You don't need to be married to give marriage counselling. Not all marriage counsellors are married, it's a qualification that's awarded, regardless of ones marital status.

I disagree with this comment in it's entirety. Whilst you do not have to be married to give marriage advice, and there are unmarried marriage counsellors, this will leave a big gaping hole your knowledge base and any subsequent advice you may have to offer. Remember, this is not about giving counsel (anyone can do that) - it is about giving effective counsel.
A qualification is just a qualification. It does not make you excel in your chosen field. Not all qualified Medical Doctors are good. There are many Doctors who have caused patients deaths through negligence, giving appropriate advice, wrong diagnosis, incorrect medicine, wrong dosages, etc - and they are all qualified.

Being married allows you to experience the unique dynamic complexes and challenges of that particular situation. It allows you to formulate solutions to unique problems borne out of unique circumstances. NO amount of training and teaching can give you that!
It like a Football Coach, who has never played competitive football before and does a degree in coaching, before taking on a team.  How effective do you think he would be?

Being married is not necessarily a prerequisite to giving good marriage advice, but it sure gives you a solid platform to start from. Rant over.

Romeo, I see where you're coming from. But I don't agree, otherwise all qualified midwives would need to have had children, to become midwives. The deciding factor in awarding a certificate in any chosen field, will be proven competence in that particular field, after passing exams. Not just because one has experienced certain things on a personal level.

There are exceptions, of course, whereby one has to have a hands-on approach. Like a driving instructor, who has to be able to demonstrate reasonable competence, as well as the ability to impart that competence to others.

@Siena, I just said sorry cos i dont wana join issues with anyone. And who said am not married? That is not even the issue, The poster did not come here looking for professional advice, I am free and have the right to express my veiws married or unmarried.
I said sorry cos i sensed Amxyl was angry and I just wanted the issue to end there.

@ Aisha:

@ OP are you sure this story you narrated here happened to you? or to a friend or close relative because going by the age you have on your profile it says you are 24years old. We would like to know so that we wont feel that we wasted our hard earned advices on a youngster.

Poster were you totally upfront with your wife about your medical condition before you married her? or was the low spermatozoa count only diagnosed after you got married?

My Reply: [color=#990000][/color]
I did not know that I had a low spermatozoa then, I just discovered this this year.

When you got married to your wife, why didn't you insist that you wanted her daughter to live with you; after all you are the man of the house and your descision should have been final especially in circumstances like this.

My Response:

I did insisted, but she was blunt, and to let peace reigh at home, I have to let her have her way.

Have you been 100% supportive of her & her daughter over the years? So for example do you attend her school parent teachers association meetings, know her friends, go to visit her without your wife etc. Note that I am not talking about just sending money once a month to her but to consistently actively play the step dad role even though she doesn't live with you.

Reply:

We live miles away, but I do give her calls and send recharge cards to her but my wife did not kinow of this.

When you guys started trying for a baby of your own after you got married, what was your initial attitude/reaction? and what were your family members reaction to your wife over the delay?

Reply:

At first I thought she was the one with problems but after several medical tests and nothing was diagonized in her I also went for medical test, then it discovered I am the cause of our delay in child bearing.
My parents were not happy about this and they keep on disturbing me to marry another wife. But i told them that my wife was not the cause, but I myself. So they left us alone.

I am asking all these questions/making these points because it comes across like your wife is being spiteful and you need to work out why & resolve any issues if any before trying to work on her to change her mind.

Reply:

All effort to let her reason prove abortive, even members of my Church talked to her but she was blunt.

If your woman truly loves you, she will at least give you a very good reason for her refusal for the adoption especially as she knows how important it is to you. The fact that its "business as usual" and she can rest easy knowing the torment you are going through over this issue suggests that you may knowingly or unknowingly somehow over the years have hurt her deeply.

Response:

I think she did not love me. For example, she has never given me any support since we got married. She was always nagging and will not talk to me at home. Any lady she sees me with is my girlfriend ther so many reasons that I cannot express here.

I did insisted, but she was blunt, and to let peace reigh at home, I have to let her have her way.

this is the simple answer to your initial question. practice what you've been preaching all along!

your wife must take a second husband

lovelydoll are you suggesting that the woman should practice polyandry or divorce the man?