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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! (6486 Views)
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I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Nobody: 2:46pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Hello. social anxiety is killing me. I have suffered this for most part of my life and I must say it has affected tremendously. I now have low self esteem,lack of self confidence and self hate. I have isolated my self from most social situations because of the fear,anxiety ,embarrassment and discomfort i often face during and after every social event. I stay indoors often. I skip church services because I am afraid I do be asked to participate in one or more even that would trigger fear. I am afraid to walk to put offering in front because of fear that am getting watched. The fear that people must have noticed my anxiety brings more anxiety. If I manage go i sit at the back and never stand up. I can't talk to a group of people, if I try, I start shaking and trembling. I avoid talking to girls I find attractive. I can't go into a place where everyone is already seated, if I do I will tremble, look down or blush. It it embarrassing when they notice it. What broke the camels back is a beautiful girl that was was crushing on me, after managing to woo and she agreed decided to come to my place. When she arrived I started shaking, trembling, faster heart rate, lost of focus, and feeling blank. I couldn't look her in one the eye or even hold a conversation with her. I think she noticed it and has started avoiding me. Nairalanders, I feel too low right now, I don't know if I am the only one suffering from this. Its killing me, no amount of advice I have gotten has really helped me.... I don't know what drugs would... lalasticlala 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by shininglite(m): 2:52pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
... |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by BigGuyMan: 2:54pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Lmao Better stop masturbation as soon as possible When severe Konji hold you self confidence go come automatically 15 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by tolugar: 2:55pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Bros I think we have bigger problems at hand now. This buhari thing is really on our nerves right now Pls try again later pls 18 Likes |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by BigGuyMan: 2:56pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
tolugar:So boring. Take your L and get out from here please 9 Likes |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by adeniyi3971(m): 2:57pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Bro, you just need to find that inner energy.. start by talking frequently with your family in person. make friends, meet people that will help you socialize. If you move with club rats it will help you boost your confidence. more often than not follow them to the club, do the weird things they do, and watch your esteem sky rocket. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Nne5: 2:58pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Meet a therapist. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Nobody: 3:02pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
adeniyi3971:I never associate with people like that before, I stay indoors. The last time I mingled with them I got scammed. 5 Likes |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Nobody: 3:14pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
seun |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Uglymugg: 3:18pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
I know a drug that can help you. My friend was also like you before he started using it. He now slays mutiple women a week. It also enhances your memory abilities and your overall dopamine level. |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by BigGuyMan: 3:45pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Uglymugg:Name please? |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by FUCKDOWN: 3:52pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
it is well |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by FatGuy: 3:56pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Every body gets anxious in public, some people just know how to conceal it others don't. You are normal like others, just get involved more in social events and give the "I don't care attitude" about people and you'll be all good. 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by blakid(m): 4:23pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
i was once like u bro, a complete introvert with a very low self esteem. But all that ended when i moved in with some friends. all thanks to my roomies. they never allowed me to stay indoor, whenever they are out they always made sure we roll together, we party together and i was hooked up with girls on many occassions. it wasn't easy at first, but i was given confidence by them dt no matter wat happens they aren't going to kill me. avoid staying indoor always it kills self esteem cos u wil tend to find solace in yourself only and that wil affect your relation and communication wit others in a negative way. be positive minded, be confident in whatever u do, don't look down on yourself cos that can lead u to depression. JUST BE YOURSELF. 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Maduawuchukwu(m): 4:25pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
JESUSBOIY: I think you should see a therapist and start taking anti anxiety medication. It works wonders 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by KRILMIJAY(m): 4:53pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
YOU NEED JESUS 1 Like |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Gloriawinning: 5:58pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
