₦airaland Forum

Forget about your dad and move on,you are a man now and should start planning for your own future by hustling, like your dad said, he owns you nothing and that’s the gospel truth. My rich uncle told my cousins that the only thing he owns them was taking care of them when they were young and the good education he made sure they had, that when he dies, all his properties belongs to the wife and she can chose to do whatever she likes with it

Thank you so much you have just said the truth unlike others claiming he does not owe us.But what can we do to make him succumb to our wishes

edoman2016:
@OP, your dad is a stingy man and doesn't care about the future of his children. In this modern world, parents training their children to university is not enough for them to be successful and independent.

There are many jobless graduates with good results living from hands to mouth because they had no parents to support them financially to establish a business or connection to get a good job.

It's your father's responsibility to settle you guys with some money out of the hotel sale so that you guys can have capital to start businesses and be financially independent. Even Donald Trump is what he is today because of his inheritance.

@OP, there is nothing wrong in expecting inheritance from one's parents. It's a biblical right and don't allow your dad to deny you.

A rich father that does not help his children simply doesn’t want them to be successful like him only shows how selfish and unreasonable he is and it is dangerous for him in the nearest future.

Triniti:
Forget about your dad and move on,you are a man now and should start planning for your own future by hustling, like your dad said, he owns you nothing and that’s the gospel truth. My rich uncle told my cousins that the only thing he owns them was taking care of them when they were young and the good education he made sure they had, that when he dies, all his properties belongs to the wife and she can chose to do whatever she likes with it

cuterichbigdick:
A rich father that does not help his children simply doesn’t want them to be successful like him only shows how selfish and unreasonable he is and it is dangerous for him in the nearest future.

Bro , forget about your fathers riches and work on becoming rich yourself, you are past 30 for crying out loud and you are still sounding like a teenager. What would have happened to you had it been your dad was poor? Stop depending on the old man,take your ass to work. I’m in my 30s and the only money I can remember receiving from my late dad who died 4 years ago was my pocket money in junior high school

cuterichbigdick:
Thank you so much you have just said the truth unlike others claiming he does not owe us.But what can we do to make him succumb to our wishes

You are shameless, between you and an armed robber the difference is small

Approach him from a business angle. You deserve your full commission as a witness. This is for service rendered.

cuterichbigdick:
Thank you so much you have just said the truth unlike others claiming he does not owe us.But what can we do to make him succumb to our wishes

Matter of fact, He has done his duty by getting you guys education. Some runaway from this. He also have a right to dash his monies out to whoever he sees fit.

You look stupid approaching him for a cut. Have a lil dignity and self respect. This is all you've got as a man.

Eketem:
You are shameless, between you and an armed robber the difference is small

What is shameless in the OP asking his father to support his children financially out of the hotel sale? You guys will just talk as if it is easy to succeed alone in this cold world.

I recalled when I graduated 7 years ago from a top federal university with good grade ( second class upper). I trekked the whole streets of Lagos submitting CVs but no job. The few jobs I got are underpaid. God bless my mother. She could see I was ambitious and hardworking but I just lacked financial support to start my own business.

My parents raised 4 million Naira and gave it to me as seed capital to kick-start my dreams. Today, I owned a booming manufacturing company with staff strength of 11 employees. Today, I am far better and ahead of my colleagues who are in white collar jobs.

In a nutshell, if a parent has the means to support their children, they should. It's an edge. The Job market is getting too competitive in the modern world. Good education is not enough.

cuterichbigdick:
Hello Good People Of Nairaland,i need your candid advice on this matter.

I'm from a family of six siblings,five boys and one girl who is in her final year in the University.Our parents had divorced since year 2001 and my father married a single mother (not legally) who already had 2 daughters but the daughters only came to my dad's house when they are on holiday.My father took custody of all his 6 children and we seldom get to hear from our mother until we are all adults.I'm the third born of the six children,i'm in my early 30s and to the best of my knowledge we are all obedient children.But i used to be the one giving my father a tough time because i expected much from him and i would tell him my opinion on matters affecting the children which usually led to beatings or scolding.

