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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Share Funny Christmas Story Here (9596 Views)
The True Heroes In The Christmas Story / A Christmas Story (rework) / Christians Who Reverted To Islam Share Your Story Here (2) (3) (4)
Share Funny Christmas Story Here by tobechi20(m): 1:15am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Let's gather here and share funny stories that happen on Christmas day. |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by tobechi20(m): 1:15am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Anyone who knew me would instantly conclude that
I am not the church type. I can spend a whole year
without stepping my foot within a church
premises.Going to church was like a waste of
time.i felt I was more s[piritual without beimg
religious. So when Janet invited me for her church
programme on Christmas day,it was easier for me
to say no. However janet was my crush so turning
down her request was difficult for me. She had
been keeping me guessing over my request for a
date. Perhaps, if i attend her church programme,
my chance would be favored. 1 Like |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by tobechi20(m): 1:16am On Dec 25, 2018 |
The d day came, I arrived at church premiuses by
6;40 am for a service that was supposed to begin
by 7;00am.Janet was there . I never knew she was
an usher .she was putting on a red suit over a red
high heel shoe`-usher uniform for christmas day.
She has a long hair ,blue eyes lined with thick
lashes. She couldnt hide her happiness in seeing
me as she smiled revealing her dimples before
spreading her arms wide to engolf me. i could
percieve the Passion Perfume she wore. She Pulled
herself out and pointed to the front row asking me
to go sit there. I nodded my head horizontally in
disagrement and proceeded instead to the last seat
instead,. I sat there replaying the hug in my mind. T
his was the first tim 3 Likes |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by tobechi20(m): 1:16am On Dec 25, 2018 |
At 7 ..am prompt, service started with singing, the
guy leading the praise sang offkey with
cacophonous and incoherent voice.. The
congtregation didn’t seem to care.they were
dancing. All dancing steps were on display
,mskelewu,awiklo,kukere name it . I was busy
admiring Janet my crush as she twisted ,wined and
twerked her waist.
Finally the songs came to a screeching halt to pave
way for sermon. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by tobechi20(m): 1:20am On Dec 25, 2018 |
The whole congregation rose as the man of God
walked majestically to the pulpit. He looked robust
with chocolate skin oval face and broad nose.he
looked more like a popstar than a pastor.His jerry
curly hairwas shining . His golden coloured suit
worn over same coloured hair made him unique
amongs all. He grabed the microphone and wished
everyone a happyxmas.He acknowledged the usher
for beautiful red attire in preparation for this day.he
spent 30mins preaching on the need to prepare for
an event. In the middle of he se mon, he stopped
.,went down on his knees and muttered some
words to himself for about five minutes.then with a
loud voice,he shouted 1 Like |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by tobechi20(m): 1:26am On Dec 25, 2018 |
”God is not haPpy;; how many of you have planned
for your death? God is not happy that you spend
months preparing for your wedding and xmas yet
you forgetr to plan for your funeral. Kneel down
abnd pray that God doesn’t unleash his anger on
you..” |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by tobechi20(m): 1:26am On Dec 25, 2018 |
everyone went down their knees miuttering words of
prayer. I watched dispassionately for a while. The
old man sitting beside me used tissue to clean the
tear juting from his eyes as he cried while praying. I
could see Janet praying vigorously ,clapping her
hand and kicking the wall. I could see her veins all
over her face as she prayed forcefully. The once
glowing beautiful face washed away.The love I had
for her faded instantly. Janet should know that it is
not a sin to fail to plan for ones burial. |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by tobechi20(m): 1:27am On Dec 25, 2018 |
The cries gradually faded until only silence was
left.the pastor lifted up his hands to the heaven and
said.
‘God has heard your supplication but true
repentance is off deed and not words. He has
giving you a chance to show how truly repentant
you are. A chance to plan for your death. A chance
to choose your own coffin. Do you want it white or
golden in colour. Do you want to be buried with the
crucifix of jesus Christ? |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by tobechi20(m): 1:28am On Dec 25, 2018 |
He gestured with his hands and ushers immediately
sprung into action.some men in suit stood up and
went outside the church premises. They arrived
almost immediately carrying various kinds of coffin
into the church premises.ushers went to each
member with a magazine displaying pictures of
various attractive coffins and their cost labeled
beneath. Each member chose the coffin of his taste
. those who had the money paid cash while orthers
paid some percentage to be redeemed later.
Arrangement could be made to deliver each cpoffin
to each members house. It wasn’t longbefore Janet
came to my row SIGNALLING the oldman beside
me TO CHOOSE the coffin of his taste from the
magazine.
I had had enough. I excused myself to pee walked
out of the church premises vowing never to step my
foot here again 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by tobechi20(m): 1:28am On Dec 25, 2018 |
He gestured with his hands and ushers immediately
sprung into action.some men in suit stood up and
went outside the church premises. They arrived
almost immediately carrying various kinds of coffin
into the church premises.ushers went to each
member with a magazine displaying pictures of
various attractive coffins and their cost labeled
beneath. Each member chose the coffin of his taste
. those who had the money paid cash while orthers
paid some percentage to be redeemed later.
