oluphunmy:





What is this one saying na

HarunaWest:
you that was so frustrated you were searching for a single matured guy as at this time last year...STFU b1tch.......Man shouldn't flex again because his married... nonsense.

UyaiIncomparabl:


See your face like Amala.

uckennety:






You can't fix a broken mirror thats why you can't trust him!

But be matured! Let your home and children be your number 1 priority!

If you cheat on him and your caught you will be sent out! No matter the excuse you give!


If your rudeness starts to get out of hand! It may affect your relationship with your husband which will one day drive you out of the house voluntary or involuntary!

Besides what character will you be teaching your children! Your daughters will be rude to their husbands and expect their husband tolerates it like their father!

The actions we take have ripple effects in our lives!

P.s to be sincere with you

My father cheats on my mum
She knows ,we even complain to her and report some events to her but she doesn't care cuz she loves her children!

What will she gain if the girl outside comes inside in take full control!


Secure your position 1st!

Look for a job or start a business

So you will not dependent on him


The bible says a good wife builds the home

It didn't say a good wife maketh sure the husband doesnt cheat


just ignore

See your marriage as a full time responsibility you have accepted to take!


I know you will say what about LOVE

Love is like a fairy tale told to young kids!

There is only one time in our life we may experience love and that's when we are old! About 70years still married! Children now parents n you see your grandma children

Then you both hold hands smile n laff about your mistakes,your failures and your successes together!


Marriage is not easy!

ifyalways:
This happens when you go into marriage believing your spouse is a super human. Trust if you want, but leave a space in your heart for failure since we are all still mortals .

You will heal, give it time.

Stop thinking about it. Be selfish a little if you can afford it. Indulge yourself, convert all that negative energy into positives and put your aggression into getting a job.Give yourself and kids a treat.

You will heal , cope , grow a thick skin, then learn how to handle and " corner" that husband of yours. Our mother's did. Some of us are doing it now . Be strong.

zeb04:
your mother didn’t walk away from her marriage. that is why you are twisted and you think even if you cheat on your wife she shouldn’t walk out . after all your own mother has been cheated on Several times and even probably treated multiple Std’s But she can’t walk away anyways because she is trying to save her marriage ( marriage that is already failed). I actually don’t feel for you. But i feel for the next generations of low self esteem women your mother is raising. She stopped at sharing her husband with several mistresses outside, Who knows, since your sisters probably don’t see anything wrong with that, maybe, we are looking at the next side chicks after all my mother shared my dad with several women and heaven did not fall so what’s new about it “ ripple effect. With that said my mantra is if you give me disrespect, you get disrespect, if you are not loyal, don’t expect loyalty. Women are not rehabilitation center for badly raised boys

ifyalways:
This happens when you go into marriage believing your spouse is a super human. Trust if you want, but leave a space in your heart for failure since we are all still mortals .

You will heal, give it time.

Stop thinking about it. Be selfish a little if you can afford it. Indulge yourself, convert all that negative energy into positives and put your aggression into getting a job.Give yourself and kids a treat.

You will heal , cope , grow a thick skin, then learn how to handle and " corner" that husband of yours. Our mother's did. Some of us are doing it now . Be strong.

uckennety:



Am twisted

Thanks your straight!

Look marriage is not by force

But look every actions have consequences

If you can raise your kids alone n secure good future for them then divorce
from your reply am sure your a kid and have not seen anything

P.s- divorce a man cuz of cheating is like avoiding a town cuz of rain!

NNE it rains everywhere and anytime

Pray your not caught unaware


You can continue with your insults

This is my 2cents

zeb04:
your mother didn’t walk away from her marriage. that is why you are twisted and you think even if you cheat on your wife she shouldn’t walk out . after all your own mother has been cheated on Several times and even probably treated multiple Std’s But she can’t walk away anyways because she is trying to save her marriage ( marriage that is already failed). I actually don’t feel for you. But i feel for the next generations of low self esteem women your mother is raising. She stopped at sharing her husband with several mistresses outside, Who knows, since your sisters probably don’t see anything wrong with that, maybe, we are looking at the next side chicks after all my mother shared my dad with several women and heaven did not fall so what’s new about it “ ripple effect. With that said my mantra is if you give me disrespect, you get disrespect, if you are not loyal, don’t expect loyalty. Women are not rehabilitation center for badly raised boys

uckennety:






You can't fix a broken mirror thats why you can't trust him!

