You’re probably still oblivious of the potentials of alcohol consumption in the language learning process. Well, here’s a backdrop: researchers have found that consuming a specified amount of alcohol enhances proficiency level in foreign language learners especially with respect to speech. This according to them is hinged on the ability of alcohol to mitigate inhibitions, give language users the requisite confidence to utilize these languages without reservations or edginess.

Many would readily wash a bottle of liquor down their throats with gusto or, at least, raise a toast to having found yet another justification for their unparalleled splurge on alcoholic drinks. Wouldn’t it be delightful to come to learn of the availability of proficiency packages in peels and alcohol pints? Would learners really hesitate grappling at opportunities of notching up themselves and becoming the wordsmith they’ve long dreamt of? Probably not! However, there is need to jog up the evens with the odds, scrutinize the possibilities from vantage angles and ascertain the factuality of this cliché lest we find ourselves carrying around a hip flask full of booze just so we can communicate!

That the human brain is capable of acquiring new information in its subconscious state, even during slumber is a generally agreed upon view in literature. But it appears the case of alcohol is a relatively new one. Bilinguals have long held that alcohol consumption must definitely have a way of improving the proficiency of second language users. However, this view had remained hypothetical until a recent study conducted by a group of researchers at the Maastricht University in Netherlands proved otherwise.

The study included 50 native German speakers who had recently learned Dutch, had attested to taking alcohol only occasionally and had recently passed a Dutch language proficiency exam. Half the participants in the study were given a low dose of alcohol, the amount of which was determined by the weight and body type of each participant, while the rest were given non-alcoholic placebos. Thereafter, the participants were made to interact with a number of Dutch native speakers who judged their proficiency without knowledge of those who did or didn’t take alcohol. From this, it was discovered that speakers on alcohol were rated as being more proficient than their sober counterparts and hence, the resolve became that moderate alcohol consumption does have reassuring effects on foreign language usage after all.

Though this not suggestive of the porousness of the research, there is a need to reconsider a few specifics that are characteristic of this rather popular philosophical inquiry. One doesn’t need a soothsayer to notice the undeniable intelligibility existing between German and Dutch; hence the reason why any relatively experienced German in Netherlands should be able to take on Dutch without tedious efforts. More so, Netherland and Germany share a border and there is expected to be some sort of linguistic intercourse between the two countries especially when Maastricht University is situated not so far away from the border of Netherlands with Germany. What if there was some sort of conspiracy in sampling technique under the operation of which the speakers were chosen, giving undue advantage to those who actually spoke the language better and, of course, free alcoholic drinks? Another possibility!

The negative effects of alcohol consumption are not far-fetched. Alcohol has been shown to impair cognitive and motor functions, negatively affect memory and attention and lead to overconfidence with inflated self-evaluations on the long run. Do we need to re-iterate that one would need repeated administration of the alcohol potions if one is to maintain the questionable and delusive proficiency? What alcohol actually does is to create an utterly refined realm of mental illusion with its intrinsic self-gratification informed by the secretion of excessive dopamine, a hormone that creates euphoria, reduces ego and inhibitions, and apparently helps the speakers blurt out a string of nonsense utterances without much concern for probable errors or grammaticality. Does alcohol then truly improves foreign language proficiency or rather sophisticates the exuding of gibberish talks?

Of course, a popular anecdotal account had a friend swearing that a drunken colleague of his made no bit of sense when same experiment was replicated with Spanish. What are the odds then? Do we say that our German-Dutch researchers were being subjective in some way, wanting to throw up ground-breaking research findings; confirm to their own advantage the long-held but non-empirical beliefs of many while attracting attention to themselves? Let’s not even motion towards the seemingly underplayed fact that the slightly intoxicated speakers ranked higher only on metrics like pronunciation, leaving out the aspect of vocabulary and grammar which the researchers noted are comparable across the groups. It appears then that people aren’t often interested in the ideal answers to these questions since they’ve apparently taken sides prior to the declaration of the results and are keen on giving credence to the idea that alcohol consumption is a plus for language learners and users. Researchers, writers and booze dealers have no other choice but to tell them what they want to hear for the accompanying perks!

Rather than keeping handy a hoard of booze for a refill whenever you’re faced with the need to communicate, there are alternative strategies that can be exerted to engender the requisite confidence comparable to that which is often sought after by means of alcohol consumption. Like Joe Girard has noted, “The elevator to success is out of order; you’d have to use the stairs one step at a time.” Alcoholism is no substitute for fervent practice and would probably never be. Proficiency packages in pills and pints are still far too futuristic for our reach even if such a feat is to be considered achievable by the human species. So while others might tell you to drink up; exactly what you want to hear, I’d be candid with you. Purge yourself of this delusion, spare yourself the time wastage, and get right on doing the thing the old way– practice!

About the Author: Stephen Charles Kenechukwu is a Linguist, a Freelance Content Writer, an Editor and a Media Enthusiast. He can be reached on StephenCharlesKenechukwu@gmail.com