frankfrancis871:
*mordified* short answer-YES Of course he has rights and obligation to the child. Sorry can't say more cos I don't understand your question. Are you asking base on Igbo culture cos many Igbo tribes got their own cultures meanwhile I don't know much on Igbo culture cos I didn't grow up there

thorpido:
Is he planning to marry you?

Nyu424:


Yes, based on Igbo culture is he obligated to the child even though I'm not an Igbo woman (from my knowledge). He hasn't been part of the pregnancy so far and refuses to speak to me period. Does Igbo culture condone that behavior towards me? Is his behavior normal?

Nyu424:


Not to my knowledge. He doesn't want me contacting him unless it's about an abortion. I believe he expects to marry an Igbo woman in the future to please his family, which I understand now.

thorpido:
From the bolded,I guess you realise he doesn't want the baby and probably the relationship with you.
If you're keeping the baby,he might not be involved in his/her life.Just sue his @ss for child support.
The Igbo culture doesn't make him responsible for the baby since he didn't or hasn't married you.

Nyu424:


The misunderstanding there is when we went for the abortion he objected ( I was willing to abort because he said he would resent the child if I didn't) and we walked out deciding to co parent. I don't understand the hostile change of heart. My concern is the child not the romantic interaction that was once there.

Nyu424:


Yes, based on Igbo culture is he obligated to the child even though I'm not an Igbo woman (from my knowledge). He hasn't been part of the pregnancy so far and refuses to speak to me period. Does Igbo culture condone that behavior towards me? Is his behavior normal?

Nyu424:


Not to my knowledge. He doesn't want me contacting him unless it's about an abortion. I believe he expects to marry an Igbo woman in the future to please his family, which I understand now.

MayorofLagos:






Lady, get the F out of here! I am not a fan of Ibo culture but I wouldn't stand for the kind of nonsense you are spewing. You are crazy, in your mid-twenty and an American to get pregnant for a man and he rejects the pregnancy, then you come to internet for consultation. Tidy your pussy up and face front, you and your unborn child. This is Nigeria, dont bring that nonsense here. Id1ot!

allcomage:
Igbo have strong family bond of proper marriage. Babies born outside marriage are not cheery news in Igbo cultural and marriage setting. Better find your way on time because you are on your own.

Nyu424:


So it's b.s. there's an unplanned pregnancy and I'm keeping it or b.s. that I'm mentioning it on the site. If insight can be given on a sad situation such as this one what's the issue? You mention nothing of his wrongdoing since he is actually Ibo and knows what his culture would think of it actions, but didn't have enough respect to be careful. By the way, he's told me once before that he had an abortion in his prior relationship, but only revealed that information after we had conceived. Maybe your bro should wrap up because my legs stayed closed before this snake entered my life.

Nyu424:


So it's b.s. there's an unplanned pregnancy and I'm keeping it or b.s. that I'm mentioning it on the site. If insight can be given on a sad situation such as this one what's the issue? You mention nothing of his wrongdoing since he is actually Ibo and knows what his culture would think of it actions, but didn't have enough respect to be careful. By the way, he's told me once before that he had an abortion in his prior relationship, but only revealed that information after we had conceived. Maybe your bro should wrap up because my legs stayed closed before this snake entered my life.

Nyu424:


So it's b.s. there's an unplanned pregnancy and I'm keeping it or b.s. that I'm mentioning it on the site. If insight can be given on a sad situation such as this one what's the issue? You mention nothing of his wrongdoing since he is actually Ibo and knows what his culture would think of it actions, but didn't have enough respect to be careful. By the way, he's told me once before that he had an abortion in his prior relationship, but only revealed that information after we had conceived. Maybe your bro should wrap up because my legs stayed closed before this snake entered my life.

morpheus24:


poster, you grammar and they way to write is very indicative of Nigerian grammar.

You are suspect my dear

HORRORIZON:


How so? I'm AA and she seems perfectly AA to me.

morpheus24:


"Yes, based on Igbo culture is he obligated to the child even though I'm not an Igbo woman (from my knowledge). He hasn't been part of the pregnancy so far and refuses to speak to me period. Does Igbo culture condone that behavior towards me? Is his behavior normal?"

Her is an example of Nigerian grammar. Look at the bolded. I don't normally hear AA use this particular word in sentence formations.


The rest of her responses are filled with Nigerian type indiosyncrasy.

The poster is suspect

Tushkito:


Don't quote that hate filled, bitter idiot again. He is not even igbo but a yoruba, pay him no mind.

MayorofLagos:


Mid-20s, pregnant...here are your needs in order of priority

1 - medical care for prenatal checks
2 - good and reliable income for food and nutrition
3 - a job with medicat, dental and maternity benefits
4 - family support (this is where Ibo culture comes in)

So the family here in Nairaland should not be your first stop. Before coming here you need local support amongst his Ibo circle of family or friends. There are Ibo communities in your area, find them on internet and then make a contact to go visit and get support for you and your baby. Get some sense and tidy up.

frankfrancis871:
No @bolded Biafrans (Igbo to be precise) have beautiful cultures, respect their women, face their marital and parental obligations, his behaviour is abnormal and contrary to every right thinking Igbo person beliefs, his behaviour is abnormal and childish. No tradition stop one from being a good person

Maybe there are factors making him behave like that:
1. His parents dictates for him (which is almost impossible)
2. He is not ready to be a man and a father (which is weird to me since he's in his mid thirties)

you've got to talk to him or possibly his parents or relatives.

MayorofLagos:






Lady, get the F out of here! I am not a fan of Ibo culture but I wouldn't stand for the kind of nonsense you are spewing. You are crazy, in your mid-twenty and an American to get pregnant for a man and he rejects the pregnancy, then you come to internet for consultation. Tidy your pussy up and face front, you and your unborn child. This is Nigeria, dont bring that nonsense here. Id1ot!

Triniti:
Igbos generally don’t like having babies outside wedlock,maybe your baby daddy is wayward and irresponsible at his age or he might have heard a sad story that comes with baby mama. That might be reasons for his change of heart after accepting to co-parent with you.

morpheus24:


"Yes, based on Igbo culture is he obligated to the child even though I'm not an Igbo woman (from my knowledge). He hasn't been part of the pregnancy so far and refuses to speak to me period. Does Igbo culture condone that behavior towards me? Is his behavior normal?"

Her is an example of Nigerian grammar. Look at the bolded. I don't normally hear AA use this particular word in sentence formations.


The rest of her responses are filled with Nigerian type indiosyncrasy.

The poster is suspect

HORRORIZON:


LOL. That's ridiculous. If that's your experience, then it's pretty obvious that you haven't spent much time around us. We say that ish all the time, especially when we want to make our point clear or express the severity of our words, and usually done in a very stern or sassy way.

Nyu424:


Thank you for your advice. Would it not be inappropriate of me to contact somebody like his mom? Should I wait until the child is born to pursue such an interaction? He changes his mind too much for me to make an accurate depiction of his character, but as of now I'm going through this pregnancy alone. He's giving me the silent treatment, won't answer any texts, emails or calls, which is different compared to our previous interactions.