ada24:

unhappy is not the same as successful - a lot of women remain in unhappy marrigaes in nigeria for various reasons.

i wasn't even talking about Igbo talking about naija as a whole. Some of u men say that women have too much power cos they call police when u beat them in the US - don't u men know that hitting a grown adult is a crime.

My sister called the police in illinois because she was having an agurement with the husband.Up till today i am still asking her why?

oyinda.:

lol like my mom always says: if you are taking too long to find an outfit to wear, it means you have too many clothes. because if you only have a few clothes, u won't have the time and option to be sorting through your closet.
like your friend has already mentioned, men outnumber women 5:1. so you guys have the time and option to be sorting through women for "quality". i don't blame you. it's because u have too many options.

maybe you should ask your great grand father if he was looking for "quality" when searching for a wife back in d days.
nowadays even the laziest, ugliest, most broke man is looking for quality. lol women don suffer.


my bad. didn't know u were asking morpheus24 specifically.
but anyways, i recommend u ask a nairaland man who IS MARRIED. like sienna maybe. he brought his wife from naija and he seem happy with a beautiful family. he was dating oyinbo prior to that.

An Igbo man marries a wife FOR LIFE. He is not marrying for show, or for only good times. He seeks out that woman who can stay the course through thick and thin, and  who would never forget their own culture which has been tested for thousands of years.

I AM HAPPILY MARRIED.

Please this advise is for Igbo men mainly.

Cohomology:

morpheus24,

So, what do you recommend for a Naija guy living in the US, well-educated and wants to marry a Naija girl that won't give him wahala? Go home to marry or marry in the US?

Bros go home, I repeat again, Go home or better still try to mess with girls that live in Europe who are far better than the ones in the US. Europe still has good elements of culture and values.

And please when you go home don't go and pic some hungry woman, know your levels when you enter town.

oyinda.:


my bad. didn't know u were asking morpheus24 specifically.
but anyways, i recommend u ask a nairaland man who IS MARRIED. like sienna maybe. he brought his wife from naija and he seem happy with a beautiful family. he was dating oyinbo prior to that.

Oh, don't get me started with the UK, where Sienna lives!

In the UK, the distrust Naija men have of Naija women is higher than in the US.

Why did a good man like Sienna go back to Naija to get his wife?

I know a lot of Naija guys living in the States that have done, are doing and will do the same. Why?

asha 80:

[/b]

My sister called the police in illinois because she was having an agurement with the husband.Up till today i am still asking her why?

You were certain it was only an argument?
Many abused women never speak up anyway, probably tell lies here and there to cover up for the abusive man.

morpheus24:

Bros go home, I repeat again, Go home or better still try to mess with girls that live in Europe who are far better than the ones in the US. Europe still has good elements of culture and values.

And please when you go home don't go and pic some hungry woman, know your levels when you enter town.

Bros, thank you very much.

morpheus24:

Bros go home, I repeat again, Go home or better still try to mess with girls that live in Europe who are far better than the ones in the US. Europe still has good elements of culture and values.

And please when you go home don't go and pic some hungry woman, know your levels when you enter town.

To support your point a little, it might be better to find someone who can bring herself to the US (ie through lottery visa or other legal ways), example, those who used to visit here before. They come better equipped to handle the culture shock. They already know what the deal is.

Those might be my only exception.

chiogo:

You were certain it was only an argument?
Many abused women never speak up anyway, probably tell lies here and there to cover up for the abusive man.

Cold cynicism, typical!

asha 80:

[/b]

My sister called the police in illinois because she was having an agurement with the husband.Up till today i am still asking her why?

asha 80,

If you don't mind, do you happen to know where your sister met her husband? Nigeria or the States?

Thank you.

Onlytruth:

To support your point a little, it might be better to find someone who can bring herself to the US (ie through lottery visa or other legal ways), example, those who used to visit here before. They come better equipped to handle the culture shock. They already know what the deal is.

Those might be my only exception.

There are a multitude of girls in nigeria who frequent the US, Uk and other European, Asian and middle eastern countries

Cohomology:

Cold cynicism, typical!

Umm, excuse me for wanting to deal with facts. Unless the poster was present while the sister made the call, we don't know for sure what led to it. Most abuse cases are usually kept on the low anyway until someone gets locked up or beaten to death.