But be matured! Let your home and children be your number 1 priority!

If you cheat on him and your caught you will be sent out! No matter the excuse you give!


If your rudeness starts to get out of hand! It may affect your relationship with your husband which will one day drive you out of the house voluntary or involuntary!

Besides what character will you be teaching your children! Your daughters will be rude to their husbands and expect their husband tolerates it like their father!

The actions we take have ripple effects in our lives!

P.s to be sincere with you

My father cheats on my mum
She knows ,we even complain to her and report some events to her but she doesn't care cuz she loves her children!

What will she gain if the girl outside comes inside in take full control!


Secure your position 1st!

Look for a job or start a business

So you will not dependent on him


The bible says a good wife builds the home

It didn't say a good wife maketh sure the husband doesnt cheat


just ignore

See your marriage as a full time responsibility you have accepted to take!


I know you will say what about LOVE

Love is like a fairy tale told to young kids!

There is only one time in our life we may experience love and that's when we are old! About 70years still married! Children now parents n you see your grandma children

Then you both hold hands smile n laff about your mistakes,your failures and your successes together!

Your post broke my heart because some of u men think we should sit and swallow all sorts of bullshit from y'all. Newsflash, we r slowly walking up and time is coming when every man will regret their action.

Marriage is not easy!

bestshimmer:
After he had an emotional affair with his female married colleague.
I don't want to say I hate him now. But the feelings are not the same anymore.
He apologized and stopped but they were still communicating.
I asked him to stop receiving her calls but he said he couldn't. She would still sometimes profess love to him again. But he would say No.
Until I threatened my husband to send her husband, colleagues, in-laws etc screenshots of her messages.
They've stopped communicating.

But now I can't seem to forget the chats and SMS I saw.
Once in awhile I feel angry and become rude to him.
It's eating me up.

I forgave him when he 1st apologized but when I started seeing them continuing having friendly chats. It pained me. Cos that was how they started.

I complained and he started deleting their chats. Even called me a nag.

Now everything has ended I still feel heartbroken.
I trusted him so so so so so much.
If we were dating I would have just left. But we have 3kids. And am job hunting.

I say in my heart that I forgive him but why do I still feel hurt. Why do I not trust him anymore. I use other issues to cover up and be rude to him. But I know it's not those issues.
Help me. It's killing me

uckennety:






You can't fix a broken mirror thats why you can't trust him!

But be matured! Let your home and children be your number 1 priority!

If you cheat on him and your caught you will be sent out! No matter the excuse you give!


If your rudeness starts to get out of hand! It may affect your relationship with your husband which will one day drive you out of the house voluntary or involuntary!

Besides what character will you be teaching your children! Your daughters will be rude to their husbands and expect their husband tolerates it like their father!

The actions we take have ripple effects in our lives!

P.s to be sincere with you

My father cheats on my mum
She knows ,we even complain to her and report some events to her but she doesn't care cuz she loves her children!

What will she gain if the girl outside comes inside in take full control!


Secure your position 1st!

Look for a job or start a business

So you will not dependent on him


The bible says a good wife builds the home

It didn't say a good wife maketh sure the husband doesnt cheat


just ignore

See your marriage as a full time responsibility you have accepted to take!


I know you will say what about LOVE

Love is like a fairy tale told to young kids!

There is only one time in our life we may experience love and that's when we are old! About 70years still married! Children now parents n you see your grandma children

Then you both hold hands smile n laff about your mistakes,your failures and your successes together!


Marriage is not easy!

HarunaWest:
you that was so frustrated you were searching for a single matured guy as at this time last year...STFU b1tch.......Man shouldn't flex again because his married... nonsense.

elmagnifico411:
Nicely written piece. Plenty sense and sensibility. The part that caught me most is u travelling all the way down to the northern part of naija(not by air) to shag a lady. This thing called sex is really really powerful. Little wonder the good books advises on to get married before getting involved.

