Cordelia was about 41 years old when she found out that her loving husband, and father of her three kids, was a child rapist. She confronted him after she got proof, after doubting her natural instincts for years. He shed tears and begged her to protect him from the wrath of society and the law, he promised to change, and she believed him. Long story short, he finally raped one of their daughters, a few years later, and the family was destroyed, forever.

In the African setting, particularly in Christian marriages, women are advised to pray for their erring husbands, whenever they seek advice, they are told their husbands need protection because he is the head of the home. These women believe it and stick to the union, no matter how unsavoury it has become for them, they have no happiness, they are just stuck in a marriage that is not working and they continue sleeping with a man who sees nothing wrong in the nasty things he does.

Speaking of nasty, a recent story broke in Benue state, Nigeria, about a 13-year-old girl, Ochanya Elizabeth Ogbanje, who recently died of complications from years of vaginal and anal sexual abuse by her aunt’s husband, Andrew Gbuja, and his son, Victor Gbuja. Apparently, the sexual abuse started when Ochanya was 8 years old!

From what we have all seen, this kind of abuse often plays out the same way; perpetrator(s) carry out the act for the very first time and threaten the victim with bodily harm or death, should s/he tell anyone.

Ochanya lived out this nightmare for six years, wondering why she was being abused by so-called loved ones, she must have had some faith in her aunt and wished the woman would protect her, but alas, no one brought in the cavalry for her. She suffered until she died, a child, who should never have had to go through that ordeal.

Ochanya’s aunt, being a mother herself, should have noticed as soon as her husband and son started taking advantage of this child, but she didn’t. While no one knows what transpired within that household for the duration of time the abuse took place, two things are certain;

a. Ochanya must have shown signs of depression/fear

b. Mrs Gbuja must have felt something was amiss in her home through her female instincts

However, did she take a step further to act on any of the two options? In all sincerity, could she have said she didn’t know what was going on?

It will not be a surprise if she decided to turn a blind eye and deaf ear to the child, in order to protect her farce of a marriage. Many wives have done and still do the same for their ‘husbands’.

But, when will this scenario become a thing for national discourse? Why should marriage be so much of a priority that the rights of children are totally ignored and trampled upon by wicked men and women?

Why should societal conditioning manipulate wives into thinking that their ‘husbands’ can do no wrong and must be ‘protected’ at all costs, no matter how shameful his actions?

This is a wake-up call to all women out there, married or single, everyone deserves protection and justice, even if they are not your husband! Expose anyone who turns out to be a rapist, paedophile, or other sick and shameful characters. Protect everyone, except the perpetrator(s)!

#JusticeForOchanya

www.lingoafrica.com

First get the kids out of the way, pray he hasn't started abusing them, send them to boarding school.

Call a family meeting and report the matter, then give them your resignation as a wife. No way God can bless a marriage with a pedophile as a husband.

kennygee:
First get the kids out of the way, pray he hasn't started abusing them, send them to boarding school.

Call a family meeting and report the matter, then give them your resignation as a wife. No way God can bless a marriage with a pedophile as a husband.

Good idea

Your view?

kennygee:
First get the kids out of the way, pray he hasn't started abusing them, send them to boarding school.

Call a family meeting and report the matter, then give them your resignation as a wife. No way God can bless a marriage with a pedophile as a husband.

Gbam

Good morning

Women are intuitive and esp in Nigeria where we are judged a lot,a whole lot of pretence goes on.

There are tell tale signs,some whisperings some actions
Women whose husband's are thieves are aware including those into juju.

They may not disclose it to the outside but they know.

I know a woman almost everybody says they don't like here.it was the single story going round,how she disrespects and disregards her"pious" husband even in the public(I saw it first hand) but marriage has thought me not to believe just one person until you hear from the other,did I? Yes!!!

The day her husband keypad (phone was misbehaving ),he gave it to me to check out the problem.Brethren,what I saw,my eyes can't unsee.

The guy is a full time homosexual!!he is into all the gay groups on fb,over 12 chats with uni boys he was bleeping even a relative.my coz once insulted him when he pressed his nipples while they were talking

I calmly gave him his pphobe back.
His wife knows but she can't tell,because they will tell her to pray and wear red pants for her husbnd if she decides to go,ridicule will follow.

As in,how can a man poke his p into a poo hole then turn around and put it in a sacred v.

Likewise so many Nigerian men who watch their wives abuse the helps in your home.you pretend you don't see wht she is doing forgetting that tomorrow your kids will need help too.

Evans the kidnappers wife knew he was into
Tonto is running because he found out want the husband was into.

LadySarah:
Women are intuitive and esp in Nigeria where we are judged a lot,a whole lot of pretence goes on.

There are tell tale signs,some whisperings some actions
Women whose husband's are thieves are aware including those into juju.