My arguments then was that since he is a rich man which everyone knew him to be,why can't he invest more in us his children by sending some of us to study abroad that most of my friends that we went to the same secondary school had traveled to different countries for studies and work but my father would always say NO and giving flimsy excuses this is as far back as year 2004.He made sure he sent all of us to different universities 3children went to private universities while other 3 went to public universities.And after school,he left us to fend for ourselves as men that we are.It wasn't easy finding a good job in this country and i would say the 5 of us are underemployed,we have jobs but underpaid.

My father had a big hotel running for 7 years and later started complaining of very poor sales and poor management amongst other things and decided that he would sell the hotel.The hotel is worth about 90 million naira which he later sold it for 55 million naira.Before he sold the hotel he had promised that he would settle all his children if he finally sells the hotel he was making us feel comfortable like we should try and find buyer and all that even though we advised him against selling the hotel which should have been our inheritance.

The problem now is that after selling the hotel for 55million naira,he did not give any of his childeren a dime from it.He gave his estranged wife who never gave birth for him 3 million naira,he gave his younger brother 2 million naira and paid tithe of 5.5 million naira to church.I thought he was still going to settle us and trying to calm my siblings until about after 4months he never said anything about our share then we decided to hold a meeting with him asking when he was going to settle us then he flared up saying he did not owe us and we are stupid,fool and all sorts of names for thinking that he would give us money from the sale of his own property.He said he had done his best for us by sending us to school that we should all learn to be on our own and all that.

I was really amazed and told him i could not believe that he is comfortable seeing his children who are mostly men work a 55,000 naira a month job and you are not concerned about ways to better our lives even when you have the money to do it.The most painful part of it is that I and my elder brother were the one that signed as witnesses on the agreement of purchase of the hotel and yet we never got a dime from the money.He is still very adamant and there is no family member that could talk to him in our favor.

What do you guys think we should do?

Oga sir! Your father doesn't owe you a shi shi! Look at it this way! What if your father doesn't have any hotel or properties? You should have been grateful he even sent you guys to school. You better leave your father alone let him enjoy his hard work.

Better still, talk to him! At his happy mood how he could help you guys achieve your dreams! Who knows, he might think about it and do the needful.

Put your mind to hustling and buy a good future for yourself too.

It hurts.
Makes u think you are not the son of ur family. In this case your whole family.
But look at it from a different perspective.

U were sent to school. Some others made it through school through their own sweat.
The problem u have and some people in ur situation is that u have already programmed ur mind for support from ur dad so u don't put in your best. These are some works that might give you money but u won't dream of doing them because they are beneath your class.

The day u and ur sibling start thinking that you are all alone and responsible for yourselves, that is the day u will start developing.
Ur dad gave u the best training which is this. One day u guys will appreciate that.

The greatest training a parent can impact on his child is value.
Look at the children of our politicians, they spend money anyhow cos they dont value it. When they work hard for it, they will learn a lot in life every passing day through such journey.

Let ur dad spend his money as he deem fit. You are not handicapped. Some smart ones started running biz while in uni.
Who knows, ur dad has looked at u all and saw u guy unworthy and decided to spend his money himself.
Why not prove him wrong.

U have sense of entitlement.
He sent u all to universities. Why not work hard and sponsor your masters abroad if u so wish.

I truly love ur dad and I sincerely wish all fathers will be like that.
He is a very smart man. U guys aren't smart at all. None of u is like us dad else there will not be this discussion.
Allow him to have his peace.
Also make sure u guys get gift for him once in a while. And text or call him always.

cuterichbigdick:
Hello Good People Of Nairaland,i need your candid advice on this matter.