Arrangement could be made to deliver each cpoffin
to each members house. It wasn’t longbefore Janet
came to my row SIGNALLING the oldman beside
me TO CHOOSE the coffin of his taste from the
magazine.
I had had enough. I excused myself to pee walked
out of the church premises vowing never to step my
foot here again 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by jakandeola(m): 8:28am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Christmas sex 1 Like |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by FYB(m): 8:28am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Somebody’s tailor yesterday sent him a message “Don’t worry, it will be ready by 10pm tonight. You can pick it up first thing tomorrow morning. I will be in shop before 6am” We'v been separating fight since morning 36 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by Postboiswag(m): 8:28am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Merry Christmas nairalanders I don't need like Show me love I get account number 1 Like |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by helinues: 8:29am On Dec 25, 2018 |
A man yesterday at the banking hall dipped his hand in his bag and shouted everybody on your knees..oh boy con see the way people lie down jejely not until the man said let us pray before we know he is a pastor He is celebrating his Xmas at hospital sha 44 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by Oweku: 8:29am On Dec 25, 2018 |
No experience... It have tayed since I wear the Christmas shoe.. Browse and earn.. Its free. Click my signature below |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by Nobody: 8:29am On Dec 25, 2018 |
I don't like Muslims 1 Like |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by Darksider131: 8:29am On Dec 25, 2018 |
[b][/b]she has blue eyes Liar spotted or a fairy story teller 4 Likes |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by adeniyi3971(m): 8:29am On Dec 25, 2018 |
One Christmas I cried when they were about to kill our turkey! We bonded for 2 months 36 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by madjam(m): 8:30am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Merry Xmas all Have been posting all this forum looking for who to bless me with money but all I got was insult from fellow colleagues here is not Good at all at least if you can't help it's better not to say anything ..........But I was blessed with 3500 from God sent nairalanders... Thank you very much ...God bless them amen. Am a student/computer expert....(20yrs) old......I pay my sch fees alone , live alone do everything alone .Pls am currently in need of money right now .......... Pls if you can't help me don't insult......... kindly ignore 0243850902 Salami D David Gtb |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by MANNABBQGRILLS: 8:30am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Two of our Live Chickens out of the 60 we want to use for Chicken Barbecue for Xmas today begged us to wait till FeBuhari 16th 2019, next year, so we can use them to celebrate President MUHAMMADU BUHARI victory at the presidential election on that day..........we have no choice but to say OKAY, permission granted! (they are actually a cute couple!) 5 Likes 1 Share
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Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by slawomir: 8:30am On Dec 25, 2018 |
mistercardinal: My guy just relax Everything will be fine My sister was admitted in irrua hospital after ekpoma in Edo state since on the 9th of this December Even up till now my mum is with her there Have been traveling almost everyday to the place from Benin city just to make sure that those doctors and nurses pay attention to her because in a government hospital if you don't disturb the doctors then that patient life is in danger. Their non commitment and lackadaisical attitude in government hospital can lead to death of patients. Am even going there today. So my guy relax everything is okay It was even now that i realize that a lot of shiiit goes on daily on our high way. Those drivers running express way are really trying. Even witness a situation on Friday were a full family was crushed at irrua. Their car was crushed by a big truck. Before then one also happened at ehor were twenty six hausa were killed when their vehicle tumbled Those big trucks are beast. They are faster than cars especially when they are descending from slope. 17 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by mistercardinal(m): 8:32am On Dec 25, 2018 |
I won't want to call it the worst Christmas ever though it apparently seems to be. My dad was admitted in the hospital since the 8th of November, and till this very moment the whole family is still at the hospital. If it pleases God and Christ then it pleases my family and i. Please remember us in your prayers. Merry Christmas to you all 19 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by kygo(m): 8:32am On Dec 25, 2018 |
. |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by themonk(m): 8:32am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by may320: 8:33am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Hilarious. Continue now. @Op you no try, you for choose your own coffin too. 1 Like |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by Kelly2713(m): 8:33am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by handsomeyinka(m): 8:34am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Na so I wan buy my Christmas chicken yesterday when the chicken seller told me to swipe my card, I just saw the chicken smiling. 1 Like |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by IamProdigy: 8:34am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by Benjaniblinks(m): 8:34am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Which Lie I Go Blow Nw 2 Likes |
Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by logon599: 8:34am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Actually can't remember any special incident that has happened to me on Christmas day. Just the usual routine every year. Though I've had countless beautiful imaginations of how I want Christmas to go, sadly haven't done anyone yet. Then again most of my imaginations have involved snow falling outside and a good Christmas song playing softly in the background while loved ones gather around a table beside a fireplace and share joy and laughter. Where's the face palm button?? Cheap Architectural designs? See my signature below or checkout my profile. Thanks 1 Like
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Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by hahn(m): 8:35am On Dec 25, 2018 |
adeniyi3971: 4 Likes
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Re: Share Funny Christmas Story Here by lonelydora: 8:37am On Dec 25, 2018 |
Growing up, my dad made it as rule that nobody steps out of the house on 25th December. Once we are back from the church, after eating, omo, na sleeping things. I grew up with that mentality. As we speak, i have filled my generator tank with petrol, incase PhEDC decides to misbehave. Christmas rice is on fire now. Merry Christmas to you all. 12 Likes
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