They may not disclose it to the outside but they know.

I know a woman almost everybody says they don't like here.it was the single story going round,how she disrespects and disregards her"pious" husband even in the public(I saw it first hand) but marriage has thought me not to believe just one person until you hear from the other,did I? Yes!!!

The day her husband keypad (phone was misbehaving ),he gave it to me to check out the problem.Brethren,what I saw,my eyes can't unsee.

The guy is a full time homosexual!!he is into all the gay groups on fb,over 12 chats with uni boys he was bleeping even a relative.my coz once insulted him when he pressed his nipples while they were talking

I calmly gave him his pphobe back.
His wife knows but she can't tell,because they will tell her to pray and wear red pants for her husbnd if she decides to go,ridicule will follow.

As in,how can a man poke his p into a poo hole then turn around and put it in a sacred v.

Likewise so many Nigerian men who watch their wives abuse the helps in your home.you pretend you don't see wht she is doing forgetting that tomorrow your kids will need help too.

Evans the kidnappers wife knew he was into
Tonto is running because he found out want the husband was into.

God bless your insight

Good evening

Its so sad.sometimes i wish i can talk sense into some people. Anyway society is changing. Slowly but surely.

tracyfemmmm:
Its so sad.sometimes i wish i can talk sense into some people. Anyway society is changing. Slowly but surely.

Very true

Omono, I love this question. I was thinking about it when I came across your thread.

LadySarah made a valid point in her contribution when she said there are men who know their wives abuse the help at home yet say nothing. I just don't get how a man will see these things and say nothing. That's wickedness if you can't tell your wife she's going overboard. This sort of thing breaks my heart. I can't even understand it no matter how hard I try. How can you be in a house where a little child lives and they are made to stay up till 10,11pm washing plates or ironing clothes and you comfortably keep quiet? Why? You're an accomplice. Period!

Heaven knows if any man under my roof is abusing a minor, he's dead. It's either he kills me or I kill him. Ochanya's aunt could have simply put the girl away if she can't protect her from her husband and son. A son that she should have beaten very well and given serious marks. Nonsense. She couldn't discipline. *sigh.

In my service year I was posted to a school in a rural community. We were just 2 corps members posted to that school. A guy and I. All these small girls who think because a guy is a 'corper' he is lord were coming to throw themselves at him. They saw the witch in me. Of course the wayward girls in senior secondary didn't like me because I never allowed them into the guy's room. Not on my watch! Good thing his room was after mine. They'll fetch him water. Carry his books from the staff room in school to his room in the yard we lived. I was the yard monitor even the guy knew. If he was going to carry any of those girls then I must not know.

This thing is a collective responsibility. Please, men, women, aunties and uncles, even children should speak up when they see some adult abusing a child be it domestic, physical, emotional or sexual. Let us not be quiet. Do something! Anything! Just step in. There's no child more precious than the other. Because a child under you is less privileged doesn't mean they should suffer to death. If you can't care and protect a minor, don't keep one.

amicable09:
Omono, I love this question. I was thinking about it when I came across your thread.

LadySarah made a valid point in her contribution when she said there are men who know their wives abuse the help at home yet say nothing. I just don't get how a man will see these things and say nothing. That's wickedness if you can't tell your wife she's going overboard. This sort of thing breaks my heart. I can't even understand it no matter how hard I try. How can you be in a house where a little child lives and they are made to stay up till 10,11pm washing plates or ironing clothes and you comfortably keep quiet? Why? You're an accomplice. Period!

Heaven knows if any man under my roof is abusing a minor, he's dead. It's either he kills me or I kill him. Ochanya's aunt could have simply put the girl away if she can't protect her from her husband and son. A son that she should have beaten very well and given serious marks. Nonsense. She couldn't discipline. *sigh.

In my service year I was posted to a school in a rural community. We were just 2 corps members posted to that school. A guy and I. All these small girls who think because a guy is a 'corper' he is lord were coming to throw themselves at him. They saw the witch in me. Of course the wayward girls in senior secondary didn't like me because I never allowed them into the guy's room. Not on my watch! Good thing his room was after mine. They'll fetch him water. Carry his books from the staff room in school to his room in the yard we lived. I was the yard monitor even the guy knew. If he was going to carry any of those girls then I must not know.

This thing is a collective responsibility. Please, men, women, aunties and uncles, even children should speak up when they see some adult abusing a child be it domestic, physical, emotional or sexual. Let us not be quiet. Do something! Anything! Just step in. There's no child more precious than the other. Because a child under you is less privileged doesn't mean they should suffer to death. If you can't care and protect a minor, don't keep one.

God has blessed you with wisdom, thank you for your contribution. Hopefully, we can get to a point where everyone decides to protect those around them, regardless of blood relation or lack thereof.

Good morning

TGIF