Thanks Ral for the opportunity to speak from my heart . Please keep me private.
I have messed up big time. The kind of mess up that changes life for ever. I kept a lie away from the love of my life for a year plus. She found out and was heart broken..

I was just scared of facing her with the truth. I was scared she will never love me again. And trying to maintain my lie I kept telling lies. Before 2018 ends I told myself I want to be truthful. Be honest and for that reason I don't want her to be finding about my lies. Let me come out direct and tell her the truth. If she loves me she stays. And if it's not deep enough then lets move on. In the mixed of all these I decided to tell her everything yesterday. It was crazy.

I love this lady. I have thought about giving up my life few times this week, I have thought about so many horrible things I can do to myself if she is not in my life anymore. She is the reason I hustle, I wake up, I eat. She is my happiness and all I ever dreamt for. I started loving her too late. I am crazy in love with her bom to the point I can do anything within my power for her. The problem is i have be loving her wrongly thinking i am loving her right.I have broken her heart few times. Her heart bleeds. She is in so much pain. She is not in control anymore. But something amazing about this lady is that no matter what happens never give up on her. And I never gave up. I always want to fight for her. I never take no for an answer. I always want to speak to her. Have her beside me. She is my small god. I don't joke with her. She is making so much effort. In the mixed of all I did. I am proud of myself that I am finally learning. I am becoming the man she wants me to become. A man free of lies. I am doing my best because I want her to trust me again.

She did something amazing yesterday. She took me out with her last money on her. since yesterday she make sure I never lack nothing..
I call her BAE Because she is always before anyone else. My special one.
I want to use this opportunity to leave a message for her. "Bae! I know I have wronged you so much. I know what I have done is beyond you. I am so sorry

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