I was reading this on xomba.com and it's about tips for guys preparing for marriage.

[i][b][b]Brothers, marriage is a big responsibility. It is not a tea party. It is not a role for boys, it is for men. Being a man they say, is not a day’s job. It takes a process and that process begins now. Youths have the rare privilege of being able to make the right choices, and avoiding costly mistakes that can ruin or destroy them. The fact that you are young, single and free does not give you the licence to be useless. If all you think about when you see a lady is her anatomy and how to take her to bed, you surely are on the path to perdition, except you make a detour; repent and change for the better. You have the freedom to live a decent life and reap unlimited blessings, or to continue to be wayward, brutal or crooked in your dealings. If you settle for the latter, don’t be surprised when you wind up contracting some incurable sexually transmitted disease, or you become impotent, or you end up marrying Jezebel’s incarnate (a witch and immoral slut), or end up in jail for criminal activities. God forbid that that should be your story. I sure believe better things of you. How then should a young man prepare for marriage? Please read on:

You must prepare for headship
Headship in marriage is what makes the man tick. It is what makes him a man. Headship is not about you having a woman to bully, oppress, harass, or turn into a slave. Headship is a call to selfless service, love, loyalty, and nurturing your wife to be the best that she can be! Headship is about maturity. Boys don't get married, men do. Headship is responsibility - it is not a role for the wayward, irresponsible or unserious. Headship is spiritual leadership. The man must know God well, in order to direct his family well.

How can a man prepare for headship?
Being financially empowered
Money is a very important aspect of marriage. Don't belittle the importance of money in marriage. As a man, you are expected to provide for your family. You are to provide money for food, shelter, clothing, healthcare, family upkeep, children's school fees, etc. That means you must have a source of income; either a job or business. You must have a vision, be energetic, hard working, ambitious, result-oriented, effective, empowered for success.

Sexual discipline
That means you must abstain from sexual impurity, fornication, homosexuality, masturbation, and so on. Premarital sex can damage your foundation and future. If you have a problem with lust, you must deal with it while you are single otherwise you will carry the same attitude to marriage and end up fooling around. If you've made mistakes in the past, now is the time to repent and ask God for forgiveness. Now is the time to discipline yourself and be a good example for your family. Sexual immorality leads to many terrible things including: sexually transmitted diseases & HIV/AIDS, promiscuity in marriage (male & female), undesirable soul ties with demon-possessed people, ultimate destruction. For you to deal with lust, you must cry out to God for deliverance with sincerity in your heart. You must also cut off predisposing factors like vulgar friends, pornography (x-rated materials: movies, magazines, music, books, websites, etc). Also channel your energies into worthwhile pursuits (career, business, sports, skills acquisition, training, academics, reading, etc.) to minimize idleness and a wandering mind. Brothers, God created sex as a blessing for marriage, not outside it.

Character development
Character simply means moral strength or weakness. It is the special way in which you feel, think or act. It is all about moral firmness, self-control, integrity. What are the areas of your character you must deal with? They include Temperament: Violence must be avoided. Hitting a woman or battering her is no evidence of being macho. Some men even beat their fiancées, what then will you do in marriage? You are supposed to cherish her, not to abuse her physically. Meanness: Some men stop their wives from working or pursing a noble vision. This is wrong. Realize that a happy home is one where there is mutual understanding and personal fulfilment of purpose. Stinginess: Some people are so stingy and selfish that they think only of themselves, yet God expects you to put your spouse as your number one priority. Love is about sacrifice.

Undue jealousy
Some people are so jealous, easily suspicious and petty. This is a wrong attitude to take into marriage, so deal with it now. Humility: You must be humble enough to acknowledge that your wife is your partner. Respect her and treat her with honour. Some qualities of humility include forgiveness, kindness, courtsey, appreciation, saying I’m sorry when you make a mistake, listening to the other person’s point of view, etc.

Cultural values
In some cultures, women are not regarded as honorable creations of God. They are seen as second-class citizens. They are not allowed to talk, or to advance. Some in-laws treat their daughters in-law badly. Also, the male child syndrome in Africa. As a man who wants to get married, ask yourself, "what if my wife has only female children, will I still cherish her? Or will I criticize her, condemn her and look for another wife? What if she can't have a biological baby? Am I willing to adopt?"

Physical appearance and education
Your appearance matters as a prospective suitor. Be neat, get rid of body odor. Brush your mouth well, look and smell good. Even if all you’ve got are two shirts and trousers, make effort to be presentable. Brothers be wise! Every woman wants a man she can be proud of. Furthermore, this is the right time to go to school. Get quality education, get rid of ignorance. Read widely and smartly. Attend seminars and training programmes. Get relevant training for your job or vocation, learn from experts.

For your information, today’s woman is intelligent, astute, smart and competitive. Therefore, she seeks an upwardly mobile, articulate, intelligent, decent and responsible guy for a husband. So to impress her, you must avoid mediocrity, idleness and laziness. Be willing to start small and grow. If you nurture your potentials, you will certainly make progress. Above all, you must pray and trust God to make you the right guy so that the right woman can show up. May God give you discerning eyes to find a good wife.

Anyone with an advice or tip for marriage for guys above 30 is welcome to contribute

excellent article

Marriage is not a thing that you have to be afraid of. It is even the will of God for you to be married.

But like every other trade in business, marriage has it's rules and regulation; basically; trust.

Check out www.successfulspouse..com

great article, every man shld read this

cool

This is a thought provoking post, what I can add is that marraige is a not for boys and girls many are getting into marraige today for the wrong reasons.

This is why I really appreciate your courage to address it this way.

hmmm,

Sounds like too much work.

Good piece without a doubt but sexual discipline,hmm that poses a awful lot of challenge mahn.

i think the most difficult choice facing unmarried men above 30 who are quite accomplished is to let go of those older girls who they were not able to date when they were struggling in the trenches of work. I think its' a good start in the search for a wife

personally Barack Obama's choice of woman is the way forward for us black boys who will like to go on the offensive, a stable and steady hand at home that will free us to try new things

With all this heavy preparation being advocated by the poster on the side of bachelors i will like to know what the guarantee is that our potential wives will hold up thier side of the business of marriage

Marriage is not an issue one can just go into. It entails some key principles which must be adhered to. Such keys includes the following: spiritual maturity, financial maturity, physical maturity others are humility, patience and ability to take decisions at every point in time.These are the keys that make a MAN.Other keys are subsumed under the aforementioned. Ponder on these and seeing you recording successes in your marriage.I wish you married life.http://emarriagelifeinfo..com/

Thanks for all your contributions

This is indeed wonderful!! Hope our matured guys will stick to this. Guys the OP said you should ZIP UP!!

@OP you didn’t point the guy should get a house, not getting married and remain in family house, where his whole siblings will automatically turn the lady into a house help.

I like this, OP I want the one for Ladies

Divine R.:

This is indeed wonderful!! Hope our matured guys will stick to this. Guys the OP said you should ZIP UP!!

@OP you didn’t point the guy should get a house, not getting married and remain in family house, where his whole siblings will automatically turn the lady into a house help.

I like this, OP I want the one for Ladies

I have posted your question on the romance section and it will be nice to know how our future wives themselves are getting ready for a lifetime with us