please do not criticise me but i need your advise.
Precisely 2004 i gained admission into one of the higher institutions in nigeria. I met this girl who was also a fresher like i was. We started dating toward the end of the first semester and i was so much in love with her. I thought she was perfect but she wasn't. She was evil and she made me the devil i am today. I was just an 18yr old virgin who never had any experience with women but she made me have sex with her with protection and she came back a month later and told me she was pregnant. It was exam time and i was scared and confused and i couln't read. for the first time in my life i failed woefully. I had a gp of 1.21. I had to tell lies to my parents to get #10000 to get rid of the baby. But when we resumed for the second semester i found out that not only was she seeing two other guys, she was having unprotected sex with one of them regularly. I was shocked and depressed. I loved her and she was my first love. We broke up and she was able to make it to 200L while i wasn't able to make it because of my 1st semester gp. I had to repeat the 1st year. I changed from the faithful caring guy that i was into the devil i am today. I toiled with many people's hearts and i've disvirgined many within the last 5years. i've found love now and we've been dating for a year. We want to get married by 2011 but i've not been faithful to her. I stay in the east and she's serving in the north. I can't just control myself. I just want to sleep with every girl i talk to. I recently got out of my two other relationships but i found myself doing what i said i won't do again yesternight. I had sex with another girl. please advice me on what to do. I want to have a happy home but i won't have a happy home if i continue with this unfaithful attitude which i seem to be addicted to. Please tell me what to do

very simple, just meet any mallam tell them to use ur manliness for surya or kilishe.

Zombie nobody can put u out of ur misery except u.

discipline yourself first before u can overcome

no1manufan:

please do not criticise me but i need your advise.
Precisely 2004 i gained admission into one of the higher institutions in nigeria. I met this girl who was also a fresher like i was. We started dating toward the end of the first semester and i was so much in love with her. I thought she was perfect but she wasn't. She was evil and she made me the devil i am today. I was just an 18yr old virgin who never had any experience with women but she made me have intimacy with her with protection and she came back a month later and told me she was pregnant. It was exam time and i was scared and confused and i couln't read. for the first time in my life i failed woefully. I had a gp of 1.21. I had to tell lies to my parents to get #10000 to get rid of the baby. But when we resumed for the second semester i found out that not only was she seeing two other guys, she was having unprotected sex with one of them regularly. I was shocked and depressed. I loved her and she was my first love. We broke up and she was able to make it to 200L while i wasn't able to make it because of my 1st semester gp. I had to repeat the 1st year. I changed from the faithful caring guy that i was into the devil i am today. I toiled with many people's hearts and i've disvirgined many within the last 5years. i've found love now and we've been dating for a year. We want to get married by 2011 but i've not been faithful to her. I stay in the east and she's serving in the north. I can't just control myself. I just want to sleep with every girl i talk to. I recently got out of my two other relationships but i found myself doing what i said i won't do again yesternight. I had sex with another girl. please advice me on what to do. I want to have a happy home but i won't have a happy home if i continue with this unfaithful attitude which i seem to be addicted to. Please tell  me what to do

Poster
I pray u do come towards my GF [size=4pt](Omolola)[/size] I wont hesistate to send a direct blow straight  to your teeth  that would leave 8 of them packing!

^^^lol. . . The deed would have been done already

just cut it off okay

The guy is asking for advice, give him sensible answers or pass through. na wa!

submit urself 2 God. .Resist d devil,and he'll run away from u.

first of all, just cus one girl cheated on you don mean you should take it out on other girls that don have nothing to do with it

you need to srt looking at pple differently and judge them by what they do and not take things out on them

try and focus on your girlfriend ONLY

maybe tell her what happened to you and the past

and let her know you are trying to be carefull not that she will do the same but take things slow and get to know each other

cus all dis sleeping around u are doing, u might get what you don't bargain for all because you trying to prove a point

and you become the biggest LOSER

derolly:

very simple, just meet any mallam tell them to use your manliness for surya or kilishe.

Zombie nobody can put u out of your misery except u.

You needn’t had said anything since you obviously had nothing to say. Not a must to reply all threads.

@Poster

I feel you but you have to face the fact that no one can help but you. The fact that you are aware of what the problem is, is a major step forward. The bitterness is still in you and until you let go of the pain and move forward you'll never get it right.  Quit holding onto the past (it’s gone), today is a gift (that is why it’s called “present”) and you don’t know what tomorrow holds for you. Don’t mar your future cuz of some bitter past experiences (Trust me, it’s not worth it).

The second step is “DISCIPLINE”, help yourself.

May God help you.

papa190:

^^
The 11th epistle of #1madman

hahaha!