You men here make me laugh with your posts. It's the same mentality being displayed here that the men who killed their wives also had. And you continue to do the same thing that's been proven to fail. Just like the Nigerian government, I'm not surprised.

Onlytruth:

An Igbo man marries a wife FOR LIFE. He is not marrying for show, or for only good times. He seeks out that woman who can stay the course through thick and thin, and  who would never forget their own culture which has been tested for thousands of years.

I AM HAPPILY MARRIED.

Please this advise is for Igbo men mainly.

so did u go back to naija to find ur wife?
the part in bold is really sad to me. is that why the igbo men are killing their wives? because they don't want divorce?
and how are you sure that a woman is not capable of changing? ie if she becomes disatisfied with the man's behavior does she have to endure it? or if her behavior changes, will u endure it?

anyways, i'm wondering what u men have to say about urselves. you say naija women abroad are no good. what do you think of naija men abroad? i mean i know your opinion will be biased. but i want to hear it to have an idea.

Cohomology:

Oh, don't get me started with the UK, where Sienna lives!

In the UK, the distrust Naija men have of Naija women is higher than in the US.

Why did a good man like Sienna go back to Naija to get his wife?

I know a lot of Naija guys living in the States that have done, are doing and will do the same. Why?

yea i heard. the naija women are even more distrustful of the naija men over there.
i mean even women go back home to find husbands.

all of it is pointless to me anyways. i find it silly i mean. but well, whatever works!!

morpheus24:

There are a multitude of girls in nigeria who frequent the US, Uk and other European, Asian and middle eastern countries

That my friend's wife-to-be spends her summer vacation in the UK and goes shopping sometimes in Dubai and Paris. She's educated, exposed and knows what's up. Her high point is the courtesy and cordiality she brings to the relationship. The Naija women in the US at her "status" (can someone suggest a better word? I don't care for this one) are many times too arrogant to have any meaningful conversation with.

Onlytruth:

[size=14pt]An Igbo man marries a wife FOR LIFE. He is not marrying for show, or for only good times. He seeks out that woman who can stay the course through thick and thin, and  who would never forget their own culture which has been tested for thousands of years. [/size]
I AM HAPPILY MARRIED.

Please this advise is for Igbo men mainly.

This is nothing but fantasy being presented as reality!

There millions of cases of men abandoning their wives and children even in Ibo land. PLease NO ONE SHOULD BELIEVE this crock!! Ibos should be treated on  individual basis on this. I even have a relative whose husband abandoned her and her kids after only a few years of marriage . . . the man is now on his third wife and has no desire to see his other children, yet he is an ibo man.

oyinda.:

maybe you should ask your great grand father if he was looking for "quality" when searching for a wife back in d days.
nowadays even the laziest, ugliest, most broke man is looking for quality. lol women don suffer.

So basically, Nigerian women should beware of Nigerian men, esp Igbo men abi?

Thanks for the advice o. . . . chei!

I live to die another day. . . . hopefully another day is 80yrs from now.

There are conceited beings on both sides but the reality is, the people involved so far have been nothing but people who have expected to be treated as 'gods' or like they were told they ought to be. These people found out too late that reality of marriage will likely not line up with their perception and so they decided to take the law in to their own hands.

For those foaming in the mouth that women in the US or UK are bad and low quality, I will ask why the same trend exists even today in Nigeria? There are so many cases of men killing their wives even in Nigeria. Only our media does not do a good job reporting all these cases right there in Nigeria as we would want have loved. But a good question to ask is why are there also cases of men killing their wives right there in Nigeria? These are wives who have probably never been to the UK or US or any other country -- many of them uneducated and not FEMINISTS in the western sense of the word.

Kobojunkie:

There are conceited beings on both sides but the reality is, the people involved so far have been nothing but people who have expected to be treated as 'gods' or like they were told they ought to be. These people found out too late that reality of marriage will likely not line up with their perception and so they decided to take the law in to their own hands.

For those foaming in the mouth that women in the US or UK are bad and low quality, I will ask why the same trend exists even today in Nigeria? There are so many cases of men killing their wives even in Nigeria. Only our media does not do a good job reporting all these cases right there in Nigeria as we would want have loved.  But a good question to ask is why are there also cases of men killing their wives right there in Nigeria? These are wives who have probably never been to the UK or US or any other country -- many of them uneducated and not FEMINISTS in the western sense of the word.