I'm from a family of six siblings,five boys and one girl who is in her final year in the University.Our parents had divorced since year 2001 and my father married a single mother (not legally) who already had 2 daughters but the daughters only came to my dad's house when they are on holiday.My father took custody of all his 6 children and we seldom get to hear from our mother until we are all adults.I'm the third born of the six children,i'm in my early 30s and to the best of my knowledge we are all obedient children.But i used to be the one giving my father a tough time because i expected much from him and i would tell him my opinion on matters affecting the children which usually led to beatings or scolding.

My arguments then was that since he is a rich man which everyone knew him to be,why can't he invest more in us his children by sending some of us to study abroad that most of my friends that we went to the same secondary school had traveled to different countries for studies and work but my father would always say NO and giving flimsy excuses this is as far back as year 2004.He made sure he sent all of us to different universities 3children went to private universities while other 3 went to public universities.And after school,he left us to fend for ourselves as men that we are.It wasn't easy finding a good job in this country and i would say the 5 of us are underemployed,we have jobs but underpaid.

My father had a big hotel running for 7 years and later started complaining of very poor sales and poor management amongst other things and decided that he would sell the hotel.The hotel is worth about 90 million naira which he later sold it for 55 million naira.Before he sold the hotel he had promised that he would settle all his children if he finally sells the hotel he was making us feel comfortable like we should try and find buyer and all that even though we advised him against selling the hotel which should have been our inheritance.

The problem now is that after selling the hotel for 55million naira,he did not give any of his childeren a dime from it.He gave his estranged wife who never gave birth for him 3 million naira,he gave his younger brother 2 million naira and paid tithe of 5.5 million naira to church.I thought he was still going to settle us and trying to calm my siblings until about after 4months he never said anything about our share then we decided to hold a meeting with him asking when he was going to settle us then he flared up saying he did not owe us and we are stupid,fool and all sorts of names for thinking that he would give us money from the sale of his own property.He said he had done his best for us by sending us to school that we should all learn to be on our own and all that.

I was really amazed and told him i could not believe that he is comfortable seeing his children who are mostly men work a 55,000 naira a month job and you are not concerned about ways to better our lives even when you have the money to do it.The most painful part of it is that I and my elder brother were the one that signed as witnesses on the agreement of purchase of the hotel and yet we never got a dime from the money.He is still very adamant and there is no family member that could talk to him in our favor.

What do you guys think we should do?

Look at it from this perspective ...what if he is doing that to save your heads probably he knows what might likely happen if he gives you guys ur share thinking about your step mom.you should know it's rare to see a woman who will be so happy seeing her husband give so much wealth to her step sons and daughter....have a rethink about the whole issue bro,d eldest among u can have a 1 on 1 conversation with him(only him,nobody should follow him).No father will do that on purpose no matter how heartless he is .On d other note bro,you guys should help eachoda grow ,remember if dey r successful ,it lessen ur burden too.hustle like an orphan and I pray God will shower u guys his blessing..let your father issue slide for now but believe me ,a time will come he will need u guys by his side..bless up

I did say I will delete this as it contain personal info.
Hope @op saw it.

Triniti:
Forget about your dad and move on,you are a man now and should start planning for your own future by hustling, like your dad said, he owns you nothing and that’s the gospel truth. My rich uncle told my cousins that the only thing he owns them was taking care of them when they were young and the good education he made sure they had, that when he dies, all his properties belongs to the wife and she can chose to do whatever she likes with it

it's a good thing you said uncle and not your rich mom or dad.
I am who i am today because of my sweet mother.

I think u should fend for urself. Enter business if your salary is small. To be very honest, it's irritating hearing u say Ur father should settle u men, he sent u to school. He owes u nothing more.
I know the bible says a good father leaves inheritance for his children children. However I do find it pathetic that u are depending on it with Ur life with nothing else to show.

You all need to come together and change Ur mindset, that's probably why he gave u all nothing, cos it doesn't feel good when Ur children feel like leeches to u.?

I know u are hurting but maybe if u strive to make it by yourself, it will encourage him to chip in a bit.