Avoid places, things and persons that will put you to the test. Kepp yourself busy, an idle mind is the devils workshop. Also, make that firm resolution that you won't cheat and you won't. Take care and God bless.

become a chelsea fan,

man u is exclusively for dudes with self control like me

u got to sacrifice d pleasure u derive from dat un-holy scheme to enable u have a happy home, although it's always a tall order to get rid of a set habit.

A problem diagnosed is moreorless half solved,,,u should be happy that u were able to figure out what exactly ur self inflicting prob is.

Left for u to make a decision and stand by it, if u really cheerish a happy home; it's a matter of value/ choice. ''Don't say nobody advised u''

@ Adebola
someone has been watching too many cartoons , loved that quote from master ugwe in "kung fu panda".

@ poster
Me thinks you gotta go see your first girlfriend , if you can , and pour out your feelings. It was what I did when I started hating girls after a similar scenario with my first love , now I don't harbour such feelings , alternatively you have to work on your mindset but don't expect instant result.

@derolly
you are right just meet any mallam tell them to use your manliness for surya or kilishe.i guess this boy have brain n mind injury

Its just the grace of God that can save you from Sexual Intercourse b4 marriage.
You need to ask God for the Grace to resist that sexual urge.Cos with your strength you can do noting.
Also help your self by going for HIV test and Thinking more about how you will feel if you get sexually transmitted infection cos CD's is not enough.
No 30 mins pleasure is worth it .Think wise now!!!!! I will also pray for you.Good luck.

its a gradual process. define yourself, your future and your reasoning.

@OP
've been in ur shoes i knw hw u feel- seriously and dem ladies make it difficult each passing moment, dye ar getting prettier, sexier, hotter- tis like drug u get hooked on-especially if u knw u can easily get em- hw did i ovacom dis "shamefu l' habit- i cant remember-wen u find out abeg holla @ur boy

She used you and hurt you, and now you are going around doing the same to numb the pain, just that what you are doing cannot fill the void, but instead leaves you unfulfilled and wanting for more. . .


You are on the right path already by acknowledging you have a problem, as people that are sex addicts usually deny and try to cover up because they are often ashamed of their uncontrollable urges, but you don't have to beat yourself up about it because it is a chemical inbalance triggered by your first experience with love, which you need outside intervention to control/cure.


Known cure include psychotherapy counselling, support groups, hypnosis, recovery programme or medication, and of course, God. Wish you all the best.

nobody can put u out of your misery except u.

gbam.


i must say, i do tend to give a gigantic yawn anytime i hear this blame game excuse.

yes, a girl used you, tricked you and made you fail in school.

however, years later, is she still perched on your shoulder and making you sleep with the other multiple women in your line of vision?

the sooner you accept responsibility for your actions and s.ex addiction [regardless what caused or stimulated it], the better.

but if that's too hard, then continue as you are.

poster you really have no excuse for your current behavior. I can understand that you were hurt and you decided to lash out but my dude it's been years when are you going to decided to move on from the hurt you recieved?

When you decided to leave the hurt feelings of what that girl did to you then you can start to change. If you are still running around using the fact that you were hurt as an excuse to hurt other then you really haven't grown or learnt anything. work on why you are still holding on to that hurt then let it go and then move on with your life.

hope that helps

@all respond, Una dey fall mugu for this message wey the Nollywood unknown star just put here, What a pity,

submit urself 2 God. .Resist d devil,and he'll run away from u.

Pastor madman has spoken.  

My advice to you is, dont let one person have this much control over your life! Dont let her destroy you. What point are you making by sleeping around? What point are you trying to prove? The only thing you will accomplish by sleeping around is unwanted pregnancies and AIDS or other forms of STDs. Be very careful.
Do not put people in the same category. Just because ONE person broke your heart does not mean you should not give others a chance. How would you feel out of proving a point, that your ex is happily married with 2.5 kids, a dog and a white picket fence sleeping peacefully at night? While you are here suffering on your sick bed hating her and dying of AIDS?
Do not let anyone control you. You have control over your own destiny. You CAN stop. BUT, you have to really WANT to.

Dear poster.

Are you an adult or are you a child? Did you say you are a graduate (we have very many half baked graduates these days)

This issue doesnt warrant coming to Nairaland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are we the ones to hold you zip when you want them down? Are we the ones to chase the girls away when you ask them to come? Are we the ones to close their legs when you open them? Are we the ones that would hold down your waste from going up and down?

Who took off the girls pants Were you sleeping while it was going on

My friend wake up to reality!!!!! Coming to Nairaland is an serious approach. If you put in th same effort it took you to look for the girls while resisting, then you have a chance. There is no magic in these things, only self will with prayers and a busy mind will do it for you.

Please face your fears and conquer them