Make I also add; if u find any man thats not cheating, or has never cheated, no be him power oh. Na the grace of God.

uckennety:



Am twisted

Thanks your straight!

Look marriage is not by force

But look every actions have consequences

If you can raise your kids alone n secure good future for them then divorce
from your reply am sure your a kid and have not seen anything

P.s- divorce a man cuz of cheating is like avoiding a town cuz of rain!

NNE it rains everywhere and anytime

Pray your not caught unaware


You can continue with your insults

This is my 2cents

bukatyne:


If he wants to flex, shouldn't he have stayed single?

That way, no one is pressuring him to commit.

uckennety:



Am twisted

Thanks your straight!

Look marriage is not by force

But look every actions have consequences

If you can raise your kids alone n secure good future for them then divorce
from your reply am sure your a kid and have not seen anything

P.s- divorce a man cuz of cheating is like avoiding a town cuz of rain!

NNE it rains everywhere and anytime

Pray your not caught unaware


You can continue with your insults

This is my 2cents

pls stop justifying cheating, that is why Africa is so backwards, because the men do not see the women, as humans, how can you in this modern times be talking like this.

Kenfil:


I am not gonna tell u to leave or stay however plz find any kind of job to support urself. Do not allow any man to disrespect you by not keeping the vows he made before God. love urself by any way possible and ur children. Do what u feel is best and dont forget to love, enjoy, treat urself to nice things. P.S cheating is a deal breaker for me and I will not remain in such marriage.

jasper83:



The way this generation handles the subject of marriage calls for great concern. I seldomly comment on nairaland but i had to pour my mind on this issue. I dont know how old you are but i would advise you to calm down for the sake of your overall happiness in old age. You are not smarter, more intelligent than women of old who applied wisdom in their home affairs of which you and I were products of such. Why do we love to chicken out of our problems rather than facing it squarely and win. So after toiling hard with your husband for years, the moment he cheats on you the best thing to do is to walk away? I'm not holding brief for my gender but I believe with this mentality of " he cheats, i cheat back or he cheats i'l walk away " makes the marital future of this generation so bleak.

There is an adage in Yoruba that says" this issue is your issue and you say I'm going to the farm I have no time for nonsense" my people say come back from that your farm in 100 years that your issue you avoided then, is waiting for you in the cooler. So why not address it and win. Don't allow anyone fool you to believe if you walk away there is one innocent gentle man who will not look over your shoulder, it's a rare gift to be contented with a single lady truth be told. As a middle age myself i have brought up this issue within my male folks and it will shock you the reason why some don't cheat.

1. A man that is broke need not cheat because he's setting himself up for embarrassment because it take few cash to indulge in adultery. Sometimes it even expensive depending on your status, she ain't your wife so sex is not FREE.

2. When the size of manhood is funny and its not working optimally .So why show your John Thomas to the world and become a laffing stock because if your carry 5 ladies they will all see your unclothedness , so it's safe to stick with one's wife because she can't be so daft to make my case a subject of ridicule among her friend.

3. Natural low libido.

4. Grace of God.

Two days or so the social media was agoged even up till now the divorce saga of Jeff Bezos the world wealthiest. As polished, exposed and socially upright in the eyes of the world he still engages in illicit affairs. Sister leave it or take it the two genders ain't wired the same way. The earlier you get this the better for you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not justifying cheating but this issue has refused to go way for ages so what's the matter, why kill yourself over it.

Today's women always threatening to walk away, no problem but today's guys too will be wiser by not marrying your gender legally in the long run, so many children will be raised singlehandedly by women while the males continue with there wayward lifestyles. So eventually that depression you ran way from will be staring you in the eyes while raising your kids yourself. You can't fight him since he's performing his fatherly role. As he grows old being a single cassanova he retires fully or partially womanising and woman who knows how to manage him sticks around obviously for companionship. You that left many years back, will be struggling with nature not disappoint yourself or your kids by not flirting around, why go through all that torture. Even when you decide to settle down what number are you going to be in that marriage. Please think, when the natural pressure is much you may discover you are sharing someone's husband with the rightful owner, and remember you were once a rightful owner.

