Salute bro, I got it under control now

aro1:
my boss is here... !!!

My name is Alex, I was marry 5 years ago and I have a beautiful son of 3 years Old. I caught my wife cheating some few months to our wedding but I forgave and forget then moved on to the marriage. After my baby was 1 year old, my wife started again in her adulterous ways. I wanted to stop but she said she can’t stop because she is not getting what she wanted in her life from our marriage. Now I wanted to leave her but she is not ready to go. I tried divorcing her but she didn’t sign the documents. She threatened to go away with our son if I leave her. I need your advice

Truthshurts:
My name is Alex, I was marry 5 years ago and I have a beautiful son of 3 years Old. I caught my wife cheating some few months to our wedding but I forgave and forget then moved on to the marriage. After my baby was 1 year old, my wife started again in her adulterous ways. I wanted to stop but she said she can’t stop because she is not getting what she wanted in her life from our marriage. Now I wanted to leave her but she is not ready to go. I tried divorcing her but she didn’t sign the documents. She threatened to go away with our son if I leave her. I need your advice

It's a far greater compliment to be respected than to be loved.
I sent u a pm, kindly respond or WhatsApp me via 07053331484.

I just did. Thanks

AceRoyal:

It's a far greater compliment to be respected than to be loved.
I sent u a pm, kindly respond or WhatsApp me via 07053331484.

when the source of getting the alcohol gets dry u will quit

CaptainMitch:
I think I am an alcoholic, I drink too much, I am looking for a way to quit totally, I have been drinking steadily for close to 13 years, I wish I could quit.

na wa o

use chewing stick

Ijobagram:
Help a brother I'm have this chronic mouth odour I'm battling with since two years now I have try all means still don't solve it sometimes I brush my teeth five times a day still it worst I have never been to a dentist because I don't have money ..i don't talk in public or keep friends because I hate reactions I received when I talk sometimes I thought of commit suicide.it has ruined my life I'm depressed I don't know what to do..help me before I kill myself

Ok

SteveOfu:
when the source of getting the alcohol gets dry u will quit

It's okay.

Picking women from the club.

My previous relationship with my finance ended on a sad note, and starting a new relationship hasn’t been easy.

I keep picking girls at random clubs and I hate myself after the whole show. I feel depressed, deserted and shameful every time I do this.

I don’t womanised, smoke or drink. I just want to stop this habit and find myself a good lady to settle down.

Mood11:
Well,

I have a problem with the things I say and how I react when I am angry. Though I am conciously working on it now because it became an issue in my relationship sometime ago.
My man is everything I pray for to have in a man but there's a whole lot resting heavy weights on our relationship right now. Sometimes business becomes slow, sometimes he's depressed and sometimes I am too edgy and just talk anyhow..

I really love him and don't want to lose him. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make us stronger and overcome the future together.
Sometimes I want to lift all our worries and make things perfect but I don't have the power to

Learn to "respond" instead of "reacting" to issues,people,situation and challenges.
There is a huge difference between reacting and responding. A reaction is typically quick, without much thought, tense and aggressive. A response is thought out, calm and non-threatening. A reaction typically provokes more reactions – perpetuating a long line of hatefulness with nothing accomplished.

BornToSucced:
Picking women from the club.

My previous relationship with my finance ended on a sad note, and starting a new relationship hasn’t been easy.

I keep picking girls at random clubs and I hate myself after the whole show. I feel depressed, deserted and shameful every time I do this.

I don’t womanised, smoke or drink. I just want to stop this habit and find myself a good lady to settle down.

Start working to be the kind of man you want your woman to be.
picking women from the club shows so many salient issues you have to deal with first.
lonliness, low self esteem, the crave for adventure, etc.
you might also be yarning for a bad girl that'll truly get to love you, the only thing holding you back might be your religious and social background.
admit to yourself what you truly want, thats the first step in finding your solution.

AceRoyal:


Learn to "respond" instead of "reacting" to issues,people,situation and challenges.
There is a huge difference between reacting and responding. A reaction is typically quick, without much thought, tense and aggressive. A response is thought out, calm and non-threatening. A reaction typically provokes more reactions – perpetuating a long line of hatefulness with nothing accomplished.

Thanks.
I am conciously working on it right now..

I am getting better.
I just want things to turn out well for us.

Mood11:

Thanks.
I am conciously working on it right now..

I am getting better.
I just want things to turn out well for us.

slow, stable and steady..........

yemisolar:

If you were my sister, I would tell you to stay with someone who is stable and has future plans for you.

For starters, relationships can create a blind spot with one such that there are some things (good or bad) that it takes outsiders to see. Especially if more than one person is saying the same thing.

For me feeling/ chemistry is a dime a dozen that is, it comes and goes but love is a decision. Also, as you grow older, things that excite you about life changes and so is your needs in a man. In the next 15 years, you won't just be looking at someone that is handsome and makes you laugh, you will need a good father to your children and someone your family and friends will respect.

As for his 'traditional' side, this is a function of where he is coming from and how he was raised. But all of that can be adjusted with right the attitude and presentation. Generally, when a man knows his wife respect him, he is more favourably disposed to listening to her. Actually, women who understand that wield a lot of subtle power than even they know.