They're not going to address the points you brought up. I just laugh at the talk about Nigerian women in the US being wayward because I'm pretty sure these women that were killed were brought from Nigeria after living there for years. I repeat, nobody will remain a door-mat forever regardless of the village you sought her out from.

The ignorance is amazing, really.

^
it's the 5:1 ratio of women to men that's messing up their minds. too many women around, they're confused about who to pick.
if they didn't have all d options, i wonder if they'll be complaining at all.

Kobojunkie:

This is nothing but fantasy being presented as reality!

There millions of cases of men abandoning their wives and children even in Ibo land. PLease NO ONE SHOULD BELIEVE this crock!! Ibos should be treated on  individual basis on this. I even have a relative whose husband abandoned her and her kids after only a few years of marriage . . . the man is now on his third wife and has no desire to see his other children, yet he is an ibo man.

chiogo:

I repeat, nobody will remain a door-mat forever regardless of the village you sought her out from.

The ignorance is amazing, really.

exactly!!!!

Kobojunkie:

There are conceited beings on both sides but the reality is, the people involved so far have been nothing but people who have expected to be treated as 'gods' or like they were told they ought to be. These people found out too late that reality of marriage will likely not line up with their perception and so they decided to take the law in to their own hands.

For those foaming in the mouth that women in the US or UK are bad and low quality, I will ask why the same trend exists even today in Nigeria? There are so many cases of men killing their wives even in Nigeria. Only our media does not do a good job reporting all these cases right there in Nigeria as we would want have loved. But a good question to ask is why are there also cases of men killing their wives right there in Nigeria? These are wives who have probably never been to the UK or US or any other country -- many of them uneducated and not FEMINISTS in the western sense of the word.

Is this an opinion or an observation?

If the media hardly reports them, as you claimed, then are you aware of any studies or did you conduct any studies that identified such a trend?

Can you point to anything to justify your assertion?

chiogo:

They're not going to address the points you brought up. I just laugh at the talk about Nigerian women in the US being wayward because I'm pretty sure [size=13pt]these women that were killed were brought from Nigeria after living there for years.[/size] I repeat, nobody will remain a door-mat forever regardless of the village you sought her out from.

The ignorance is amazing, really.

I forgot to mention that as well . . . most all of the victims fall under that flag . . . women brought over from Nigeria or some other country,only to be killed by those who brought them over.

chiogo:

They're not going to address the points you brought up. I just laugh at the talk about Nigerian women in the US being wayward because I'm pretty sure these women that were killed were brought from Nigeria after living there for years. I repeat, nobody will remain a door-mat forever regardless of the village you sought her out from.

The ignorance is amazing, really.

What points? Points pulled from thin air? By her own admission, the Nigerian press does a poor job reporting this, then what other source is she basing her assertion?

oyinda.:

^
it's the 5:1 ratio of women to men that's messing up their minds. too many women around, they're confused about who to pick.
if they didn't have all d options, i wonder if they'll be complaining at all.

They actually don't have much of a choice hence, they run cowardly back home for a wife they don't even know well. I think the women here are aware of their mentality to be treated like gods while them, as slaves so they don't want them. They run to naija claiming women here are bla-bla-bla. And the ones in Naija would be desperate to move to the States and after staying for a while, they become just like the ones that have been living here for long. These men get scared after all they've "invested" and cut her up like a piece of meat.

Cohomology:

What points? Points pulled from thin air? By her own admission, the Nigerian press does a poor job reporting this, then what other source is she basing her assertion?

Dude, it's not rocket science. Even crimes that are not committed against women are rarely dealt with by the "law" in Nigeria. So, yes, there may be many cases of wife-butchering that have gone unreported because the police don't care enough.

Cohomology:

Is this an opinion or an observation?

It is an observation as I know of at least 3 cases in my area alone in the last year that never made the papers, even in my area but the oro festival and the Oba purchasing a new car did make the front pages in the same period.

Cohomology:

If the media hardly reports them, as you claimed, then are you aware of any studies or did you conduct any studies that identified such a trend?

What exactly would I need a study to do in this case? The media does not report all cases of killings means I need a study or need to conduct some study to know this?