My dear ladies please be calm and try to apply wisdom, it's key. There is a trend in town now of your fiance female bestie being the best man, I have two examples now of the husband sleeping with the besties after marriage. Anything that can expose your man to danger should be fought, guard your homes, don't claim to be socially correct so that society won't tag you an insecure woman. Make that marriage work, it's your home don't go for an invader, the battle must be won.

@Op please pray for husband and call up that shameless woman if need be, threaten her to reveal to her husband and colleagues the amorous affairs she is having with your man, and be ready to do it. She will fear you and adjust. God bless and protect your home.

Gracias.

jasper83:



The way this generation handles the subject of marriage calls for great concern. I seldomly comment on nairaland but i had to pour my mind on this issue. I dont know how old you are but i would advise you to calm down for the sake of your overall happiness in old age. You are not smarter, more intelligent than women of old who applied wisdom in their home affairs of which you and I were products of such. Why do we love to chicken out of our problems rather than facing it squarely and win. So after toiling hard with your husband for years, the moment he cheats on you the best thing to do is to walk away? I'm not holding brief for my gender but I believe with this mentality of " he cheats, i cheat back or he cheats i'l walk away " makes the marital future of this generation so bleak.

There is an adage in Yoruba that says" this issue is your issue and you say I'm going to the farm I have no time for nonsense" my people say come back from that your farm in 100 years that your issue you avoided then, is waiting for you in the cooler. So why not address it and win. Don't allow anyone fool you to believe if you walk away there is one innocent gentle man who will not look over your shoulder, it's a rare gift to be contented with a single lady truth be told. As a middle age myself i have brought up this issue within my male folks and it will shock you the reason why some don't cheat.

1. A man that is broke need not cheat because he's setting himself up for embarrassment because it take few cash to indulge in adultery. Sometimes it even expensive depending on your status, she ain't your wife so sex is not FREE.

2. When the size of manhood is funny and its not working optimally .So why show your John Thomas to the world and become a laffing stock because if your carry 5 ladies they will all see your unclothedness , so it's safe to stick with one's wife because she can't be so daft to make my case a subject of ridicule among her friend.

3. Natural low libido.

4. Grace of God.

Two days or so the social media was agoged even up till now the divorce saga of Jeff Bezos the world wealthiest. As polished, exposed and socially upright in the eyes of the world he still engages in illicit affairs. Sister leave it or take it the two genders ain't wired the same way. The earlier you get this the better for you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not justifying cheating but this issue has refused to go way for ages so what's the matter, why kill yourself over it.

Today's women always threatening to walk away, no problem but today's guys too will be wiser by not marrying your gender legally in the long run, so many children will be raised singlehandedly by women while the males continue with there wayward lifestyles. So eventually that depression you ran way from will be staring you in the eyes while raising your kids yourself. You can't fight him since he's performing his fatherly role. As he grows old being a single cassanova he retires fully or partially womanising and woman who knows how to manage him sticks around obviously for companionship. You that left many years back, will be struggling with nature not disappoint yourself or your kids by not flirting around, why go through all that torture. Even when you decide to settle down what number are you going to be in that marriage. Please think, when the natural pressure is much you may discover you are sharing someone's husband with the rightful owner, and remember you were once a rightful owner.

My dear ladies please be calm and try to apply wisdom, it's key. There is a trend in town now of your fiance female bestie being the best man, I have two examples now of the husband sleeping with the besties after marriage. Anything that can expose your man to danger should be fought, guard your homes, don't claim to be socially correct so that society won't tag you an insecure woman. Make that marriage work, it's your home don't go for an invader, the battle must be won.

@Op please pray for husband and call up that shameless woman if need be, threaten her to reveal to her husband and colleagues the amorous affairs she is having with your man, and be ready to do it. She will fear you and adjust. God bless and protect your home.

Gracias.

bestshimmer:


You are also right about the "super human" thing.
He was this disciplined person.
I could vouch for him.
But do you know that at a point he said he did nothing since they didn't have sex.
That statement tore my heart into pieces

emeraldknytt:

In the mean time, do your duties as a wife, prepare his favorite meals, prepare the bath for his shower when he comes home, offer him massages and help him trim his nails while having a gist with him about absolutely anything and please, don't tie wrapper around the house. Rekindling your love starts from the petty little things until it becomes a routine for him and he can't do without that routine. God will help you stabilize your Home. [/color]

bestshimmer:


I really want to forget but why did he have to stop communicating only after I threatened to expose her.
I had pleaded earlier but I got a No. I just don't feel loved anymore.