As for the new guy, the question is, would you feel the same way about him as you feel now in 10 years time? The answer will tell you which choice to make.

This is not about you staying single till your fourties or the difficulty of marrying from another tribe, it is about making a choice you won't regret.

My 2 cents

I found your response so helpful especially this part
Also, as you grow older, things that excite you about life changes and so is your needs in a man. In the next 15 years, you won't just be looking at someone that is handsome and makes you laugh, you will need a good father to your children and someone your family and friends will respect.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm struggling with deciding if this man that loves me, is responsible and 'not there' yet but making progress,is the right person for me...

Depression comes in different ways and forms but the solution to it is to find God.
It's only God that can give satisfaction,from him you were created and He knows the plans he has for you.
In most cases,we compare ourselves with friends,neighbours,colleagues which weigh us down forgetting that God's plan for individual life is different.
To overcome depression,ask Jesus to come into your heart,take time to study the Bible as there u get encouragement to move on in life irrespective of the challenges you face.
Talk to him every morning,committing your life to His hand and asking for direction on what to do.
Find people of like mind that have hope in what God can do and fellowship/relate together and lastly learn to be grateful to God for your situation while you look up to Him for a way out.[color=#990000][/color]

janefrancisca:
Pressure from family and friends to get married as if husbands are sold in shops.
Graduated years back and still no good job. The little one I am managing is not footing my bills and I don tire for daddy give me.
I am sha just managing myself, God know say I don tire

When I was wooing in during NYSC, you no gree. You dey jump upandan like a cowboy. now, wey you don turn evening newspaper.....lemme think about it.

Ijobagram:
Help a brother I'm have this chronic mouth odour I'm battling with since two years now I have try all means still don't solve it sometimes I brush my teeth five times a day still it worst I have never been to a dentist because I don't have money ..i don't talk in public or keep friends because I hate reactions I received when I talk sometimes I thought of commit suicide.it has ruined my life I'm depressed I don't know what to do..help me before I kill myself

Keep eating garlic, and bitter kola

h

duchessvikki0:
One of the issues that depress me is my inability to have a relationship with God. I keep having doubts and when I pray I easily get distracted and think about something else. I'm the kind of person who thinks a lot. I'm an introvert and my mind is my company most times. I left this ability to create relationship and maintain them especially towards God and it depresses me
Also I would like to develop my writing ability. I'm good at imaginations but I'm unable to create stories that I can really pen down. I enjoy other people's literary production and would like to also produce mine but I'm not there yet.

Join a fellowship. It will help you concentrate, focus and grow

The source of my depression is discussed here:

https://www.nairaland.com/6347135/situation-how-does-one-gain

I know I would laugh last

Glink2018:

Keep eating garlic, and bitter kola

And onions

Ishilove:
Lovely thread.

God has blessed me with a heart like rubber band. Even in the face of difficulties i always find strength to stay positive. I remember, ten years ago, when my mum lay in my hands gasping for breath and battling with death, I felt a certain kind of detachment and calm because I had this unshakable faith that my mum would live. I called my sister, and on hearing the sound of my mother gasping in the background, she immediately burst into tears. That is only when tears came to my eyes too. I cried because my sister cried.

That's me. I become depressed when my loved ones are sad. I am depressed when I can't make the ones I care about happy. I am depressed when I feel like I can do more for others but am unable to because of circumstances. 80% of what I aim for in life is geared to making my family happy because I live for them. Without them I am a leaf blown by the wind. Without them I will lay down, close my eyes and not open them until I fade away to nothingness. My deepest fear in life is losing any of them, and that is what depresses me the most. The thought alone fills me with a horror so intense that I want to pull my hair and scream.

However, as T. S Elliot wrote, 'life you may evade, death you shall not.' I recognise the ultimate denouement of every man, but I also recognise that we cannot live immersed in thoughts of our failures or fear of things going wrong, or in depression that nothing is going according to your best laid plans. Biblical Job remarked in despair "that which I feared the most has come upon me!", so kukuma live life to the fullest. Take your failures, disappointment, heartaches, inadequacies to the jungle gym of life and use them as weights to build up your muscles.

We were created to learn and each experience should be a lesson, whether good or bad. It's hard, but chin up! Las las we go dey alright.

Thanks for this, for 5months now all I think about is how everything can stop existing, I come here most times to find solace and what will give me hope... I don't see need to exist but too scared to die. Does that make me selfish. I don't even care about anything anymore. Everything just falling apart . Thanks for this ishi

Are you married, Happy, smart, intelligent, looking for other married people to talk and share ideas with on a WhatsApp group? This group gives you the freedom to unwind from every stress that comes with Marriage.

Please if you are not married, don't bother getting in touch with us because you won't be added to the group. Kindly chat us on WhatsApp on 08129087783.

SirDelight:

I know I would laugh last[/b]

By HIS grace, bro.

