civil servant in Ministry of defence. He was the one that paid her school fees from Nce to doctorate and he is very happy he did, his ego is not threatened. He did not subject his wife to emotional blackmail,
He did not feel less of himself rather his very proud of his wife,
I can't imagine what my boss' wife will be if she had end up with one of our "Almighty men".
Lord, I don't want to identify with destiny eater. men without vision.

LordKO:
An act of diplomacy shouldn't be mistaken for one of hypocritical disingenuousness - there's a thin line between the two. The woman didn't do any evil, unless all she stated here aren't the truth. She's a wise woman - a true liberator. Unfortunately, she's married to an enslaver, a typical small-minded man - imprudence, self-centeredness, opportunism and pilferage are vices. They're of different ethical leanings.

ZIMDRILL:
i see stupid responses from my fellow man

1 the wife eventually knew that husband is not good at money so she tookover being the financial mananger in house and managed to built a house

2 as individual we are gifted in different ways, the wife is gifted wise with little you have and do something great, being a man doesnt mean you have gifts in all, lets honour good wives that steer a family in a good direction, having your own home is what every man & woman wish for on this earth whether it was the wife or hubby bought/built behind the back doesnt matter as long get informed on presentation day to say hthis is OURS

3 the wife is not claiming the house to be hers but THIER house, hubby should swallow his stupid ego that produced no house for the family and praise wife of being wiser person on this house issue

4 if it was me i would put all shit together to be a better financial manager and buy the wife a great gift eg a car or fly her to good holiday she never thought she would go

4 lets praise were credit is due like they do us when we presents houses, cars gifts etc

Eberechi24:

you just save me from crying, seriously, comments from our men is seriously flawed. 95% percent of Nigerian men are suffering from insecurity.
if the woman in question is white, trust our "almighty men" to drive loads of praises to her.
that woman is Builder, but our egoistic men fail to see it because they feel intimidated.


She is a builder, a very good quality. But she's also a sneaky and snakey beech. She could have been a builder and a transparent person. The builder personality does not cause an absence of common honesty.

Solidkay:
As copied.

I need urgent advice. See eh, my business has always done so well and I am good at saving money. I and my husband shared the bills. He pays school fees and other hefty expenses while I feed the family. Sometimes it is hard for him to get money to pay for the school fees and he sometimes asks me if I have, occasionally I have helped out but I noticed he will keep depending on me to keep helping out. When I say I don’t have, the school fees money will them come out from somewhere and he will pay it, but if I said I have, he will not find the money o. So I learned to say I don’t have so he will be forced to find it, and he has been doing it.




We don’t have property at all, we pay rent. I have been asking him to buy land but he has been postponing saying he doesn’t have money. I saved up enough money to buy land and I even saved up money to build a bungalow for us. All behind his back, because I know he will take the money from me and use it for something else if I say I have the money. So I decided to buy land and build the bungalow behind his back. I build 5 bedroom bungalow and I thought he will be happy and proud of me. I told him I have a surprise for him. I took him to the new bungalow which I have even furnished. I then break the news that it is our own and he was so shocked he nearly passed out. He then became very angry that I did such a project behind his back and that it is an insult to him. He said it means he means nothing to me for me to pretend I don’t have money and then go behind him and build such a house. Every room has toilet and bathroom, 2 parlours, big compound already fenced with interlocking tiles. Now furnished. I have been begging him since that I did it for our own good. His name and my name are in the C of O but he said he will never move into that house built behind his back and is talking about ending our marriage. He says he tells me everything he does but I betrayed him by hiding what I was doing. I told him is because I was afraid he will take the money off me as he has done before and I felt we needed to make progress and stop paying rent. At least it will save him rent money forever. This man is still angry o and wants to go and see my people to end the marriage



Please what did I do wrong? I thought I was being a good wife.... I feel so sad. I love my husband and I want to save my marriage. What do I do?

KOPT33:


I had to read and reread to understand, but I found no substance in your statements.

I see no room for ethics in the resolution of the matter, or even for coming to a clear position of consensus. I am not an enslaver if I demand full disclosure from my spouse. What is your point exactly?

KOPT33:


You fail to understand the viewpoint of the men. It is not enough to castigate a situation, you can sit still for a second and try to put yourself in another's shoes.

Men do not like this type of sneaky behavior, period. When you hurt a man's ego in whatever way, no matter how insignificant they appear to you, he will fight back. If said man is the passive aggressive type, he will make a mountain out of a molehill in order to assuage his ego.

I am a man and I can understand why the man would take offence. It's a primal response hardwired into the psyche of every man. Don't fight it, learn to manage it.