CanadianNaija:


Are you kidding me?

I say in my heart that I forgive him but why do I still feel hurt. Why do I not trust him anymore. I use other issues to cover up and be rude to him. But I know it's not those issues.
Help me. It's killing me

JoannaSedley:
You never jam Nigerian princes and their skewed advise.

Here, this warped excuse of a human specie is telling the wrongee to pet and powder the wronger when the wronger was even coarsed to accept his mistakes.

I have seen things. I have......

JoannaSedley:

The women of the past generation taught the women of this generation not to allow their mistakes in their lives/marriages. Most of them swore that their daughters will not suffer what they suffered in the name of marriage, that's why we got the education and financial independence they never had.

jasper83:



The way this generation handles the subject of marriage calls for great concern. I seldomly comment on nairaland but i had to pour my mind on this issue. I dont know how old you are but i would advise you to calm down for the sake of your overall happiness in old age. You are not smarter, more intelligent than women of old who applied wisdom in their home affairs of which you and I were products of such. Why do we love to chicken out of our problems rather than facing it squarely and win. So after toiling hard with your husband for years, the moment he cheats on you the best thing to do is to walk away? I'm not holding brief for my gender but I believe with this mentality of " he cheats, i cheat back or he cheats i'l walk away " makes the marital future of this generation so bleak.

There is an adage in Yoruba that says" this issue is your issue and you say I'm going to the farm I have no time for nonsense" my people say come back from that your farm in 100 years that your issue you avoided then, is waiting for you in the cooler. So why not address it and win. Don't allow anyone fool you to believe if you walk away there is one innocent gentle man who will not look over your shoulder, it's a rare gift to be contented with a single lady truth be told. As a middle age myself i have brought up this issue within my male folks and it will shock you the reason why some don't cheat.

1. A man that is broke need not cheat because he's setting himself up for embarrassment because it take few cash to indulge in adultery. Sometimes it even expensive depending on your status, she ain't your wife so sex is not FREE.

2. When the size of manhood is funny and its not working optimally .So why show your John Thomas to the world and become a laffing stock because if your carry 5 ladies they will all see your unclothedness , so it's safe to stick with one's wife because she can't be so daft to make my case a subject of ridicule among her friend.

3. Natural low libido.

4. Grace of God.

Two days or so the social media was agoged even up till now the divorce saga of Jeff Bezos the world wealthiest. As polished, exposed and socially upright in the eyes of the world he still engages in illicit affairs. Sister leave it or take it the two genders ain't wired the same way. The earlier you get this the better for you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not justifying cheating but this issue has refused to go way for ages so what's the matter, why kill yourself over it.

Today's women always threatening to walk away, no problem but today's guys too will be wiser by not marrying your gender legally in the long run, so many children will be raised singlehandedly by women while the males continue with there wayward lifestyles. So eventually that depression you ran way from will be staring you in the eyes while raising your kids yourself. You can't fight him since he's performing his fatherly role. As he grows old being a single cassanova he retires fully or partially womanising and woman who knows how to manage him sticks around obviously for companionship. You that left many years back, will be struggling with nature not disappoint yourself or your kids by not flirting around, why go through all that torture. Even when you decide to settle down what number are you going to be in that marriage. Please think, when the natural pressure is much you may discover you are sharing someone's husband with the rightful owner, and remember you were once a rightful owner.

My dear ladies please be calm and try to apply wisdom, it's key. There is a trend in town now of your fiance female bestie being the best man, I have two examples now of the husband sleeping with the besties after marriage. Anything that can expose your man to danger should be fought, guard your homes, don't claim to be socially correct so that society won't tag you an insecure woman. Make that marriage work, it's your home don't go for an invader, the battle must be won.

@Op please pray for husband and call up that shameless woman if need be, threaten her to reveal to her husband and colleagues the amorous affairs she is having with your man, and be ready to do it. She will fear you and adjust. God bless and protect your home.

Gracias.