He is also probably thinking u guys are not capable of making it and as such he needs to save the "little" millions to take care of himself in his ripe years especially given D system of D country m

I don't see Ur father as D problem here. Sorry.

Bro from the look of things your dad tried, sending all you guyz to school Up to University level, I give him all the praise..

You have to realise that nobody owes you anything. Coz if you keeping depending on him, you won't want to think outside the box to make ends meet.

Just don't do anything you will regret, hustle smart and make sure you don't depend on him.

It's his property, leave him to do anything he likes with the money.. I believe your an adult now so think how you can be self sufficient and also pray for grace..

I’m into haulage business which my father is aware of,I have discussed with him severally about ways he can help to expand my business but all to no avail

Chubhie:
Approach him from a business angle. You deserve your full commission as a witness. This is for service rendered.

If he was a poor dad we will not bother him in fact as a rich father we still did not bother him until he decided to sell a property for that huge amount which we signed a document as witnesses.it is only fair that he settles us

Triniti:
Bro , forget about your fathers riches and work on becoming rich yourself, you are past 30 for crying out loud and you are still sounding like a teenager. What would have happened to you had it been your dad was poor? Stop depending on the old man,take your ass to work. I’m in my 30s and the only money I can remember receiving from my late dad who died 4 years ago was my school fees in junior high school

It’s only normal that we approach him for our share he is our father and he carried us along when he wanted to sell it he even mentioned settling us,but the reason he changed his mind is what I don’t understand

Chubhie:
Matter of fact, He has done his duty by getting you guys education. Some runaway from this. He also have a right to dash his monies out to whoever he sees fit.

You look stupid approaching him for a cut. Have a lil dignity and self respect. This is all you've got as a man.

So if you were a father with well over 50 million naira in your account you won’t help your struggling children? They will only wish you die on time so they can inherit your property. I have seen a rich man that forbade his children from using any of his cars and other property,the day the rich man died was the day the children shared the cars among themselves as in they didn’t wait till the second day.it shows they have been praying for his death

Eketem:
You are shameless, between you and an armed robber the difference is small

I really appreciate your comments,yes our step mom could be a reason cuz she is not a good woman and she pretends she doesn’t know what is happening and we are not willing to involve her.But look at it this way,our father can still settle us without involving her and besides why would she not want our father to settle us when she was paid 3million naira for nothing.she doesn’t have a child for my dad

abimbola74:
Look at it from this perspective ...what if he is doing that to save your heads probably he knows what might likely happen if he gives you guys ur share thinking about your step mom.you should know it's rare to see a woman who will be so happy seeing her husband give so much wealth to her step sons and daughter....have a rethink about the whole issue bro,d eldest among u can have a 1 on 1 conversation with him(only him,nobody should follow him).No father will do that on purpose no matter how heartless he is .On d other note bro,you guys should help eachoda grow ,remember if dey r successful ,it lessen ur burden too.hustle like an orphan and I pray God will shower u guys his blessing..let your father issue slide for now but believe me ,a time will come he will need u guys by his side..bless up

Nope I don’t understand

sassysure:
I did say I will delete this as it contain personal info.
Hope @op saw it.

I don’t think he’s trying to save our heads we are not kids most of us are above 30 years and have been working for years.He knows someone like me have come across several millions so I see no reason to think we will misuse money

abimbola74:
Look at it from this perspective ...what if he is doing that to save your heads probably he knows what might likely happen if he gives you guys ur share thinking about your step mom.you should know it's rare to see a woman who will be so happy seeing her husband give so much wealth to her step sons and daughter....have a rethink about the whole issue bro,d eldest among u can have a 1 on 1 conversation with him(only him,nobody should follow him).No father will do that on purpose no matter how heartless he is .On d other note bro,you guys should help eachoda grow ,remember if dey r successful ,it lessen ur burden too.hustle like an orphan and I pray God will shower u guys his blessing..let your father issue slide for now but believe me ,a time will come he will need u guys by his side..bless up

cuterichbigdick:
So if you were a father with well over 50 million naira in your account you won’t help your struggling children? They will only wish you die on time so they can inherit your property. I have seen a rich man that forbade his children from using any of his cars and other property,the day the rich man died was the day the children shared the cars among themselves as in they didn’t wait till the second day.it shows they have been praying for his death

Again you are shameless counting somebody's sweat, go and make your own money

cuterichbigdick:
Hello Good People Of Nairaland,i need your candid advice on this matter.