I had an ex that was just like you or maybe worse because he wasnt only scared of been seen , he thought he doesn't deserve to be seen I dated him with courage and decided to love him without prejudice. Things went great initially I felt fulfilled at the point when he'd dance for me at home which was something he dares not try outside. Later turned out he suffered from severe paranoia which I din't notice initially so he for some reason believed I am interested in other guys (let me not say too much) in the end he beat me Olumi bi aso oke!!!!! So please forget woman for now and go to therapy. By the way don't be too hard on yourself it is your nature and I'm you will find true love that lasts eventually . 5 Likes |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Nobody: 6:03pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Maduawuchukwu:Which anxiety medicine specifically? I am worried about side effects. |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Nobody: 6:07pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Gloriawinning:Thanks. I haven't left the house since morning...I can't stop thinking. Don't know how to face that girl tomorrow 1 Like |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Buffalowings3(m): 6:09pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Wait a minute Is that IYAN that looks like casserole? Buhari must hear this 1 Like |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Nobody: 6:10pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
KRILMIJAY:Yes, you are right but, what do I do to get his help. I need help badly! |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Nobody: 6:12pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Uglymugg:Please tell me 1 Like |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Maduawuchukwu(m): 6:30pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
JESUSBOIY:Lol. You wont have side effects with much significance. Meet a therapist to prescribe for u. Its bad to medicate with mental drugs. |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by MissWrite(f): 6:35pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Lol. We should really create a club for people like us so that you realize that you're sooo not alone. You need to keep a few things in mind CONSTANTLY. 1. It's okay to mess up. Don't take yourself too seriously. If you fall, you get back up and move on. It's nobody's business. 2. People really don't think about you as often as you think. Even when they're staring directly at you, their mind could be on a million other things. 3. Everyone thinks other people are thinking/talking about them (or maybe most people). So if you're nervous about people judging you walk to the offering box, the next person probably is too. The next thing you need to do is FACE YOUR FEARS. It's the only way to get over them. I used to always pick a table by the corner when I went into a restaurant (or a public space). Not because I liked to sit by the window (although that was cool) but because I felt I would be on display in the middle; and I didn't like the attention. So I favored the periphery. This was ages ago, though. So once I noticed this about me, I consciously went for the center. You'll have butterflies in your belly at first but, after a few times, there's nothing. Get out of your comfort zone; and remember: it's okay to mess up. Trust me; you'll be fine. 15 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by ProfGday(m): 7:04pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
All the symtopms you listed can be as a result of 1. Having a parents that are not presentable due to having a shameful records. 2. Being ashamed of your personal failures 3. Having a ugly facial outlook. 4. Poverty and living in a poverty stricken home or environment. 5. Having a poor dress sense or poor body frame. No stylish dress fit ur body frame. 6. Uncoordinated speech impediment...Are u a stammerer ? 7. May be you have a very bad experience while growing up...like being raised by abusive father or mother. 8. You may have been bewitched by a superalien. A won iya aje 9. Lack of faith in yourself. 10. Lack of sex education, 11. Mental disorder or lack of mental focus 12. Prayerlessness or losing contact with your innerself... Bros the list is endless... Just try and do the opposite of the few outlined problems above. We are all human,some of us just keep evolving..That's why we are different. 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by bisoye11(m): 7:07pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Good, and mature response so far, OP, you are not alone, stop thinking too much of your self, try to talk to people about yourself more, start by calling your parent, childhood friends and neighbors. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by CaZmir: 7:25pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Op I think everyone at some point in life have felt the way you are feeling right now. Even people that are so confident have been anxious at a time. The problem started when you believed 'you are not good enough,what do they say about me,I can't do this;you became afraid to make a mistake ,which everyone does. Believe you are good enough,when you give offering look on peoples head not eyes (for a start), tighten your face a bit and walk like only you matter,mingle and you will see changes. Fillmore will say "As it is inside,so it will be outside" 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Ajoboss(m): 9:09pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
BigGuyMan:lol...i like dis |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by Richnero(m): 9:14pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Eleyi gidi gan o |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by chucs: 11:12pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
I think u need to visit a psychiatric hospital for psychologist/ psychiatrist specialist care. U are going through anxiety disorder and it is interfering with ur everyday life. Drug may not necessarily be the first option. You can be engaged in individual and group psychotherapy as well as flooding therapy. Medications may be introduced along with the therapy. NB=Dont get worried about Psychiatric hospital that I mentioned above, Anxiety disorder is a neurotic condition and not psychotic condition. Many people do not know that psychiatric hospitals manage such aswell as Organic mental conditions. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Dying Nairalanders, Please Help Me!! by hadjipapiey(m): 11:30pm On Oct 15, 2018 |
Please don't take it too serious, it's risky and could cause you harm when you think too much. Ok, Lemme break the spine of your fears.. Don jazzy too was.. Is still like you He's a nervous introvert! But you could hardly know. You think I'm wrong? Pop the quote ! |
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