Cohomology:

Can you point to anything to justify your assertion?

huh??  Why would I need to have a  study justify this, by the way?

chiogo:

They're not going to address the points you brought up. I just laugh at the talk about Nigerian women in the US being wayward because I'm pretty sure these women that were killed were brought from Nigeria after living there for years. I repeat, nobody will remain a door-mat forever regardless of the village you sought her out from.

The ignorance is amazing, really.

don't mind them the only news is to be showing national assembly everyday and one nonsense project a governor is commissioning or discussing football.

spousal abuse is never reported, u only hear of child molestation in newspapers, people are always talking about how a woman should behave and keep her home but ultimately if a man is the head the resposibilty of the success or failure of his home and marriage is on their head. instead u have ignorant mothers telling off the daughter in law and not the son.


NONSENSE.

Cohomology:

What points? Points pulled from thin air? By her own admission, the Nigerian press does a poor job reporting this, then what other source is she basing her assertion?

What assertion? 

I tell you that these sort of killings happen right there in Nigeria. Even though our media does not get them all, you can easily look up the ones that were to understand that this sort of killings happen in Nigeria, only we cannot really tell how many there have been because not all of them make the news but if our police keeps records, you could go do a study to come inform us on the approximate on that.

Now you want me to carry out a study to state that? ROFLMAO!!

true talk @kobojunkie

Cohomology:

Is this an opinion or an observation?

If the media hardly reports them, as you claimed, then are you aware of any studies or did you conduct any studies that identified such a trend?

Can you point to anything to justify your assertion?

I know a man who threw his wife in d well. they were a family friend. fortunately neighbors saved her life.
they fight almost everyday.
I've also seen a woman (on my way to sch.)  who was bleeding to d police station with a crowd about her. her husband had beat her up
many naija couples live like that. sometimes d woman run away b4 it happens or d man kick her out and bring another woman in.

yet it's taboo to "divorce" in naija. even though many couples separate 4 life everyday!!

if we had a more transparent media in naija, i can't imagine d stuff we will be hearing in d news everyday. thank God for juju. juju explains it all. "ie my wife was a witch and was killed by d black birds in her sleep" lol  

oyinda.:

true talk @kobojunkie

yet it's taboo to "divorce" in naija.[size=13pt] even though many couples separate 4 life everyday!![/size]
if we had a more transparent media in naija, i can't imagine d stuff we will be hearing in d news everyday. thank God for juju. juju explains it all. "ie my wife was a witch and was killed by d black birds in her sleep" lol

ROFLMAO!!

ada24:

don't mind them the only news is to be showing national assembly everyday and one nonsense project a governor is commissioning or discussing football.

spousal abuse is never reported, u only hear of child molestation in newspapers, people are always talking about how a woman should behave and keep her home but ultimately if a man is the head the resposibilty of the success or failure of his home and marriage is on their head. instead u have ignorant mothers telling off the daughter in law and not the son.


NONSENSE.

In Nigeria where "Men have needs" and women are simply properties, there is no such thing as wife abuse or spouse abuse.

Women belong to men and they should act docile and like doormats.

Men are simply scolded by officials [if any abuse was reported] without any punishment.

Like some men on NL said. . . . Nigeria is the place to be and women should not forget their roles.

remember the naija man who battered his wife with a baseball bat recently in florida. he told d police she had an heart attack!!imagine!! he thought he was still in naija.
woman with numerous bodily injuries and blood all over. and u couldn't find a better cover up? lol

Maybe the cop was black. He thought he was talking to a naija police nau

oyinda.:

remember the naija man who battered his wife with a baseball bat recently in florida. he told d police she had an heart attack!!imagine!! he thought he was still in naija.
woman with numerous bodily injuries and blood all over. and u couldn't find a better cover up? lol

don't mind the fool. is it not one story i heard in nigeria where the man beat his pregnant wife to lead to miscarraige and then when she fled to her fathers house told both sides of the extended family that she aborted the baby.

some of these men on this board should take the infalted male ego out of it and look at this intelligently - u cannot behave like an animal in the western world with ur wife - if u know that u will loose everything when u divorce work on ur marriage - don't kill her or start making her life hell. if she is helping financially u must do little things in the home to help just as she is helping u keep the home. its nt rocket science