I'm from a family of six siblings,five boys and one girl who is in her final year in the University.Our parents had divorced since year 2001 and my father married a single mother (not legally) who already had 2 daughters but the daughters only came to my dad's house when they are on holiday.My father took custody of all his 6 children and we seldom get to hear from our mother until we are all adults.I'm the third born of the six children,i'm in my early 30s and to the best of my knowledge we are all obedient children.But i used to be the one giving my father a tough time because i expected much from him and i would tell him my opinion on matters affecting the children which usually led to beatings or scolding.

My arguments then was that since he is a rich man which everyone knew him to be,why can't he invest more in us his children by sending some of us to study abroad that most of my friends that we went to the same secondary school had traveled to different countries for studies and work but my father would always say NO and giving flimsy excuses this is as far back as year 2004.He made sure he sent all of us to different universities 3children went to private universities while other 3 went to public universities.And after school,he left us to fend for ourselves as men that we are.It wasn't easy finding a good job in this country and i would say the 5 of us are underemployed,we have jobs but underpaid.

My father had a big hotel running for 7 years and later started complaining of very poor sales and poor management amongst other things and decided that he would sell the hotel.The hotel is worth about 90 million naira which he later sold it for 55 million naira.Before he sold the hotel he had promised that he would settle all his children if he finally sells the hotel he was making us feel comfortable like we should try and find buyer and all that even though we advised him against selling the hotel which should have been our inheritance.

The problem now is that after selling the hotel for 55million naira,he did not give any of his childeren a dime from it.He gave his estranged wife who never gave birth for him 3 million naira,he gave his younger brother 2 million naira and paid tithe of 5.5 million naira to church.I thought he was still going to settle us and trying to calm my siblings until about after 4months he never said anything about our share then we decided to hold a meeting with him asking when he was going to settle us then he flared up saying he did not owe us and we are stupid,fool and all sorts of names for thinking that he would give us money from the sale of his own property.He said he had done his best for us by sending us to school that we should all learn to be on our own and all that.

I was really amazed and told him i could not believe that he is comfortable seeing his children who are mostly men work a 55,000 naira a month job and you are not concerned about ways to better our lives even when you have the money to do it.The most painful part of it is that I and my elder brother were the one that signed as witnesses on the agreement of purchase of the hotel and yet we never got a dime from the money.He is still very adamant and there is no family member that could talk to him in our favor.

What do you guys think we should do?

If your father was waiting for his father's inheritance,would he have built that hotel. Instead of you to hustle for yourself,your talking bout inheriting another man's property..Mehn your an overgrown oger.

Very stingy man.... Those blasting up there saying go and work would have done otherwise.
You guys sign that paper and stood for him, if he engage the help of an agent or lawyers he would have paid them..

You need to pray hard let God opened your eyes who knows he might have something in his cupboard. All children no good job plus his mean act hmmmmmmmm
.



Finally forget the money, don't act otherwise leave him and hold God tight most of this big men hmmmm

cuterichbigdick:
A rich father that does not help his children simply doesn’t want them to be successful like him only shows how selfish and unreasonable he is and it is dangerous for him in the nearest future.

Please I want to know, why is it dangerous for him?

Can you answer these questions too?
Do you (and your brothers) contribute to your father's upkeep regularly, no matter how little?
Do you guys buy gifts for him?
Have you guys recognized a significant need that he had and took care of it (even though you know he can afford it?)
Does your Father demand money from you guys? Does he tell you how to spend your money?