Cc: J111333

https://www.nairaland.com/6347135/situation-how-does-one-gain

weyreypey:


DEPRESSION IV. GET A MENTOR.... I CAN MENTOR YOU

Eje

Ijobagram:
Help a brother I'm have this chronic mouth odour I'm battling with since two years now I have try all means still don't solve it sometimes I brush my teeth five times a day still it worst I have never been to a dentist because I don't have money ..i don't talk in public or keep friends because I hate reactions I received when I talk sometimes I thought of commit suicide.it has ruined my life I'm depressed I don't know what to do..help me before I kill myself

.

Where do you keep your brush If wall gecko spits or touch your brush, you will keep having mouth odour

AceRoyal:
Hello Everyone,
This thread is for us to share our biggest problems, challenges and frustrations.
It's a faceless forum but I'm sure people can reach out and be of help.

Please it's not an avenue for begging, it's just an avenue to open up and air out your mind.
If someone that's capable of providing a solution is touched by your problem(s), they're free to render help/assistance.


Opening this thread to help fight against depression.

Thanks for this,op.

Alot on my mind for years now weighing me down day by day.

I been totally lost for some long years now and not yet found. You've heard about jack of all trades master of none.

Life has not been easy for me from the beginning,put my all in my studies as if it will liberate me to no avail. Tried my hand on sewing too as I felt drawn to it somehow but it doesn't pay me,more of free works.

Another time I was sewing,making all types of bags,even as souvenirs and money was coming from it but school made me stopped. Getting back at it thereafter has not been working. Got married in between and children came in too,sign up for teaching beause I detest idleness yet it's not adding up but the last total lockdown put a stop to it anyways.

Ever since it's been a sorry case,with every effort to get back on the financial track proving difficult. Not only that,my reading and writing culture that I cherish is lost. Husby is trying and I thank God for his life,if only he can get the kind of contract he needs,if only I can figure how to mend the broken pieces of my life and come alive again.

It's overwhelming for me and my family,we are practically hanging on. I'm depressed and it's affecting me already. Where do we start from, and what can l do?

Cutemind:

Thanks for this,op.

Alot on my mind for years now weighing me down day by day.

I been totally lost for some long years now and not yet found. You've heard about jack of all trades master of none.

Life has not been easy for me from the beginning,put my all in my studies as if it will liberate me to no avail. Tried my hand on sewing too as I felt drawn to it somehow but it doesn't pay me,more of free works.

Another time I was sewing,making all types of bags,even as souvenirs and money was coming from it but school made me stopped. Getting back at it thereafter has not been working. Got married in between and children came in too,sign up for teaching beause I detest idleness yet it's not adding up but the last total lockdown put a stop to it anyways.

Ever since it's been a sorry case,with every effort to get back on the financial track proving difficult. Not only that,my reading and writing culture that I cherish is lost. Husby is trying and I thank God for his life,if only he can get the kind of contract he needs,if only I can figure how to mend the broken pieces of my life and come alive again.

It's overwhelming for me and my family,we are practically hanging on. I'm depressed and it's affecting me already. Where do we start from, and what can l do?

Don't focus so much on finance for now, you need to find yourself first and that'll take studying.
Studying yourself and your mind.
You'll be surprised that what you've been searching for has been with you all these while but you've not known yourself enough yet to make it work for you and bring you that which you desire.

AceRoyal:
Hello Everyone,
This thread is for us to share our biggest problems, challenges and frustrations.
It's a faceless forum but I'm sure people can reach out and be of help.

Please it's not an avenue for begging, it's just an avenue to open up and air out your mind.
If someone that's capable of providing a solution is touched by your problem(s), they're free to render help/assistance.


Opening this thread to help fight against depression.

I really need money.

[quote author=Lukewarm post=74959657]I am at crossroads in my relationship life right now.

On one hand, I've got this great dude I've been with for some years. Everyone thinks he's perfect for me because he's ready to be responsible and settle down, then he also plans for the future.

But the problem?

We don't seem to have that connection or chemistry. I find it hard just telling him I love him. But everyone keeps ringing it into my ear that he's one of the good guys and there are quite a few out there. So I promised myself to respect him and hope that is enough to keep a marriage going.

Then on to the minor thing:
1. He's a traditional guy. He believes all a woman needs to do is cook, clean, and conceive. He believes a lot of things are frivolities and a wife has got little to no say in the house.

This really badgers me.

But hey! He's one of the few good ones available.....right?

Then I got a shocker.

I met someone 2 months ago and its been a totally crazy and new experience for me.

It's the first time I've seen someone share the same warped sense of humour I've got. First time I'd meet someone that shares a lot of common interest with me. First time someone will creep into my subconscious and make me smile or even lol at something goofy he did or said.

Now, it's got me thinking:

Is respect really enough?

But my family is having none of that second thoughts. It so happens they'd conveniently bring up the story of a really distant aunt that lost her opportunity to marry by saying No to someone and is still a spinster at 45.

And it really isn't helping matters that my new POI is from a different tribe and isn't set for settling now.

So conflicted.


:-my dear, stay with the guy you already know his flaws. Sometimes this new flame thing with this new guy may just end quickly the way it started, at least get to know him for real before shifting post.
[/quote