I think you are being incredibly selfish. You have refused to consider your father side of things.
Your Father is getting old, he cannot work as he used to in the past.
He needs to save for his own upkeep. Old people need to survive too, they often have chronic illnesses that require recurrent spending.
You guys are young and you can hustle. Allow that man to live the remainder of his life on his own terms. He has worked, let his reap the fruit of his labour.

Guitarlife:
Well the interesting thing for me here is that he paid 5.5Million naira to a church as tithe but did not give his children a dime.

mmmnmnnnnmmm okay.

Unfortunately many Nigerians put their "love" for God before the love for humanity. A friend told me of a "Pastor" who owned an engineering firm where he was fond of owing his staff salaries and will advise the staff to resign after some months since he cannot pay his/her salary only to hire a new person almost immediately and play the same script.

This pastor though kept sponsoring Church events.

1John4:20 - Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.

HarunaWest:
If your father was waiting for his father's inheritance,would he have built that hotel. Instead of you to hustle for yourself,your talking bout inheriting another man's property..Mehn your an overgrown oger.

Bro, I quite agree with you that the children should wipe any sense of entitlement, but I don't expect a father to treat his children that way. Perhaps the father is under the whims of his new "wife".

nwanneni:
it's a good thing you said uncle and not your rich mom or dad.
I am who i am today because of my sweet mother.

Different case scenario, your mom helped you because she wants to, op’s dad does not give a damn about him, now dude wants to kill his old man because of 55milliion, did you commit any crime for your mom to help you?

Triniti:
Different case scenario, your mom helped you because she wants to, op’s dad does not give a damn about him, now dude wants to kill his old man because of 55milliion, did you commit any crime for your mom to help you?

well,you are right!

It is dangerous for him in the nearest future in the sense that he is still going to need us when he grows older and we may not be there for him as most of us have decided to be far from him.We were good children to him as we served him well,there was never a bad report from the outside about any of us.My father does not demand money from us cuz he has enough but we did buy him gifts whenever any of us went to visit him.For example some one like me would buy 25 litres of diesel to give to him to power his Generator or sometimes buy recharge cards.BUT i think you guys are not getting it,we are not asking him to share all the money to us but atleast if it's 1 or 2 million naira each it is still something,remember i told you my elder brother and i were the witnesses my father presented to sign for him.

The amount of money he gives to us is not as important as the joy it brings to know that our father cares for us even if na 500k.Please don't be biased in your reasoning,you keep shouting he does not owe his children,did he owe his younger brother,wife and church that he shared money to??that alone shows he values outsiders more than his own children.

elektra:
Please I want to know, why is it dangerous for him?

Can you answer these questions too?
Do you (and your brothers) contribute to your father's upkeep regularly, no matter how little?
Do you guys buy gifts for him?
Have you guys recognized a significant need that he had and took care of it (even though you know he can afford it?)
Does your Father demand money from you guys? Does he tell you how to spend your money?

I think you are being incredibly selfish. You have refused to consider your father side of things.
Your Father is getting old, he cannot work as he used to in the past.
He needs to save for his own upkeep. Old people need to survive too, they often have chronic illnesses that require recurrent spending.
You guys are young and you can hustle. Allow that man to live the remainder of his life on his own terms. He has worked, let his reap the fruit of his labour.

You are just so dumb,who talks about killing anybody here,in fact even though i'm the one who brought this matter here,i'm still the one that is least concerned about the matter cuz i have done mostly all what a successful man should do in life even before my father sold the hotel but i'm just concerned about my other siblings cuz there is an adage that says one rich man among 6 poor men,they are all poor men.

Triniti:
Different case scenario, your mom helped you because she wants to, op’s dad does not give a damn about him, now dude wants to kill his old man because of 55milliion, did you commit any crime for your mom to help you?